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It was another lovely day in Elfhame. Cardan was seated in the soft grass, talking to Heather and Vivi, occasionally glancing at his wife, who was playing in the lake with her brother Oak. Her twin sister was sitting closer to the shore, one hand draped over her baby bump and her toes dipped into the cooling waters.
Jude was wearing a piece of clothing which the human girls had called a ‘bikini’. To Cardan, it looked exactly like her underwear, just made from a different material and apparently not the least comparable to it when it came to the mortal’s feeling of shame. Not even Heather, who wasn’t as used to the ways of the faerie realm as the others, didn’t mind him seeing her dressed in a bikini.
Jude’s was of a dark and deep green, bringing out each of her body's perfect curves and dips. Cardan himself had been talked into wearing blue swim-pants, almost the same color as the one’s Oak had gotten.
Originally, he and his wife had wanted to spend a few days in the human world, away from the hustle and bustle of the High Court. But after the recent incident, they (mostly Jude) had decided to stay closer to their home.
Heather, still nervous each time she visited, finally asked the very question he had been waiting for. “Why were you two so insistent that we come here, instead of you visiting us?”
Cardan waited, shooting Jude another look. Was it really worth causing her potential ire, for telling the girls their true reasons? He decided, yes it was, since they could use a few more watchful eyes.
“At the revel we had a few days ago, someone tried to murder Jude.”
Vivi looked at him with a worried expression, mouth agape, while Heather gasped behind clenched hands. Before he was met with more questions, he explained: “She was attacked with a knife, though the attempt itself was sloppy and badly executed. She didn’t even get grazed. The attacker was a former member of the Court of Teeth, we assume he might has more allies lying in wait.”
He thought back to that day. Jude had been standing next to one of the many banquet tables, tasting a piece of cake, when it had happened.
One guest had pulled a knife from under his coat, aiming the tip right at the Queen's heart. Jude had reacted quickly, looking almost bored. She dodged, then grabbed the guy's wrist and threw him over her shoulder and on the ground. The guards had escorted him rather roughly to a cell for interrogation.
“But…” Heather frowned, looking for the right words. “Wouldn’t you be safer in the mortal world?”
Cardan and Jude had actually argued for exactly that reason. He had thought it better to stay at Vivi’s apartment for a couple of days, until the rest of the bunch had been found and either executed or imprisoned. But his wonderful and reckless wife had insisted they stay, not wanting to leave the throne empty in such a precarious situation.
“Jude wanted us to stay.”, he simply said.
“Okay… But you should at least have guards with you. Being out here in the open like this… I can’t imagine that to be the smartest move.”
“Who said we didn’t take precautions?”
Heather looked around, clearly not spotting anyone.
“They’re hiding, obviously. The Roach and the Bomb will make sure that no threat get’s close to any of us.”
Heather opened her mouth, but got interrupted by her girlfriend. “Hey, where did Jude go?” She sounded concerned, and had gotten up abruptly.
Cardan’s head snapped towards where he had last seen his wife, playing around with Oak. They had been chasing each other around, splashing water at the other’s face.
Oak was still there, looking confused and scared at the same time, gaze locked onto a spot a few feet in front of him. Bubbles were breaching the surface there.
Fear, as cold as ice, gripped Cardan’s heart as he realized what those bubbles must mean. He was on his feet in seconds, racing towards the lake. He ignored Vivi yelling something, and Taryn, who was coaxing Oak out of the water.
He jumped in, swam to the spot with the bubbles and dove down.
Water was everywhere. Above him. Underneath him. To every side.
Just as his lungs began to protest, he spotted a shadow in the dark waters. Jude, with her eyes closed and hair floating around her head. She was sinking like a stone, drowning right in front of him.
Cardan ignored the burning sensation in his lungs and dove to her, grabbing Jude under her arms. He kicked his legs, desperately, to bring them above water again. But he was already running out of strength and air, and the surface seemed so far away.
Just when the thought of giving up entered his mind, someone grabbed him and yanked them both above the waterline. He gasped for air.
