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You didn't teach me to forget you

Summary:

“But now they see you as you are”

Alicent woke up with a start. Her heart was racing, her head throbbed, and her left forearm burned with pain. It took only a moment for her to realize she wasn’t in her own chambers—which was strange. Why had she slept here?

Then, all at once, the memories came crashing down: her son’s lost eye, her husband’s lack of concern, her discussion with Rhaenyra, and finally, the knife cut…

or

Bodyswap AU

Notes:

I’d like to thank my dear friend Julia ❤️ — without her, this fic wouldn’t exist. She’s also writing an amazing fanfiction about knight Rhaenicent, you can check it out in this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63992104

The title of this fanfic is the English translation of a beautiful Brazilian song title: "Você Não Me Ensinou a Te Esquecer" (You didn’t teach me to forget you).

This is my very first fanfic, and English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Age of the characters

Aegon: 14 Years
Helaena:12 Years
Aemond: 11 Years
Jacaerys: 10 years
Lucerys: 8 years
Joffrey: 1 year
Alicent and Rhaenyra: 29 years

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Alicent

 

“But now they see you as you are”

 

Alicent woke up with a start. Her heart was racing, her head throbbed, and her left forearm burned with pain. It took only a moment for her to realize she wasn’t in her own chambers—which was strange. Why had she slept here?

Then, all at once, the memories came crashing down: her son’s lost eye, her husband’s lack of concern, her discussion with Rhaenyra, and finally, the knife cut…

Oh, Seven. Was she here because the king had decided she was no longer fit to be queen? Had he cast her aside after what she’d done to his daughter? Was she about to be executed for treason?

Where was her father?? And her children??

Her breathing quickened. Her heart pounded louder. Her hands trembled. These feelings weren’t new to her. Perhaps a glass of wine would help. She spotted a jug of Arbor Red set by an open window. The sun was still rising; only the servants and guards would be awake at this hour.

The sweetness of the wine was a small comfort. For a fleeting moment, the only sounds she heard were the gentle singing of birds and the distant crashing of waves. But the sudden sound of someone entering the room sent a fresh wave of panic through her—sharper, fiercer. That was it. They had come to kill her. Or to throw her in the black cells. Or to cut out her tongue and make her a Silent Sister—

“Alicent,” a voice said behind her. Looking back to her intruder she sees… herself?

“Alicent, it’s me, Rhaenyra.” 

Alicent has known Rhaenyra’s appearance since she was nine years old. Red hair, brown eyes and straight nose are certainly not included in her physical features and needless to say Rhaenyra does not look like a lost twin sister of Alicent. 

She is dreaming, that's the only explanation,she just needs to find a way to wake up and then this nightmare will finally end.

 

Rhaenyra

 

Alicent is about to panic, Rhaenyra knows this because she was acting exactly the same when she woke up in the queen’s chambers and looked in the mirror.

Then she saw Alicent moving toward the open window.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Rhaenyra asked, confused.

“I shall throw myself from this window and wake from this abnormal dream,” Alicent replied calmly, almost detached.

She is throwing herself from WHERE?!

Rhaenyra rushed forward and grabbed her arm, trying to pull her back. It was harder than expected; after all, her body was now Alicent’s, and Alicent’s body was now hers .

Ouch!

Alicent froze, clutching her left arm. Her eyes dropped to the grotesque scar carved into the skin.

Rhaenyra watched as Alicent’s gaze shifted from her arm to her hands, then down to her nightgown... and finally up to the pale strands of her hair.

The queen looked up at Rhaenyra with the most bewildered expression she had ever seen. Rhaenyra might have laughed, if the situation weren’t so utterly insane.

“When—how—what is going on? Why do I have white hair ?”

Wanting to end Alicent's suffering, Rhaenyra gently led her to the other side of the room, where a dressing table stood with a polished mirror.

Alicent stared at her reflection in silence, unable to believe what she saw.

“I know it’s strange,” Rhaenyra said gently, trying to tranquil her. “Believe me, I acted the same way when I woke up.”

But Alicent didn’t answer. She simply kept staring at the mirror, her mind trying—and failing—to make sense of the impossible.

“How did this happen?”

