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Jeongguk shuffles on his seat as he reaches for his cup of im-eighteen-but-my-friends-doesnt-give-me-alcohol-while-most-of-them-chugs-on-beer-while-im-stuck-with-soda.
He doesn't regret ever coming to this farewell party for Seokjin and Yoongi who are going to Seoul for college. Because, well... he's outside the club with Namjoon now after twelve minutes. Namjoon getting his motorbike ready to give Jeongguk a ride.
Coz Namjoon was the one who sweet talked Jeongguk's protective mom to permit Jeongguk to come with the group for a small, supposedly "no-alcohol" party. And promised mrs. Jeon to send home her baby Jeon safe and sound at exactly ten in the evening by himself.
So here they are. A completely sober Namjoon and a paranoid Jeongguk who can't keep still and kept on tapping his foot on the concrete floor. "Will you be calm?" Says Namjoon, eyeing the younger with a small smile on his lips. "I did not drink a single drop, okay? We'll be safe. This isn't drunk driving, the least." Jeongguk just responds with an unconvinced nod.
It's not even because whether or not Namjoon's drunk that Jeongguk can't keep his butt still. Or even the numerous stories he heard about Namjoon's careful-driving-but-somehow-got-into-an-accident (well, a bit).
Basically what Jeongguk is so paranoid of is being alone with Namjoon--the guy he likes. And it's not helping that the said guy is entrapping Jeongguk into an embrace right now just so the younger would feel reassured. It's not fucking helping.
Namjoon starts the engine of his motorbike and motions Jeongguk to ride on. Once ready, Namjoon ushered the younger to hold onto the side of his waist. Jeongguk did not comply, instead he just grabs a handful of Namjoon's shirt. The older frowns for a second and then tugs one of Jeongguk-the-virgin's hand off his shirt and lays them on his waist.
"You'll crumple my shirt, Kookie." Namjoon chuckles and gosh that chuckle could choke Jeongguk one day. Who knows. They just sound so rich and delicious. And Jeongguk felt his own stomach turning. He could feel Namjoon's abs through his shirt and he just felt that same chuckle vibrates through Namjoon's body against his own hand.
Thank you Mama Jeon for allowing me to feel this grace, Jeongguk thought.
"If you're not comfortable then hold onto my shoulders." Namjoon suggests and he felt so genius with the idea he came up with. The best. "Hold on tight so you won't fall off."
Jeongguk immediately transfers his sweaty palms on Namjoon's shoulders as soon as the older starts to drive. “Please don’t drive too fast. I want to live longer.” Was all Jeongguk says which Namjoon replied with a teasing “I’ll try.”
Namjoon was saying something Jeongguk did not comprehend so he leaned his head on Namjoon's shoulder, regretting and celebrating the moment he did it. Coz he can fucking hear his own heart beating like a fucking snare drum. Namjoon is so close and Jeongguk swears he feels dizzy and intoxicated right now even if he did not even drink a spoonful of i-can-cause-liver-cancer liquid. Just the mere scent of Namjoon sends him flying somewhere in cloud nine.
“Eh?” The older chuckles once again and frees something along ‘Jeongguk’ and ‘not listening’.
“I said, I got into an accident six months ago. With my previous motorbike.” Namjoon repeats as if it was just nothing. Jeongguk gasps in shock, of course. “It wasn’t something that fatal. Just had my left arm scraped up pretty badly from protecting my face haha. And I got some on my knees as well.” He just said it so casually like he has accepted this fate. “My favorite black skinny jeans earned itself an upgrade. Effortless ripped jeans.” They both laughed.
“Did it not hurt?” Dumb Jeongguk, he tells himself. Of course it did. But just to keep this conversation rolling he has to spit dumbshits.
“Of course it did. I’m no superman but it was pretty awesome, nonetheless. I kind of got thrown away.”
“But you’re okay now and that’s what matters.” Jeongguk whispers but since his head is practically next to Namjoon’s, of course the latter heard it. Nodding a little bit with a hum. “I’ve been telling you since day zero to drive carefully. You’re not some kind of racer, okay?”
They both kept silent after that. Jeongguk sat back relaxed, feeling the chilly night breeze against his skin. His left hand on the latched handle attached on the rear part of the bike. His right hand laying still on Namjoon’s nice shoulder.
A little less than five minutes and they arrived outside of Jeongguk’s house. They bid goodbye with each other with a smile. Though Jeongguk is a bit melancholic towards the parting, he still smiled until Namjoon’s out of his sight.
He heaved a heavy sigh as he walks into his house with a thought that, maybe, someday he’ll be able to confess these bottled feelings.