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" Entschuldigung ! Excuse- No! Nein ! Daim it," said tirely Jaemin.
The run after the tram was not on his today's list, but he didn't have any other option. He needed to stay late at work because the company got some new clients. He wasn't sure why they were so important to them, but he just accepted that.
He sighed deeply, pulled out his phone and checked time.
8:24 PM
At this point he was left with a taxi or bus, which he particularly didn't like because of the weirdly long tour.
"At least I will get paid for overtime," he muttered to himself while ordering his cab.
When he was waiting for the car to arrive, he looked at the sky. He gasped loudly seeing the first snow of the year. Smile could be seen on the man's face. He took out his phone and took some photos here and there. He sat down on a bench near him and felt like a little kid. Then he remembered his usahana keychain that he got that other time and-
"You're coming in?"
Voice interrupted his little moment. After seeing the cab on the side, he got up quickly, grabbed his briefcase and went to the taxi.
" Guten Tag ," he said after getting into it.
The taximan politely dipped his head and clicked something on his phone. Jaemin simply looked out from the window. He smiled deeply, but with the hint of sadness.
"Why am I even here?"
It was a question that popped in his head for the first time a few months ago. When he decided a couple of years ago that he wanted to move abroad, nothing could stop him. His mum tried to say something to his head, but nothing could go through it. He made up his mind and wanted to try.
Looking back now on this memory, he wondered if he made a good decision. Here, in Dusseldorf, he felt really warm but at the same time alone. He loved so many aspects of life here, even the small trips to his favorite Korean restaurant, where he could taste his homeland food. But in the end he never truly experienced that abroad boom with friends or something life-changing.
Sure, he had a stable job and a nice paycheck, but sometimes he would love to simply throw it away for the sake of the taste of life. He knew that many people would die for life like his, when he truly doesn't have to worry that much about his rent or if he is allowed to order a cab. He knew that. He just sometimes wondered what if he could trade that for something else.
" Scheiße !"
He heard a shout and then felt how something crashed into them. His eyes widened after a couple of seconds. Recollecting his thoughts about what happened and discovering that in fact, he was fully safe, he looked for the cause of the hit. He saw a man lying down on the ground next to the car and a crashed bicycle. He furrowed his brows and after short notice, that the taximan will not help the poor man, he exited the cab.
"You're alright?" he asked after going down to see if the man was badly injured.
Suddenly he heard squick wheels and saw how his cab was running away. Jaemin sighed deeply.
"What a joke," he muttered to himself and got back to see the man.
The cyclist was conscious but looked slightly confused.
"I think it's my fault," said the lying down man and reached out for some help.
Jaemin grabbed his hand and with slight force helped him get up.
"Do you feel any kind of bad ache anywhere?" he asked politely to which the other smiled awkwardly.
"I'm fine, you don't have to worry man. It was my fault, so it's even,"
Jaemin rolled his eyes to those words.
"You look pale though, you're sure that you don't want to get checked in the hospital?" asked seriously, feeling that the man didn't want to be a burden.
In some terms he was, but to Jaemin it was nothing. He already lost his whole day to his corporate job so a quick trip to the hospital would not make a big difference.
"No, I'm fine," the man said and suddenly Jaemin felt how his body was getting heavier and heavier.
"Hey, hey, hey!" he said loudly but he did not respond. He was now with an unconscious stranger in his arms on the side of the road.
"Fantastic," he muttered to himself, slowly accepting his fate as caretaker.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･
Jaemin felt a slight force on his shoulder. He opened wide his eyes and saw a cyclist man, now with some bandages on his face and those red hair, who were previously stuck under the helmet. Then he noticed the situation he was in. He just fell asleep in the corridor of the hospital. He brought the other man in and decided to wait, to gain knowledge if he did witness death or something.
"Hello?" the red-haired man looked at him with worried eyes, to which Jaemin wetted his lips and yawned.
“Your body? Everything is good, nothing broken?" he asked even though he could say just by looking at him, that the man was lucky enough and didn’t get a broken arm.