The princess was about to admit she had no idea when a knock at the door interrupted them.

A servant stepped into the room and bowed slightly. “Excuse me, Princess… Oh—good morning, Your Grace.”

A heavy silence fell. All eyes turned to the queen—or rather, the princess standing in the queen’s body.

Alicent gave Rhaenyra a small nudge with her shoulder, prompting her to respond.

“Good morning!” Rhaenyra replied quickly, her voice a touch too high pitched.

The servant gave her a puzzled look but continued without comment. “The King has just woken and wishes to speak with you, Princess. In fact, he’d like to see both of you.”

This was probably going to be the longest lecture Rhaenyra had ever received in her life. And for what? It wasn’t her fault that Alicent’s son had called her children bastards—she was only defending them! 

Luke was only trying to protect himself, his brother, and his cousins.

The anger she’d felt toward Alicent the night before came rushing back. How dare she demand the eye of a child—

“Shall I prepare your bath, my princess?”

They would be able to hear a needle drop in the silence that followed this question

“Is everything alright? I can return later if Your Graces wish to finish your conversation,” the servant offered, cautious.

Rhaenyra froze. Her mind went blank. Even the fury that had burned in her moments before vanished into thin air.

“That would be great,” Alicent says. “The… Queen and I still have some matters to discuss.”

They watched in silence as the servant exited the chamber.

“What is the matter with you?” Alicent hissed, clearly irritated. “You are the Queen now. Please don’t make me look like a fool in front of others.”

“Well, pardon me for being caught off guard by my father’s summons,” Rhaenyra shot back.

T hat wasn’t the real reason she’d acted like a fool—but Alicent didn’t need to know that.

“So what are we going to do about this?” Rhaenyra asked, gesturing between the two of them.

Alicent took a moment before answering.

“I believe the best thing to do now is to take a bath and hear what King Viserys has to say. We can sort this mess out later,” Alicent replied, composed but firm.

“How can you be so calm? Just moments ago, you were about to throw yourself out of the window!”

“I’m not calm, Rhaenyra. I’m losing my mind over this,” she said through gritted teeth. “But right now, the only thing we can do is bathe and see the King.”

“Even if it means you have to see me unclad?”

Alicent stopped. She took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and after a long moment, gave a stiff nod.

“I think it’s best if you return to the Queen’s chambers. They’re probably already preparing my bath. And we can’t keep the King waiting,” she said as she stepped toward the door to call for the guard and summon the servant back.

Rhaenyra left the room, her chest tight with anxiety.

When she arrived at Alicent’s chambers, she saw that the bath had already been prepared.

The maidens surrounded her at once, ready to undress her. Her heart beat faster with every layer they removed.

Completely exposed and doing her best not to look at Alicent’s body, Rhaenyra stepped into the tub. As she sat down, a sharp burning sensation flared on her right thigh. She glanced down to find a medium-sized cut—thankfully not deep, probably not in need of stitches.

“Your Grace, would you prefer to bathe alone or—?”

“I prefer to bathe with the maidens,” she answered in a rush, cheeks flushed.

After a small moment of silence she added.

“Pardon me. I’m simply exhausted from yesterday’s events,” she says, her cheeks still red. “Please, I’d prefer the maidens bathe me.”

It turned out to be the longest bath Rhaenyra had ever endured. Every time a maiden pressed a sponge against her— Alicent’s —breasts, she had to close her eyes and steal her will not to look down.

Which... may not have worked every time

 

Alicent

 

She and Rhaenyra need to find a way to reverse this as fast as possible. That had been, without a doubt, the most uncomfortable bath Alicent had ever taken in her life. 

She tried her best to avoid looking at Rhaenyra’s body, which proved to be an impossible task, especially since her breasts had doubled in size after the recent birth of Joffrey.

In conclusion she ends the bath with a flushed face and a nervous feeling under her belly.

Leaving the chambers with a classic red Targaryen dress, Alicent goes on her way to meet the King, walking around the hallways of the Driftmark castle she bumps into Prince Lucerys.

”Mom!” He says with a clear scared face, oh seven, Alicent is not prepared to deal with this

“Prince Lucerys,” she said, trying to maintain composure, “what’s the matter?” Thankfully, the boy was too distressed to notice anything strange in her voice or manner.

