Chapter Text
Silence.
It was one of those rare, tranquil nights where the whole world seemed to be at peace. The dark sky was illuminated by millions of tiny diamonds. And truth be told, Jimin would have loved to spend the evening stargazing if it wasn’t for the whirlpool of anger and frustration he was desperate to dissipate.
“So, do you want to start talking,” A sudden voice taut with irritation echoed through the cold night, “Or should I?”
Jimin tore his gaze from the floor to meet the eyes of a certain dark-haired male leaning against the door frame. The one who he loved with all his heart could offer, the one who he hoped felt the same for him.
Jeon Jungkook.
The room was dark, but the dim ray of light through the window was sufficient for Jimin to see the contorted expression the younger had plastered on. It was such a shame he couldn’t kiss the frown away from Jungkook, given the supposing cold war they were having.
The moment Jimin’s sight landed on the maknae of BTS, he realised just how far they’ve come from the day they first met. The days passed were so great in number that he had long lost count. But every time he saw Jungkook’s smile, it was as if time reverted back to the very beginning and Jimin found himself smiling too. It’s funny how they were both so much younger, so much more vibrant and filled with life then.
And now, they were both falling apart.
“What’s there to say?” Jimin whispered as he unconsciously tightened his balled fists.
Jungkook surveyed his fellow band mate before him, trying to figure out just why they both felt like strangers now. Excelling in many aspects earned him the title as the "Golden Maknae", but understanding other's emotions wasn't exactly his forte and it frustrated him. Because though he may never admit it, he too wants to be closer and more affectionate with Jimin.
Jungkook gave a soft sigh before taking small steps forward, “Explaining why you’ve flat out ignored me for a month would be great.”
“I did not.”
“You did.”
Jimin lets out a dry, humourless laugh. “And what exactly makes you say so?”
There was a pause and seconds ticked by before a response was heard.
“Maybe because I stopped feeling your love, Jimin.”
Jungkook came to a halt a few feet away from the older male, closing the distance between them. But it wasn’t enough for Jimin. Jungkook would never be as close as Jimin longed for him to be, no matter how many miracles he had prayed for.
“I’m tired, Jungkook.” Jimin closed his eyes, and savoured the bitter taste of the younger’s name which was once sweet. “I don’t think I can continue doing this any longer.”
How long were they going to continue with this game of tug and release?
Jimin was weary, but Jungkook on the other hand, could not hide the shock which so evidently stained his beautiful features.
“What are you talking about?” His voice strained through gritted teeth.
It had been a demanding day for Jungkook at practice, and receiving a harsh lecture from the manager only added to his fatigue. To top it all off, his hyung did not make much sense to him at the moment. Somehow he had hoped Jimin would be there to hug him, to rub his back in comforting motions and shower him with affection like always.
Instead, Jimin chose to avoid any sort of physical confrontation with him, only sending Taehyung to bring Jungkook a box of his favourite doughnuts. What was supposed to comfort Jungkook only made him more pissed, as Jimin’s act reminded him that they weren’t on speaking terms for reasons yet to be known.
“I’m tired of chasing you around.” Jimin stared at the taller male before him with an unwavering gaze, which made Jungkook forget how to breathe.
Jimin wanted to be strong, but his quivering lips weren’t of much help.
“Im tired of having to pretend I’m alright when I’m not.” He continued before Jungkook could find an opportunity to interrupt.
“I’m tired of laughing when your actions hurt me.”
Jimin recalled the way Jungkook’s obvious rejections made his heart clench, before he remembered that the cameras were rolling and a fake smile does the job of hiding the pain.
“I’m tired of having you reminding me that I am not good enough.”
Jimin hated the way Jungkook ranked him 7th in looks. Though he knew the younger was merely joking, it would be a lie to say it didn’t bother him. After all, the one person he wished would think of him as the most attractive feels the complete opposite.
Upon hearing all this, Jungkook finds himself utterly speechless and dumbfounded. He felt his mouth gap wide, but no words were formed and he desperately racked his brain for the right ones. The silence between them reminded him of how terrible he was with words. For Jimin, it reminded him of all the tears he shed in pain alone.
“H-hyung,” Slowly, almost hesitantly, Jungkook resorted to reaching forward to touch the frail, broken pieces of Jimin.
Jimin would have given in and buried himself in the younger male’s embrace, if the burning ache in his heart wasn’t there to prevent him from doing so. He didn't want to end up with even more pain. With a heavy heart, he stepped backwards and avoided Jungkook’s touch for the first time in his life.
Because above all, silence was the one thing Park Jimin hated the most.
“I’m tired of not being happy.”
Ignoring the near desperate pleads Jungkook was silently screaming with his eyes, Jimin mustered every last bit of strength and courage left, to slowly utter the words he never thought he would come to say.
“And I’m tired of loving you.”
[ TO BE CONTINUED ]