"I'm good thanks to you. I heard that I had a shock reaction from the collision with the car, but beside some scratches I'm good. My helmet helped me or I would be dead now if I would be lucky enough," he replied with a soft chuckle.
Jaemin smiled softly at those words.
"That's nice to hear," he said and got up, stretching his arms.
"I'm so grateful dude, you don't even know. What is your name?" the red-haired man asked with a stretch out hand.
"Jaemin and don't worry, it's fine," he took his hand and couldn't shake the feeling that it was calmly warm.
"Seriously, I owe you life man. I'm Mark," he laughed weakly.
"Nice to meet you and really, don't worry about it,"
Jaemin then went out from the hospital to which Mark followed.
"Then at least let me pay for your cab home or something," he suggested to which Jaemin quickly looked at the other.
"My duty is not done yet. I need to see your ass going home," he said with a joking voice.
The red-haired man scratched his neck and took a quick look at their surroundings.
"Then, I think I know this area. There should be some bus. Oh, wait! Hey, look! It's coming, let's run to catch it!" shouted in the end Mark and started running to try and reach the bus stop fast.
Jaemin went after the man and they both were running in a matter of seconds. The black-haired young adult was not really into sport but luckily to his morning's stretching, his body was not in the worst condition. When they were really near the stop, Mark started waving at the bus to give a signal for it to wait for them. Surprisingly it worked because in just a few seconds later they were both breathing heavily inside the running vehicle.
" Danke schön ," Mark said to the driver and sat at the nearby seat, to which Jaemin followed.
"You're quite something. You know we could wait for the next one, huh?" the black-haired suggested.
The red-haired blushed slightly to those words and laughed lightly.
"Yeah, but I didn't want you to, you know , waste more time on me, than you already did," said and turned his gaze towards Jaemin.
The other furrowed brows.
"Man, I would leave you on the spot if I would feel like you're wasting my time, you know. Don't worry, it's not big deal, really,"
He assured him and to prove that he even slightly patted him on the arm, even though he wasn't sure if it's appropriate for him to do so. Luckily Mark didn't seem to be offended by that and smiled softly. Then his face got pale. Jaemin worried, grabbed his arm fast and asked.
"Mark, do you feel bad again? Do you need me to bring you back to the hospital?"
"No, no . That's not that. My bicycle, I have left it there on the street," he said to which black-haired man clicked with his tongue.
"You know, I was trying to save your life. Your bicycle was the last thing on my head,"
Mark looked at him and smiled sadly.
"Nah, it's more about me. Dumb me and my ideas. I will just buy another but I'm still kind of sad about it. Just remembered that and you know, that got into me," he laughed lightly to which Jaemin hummed in understanding.
"Do you know how long it's gonna take to reach your home?" asked the black-haired man.
"30 minutes or more,"
"I see, then do you mind?"
Jaemin took out his headphones and looked at Mark. The other just shaked his head.
"Go on," he responded with slight embarrassment which made Jaemin think, what could cause that.
He put them on and went into the music app. He clicked tongue to see that he didn't have many songs downloaded. He wasted too much mobile data this month already so online listening wasn't a nice option either. He looked at the other man and tapped him on the shoulder. The red-haired man turned into his way and Jaemin could swear that his eyes were more sparkling than just a moment ago. Or maybe he didn't pay much attention before?
"Do you perhaps have some music on your phone?" he asked and scratched his head.
Mark chuckled and smiled awkwardly.
"Yeah, not sure if you will like them but, ummm ... yeah," he responded.
"Would you like to share them? You know, your phone, my headphones," Jaemin suggested and Mark smiled really widely.
The black-haired looked with utter surprise how eagerly the red-haired man was loading music on his phone. He opened his hand and Jaemin put the headphones on it. Mark plugged them in and gave one little thing to the other. Due to a short cable, the black-haired man moved closer to the other. Some pop song came to their ears as red-haired decided to go with the radio hits.
They were riding with the soft strings of guitar in their ears and somehow Jaemin felt really calm, kind of domestic if you could name that. He also didn't mind the closeness of the other one, even though they were practically strangers. Somehow it creeped him out, but he discovered that he even catched the other smell, which was pretty nice. He felt embarrassed about it, because it seems strange.