“I had the worst nightmare last night,” he said, tears welling in his eyes. “I dreamed that the Queen and Aemond tied me to a chair and took both of my eyes…”

Before she could respond, he threw his arms around her, seeking comfort.

Alicent just accepts the hug, she is not a monster…alright, perhaps demanding a child’s eye hadn’t been her finest moment. But what else was she supposed to do? Her son had lost an eye, he is crippled forever, and Rhaenyra’s sons hadn’t even received a slap on the wrist.

With Lucerys still crying in her arms, she tries her best to comfort him.

”Everything is alright…my…boy, the Queen and Aemond are not going to harm you, I promise… Although I hope you understand that what you did to Aemond was wrong.”

Lucerys pulled back slightly and frowned up at her.

“I was only protecting myself! He was going to kill us!”

Alicent’s voice rose unintentionally.

“Aemond is just a child! He wouldn’t be able to kill anyone!”

She was about to step back from the hug when a voice cut in behind her.

“Luk—Prince Lucerys! Is everything alright?”

She looks behind and finds Ser Criston with an angry face staring at her, and Rhaenyra with a clear worried expression. Lucerys’s panic flared again. He clung to Alicent’s dress, crying harder than before.

“Mommy, don’t let her near me! She’s going to take my eyes!”

Alicent glanced at him, then at Rhaenyra, trying desperately to find words to calm the boy.

Before she could speak, another figure appeared at the end of the hallway.

She froze. Rhaenyra turned just in time to see Otto Hightower approaching, eyes narrowed and calculating.

“Your Grace. Princess. Prince Lucerys,” Otto greeted them in his usual flat tone. “Pardon me for the interruption, but the King would like to see his daughter and his wife. He awaits you both in the Driftwood Throne Room.”

Lucerys had quieted by the time Otto finished speaking.

“Princess Rhaenyra,” he added, “it’s time for you to let the Prince go on his way. I’m sure this conversation can be continued later. It’s neither acceptable nor polite to keep the King waiting.”

Lucerys looks up at Alicent waiting for her command.

”You may go, Prince Lucerys.”

He nods and gives her a last hug, which she did not reciprocate. 

“Do you promise we are going to talk about this later, mommy?” He asks in a whining voice.

“Sure.” She answers in a rush, trying her best to make him go away as fast as possible.

 

Rhaenyra

 

 

Rhaenyra watched as her son disappeared down the hallway in the opposite direction.

“We should go,” she heard Alicent say beside her.

The four of them made their way to the Driftwood Throne Room—Otto walking several paces ahead, Ser Criston trailing behind, and the two women in the middle.

“Why was Luke crying? Did someone hurt him?” Rhaenyra asked, a note of panic creeping into her voice.

“Prince Lucerys is fine,” Alicent replied coolly. “He just had a nightmare. Apparently, he dreamed that Aemond and I were going to tie him up and cut out his eyes.” Her voice dripped with mockery.

Rhaenyra frowned. “Could you not joke about my son’s nightmare? He’s a sensitive child,” she said, clearly irritated.

“No, Rhaenyra, I won’t stop. Because unlike Lucerys, my son is, in fact, missing an eye,” Alicent snapped back, her voice low but full of fury.

“Well, perhaps if your son hadn’t hurled vile accusations at my children, none of this would have happened,” Rhaenyra retorted.

Alicent was about to answer when she noticed her father glancing back at them with a puzzled expression.

They should probably stop talking before Otto or anyone else in the castle hears the queen and the princess calling each other by the erroneous names and defending the wrong children.

They walked the rest of the way in tense silence.

 

___________

 

When they entered the throne room, they saw Viserys seated on the Driftwood Throne, his expression already marked by irritation.

”Finally! When the King summons someone, the expectation is for this person to come see him as fast as possible.

”I’m sorry, my King, Rha-the queen and I had some matters that we needed to discuss.” She hears Alicent saying.

This time, Viserys's tone gets neutral when he speaks again.

”I hope that the matter you two had to discuss was an apology to each other and an understanding of the humiliation you made me endure last night.” 

Neither of them responded, and so the King continued.

