Chapter Text
Broken glass is scattered around a puddle of water on the floor, a table is laying sideways, one of my awards has fallen down from the shelf, a kitchen knife is stuck in a wooden cutting board, and I'm sitting on the floor with my back against the wall, massaging my temples and sniffling.
- Weekly Weekes is with you again! - the host said after the ad break was over.
I keep sitting on the floor, afraid of what else this show can bring to the table. I don't want to wreak more havoc.
- Let's check on this week's guest, - the host suggested, and the camera stopped on his face, such a familiar face, the sight of which tears my insides apart. - What are you performing today, Yeosang?
I chuckled maniacally, looking at the things I knocked over after seeing his interview, unable to deal with my emotions.
- Um, it's a song from my latest album, - he replied, smiling. - I'm sure you all know it well...
He's trying so hard! Look at him go!
His voice is still as low and velvety as back then, and it hurts.
- Hey, - I said into the phone, - are you free right now?
- What is it, Woo? - Joong asked with a sigh.
- Have you seen him? - I sound desperate. - He's on the same American show I was last week!
- Who, Yeo? - Joong guessed right away. - I have to watch it...
- He's showing a cute little heart with his fingers in the YouTube thumbnail, - I chuckled. - Why is he...why is he always doing the same things I'm doing?! Why does he need to repeat everything I do?!
- He's probably always been jealous of you, - I can barely hear his voice due to a heavy traffic.
2005
I know I piss him off.
- Want me to curl your hair? - I suggest, seeing him with a curling iron in front of the vanity mirror. There's only an hour left until the show, and everyone is preparing.
Seonghwa ran out of the dressing room to urgently look for an iron, leaving him and I alone.
- Is it a subtle way to leave a burn on my face? - he chuckled but sat down on a chair, looking up at me.
- Your face is too pretty for it, - I argued, touching his chin, and took a curling iron out of his relaxed hand.
He also enjoys our little games.
I piss him off because he thinks I'm a show-off but due to the chemistry between us we have learned to blow off steam quite well. Finally, we are groupmates and should always be ready to hold out a helping hand to each other.
- I think I've met a sponsor, - I revealed, slowly twisting his red hair into the curling iron and feeling his breath on my chest. - He might finance our next tour. And I'll have a solo photoshoot, that's for sure.
Yeo is nodding silently.
- Of course, - he's skeptical, as always.
- What, are you envious? - I chuckled, twisting another strand of his hair onto the curling iron. - Or jealous?
- I just won't believe it until I see it, - Yeo argued. - We'll wait and see.
- You'll be the first one to see, - I assured him. - I promise.
- I can't wait, - Yeo said sarcastically with a smirk. - I won't really be surprised.
- Why? - I smiled. - I'll take it as a compliment anyway.
- You're kind of an upstart, - Yeo shrugged. - You always get what you want somehow.
- Maybe, I am, - I smiled and pressed the last strand of his hair against the curling iron. He smiled back.
- Guys, come on, get dressed! - Joong peeked in.
- I only have to iron my shirt real quick! - Seonghwa ran into the dressing room with an iron. - Oh, am I interrupting something?
- No, you aren't, - I said and put the curling iron in front of the mirror. - We're done.
2025
- He said that...he said... - I muttered, rubbing my face with my hand.
- What? - Joong asked.
He said that he regretted doing some things and not doing other things, that he regretted losing touch with some important people in his life...
- Nevermind, - I shook my head. - I'd focus on my own career instead.
- That's right, - Joong praised me.
- Do you think he's doing it on purpose? - I asked after a pause. - To provoke me?
It would mean he cares about me...
- Um... - Joong is ready to break my illusions but he is too polite and diplomatic to do it directly. - Maybe, it's just a coincidence. It's a popular American show...
- Yeah, but one week later! - I exclaimed. - What were the odds!
I heard a quiet sigh on the other end.
- Alright, Joong, thanks to listening to my rant, - I said dryly. - See ya.
- The anniversary party is next week, by the way, - Joong reminded me. - Are you ready?
- Can't believe our Pheromone is so old already, - I smiled fondly.
- Yeah, it made me the producer I am today... - Joong confessed. - Being a junior rookie producer was hard but it was worth it.
- Are senior ones coming too? - I wondered.
- Of course they are, - Joong snickered. - They'll feel like the kings of the whole thing, like they own it! Like it was them who was surviving on ramen and three hours of sleep during tours.
Shivers ran down my spine.
- They've already sent the invitations, - Joong added. - Check your mailbox.
- A real one? - I chuckled. - What century is it?
- It's just a formality, - Joong explained.
- Okay, man, see ya, - I repeated.
- See ya, - Joong replied and hung up.
- This was Yeosang, another alumnus of the 2000's Pheromone boy group who has a successful solo career fifteen years after the group disbanded, - the host said to the sound of applause in the background, and Yeo made a heart with the fingers of both hands.
"Another alumnus"...
Seeing him is poignant but not seeing him at all is even worse.