"Jaemin,"
Words from Mark's mouth stopped the black-haired man from his thoughts. He hummed to get his attention back.
"How old are you? Of course, if you're comfortable! I mean - You don't seem like you're from here, we're talking in english dude and,"
"It's alright. I'm 24,"
Mark gasped loudly at those words.
"No way! You're younger than me, lol. I'm 25, daim ," he laughed and covered his mouth with hand. Jaemin catched how a slight blush started growing on the other cheeks.
" Ya , how this happened," said the black-haired man with a joking voice, to which Mark started laughing even more.
"Why is it so funny to you?"
"I don't know man, you're so funny, dude," he said while laughing, to which Jaemin chuckled.
"You're really something," he said and was going to look outside of the window when he saw the small keychain on Mark's jeans.
"Have you watched Attack on Titan ?" the black-haired man asked, to which the red-haired man looked at him with surprise on his face.
"Yoo, dude you too? Who's your favorite character?" he asked with excitement.
When Jaemin catched that Mark's pure joy, he bited his upper lip.
" Adorable, " he thought.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･
The rest of the ride went like a light tickle of stars. They talked about their favorite series and other small things. Jaemin couldn't believe his thoughts but he got really interested in the other, even though he met him just two hours ago. Also he didn't know that before but he may have developed some thing for red hair, because he had to try really hard not to stare at like fire curls.
" Shit , it's our stop" said Mark suddenly.
He grabbed Jaemin's hand and ran out from the bus just before the door had closed. Then seeing his gesture, he let go of it and blushed slightly.
"Sorry, just an instinct," he muttered, waving at him and pointing his way home. The black-haired man got closer to him and they both started walking next to each other.
"What are you doing right now? Like you know, to eat stuff and so on," Jaemin asked to keep the conversation up.
Mark hummed softly.
"What a nice way to ask about someone's job. I have no clue what I'm doing right now but I'm trying to keep up with everything around me. And to answer your question more properly I'm working for my brother. He has his own small cafe and I like it there. Sometimes I also deliver stuff with my bike, but it's gonna be out for some time now," he laughed in the end lightly but quickly stopped. He scratched his neck and looked at the other.
"And you? What is your job? You seem to have nice life,"
Jaemin laughed bitterly.
"You could put it this way but I'm not sure if I'm happy with everything like this. I'm a corporate slave. Constant overtime, sleek outfits and foolish life. I'm not gonna say that this job reeks or something, but more like I'm not sure if it's the greatest fit for me," he replied sincerely to which Mark listened carefully. He hummed in understanding.
"But there is something for sure that you like, right?" the red-haired man asked lightly, but when he got no response soon, he looked at Jaemin.
He did not expect the other to have such a sudden dull look and teary eyes. The black-haired man seemed to be in some kind of moment . Mark wasn't sure what to do, when he noticed that rain started pouring their eyes into the road.
"Oh god, it started raining, let's go!" he shouted and used the weather as an excuse, grabbed the other hand once again.
Jaemin, followed by Mark, wasn't sure if running was the most clever option for them, but warm feelings from the other kept him livid in the moment. Even though he didn't know much about him, somehow felt glad that they met.
When they reached the doorstep, both of them were breathless.
"I should be going," said Jaemin even though he wasn't sure if he truly wanted to.
"Do you have an umbrella? You will catch something at this point," asked Mark with raised brow.
The black-haired man rolled his eyes.
"I'm not made from sugar," he said to which the red-haired chuckled.
"You're sure you would not like to come in? You know, just for the rain to stop," he suggested and looked at Jaemin.
The black-haired man had a hard time looking at the other eyes, because they looked pleading and extremely soft to him. He felt warm just by thinking about them.
Jaemin wasn't sure if he made the right decision but after a couple of seconds he nodded gently. Mark wasn't even trying to hide his little smile, which other found adorable. He somehow felt that clumsy man didn't have bad intentions or if so, he was already too deep to do anything about it.
When they reached the right flat after climbing through many stairs, Mark looked at Jaemin.