"There are two things I wish to address. First, I want to know how you’re feeling. After the… incident with the dagger, Alicent dropped the blade and apparently suffered a cut to her thigh. And right after that, both of you fainted.” 

Viserys looked expectantly at them.

Alicent answered first.

“Apart from the pain in my left arm, I’m in perfect health, my King.”

Rhaenyra followed. “You are right, my King. The knife did cut my thigh but, like the… princess said, aside from that, I feel fine.”

“That’s excellent news,” Viserys said, exhaling through his nose. “The entire castle was concerned. You can imagine the faces of the lords—and mine—after watching both my wife and my daughter collapse to the ground… one on top of the other.”

Rhaenyra processes this new information.

“Second,” Viserys continued, “Otto and I have decided that both of you, along with your children, will begin spending more time together through designated group activities.”

WHAT !?

Only now did Rhaenyra register that Otto was still in the room with them.

“I want to be clear,” the King went on. “This is not a punishment. Think of it as an arrangement to lift the spirits of our family. Who knows? Perhaps the two of you might even become friends again, like in the old days.”

Alicent’s expression was pure disbelief. Rhaenyra didn’t even try to scoff—her own face likely mirrored the Queen’s.

“Once we return to King’s Landing tomorrow, arrangements will be made, and various activities will be proposed for you all.”

The room fell into a heavy, uncomfortable silence. After a short moment Viserys dismisses them.

“Queen Alicent, do you have a moment to walk with your father? There are some matters I’d like you to discuss with you.” Otto says, walking towards Rhaenyra.

FUCK ME! If Otto Hightower knew how much Rhaenyra want him dead, he would throw himself out of the window at this moment.

“Of course,” she said, forcing a polite smile. “We can walk together… father .”

Criston was about to follow her, but she demanded that he stay behind.

 

__________

 

Otto led her to a stone balcony overlooking the sea.

“Alicent,” he began, “you should know that, of course,  the idea of you and Rhaenyra spending more time together wasn’t mine. Viserys refused to consider any of my other suggestions. So I’m here to warn you again—she’s dangerous. Don’t let your guard down around her.”

Otto Hightower trying to push her and Alicent away from each other, what a surprise.

”I hope you remember that for her to get the Iron Throne she will have to put your kids on the sword!” 

Wait—what?!

“So please,” he continued, “don’t let her manipulate you. Think about what happened the last time you trusted her.”

What happened the last time Alicent trusted Rhaenyra?

Otto paused. Rhaenyra’s thoughts were spinning. Is this what he’s been whispering in Alicent’s ear all these years? That Rhaenyra is going to…assassinate her children.

He spoke again.

“I only want what’s best for you, my daughter. You and I both know… she’s not good for you. Right?”

This FUCKING BASTARD!! 

“Yes… Father,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Good,” he replied with a satisfied nod. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Just… remember what I said.”

If Rhaenyra had a crossbow in her hands, Otto Hightower’s brains would be splattered across the balcony stones by now.

 

Alicent

 

After Viserys’s dismissal, she left the throne room as quickly as possible, not bothering to stay and hear whatever her father had to say. The only thought occupying her mind was finding her son—Aemond.

A servant, wearing a confused expression, informed her that he was with Maester Runciter.

Upon arriving at the maester’s chambers, she found her son crying while Runciter applied a strange paste to the wounded side of his face.

At first, neither of them noticed her presence. But the moment Aemond opened his good eye and saw her, a look of pure terror spread across his face. Alicent was quickly reminded that, technically, she is Rhaenyra now and tries to come up with a plausible reason for being there. 

“Prince Aemond, I am here to… apologize for my son’s behavior. That vile act is not how a prince of the realm should behave... and he will receive a punishment.”

Aemond simply stares at her. He looks so small, so scared, so lonely, and in so much pain. She wishes she could embrace him and whisper that everything will be alright.

”Is everything alright with him, Maester?" She asks, trying to divert her attention from her son’s suffering.

“The eye is lost, princess. Now, the only thing left to do is tend to the wound to prevent infection.”

Alicent gave a small nod.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. After a few more moments, she quietly excused herself and slipped out. She made her way to the Great Chamber—a more private room located near the Great Hall, where the midday meal would likely be served.