I turned off the TV and got up with a heavy sigh. I have work to do and places to be.
xXx
2005
I feel the smooth fabric of the rope slide on my skin, getting tighter and tighter with every knot.
Even though our group is only flying to Japan in a month, we are too impatient and decided to already delve into the Japanese art. Yeo is silent, as if tying these knots all over my body helps him calm his nerves. Maybe, that's the case. I don't mind as long as he feels good.
- Ah, shit! - I grunt, smiling, and press my forehead against the pillow after Yeo pulled the rope just right.
I wouldn't mind him being a little rough with me but is always gentle. Our nighttime encounters seem more like his little hobby, if not a chore.
I feel his fingers slide under the rope on my back, and I let a warm pleasant feeling wash over me. I wish it never ended, and I stayed tied up in his bed forever.
- It's not too tight, is it? - he asked quietly.
- No, it's perfect, - I replied with a smile, swaying my hips playfully and trembling a little to seduce him.
He teased me again, like he always does, rubbing my skin and watching me quiver for a while until I was ready to beg. But I'm being patient. I've learned it from him.
Instead of fucking me he proceeded to eat me out and then untie me, slowly and carefully, while I was breathing heavily.
- You're not in a mood today, are you? - I asked and lit up a cigarette as he put the rope on the bedside table.
- Why? - Yeo furrowed his eyebrows and opened his new Samsung flip phone with a flickering blue light we were given by our sponsor. - Did I do something wrong?
- No, no, it was great! - I assured him, widening my eyes to look more convincing. - It's just...it seems to me something is bothering you. I don't know why...
Yeo sighed, closing his phone dramatically.
- They're telling me to dance more and sing less, - he confessed. I feel honored that he is trusting me more and more. - I'm glad they value my dancing but...I dreamt to be a singer.
But they're giving most lines to me.
- I'm afraid I'll never be able to sing... - Yeo said quietly. - And I'm afraid to forever remain "the redhead from Pheromone". But so far it's all I have so I have to stick to it.
- Of course you won't! - I assured him. - We have a whole life ahead of us. We're so young.
There is sadness in his eyes.
- It's easy for me to say, I know, - I chuckled. - I can ask producers to give you more lines...
- No, please, let's not! - Yeo rolled his eyes. - I don't want it that way. I want to do it myself.
He's proud. Cold and proud.
- You know, I just want to stand still and just sing, - he confessed. - Not to move at all, not to dance. Just sing. So that the only thing people can judge me by and admire is my voice...
I nodded, scared to touch him. He tends to avoid my touch when we are not in bed.
- I sing a lot but they still judge me by many other things, - I said. - But I get you.
- I wish I sang as much as you, - Yeo said, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back turned to me. - And as well as you.
- You sing very well, - I said, drawing a line down his spine with my finger. Yeo shivered but didn't turn his head.
- It's ironic that of all people you're the only person to say this to me, - he noted.
- Why is it ironic? - I wondered.
He shrugged. I think I know the answer. He probably still thinks I'm a snake who he shouldn't share his real feelings with.
- We gotta sleep, - Yeo said, lying down under the blanket. - The bus departs at seven.
- Don't you mind that I'm staying here? - I whispered, admiring his red curls and his sleepy face.
- Why would I? - he muttered and yawned. - I'm used to it.
- Aren't you afraid of the snake in your bed? - I chuckled.
- What? - Yeo frowned. - I don't care. You would've already killed me if you could.
- Good night, - I said, chuckling.
Yeo let out a tired little "m-hm". I opened my phone to check the time and my SMS.
- Texting your sponsor? - Yeo muttered with his eyes closed and a smile on his face. I smiled even broader.
- Each and every one of them, - I joked, and Yeo sighed, pulling the blanket closer to his face.
2025
- I want this one, - I said confidently, pointing at a costume in a catalogue a producer of the Masked Singer had given me.
- Sorry, this one is already taken, - the woman with a phone in her hand informed me with a polite smile. - It's marked with a red sticker.
I keep looking at the costume of a spider anyway. A corset with red crystals forming patterns all over it, a long transparent skirt and eight long black legs which make this mask even more elegant and intimidating at the same time. This is exactly what I was looking for - a pretty female costume which would allow me to fool everyone. My voice is high enough to imitate a female one.
I turned the page but hesitated and went back several times. The spider just wouldn't let me go.
- Wo-o-ow... - I muttered, amazed, looking at a costume of a snake. - And this one?
- It's still free, - the woman smiled.
- I'll take it, - I said with no hesitation. - Put a red sticker with my name on it.
I left the studio right after, agreeing to come back the next day for the first rehearsal, and returned home with a strong desire to start the bottle of whiskey Joong gave me as a birthday present.
Oh, right, an invitation!
After rummaging through my mailbox for some time and cursing the postmen who left a ton of spam brochures there, I finally found the invitation and was headed home, pleased with myself and ready to celebrate my little win. However, I noticed something else lying on the ground.
Upon opening an envelope, I pulled out a note.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
No...
It can't be...
Not now...