“Hold on to the lass, Your Highness, and leave the rest to me.”, said The Roach close to his ear, making Cardan realize that it was him, who had just saved their lives. And who was now dragging them towards the shore.
Cardan did as he was told, trusting the experienced spy to bring them safely back to land. His focus shifted to the woman limply hanging in his arms. He pressed her close to his chest, observing her. He couldn’t tell if her chest was moving or not.
Was she breathing?
She wasn’t breathing!
“Jude?” Her name left his lips in a soft whisper. And then again, louder and urgent, as he pressed her closer to his chest, trying to catch a glimpse of her face.
“Stop moving around!” The Roach reprimanded him, voice stern but tinged with worry. “We can check up on her far better once we get to the shore. Just… some patience, Sire.
Patience? To hell with patience. Jude was hanging limply in his arms, not a sign of life left in her. How was he supposed to be patient, when he could lose her?
That couldn't happen. He couldn't lose her. Not now, or like this, or ever. Without Jude, his life would be miserable and bleary and worth nothing.
It needed all of Cardan’s willpower to heed the request and not move. Being dragged to the shore felt like it took hours, when in truth it wasn’t even a minute. But eventually, he was lowered down on soft grass, arms still wrapped around Jude.
His grip tightend when he felt someone trying to pull her from him. His magic already reached out for the land underneath him, but he was stopped by the gruff voice of his fellow spy: “Lad, you need to let go so we can help her.”
But Cardan couldn’t. He feared that, should he let go of his love now, she would never ever return to his arms. She would disappear for good, like a speck of dust being ripped away by the wind.
“Cardan, please let go of Jude so I can help her!” That was Liliver. He looked up quickly, directly into the Pixies face.
Very reluctantly Cardan loosened his grip. He watched as The Roach pulled her away, lowering her down on the ground. He watched as The Bomb checked her vitals, worry deeply etched onto her face. She was talking to her partner, lips clearly moving but for some odd reason Cardan was unable to understand her words. Everything felt far away from where he was sitting. All he could really focus on was Jude’s unmoving form in front of him.
Then The Roach put both hands on top of Jude’s chest and started to press down in a rhythm. Again and again and again. Liliver moved towards the human woman’s head, silently counting before, after a certain number it seemed, she leaned down and pressed her mouth to Jude’s, blowing air into her lungs.
Cardan felt cold. Incredibly cold. His own breaths came in short, ragged bursts and he was gripping tufts of grass, ripping them out unintentionally.
All he wanted to do was to lunge forth and help in some way or form, even though deep down he knew that he would only get into their way. But he got hold back by two sets of arms.
The one on his left was Taryn and he could barely stand looking at her tear-stained face pressing against his biceps. He never had a problem telling her and his wife apart, but there were certain moments where the alikeness of their faces made him feel unwell. Like when she had used her magic earrings and his poisoned state to trick him. Or when Jude had been in banishment and he had to see her sister in the throne room, dancing and laughing and looking just a little too similar to the woman he loved and missed.
Vivi was on his other side, clutching at his arm so tightly it almost hurt. She was biting her lips, gaze glued to her younger sister.
He didn’t know where Oak was, but certainly Heather was taking good care of the youngest sibling at the moment.
Finally, after an eternity, The Bomb turned Jude onto her side. The Queen started coughing, spitting out a huge amount of water and gasped for air.
This time when Cardan moved, no one dared stopping him. He halted in front of Jude’s convulsing body, placing one hand gently on her back and using the other to brush through her hair until she was done coughing.
After a heartbeat or two, Jude lifted her head, looking directly at him. She seemed tired and a little confused. “Why… Why are you so wet?”, was the first thing she croaked out.
Cardan stopped stroking her hair, taking her hand into his instead. Her skin felt cold, clammy. He pressed a chaste kiss to her knuckles, before whispering for only her rounded ears to hear: “You’re the worst, my sweetest nemesis, for scaring me like this.”