_____________

 

Upon arriving at the room, Alicent found Jacaerys and Lucerys seated at a small round table, playing a quiet game of chess. Across the room, Aegon lay sprawled out on a couch, clearly uninterested in whatever was going on.

When she enters, Prince Jacaerys and Prince Lucerys invite her to see them playing. 

Aegon just pretends that she is not there.

After a long moment of silence, Jacaerys begins to speak. “Mother, is everything alright?” He asks, with a concerned tone.

It took Alicent a moment to realize he was speaking to her. She hesitated before answering.

“Yes… why wouldn’t I be alright?” Her voice was calm, but cautious.

A low chuckle came from the couch.

“Perhaps because you and my mother suddenly fainted last night,” Aegon said, not even bothering to look at her, “and no one knows why.”

Jacaerys and Lucerys tensed at Aegon’s words, but reluctantly nodded in agreement..

”He is right, mother. What happened last night was odd. The moment you and the Queen fainted, The King and Ser Otto Hightower entered in panic, shouting at every servant in the room and demanding the maester's presence-.” 

She then hears Aegon laughing even harder, interrupting Jacaerys as he begins to speak. 

“If you think Viserys and Grandsire were panicking, it’s because you didn’t see the Sea Snake,” Aegon says between laughs.”His expression was pure horror. I suppose he reacted that way because he was worried about how bad it would look if the queen and the princess died in his castle.”

SEVEN GODS! Alicent had imagined the situation was bad, but not like this.

”I’m glad you weren’t badly harmed, Mom. Is the knife wound hurting too much?” She hears Lucerys asking.

“No... Most of the time, I forget it’s even there.” She answers in a low tone, surprised that someone would be worried about her wound.

”That’s great to hear, if it starts to hurt too much, please, mother, go see the maester." Jacaerys says as he takes Alicent's hand and gives her a small smile.

A wave of emotion crashed over Alicent. Melancholy crept into her chest like an old, familiar ache.

 

Why can’t my children be like this?

 

Why couldn’t Aegon or Helaena or even Aemond speak to her like this? Why were her own children so distant, so hard to reach?

Alicent knows that she is not the best mother in the world, but she had tried her best at raising her babies. 

 

Why can’t they show affection toward her?

 

She desires to be as close to her children as Rhaenyra is to her sons. She wants to have easy conversations with them, she wants to see her children joking with her, she wants to have nice dinners and light moments with them.

A painful urge to cry rises in her chest. 

She needs to leave this place. 

Now.

 

Rhaenyra

 

She is furious, Otto Hightower is, without a doubt, the BIGGEST CUNT! In all of Westeros. The very thought of him makes her blood boil. 

Rhaenyra storms through the halls of Driftmark, desperately searching for anything—or anyone—that might distract her from the overwhelming urge to burn Otto alive.

After some time, she nearly collides with Laenor.

The expression he wears upon seeing her is so comical that she almost bursts into laughter, but then she remembers Alicent’s warning about her being the queen now.

“Prince Laenor,” she greets, keeping her tone light.

“Queen Alicent,” he replies stiffly, his voice cautious and clipped.

“May I ask where you’re headed?”

Laenor hesitates for a moment before answering.

“To the Great Chamber, Your Grace. My wife and children are there, and my mother asked me to inform them that we’re all expected in the Great Hall for the midday meal.” His words come through clenched teeth.

“That’s good to hear. I’ll walk with you, then. I have some matters I’d like to discuss with… Princess Rhaenyra.”

Laenor looks at her with such pure, undisguised rage that if looks could kill, she'd be laid out cold on the stone floor.

“Shall we?” He mutters before turning and heading toward the Great Chamber.

The walk is silent and painfully awkward. Every attempt Rhaenyra makes at conversation is met with nothing more than a polite, curt response or a tight-lipped nod.

When they finally reach the room, she steps inside—only to bump into Alicent.

The moment she sees her face, Rhaenyra’s mood shifts entirely. Alicent's eyes are glassy, red-rimmed, on the verge of tears.

“What happened?” Rhaenyra asks, stepping closer, her voice low but laced with concern.

Alicent’s expression is deeply wounded. 