"Just for your information, I have a roommate. He's the cutest and kindest person I have ever met but he may be sometimes hard in the beginning. Just wanted to give you some heads-up," he said.
Jaemin chuckled softly, because what could he do now about it? Went back down? He was already too out of his comfort zone to even consider that. He wanted to see what destiny brought to him.
Mark, after seeing that Jaemin was not scared of his roommate, opened the flat with keys. They catched the black-haired attention though because who would have attached a red christmas tinker bell to them?
" So cute ," he thought for a tenth or so time this evening.
"Renjun?"
Mark's call was answered by silence. He let Jaemin get in and after closing the door, he went to check other rooms. When Jaemin was putting down his second ankle boot, Mark got back.
"Funny enough, it seems like Renjun is not here. It's really not like him, but well,"
The black-haired man could swear that Mark had blush on his face, but wasn't sure if he should point it out. He decided to save that to himself.
"I'm gonna go to the toilet. Please make yourself comfortable," Mark added after a second and again was gone.
Jaemin, using that as an opportunity, went around the flat. As he could notice, their home was pretty small. First room was an open space with some kitchen stuff that looked cramped but at the same time comfortable. He noticed some frames here and there, many packages and a fluffy cat pillow on the sofa.
He went closer to one of the framed photos. He saw Mark with brown hair who hugged some other guy. The stranger was smaller than the other and had a really lovely smile. Jaemin guessed that could be that roommate about which Mark told him.
After looking at other photos and seeing many versions of Mark's hair, he decided to sit down on the sofa. Even though it didn't look the best, he felt really great. Suddenly his whole body felt heavy and even though it was not in his style, he let himself lay down on it. His head laid down on the cat pillow, which made this even more comfortable. Jaemin didn't even notice when he closed his eyes and slowly went to dreamland.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･
"Jaemin? Jaemin, wake up,"
Jaemin, after hearing those words, opened his eyes slowly. After gaining more vision, he grasped the reality quickly. He fell asleep in a stranger's flat for who knows how long.
"Fuck," slipped through his lips.
He then noticed Mark, who was standing with his head above him. After seeing that Jaemin woke up, he smiled sincerely.
"I should have not woken you up. You were sleeping so peacefully. Anyway, I made you some coffee and toast. I thought you would be hungry," Mark said with a soft voice to not disturb the still kind of asleep state of other.
Jaemin on the other hand felt weirdly touched by Mark's actions. He wasn't sure when was the last time that he met someone that somehow cared about him or made him feel good in a way. The black-haired man got up, scratched his head and looked at the other with an apologetic face.
"I’m sorry for napping. If you already made the food, it would be a boomer to not taste that, so let a way," said Jaemin to which other beamed with some kind of light.
Both of them sat down at the small kitchen table on the opposite chairs. The red-haired man was holding his cup of warm green tea, while a corporate rat started consuming the food that was prepared for him. It was not the best dish that could be found on earth, but Jaemin felt some sort of warmth coming from it.
The comfortable silence between them disturbed the sound coming from the younger one's phone. He quickly pulled it out from his jacket and after reading the text, he sighed deeply.
"Something happened?" asked Mark with a worried voice Mark.
"Nah, just a notification from my manager. He wants me to be earlier tomorrow. Some important stuff and so," he replied emotionlessly.
"What a joke. That's why I'm happy with my two jobs. I'm still kind of a loser but yeah," said Mark with intention to somehow improve the broken mood.
After seeing no reaction from Jaemin, he decided to try something different.
"So," he started and after getting a look from the other, he continued.
"What do you do besides work? Like do you have any passion or hobby?"
Jaemin stopped eating mid-bite. His eyes went wider but only for a second and after that were back normal. He swallowed the remaining piece of bread in his mouth and smiled a little.
"Hobby, you say?"
"Yep, like reading or something," Mark added.
"If you would count drinking wine while trying to manage my other planner with things to improve, then yes. I have a hobby," he answered.
When Jaemin saw other rolling his eyes, he couldn't hold his laugh. After stopping it, his smile changed to a bitter one.
"I don't know Mark, I don't really have time for that," he said and the sincere truth could be felt through those words.