Jude still seemed confused. She blinked slowly, asking: “What happened? I remember me and Oak playing and then…” She fell silent, looking like she had just bitten into something extremely bitter.
Cardan squeezed her hand. “I would love to know that as well.” His gaze traveled back to the waters, feeling a sudden distaste for the place growing inside him. “You were drowning. I nearly lost you.”
He turned to his Court of Shadows, furrowing a brow. “Did you see anyone near the lake? Was this another assassination attempt?” That must be it right? Another failed attempt at Judes life. What else could it have been?
But to his surprise Van shook his head.”We would have spotted anyone who could have tried to get close to the lake.”
“What if they were already in the lake?” He pulled Jude closer by sheer instinct. She was still a bit out of it, just melting into his side. It worried Cardan, but at the same time, being able to hold her like this soothed him.
It was Heather who answered, from somewhere behind him. “I think I know what happened.”
The King looked at her over his shoulder, watching as she came closer with two soft towels in her hands. He took one of them from her to dry off Jude’s hair, not complaining when Heather just did the same with him.
“What do you mean by that?”
Heather thought about her words for a second. “So, Jude and Oak were playing around, obviously. Oak thought it could be funny if he pulled Jude underwater. But when he came up again, she didn’t. Like she had forgotten to swim. At least, that’s what he told me.”
Jude? Forgotten how to swim? That just sounded absurd.
“She’s right, that’s what happened.” Jude admitted, teeth clattering a little.
Cardan looked down at her, taking in the embarrassed flush on her cheeks and how she desperately avoided his gaze. There was more to the story, he was sure of it. “What do you-”
“Can we talk later? When we’re alone.”, she asked, and he heeded that request.
The journey back to the palace was a quiet one. They had took a carriage, mostly to hide how shaken the King and Queen still felt from prying eyes, but also because Cardan wanted her to rest.
They were sitting on one side of the carriage, holding hands. Jude was looking out the window, at the trees they were passing, deeply in thought. The other’s had somehow managed to squeeze together on the other bench, with Oak sitting on Vivi’s lap. The boy had profusely started to apologize the second they had started the ride home. And even if Cardan had wanted to be angry at the child, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. It was all to clear that Oak had meant Jude no harm.
(In the strangest moments, it came to Cardan’s attention that Oak wasn’t actually sharing any blood with Jude, not even with Vivi. In truth, he was more closely related with Cardan himself. He hated to dwell on that though, because it meant thinking about Dain as well.)
Once they had arrived at the palace, he and Jude quickly went to their rooms. While she changed into some fresh clothes, Cardan told the guards keeping watch not to let anyone disturb them for the remainder of the day.
He returned to his wife’s side, who was wearing one of his more plain shirts and some soft pants from the human realm.
“Now, would you be so kind as to tell me what happened?”, he asked her, picking out something else to wear for himself too.
Jude sat down on the edge of the bed, legs drawn close to her chest. She watched him, while he undressed, her eyes traveling over his back, committing every scar there to her memory. She had never asked him how he got any of them. Somehow though, he was sure that she knew.
Just as he pulled a shirt over his head, one that they had gotten from a human shop, she said: “It’s exactly like Heather said. Oak and I were playing, he pulled me under the water and I didn’t get back up.”
That was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted the truth. “Yes, but you’re a decent swimmer. Don’t keep such things from me, Jude. Tell me what happened, what truly happened, or I’ll never let you near water again.”
Her face scrunched up, but she didn’t lie her way out of it this time. “I didn’t expect it, okay. One moment, everything was fine and the next, I’m under water. It was everywhere, flooding my lungs and… I thought I was there again.”
She didn’t need to specify. He understood that with there she meant the undersea.
They hadn’t talked about that dreadful month. There had been a comment or two shortly after she had returned to him, but other than that they had just avoided the topic. Maybe they should change that.
“You’re fine putting your head underwater in the bath. So I guess your… reaction… was it due to unpreparedness?”