Rhaenyra glances around the room, spotting only her sons and Aegon. 

Did Aegon say something cruel to make her cry?

Noticing Rhaenyra’s frown as she looks at Aegon, Alicent quickly mutters, "I’m fine. Nothing happened."

Rhaenyra opens her mouth to say I don’t believe you —but before she can, Laenor steps in.

He places a hand around Alicent’s shoulders, pulling her slightly away from Rhaenyra, and addresses the room.

“The King and the rest of the family are waiting for us in the Great Hall. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

The way he pulls Alicent away infuriates her.

Yes, she understands. In his eyes, she’s the Queen. But she and Alicent were in the middle of a conversation. He had no right to interrupt so bluntly—and it unsettles her more than she’d care to admit.

_____________

 

The lunch goes smoothly. Rhaenyra and Alicent sit on opposite sides of the table and don’t speak to each other for the rest of the meal. 

looking around her side of the table she sees:

Aegon drinking too much wine, Helaena just sitting there in silence, and Aemond eating his food without looking at anyone. 

Rhaenyra, observing this scene, just feels… low-spirited. 

Her half-siblings seem so depressed, even Aegon is not saying stupid things and disturbing the meal.

On the other side of the table, she sees Laenor, Jace, and Luke trying to have a conversation with Alicent. 

She can hear Luke talking about his new toy and Jace about his sword practice. The queen doesn’t look so interested, even though she is clearly trying to appear focused on what they are saying. 

Then Alicent, sensing someone watching her, turns—and meets Rhaenyra’s gaze. For a brief moment, she smiles softly.

 

The princess’ heart starts to pound a little faster after this.

 

Seeing Alicent trying to put effort into talking with her sons, she decides to do the same with her half-siblings. 

“Helaena, Aemond… are you two enjoying the meal?” 

Helaena looks at Rhaenyra, but doesn't answer anything, while Aemond, on the other hand, looks at her and gives a little nod. 

“Is your eye healing well, Aemond?” 

He continues in silence. 

After that uncomfortable moment, she tries again. 

“And you, Aegon? Are you enjoying the meal?” 

“Not really,” he mutters, barely glancing at her. “I fucking hate fish.” 

When he finishes speaking, Corlys Velaryon merely shoots him an irritated look. 

Trying to make the situation better, Aegon adds to the sentence,“but the wine is delicious!” He says, raising his cup.

Rhaenyra just stares at him.

She doesn't understand how this person came out of Alicent and is the grandson of Otto Hightower.

He is utterly pathetic—no sense of politics, no diplomacy, no grasp of what it means to be a ruler. And yet there are lords in this realm who would still choose him over her, only because of a dick that she doesn’t have.

That bitter thought lodges itself in her chest like a stone.

Rhaenyra says nothing else for the rest of the meal.

_____________

After lunch, they all disperse. 

Rhaenyra tries to talk with her sons and Laenor, but they clearly appear bothered by that.  The sensation of her children being so cold to her makes her feel terrible.

For the rest of the day, Rhaenyra stays practically alone. 

Her father is in a meeting with Corlys, Rhaenys and Otto Hightower. Laenor and her children don’t want to talk to her, she has no idea how to talk with her half-siblings, she can’t find Alicent anywhere.

She even asked someone if they had seen Daemon, but the servant said that he had left the castle this morning. 

If it weren’t for the servants and Criston Cole following her everywhere, she would have spent the whole day alone.

 

Alicent

 

When the meal was over, Alicent decided to go for a walk to escape from Rhaenyra’s children and Ser Laenor. 

She felt completely numb from the overwhelming conversations. 

The queen had never had a meal with her children and Viserys that felt like this. Most of the time, they didn’t even eat together, and when they did, Viserys was almost never there.

A wave of resentment crashes into her. 

Why make her give birth to four children if he isn’t even going to care for them? Perhaps if he had been more involved in raising them, their children would have turned out better.

A feeling of bitterness starts to grow in her chest, wondering how her life would have turned out if she hadn’t married Viserys.  

 

Rhaenyra would still love her.

 

Alicent spent the entire day at the beach. Watching the seagulls, trying to build a simple sandcastle, swimming in the sea, and overthinking about her marriage and her children... 