The older one was the one that sighed this time.
"It has to be something. Something you used to love or did when you were younger,"
Jaemin hummed softly and suddenly something popped up in his head. After putting the last piece of the meal in his mouth, he took a long sip of his coffee.
"I once took photos for a magazine in college. I cannot say that it was the love of my life but I was really into it. But at some point I had to sell my camera because I needed money so it's gone," he chuckled and after a second he added.
"It was fun though, really,"
Those words made Mark stand up.
"Come with me," he said and went somewhere.
Jaemin after a second followed him with confusion marked on his face. He went through the small corridor and reached the yellow door which was opened. When he peeked into the room, his attention caught a guitar and a stack with colorful books. He could swear that some of them he had seen at his last trip to the bookstore.
When his eyes followed the rest of the room, he noticed the open door to the balcony. He felt weird that he didn't see that earlier, especially since the rain was pretty hearable. Then he froze when he saw Mark standing there, getting wet with a smile on his face. His red hair was getting glued to his face but he seemed to not care about it. After a couple of seconds he catched Jaemin's eyes and his smile somehow got deeper.
"What are you waiting for? You said you were pretty good at making photos," Mark almost shouted.
Jaemin after hearing those words, blinked a couple of times and after a small awkward moment pulled out his phone with hesitation.
"I can't promise anything," he said suddenly shyly and tried to capture a red-haired smile.
He wasn't sure what he was doing but when Mark started to make some poses just for him, something relaxed inside him. With each frame taken he felt more comfortable and less awkward. The red-haired boy also was helping since his smile somehow made this whole situation less serious and more fun.
Suddenly the lightning struck and Mark jumped in a scary matter. That made Jaemin laugh a little bit. After that, the red-haired feeling that it was enough for him, went inside. His clothes were sticking to him tightly. When he noticed that, he blushed hard and excused himself to change into something less-watery.
Jaemin couldn't help feeling that he indeed felt better. He wasn't sure if this hobby was still for him, but he had fun. He forgot that doing something so simple could be so enjoyable.
He sat down on the nearby chair and feeling a sudden wave of sadness and happiness, he tilted his head.
"I'm so pathetic," he mumbled and tried his best to not break into tears.
Then his attention got stuck into something else. On the top shelf of the wardrobe that he was sitting nearby, a shining note was sticking out from some random book. The glittery words which came together with the sentence " bucket list " made him curious.
He stood up and after a few tries, he reached out for it. After he had it in his hands, he looked at it carefully.
"I don't want to die with regrets," he started reading and a small smile could be seen on his face.
The list contained things like buying the most random thing in the world, learning sign language or trying to win some bingo lottery. What caught Jaemin's attention was the last point.
"Going abroad to another country with someone close," he read out aloud.
He scratched his head and put the list down. He sat again and with some conflict inside him, he opened the gallery on his phone. He started checking out photos that he made just a couple minutes ago.
"Daim you Mark," he mumbled because he felt that his thing for red-haired people was growing stronger inside him.
He couldn't argue that photos and to be precise Mark looked endearing and made him feel good, the best in a long time. Then he saw the last photo that he took and stopped there. He catched the frame where Mark was still smiling but the lightning struck and the sky went bright. The background made him look almost like the most beautiful person in the world.
Or maybe he was right now to Jaemin?
"Sorry for the long wait, I just couldn't find one thing," said Mark going inside the room, getting the other from his thoughts.
He then noticed the piece of paper and rushed to Jaemin.
"Oh, you saw the list?" he asked and the other nodded.
Mark sat down on the bed and looked at Jaemin. His smile was tight but not awkward. The black-haired man straightened himself. He didn't want to scare other or do something against them.
"I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable,"
"No, no. Don't worry about it", Mark interrupted him. He touched his face with hand and squeezed eyes hard.
"It's just, ugh ," he signed to which Jaemin smiled apologetically.
He cursed at himself inside, because he felt that because of that small thing, he destroyed everything he made with Mark that day. Even though it was only a couple of hours, he felt like that downfall would cost him a lot. He attempted to say something but then the red-haired man spoke.