Jude brushed a hand through her brown locks. She let out a puff of air. “I can’t allow myself to be weak or pathetic like this. I’m the Queen! I’m supposed to-”
He interrupted her frustrated outburst, sternly and maybe a bit harsher than necessary. “You were with friends. With family. You don’t need to hide behind your walls with them Jude. With me!”
She shot him a glare, tears brimming in her eyes. They were born from anger, about herself and maybe a little about him and his words. He half expected her to lash out, show her thorns, but then her shoulders sagged and she sighed again, growing calmer.
“It’s not easy for me to let these walls down. Keeping them up is what kept me alive for many years.”
Cardan sat down at her side, taking her hand into his. His thumb brushed over her soft skin in a soothing manner. “I get that. I didn’t before, but I do now. Being a mortal in the faerie realm must have been scary at times. But you’re not alone. You can always count on your siblings, and Heather, and the Court of Shadows. You can count on me!”
Jude’s shoulder bumped into his. “You’re right. I’m trying to rely more on all of you. I just fear I’m not very good at showing when I’m feeling vulnerable.”
He leaned closer, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder, where his shirt had slipped down a little. “One piece at a time, remember.”
His Queen remained silent for a moment. Then she gently shoved his face away. “I remember.” She stood up fluently and started to pace through the room. “Go ahead. Ask me. You must be dying to know. “
Cardan frowned. He was, but he didn’t want to push her. “I won’t force you to talk about it.”
“But you want to hear it, right?”, she challenged, not looking in his direction. Her left hand was rubbing over her right arm.
“Yes, I want to hear it all. But I care more about you being comfortable, then me knowing what happened all these moons ago. I won’t force you to recall any of it. Though I do ask you to confide in me, should you feel ready to do so.”
She turned around, staring at him. “I hate you.”
He grinned at her, broadly. “I know.”
With an exaggerated sigh she returned to him and sat down. Her arms were crossed over her chest, a defying look on her face. He preferred seeing her that way, compared to the dejected face she had on before.
“I thought of you.”, she began slowly. “A lot, actually, while I was in the Undersea. It calmed me and gave me hope, but at the same time I found it infuriating and disgusting. I thought about you kissing me again. About what could have been, had I not denied still thinking about our night together. I kept thinking of you . I missed you, in a way, but I was also angry with you. I wondered if you were glad that I had gotten taken.”
“There was never a moment in time where I was glad over your captivity.” Cardan looked at her, intensely, wanting her to understand just how true these words were. Him being unable to lie at all should have been proof enough, of course, but Jude had an annoying tendency to forget about that whenever it suited her best.
Now it was Jude who took his hands. She squeezed them lightly, before continuing: “They starved me. Not because it was their intention, I believe, but simply because they forgot that humans require regular meals. They gave me salt water to drink. They also beat me. When they put a glamour on me, I had to pretend that it actually worked, so I wouldn’t lose the only advantage I had on them. But it got harder and harder the more time passed.”
Cardan had pulled her closer, lifting her into his lap and resting her head against his chest. His arms had sneaked around her form, holding her.
“Balekin ordered me to kiss him.”, she eventually admitted quietly.
Cardan stiffened. “He did what?!” Anger and disbelief laced his words.
Jude squirmed, clearly reluctant to say more. He wouldn’t pressure her, like he had said before, but he hoped she wouldn’t end the conversation now. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise, being haunted by the thoughts of his brother laying hands on Jude.
“He wanted me to kiss him as if it was you. And since he thought me to be glamoured, I had to go along with it.”
Cardan’s fingers pressed into her flesh, possessive but not hard enough to hurt. He was angry, incredibly so. “Asshole…”, he breathed out, using one of the mortal words he had heard Heather throw at a rude guy once.
Jude couldn’t help but snort. “He was an asshole, wasn’t he? In more than one way.”
Her head moved and he came to realize that she was looking up at him.