Aegon is a difficult teenager, but he wasn’t always this way. As a child, he had been needy, and since Alicent struggled to handle it, she simply pushed him away.

She wonders if that’s the reason for why he is so distant and difficult now. 

Then, Helaena was born, and she used to cry so much that the only thing Alicent could think of was to let the maids take care of her.

Aemond had always been the most determined—trying to be the best at High Valyrian, at sword fighting, at history. 

She had always thought he was putting too much pressure on himself, but she had never been able to express this to him... And now, her son had lost an eye because he feared he would be less of a Targaryen without a dragon.

An overwhelming sadness crashed into her. 

Daeron, her youngest child. 

A second passed before Alicent realized she could barely remember what he looks like, how he acts, or the sound of his voice…

She began to cry—not just a few quiet tears, but deep, uncontrollable sobs. Her face turned red, the tears fell in heavy streams, and her features became swollen from crying. 

She can’t remember what her baby looks like. 

A broken sob slips from her lips.

___________________

 

When Alicent finally calmed down, she noticed that the sun was already setting.  She tried to make herself look more presentable—less like someone who had been crying for a long time. Then, she decided to return to the castle.

When she entered her room, she asked the maidens to prepare a bath for her. Her hair and body were full of sand, and she smelled of seawater.  The maidens bathed her quickly, not mentioning her tear-streaked face and swollen features.

Bathed and dressed with her nightclothes, Alicent decided to rest, when a servant entered the room with… Prince Joffrey crying in her arms.

"I beg your pardon for interrupting, my princess, but apparently, Prince Joffrey misses his mother," the servant said while handing Joffrey to her.

Alicent simply accepted the crying baby, too exhausted to protest with the servant. 

The moment Joffrey settled in her arms, he stopped crying.

In silence, Alicent and the baby watched as the servant left the room.

Looking down at the prince, the queen noticed that he looked just as tired as she did, so she decided to lie in bed with him, but the moment she placed the prince on the mattress, he started crying again. 

Apparently, Joffrey wanted to be held.

She began walking around the chamber, softly singing and gently caressing his brown hair, using all the tricks she knew to lull him to sleep.

After a while, Alicent realized he had finally dozed off. 

Just as she was about to place Joffrey on the bed, she heard someone enter the room.

"Alicent, where the hell were you—" Rhaenyra's voice rang out, loud and clear.

"Shhh, Joffrey is sleeping," Alicent whispered.

Rhaenyra looked down at Alicent's arms and saw her baby in a serene state.

"Pardon me, is he alright? Joffrey was supposed to be with the servants now." Rhaenyra whispered as she stepped closer. 

Looking at her son, she began running her fingers through his hair, a soft smile forming on her lips.

"He looks so calm in your arms," Rhaenyra said, her voice gentle.

Alicent doesn't answer anything.

For a moment, they remained like that—Alicent holding the baby while Rhaenyra brushed her fingers through Joffrey’s hair.

"Where were you today?" The princess asked in a low calmer tone.

"At the beach."

Rhaenyra looked at her, slightly confused, but smiling.

"And what were you doing at the beach?" She asked in an amused tone.

"I swam, attempted to build a sandcastle, and… took some time to think."

“Wait, you built a sandcastle?” Rhaenyra asked, entertained. 

“Attempted to,” Alicent answered with a small smile. 

"Were you thinking of how to reverse this problem?" Rhaenyra asked, motioning between the two of them.

Alicent was about to lie and say that—yes, she had been thinking of a way to solve this situation—when Joffrey shifted in her arms.

"I believe it's best to lay him on the bed." The queen said before gently placing Joffrey in the middle of the mattress. 

She and Rhaenyra remained in comfortable silence, watching him sleep.

"Alicent, what we—" Rhaenyra began but was interrupted by Alicent yawning.

"Seven Gods, forgive my impropriety. The day was truly exhausting," Alicent said, embarrassed.

Rhaenyra let out a small laugh. 

"Don't worry… I'll let you sleep now, we have a busy day tomorrow… Sleep well, Alicent," she said as she started to leave the room.

"Good night, Rhaenyra."

After the princess left, Alicent lay down next to Joffrey and drifted into a dreamless sleep.