"I'm just silly sometimes you know, not sure how to say that. There is no deep meaning behind that list but- I just sometimes feel like my life is going through my fingers and I'm doing nothing to stop that," after that he sighed deeply.
"I just hate myself for that. That, you know that!" he added and pulled his hands above his head.
"I don't know, I'm wasting myself. I'm juggling between two jobs and just can't keep myself up," he said with a sad voice.
Jaemin couldn't help it and sadly smiled. He somehow felt him. Even though for him, the definition of wasted life was totally different, the thought of hating himself was not unfamiliar to him. He bitted down his lips and with sudden strength, got up. He crouched just before Mark and put hand on his. The red-haired looked at him and Jaemin could swear that his eyes were shining the most at that moment with a glimpse of tears.
"So," he wetted his lips and with small but strong confidence in voice said. "Do you have any kind of country in your head you would like to visit?"
Mark opened his mouth slightly. It looked like his head was trying to figure out the question. Jaemin saw in his eyes how hard he was thinking. They were shining but with different kinds of that before. They were hopeful.
"I have never thought about it like for real Jaemin," he said with a still voice.
Even though the answer was not what the black-haired man expected, he smiled slightly. Inside him, he felt like he was opening a door to a totally strange world for him. Something new, something different. Suddenly he understood that his mind had already made a decision about the situation. He did that when he decided to go inside this flat, even maybe when he was in the hospital. He wasn't sure if it was right to do, but felt that he needed that. They both need that. So he popped up the question that made him so excited but scared at the same time.
Because it was not turning back now.
"Mark, how do you feel about trains?"
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･
"Mark?"
Renjun got nothing in return. He signed deeply and closed the door to the flat. He was away for more than three days, which was unusual for him but what could he do, when his boyfriend was so cute, endearing and everything.
"This fucking nerd," he said after looking at himself at the mirror.
His neck was full of bruises. He didn't like that since he had to go to work in the evening, and he was private about his life there. He turned around and noticed the trash bag near the door. He cursed under his nose. He already told Mark about it twice, that he hates if he is not cleaning after himself but it looked like he had to do that for the third time.
He dragged himself to the yellow door and turned the knob.
"Mark, I love you but you have to," he stopped speaking after seeing that his roommate's room was empty.
It was really unusual for Mark to be out around this hour, especially since Renjun remembered the whole schedule of the older one. He scrunched his brows and went back into their shared space. The brown-haired man sat down on the couch.
"Maybe he got some shift at Johnny's," he thought aloud and pulled out phone from his pocket.
He immediately smiled upon seeing a message from his boyfriend. He sent him some cute photo of kitten and puppy. They were cuddling happily and above them was a little red heart. It was accompanied with the text " me and you ".
"What a sap," he chuckled and put a heart reaction on it.
He didn't know how but he loved his dorky boyfriend. He never took himself of the person who would fall for something like this but he was proved wrong just after their first date. He never felt this way and even though he didn't want to say that aloud, he wished that this relationship would be his last and long.
Message sound popped out and after seeing it's from Mark, Renjun quickly went into their conversation to see what he got. His brown went up upon seeing what arrived on his phone. It was not what he had expected.
What he got was a simple photo of Mark and some black-haired man squished cheek-to-cheek next to him on some bridge. They were smiling warmly and looking straight into the camera. Renjun tried to recognize the place and after a few seconds, his eyes widened.
"What is this dude doing in Prague?"
Renjun knew this place because he was there with Jeno last year for their first anniversary. It was a little big for him, to do something like this but in the end he was more than happy that he did that, because they grew together even more with that experience. This way, he was sure that the photo Mark sent was from Charles Bridge and it was no other than in Prague, in the Czech Republic.
Suddenly another message came, this time text one. Renjun read it quickly and hummed softly. He then smiled warmly and after a couple of seconds, blocked his phone and went with his day. He needed to prepare himself to work and it seemed like didn't need to think about Mark.
"Don't worry about me. I will be back soon. And just for you to know, I'm more than happy now. I'm just trying to find my place in the world"
The text message said and the previously sent photo was to prove that truthfully.