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It’s now been a week since Roland signed the contract. This time, he’s truly working as a librarian. He remembers Angela telling him that if he had met the Sephirot under different circumstances, they might have made great colleagues. Still, he seriously doubts the head librarian of the Religion floor could be considered a good comrade. Can someone so blind and closed-minded even be called a colleague?
At first, one might blame the Sephirot and even Angela for forcing him to work for them against his will. Yet, over time, he’s come to enjoy every moment spent in their company, from fierce battles to quiet downtime. Gradually, through the pages, he discovers they’re actually good people who only wanted to save their world. But they ended up suffering because of the madness of a single man. Hokma, however, is different. Binah too, though not for the same reasons.
Angela seems to appreciate that old man a lot although “appreciate” might be a bit of a stretch. She often visited his floor, and even now, she still does from time to time, for reasons unknown to Roland. Cold, prideful, and unwelcoming that’s what Roland remembers about Hokma.
He just doesn’t get how anyone could tolerate him. But… on the other hand…
You know, you two are quite alike.
“What?! What are you on about now? Who’s like me?
“You and Hokma. Ironically, you resemble each other.
Roland nearly spat out his tea at Binah’s words. In what world would he look like Hokma? The very idea was insulting!
He sees no similarities between himself and that old man who puts his trust in people who clearly don’t deserve it. He doesn’t resemble him physically, morally, or otherwise. He seriously wonders where Binah even got that idea.
“Where’s that coming from? There’s not a single thing we have in common! What could possibly make you think of something so absurd?
“You two are much more alike than you’re willing to admit, Roland. Really. Even if you can’t stand each other.
Seeing the skeptical look on Roland’s face, Binah smiles. It’s so easy to rattle him who would’ve thought just mentioning Hokma would make Roland grimace like that? Still, he’s going to lose patience soon, and Binah has no desire to deal with a grumpy Roland, so she starts her explanation. One had placed his trust in someone. The other had loved with all his heart. Both lost people dear to them and now live with the memories. They must carry on as survivors of their own tragedies.
“Even if Hokma seems cold and distant, that’s not truly who he is. And you must’ve noticed he looked happier when we’re all gathered. That attitude of his is just a way to protect himself from the unknown. I honestly think the two of you could learn to get along with a little effort. Though I believe you’ll have to take the first step. I’m not trying to play matchmaker, and I wouldn’t even call Hokma a friend, but he is someone I care about. I’d like to see him open up to people beyond us Sephirot. You don’t have to accept if you don’t want to.
With those words, Binah stands and leaves Roland alone. The request isn’t unreasonable. But does he really want to return to that floor just to talk with the head librarian?
“…I guess I have nothing to lose by trying.
Alright, alright… he’s expecting the worst. The last time he saw that man, things didn’t exactly go well.
Maybe it’s the talk with Binah, but he decides to confess his story. Upon arriving, he sits down in front of Hokma and begins his tale without delay.
Hokma remains silent as Roland speaks. Everyone knows the religious man hates being disturbed, and Roland braces for the possibility that the librarian might throw his tea in his face and tell him to leave—but nothing like that happens. There’s no judgment or pity in his eyes throughout the long monologue. Instead, the atmosphere is strangely calm, even comforting.
By the end of his confession, Roland feels as if a great weight has been lifted. He looks at Hokma’s aged, bitter face, and instead of the usual indifference, he sees the faint trace of a simple, gentle smile reassuring and intriguing.
At first, there’s still little conversation between them. Roland occasionally stops by the floor to read a few books before heading out. Hokma’s frown at the sight of “Angela’s servant” gradually softens over time. And now, whenever Roland visits, there’s always an extra cup of tea prepared.
The visits become more frequent. The scent of lemon tea becomes a source of quiet comfort. Roland still refuses to admit Binah was right—that he and Hokma could actually become friends. For now, they’re just acquaintances, and the former animosity is long gone.
Eventually, the day comes when Hokma feels comfortable enough in Roland’s presence to share his own story. Of a past self named Benjamin, which he remembers only faintly. Of Carmen, of their grand plans. And finally, of Ajin but from his own perspective. Because Roland only knows Angela’s version, and she despised Ajin for obvious reasons. Hokma no longer belongs to the past, yet nothing awaits him in the future. So he speaks of the only thing he has left in this purgatory: his belief, and his faith in Ajin, a being who once guided him and is now gone.
Roland won’t betray Hokma’s trust. He once called him blind and foolish. But now, he understands the Sephirot is, in a way, just like him. Both have lost everything, both are unsure of where to go. One tries to move forward, while the other clings to memory. Their past clash was simply because Hokma still believes in someone like Ajin.
None of it really matters anymore. Roland no longer feels disgust. He has truly changed even the hatred that once kept him standing has begun to fade.
Roland met Angela, who saved him from a path of ruin. But not everyone receives that gift. In truth, what both men lacked so close in their shared adversity was a friend to talk to. Someone to confide in. Someone to help them leave behind their darkness and move forward.
Seems like things went better than I ever imagined.
“So, you admit you were playing matchmaker?
“I was simply helping an old colleague. I must admit, I’m rather pleased with the results. I didn’t expect you to actually make the first move—especially not the same day! I thought you hated him so much my request would fall on deaf ears.
Binah isn’t wrong. Roland himself doesn’t know why he acted so quickly, when nothing compelled him to set foot back on the Religion floor. Was it simple curiosity? Did Hokma’s tragedy, so similar to his own, soften his judgment?
It doesn’t matter anymore. But does he have to justify himself to Binah? He refuses to give her the satisfaction—she’ll only go bragging to the others.
“You’re a terrible woman.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you. But it seems I’m not the only one satisfied. I can tell Angela’s happy that Hokma has gained a new friend.
“I already told you—we’re not friends, just acquaintances.
That’s what you think… The future is unpredictable.
Later, somewhere in the upper floors of the library, two people sit face to face.
“Binah…”
“It must have been a month since I last saw you. How have you been?
“I don’t understand why you went so far. It’s not like you to care about the health and well-being of your former colleagues.
“People change… And I suppose I just wanted to see you finally break out of that endless cycle you’ve inflicted on yourself. It’s not fair to see you lock yourself away, now that Angela has let go and is finally focused on the present. Compared to the others, only you and I still truly remember the rewinds. So I’ve taken it upon myself—selfishly—to nudge you toward a new path, to see how far you’ll follow it.
“You shouldn’t have. You gain nothing from doing this, especially for an old man. But I suppose I should thank you.
“Old? Last I checked, you’re younger than me… And you don’t need to thank me. Watching Roland was entertaining enough.