“I don’t regret killing him. He did truly awful things to the both of us.” Cardan had to agree with that statement, though he wondered if she meant more than just Balekin’s attempt at poisoning him. He never told her about the lashings he had received at Hollow Hall. Or all the taunting. But Jude was smart. Maybe she had found out all by herself.
“I do regret not adhering to your request though. Even though I believe he deserved it, he was still your last living family member. And you didn’t want him dead.”
Cardan brushed a strand of hair behind her round ears. His fingertip lingered on the curve for a second, admiring the beauty of her mortal features. Then he said, a bit unsure whether or not his tongue would let the words form: “I was angry at first, when I learned about you killing him. But I’m not anymore. I stopped being angry almost immediately, because I realized that he most likely didn’t leave you any other choice.”
Jude hummed but wouldn’t say anything.
“Balekin’s downfall was brought upon by no one but himself. He started that when he murdered our family. It was just a question of time, before fate would catch up with him.”
He took her face gently into his hands, pressing a long kiss to her lips. Her arms wandered around his neck and they stayed interlocked like this for a while. Only when they had run out of air, did they loosen their grip on the other.
“I could never stay angry at you for long, for doing the things that bring you back into my arms.”, he whispered into her hair.
The rest of the day had been spent exchanging kisses and sweet nothings. Eventually, Jude had fallen asleep, and Cardan found himself content watching over his Queen.
Though he did end up slipping out of bed, leaving their bedroom on silent feet.
He made his way to the room Vivi and the other’s stayed at during their visits, which wasn’t all that far away from the royal chambers. He knocked and entered shortly after hearing a soft “Come in.” from one of the girls.
They were in their sleepwear, with Vivi and Taryn sitting on one bed, Oak and Heather on another. The young boy made a point of not looking in Cardan’s direction the second he had walked in.
“Oh, I didn’t expect it to be you.”, said Vivi, sounding genuinely surprised. “I thought it would be the servant with our tea.”
“I hate disappointing the lady’s.”, he attempted to joke, but his gaze was glued to Oak, who still acted like the King wasn’t there.
“I need to say something to Oak.”, he quickly explained his presence, noticing the way the child tensed and swallowed hard.
Heather and Vivi exchanged a look, while Taryn moved closer to her younger brother, one hand outstretched for the boy, the other placed on her stomach. It was Heather, who spoke up first: “Is this about what happened today? Cardan, it was an accident. Oak didn’t mean to cause Jude harm.”
“I… I already apologized!” Oak defended himself, chin held high.
Cardan took a step closer, not missing the way it caused everybody to stiffen up. He may be their friend and their sister's husband now, but most of the people present still remembered the cruelty he was able to inflict if he wanted. “I’m not here for another apology. And I’m aware that it was an accident. I only want to tell Oak that I know he didn’t mean to hurt Jude.”
Cardan breathed in and out, looking directly at the boy. “I don’t blame you. But I have to ask you to refrain from pulling Jude underwater ever again. Especially should she be unaware of you planning to do so. Understood?”
Oak nodded quickly, before following up with a question: “Why didn’t she come back up?”
Cardan thought about his answer for a moment. “Jude is not exactly fond of diving anymore. She had an unpleasant experience with that once and sometimes those things leave their marks. Suddenly being pulled under reminded her of that experience and that’s why she wasn’t able to come back up again, like she normally would.”
He let the words hang in the air for a moment. “You see why it is important, not to do that to her anymore?”
He could tell the boy was thinking hard about it. Until he nodded and said: “Yes, I understand now. I won’t do it again.”
“Good. That’s all.” Cardan ruffled the kid’s hair affectionately, exchanged a knowing look with Vivi and left to return to his own rooms.
He slipped back under the warm sheets, settling in next to his wife once more. Who stirred at his sudden return. “Mh… Where did you go?”
“Reassuring someone.”
Tiredly, Jude hummed, definitely caring more about her sleep than his escapade. Though she did whisper: “No more sneaking out…”
He placed a kiss on the crown of her hair. “I won’t move another inch until the night is over, sweetest poison.”