Chapter Text
He runs, because it’s the only thing he comes up with.
His feet thump against the wet ground, his arms swipe at drooping leaves. At one point, he has to smear his hand across the glass of his exopack to get rid of the water. His heart’s like a big massive war drum in his ears. Someone could be screaming for him and he wouldn’t hear it.
He ignores the cold rain against his shoulders and chest, and hops over a protruding root.
His chest is heaving weirdly. And his nose is, annoyingly, stuffed. He must be crying, but he can’t hear it. His cheeks are cold from dried tears, but more work their way past his eyelashes and turn the forest around him into a smear of green and brown.
He knows these trees better than any of the science guys back ho– back in…Hell’s Gate. He was raised here. He knows exactly where to put his feet, what patches of ground to avoid, what branches to use to climb higher and which will send him straight back down again.
But his own emotions have it out for him. Through his tears, he doesn’t notice the wet bit of moss until his heel digs into it.
His body jolts, and tips forward so suddenly that he has barely enough time to lift his arms. Protecting his mask as he slips sideways.
His shoulder and hip bang against the ground, and his head bounces hard enough to rattle his brain against his skull.
He doesn’t even roll when he lands, just stays on his side, a little surprised at his own clumsiness. He should be getting up by now and brushing himself down. But he can’t; something in him finds it really comfy down here in the cold mud.
He needs to keep going.
Norm’s rolled down a hill and came out laughing, why is this tiny trip up making him want to sink further into the ground? Why is he crying? It’s not like he’s broken anything so why–
Spider sniffles, and digs the edge of his mask into the ground. More tears spill over his cheeks, and his lip itches. But his hands only twitch, his shoulder and hip throbbing weakly. He can’t wipe his face, he can’t push himself up. He can’t do anything.
There’s a reason he needs to keep going, he knows there is. But everything’s so jumbled and confused, and he just really wants to stay here. Why is he running in the first place? He has no idea. Something happened, that’s all he can remember.
At least, right now. Maybe he’ll think about it again when he feels a bit more…human.
At some point, seconds, minutes, maybe hours later, Spider feels the cold begin to get a bit much for him to handle. He’s shivering, teeth clacking violently. The outside of his mask is as wet as the inside, and through his hitching, tiny breaths, he makes out the plink plink plink of falling rain.
He can remember, kinda, Max talking about these sort of sudden rains that fell in patches of forest. It was during one of their lessons, when Spider hadn’t been able to concentrate on Norm’s stupid maths questions, but was fascinated by the bits of information Max had on the world outside.
They can come quick and fast, these showers. And can sometimes be destructive. If there’s a river nearby, it can add to the water, make it break free from its path and flood the forest around it.
And Spider has no idea when the rain started. A river could be coming for him right now.
He’s only small, even a tiny flood could drag him away. The idea of being swept up makes him cry a bit harder. He tries to get his hand to push himself up, but it just flops against the ground.
Wouldn’t Kiri be sad if he went missing? He was meant to go with her and Neteyam to the Pa’li fields tomorrow. Without him as a buffer, they’ll bicker and fight until one of the warriors sends them away.
And Max was gonna show him which foods he could eat with them, and which to avoid. So he could stay for supper.
His neck is all stiff when he moves it to look for shelter. He has options; the underbrush of a bush, or that hollow in that tree which looks cosy…
He manages to get himself upright and stumbles over to the tree. He falls once, because his hip shouts at him about going too quickly, but manages to get himself into the trunk before the rain gets so loud it sounds like a raging river already.
He can’t stand in his little hollow, but it’s just big enough for him to sit, drawing his knees to his chest and pushing back from the entrance. It’s dry, and kinda cosy. But his body still shakes with cold. He’ll need to head back soon if he doesn’t want to get sick…
No one would be able to take care of him. Mary’s stomach is beginning to get so big she’s not able to see her toes. Norm’s not really the caring type, and Max is always too busy. So it would just be Spider, locked in his room for days with nothing to interest him and no one to keep him company.
And Nash…
He shies away from that thought. He’s never really gone to his foster father for anything like that. Not when he sometimes looks at Spider like he’s annoying. Or like a bit of mud stuck to his boot.
He’ll wait for the rain to lessen, and then maybe he’ll try and find his way to Hometree. He could ask Mo’at for a small bit of medicine in exchange for mashing the plants and herbs that are brought in daily. He could sit next to the fire pit as he works, warm up a little, and then head back hom– to Hell’s Gate from there.
His mood brightens at the idea, but shuffling over to the hole in his hideaway, his heart sinks at the unfamiliarity of the trees around him.
He might not even be able to find Hometree at this point. He might be stuck here, until he’s found, or he goes hungry, or an animal finds him and decides he’d be a good snack.
With a distant curiosity, Spider notices his fingers are now trembling. And not from the cold. His heart thumps against his chest; he’s gasping, loudly, and one hand scrabbles against his ribcage to keep everything from escaping. His other hand he brings to his head, and gives his hair a sharp tug.
“Ow,” he whimpers, and pulls his hand away again. His eyes widen, and he turns his arm one way then the other.
Around his wrist, nearly invisible through the gloom, a bruise spreads. It’s large, purple, and - if Spider squints - looks like a hand. He flexes it, and hisses at the dull pain that follows.
It feels recent, but everything before his mad dash in the forest is so fuzzy that he can’t remember when he’d got it. It makes him feel a bit sick though, like he’s missing something big.
With his free hand, he presses his own fingers against the imprint, but they’re too small. The bruises are adult size. They’re thin like Norm’s.
And for a second, something clicks. He hears a voice in his head, but he can’t work out what it’s saying. It’s like Spider’s underwater, and the voice is speaking above him. It’s familiar in the way it makes Spider clutch his hand to his chest, and worries if he’s done something really wrong.
His wrist twinges, Spider blinks, and the bruise is covered by a hand. Pale, with thin, scientist fingers. Soft and callous free, but strong enough to yank Spider along behind them.
He blinks again, and the hand disappears but it’s enough. He shivers again, and ducks his head and hands into his chest.
He’d been running in the lab again. Bored out of his skin from having to stay inside due to the rains and desperately wanting something to do. He’d grabbed the first datapad he’d spotted and hurried off to download an old video game from Earth or hunker down to watch the endless amounts of TV shows the residents of Hell’s Gate update every week.
In his rush, because Norm and Max had been coming back from a lab session, he hadn’t noticed who’s pad he’d taken. Not until ten minutes through his episode, when Nash McCosker had started demanding to know who’d grabbed his datapad.
Spider knows Nash’s temper and mood can be a bit tricky, but today he’d been really grumpy because his son (the real one) had decided to spend the entire night begging to be read to. He’d gotten into the kitchen’s cookie box, and asked Spider not to tell, and hadn’t been able to sleep until the eclipse began to wane.
So that morning, the bags under Nash’s eyes had been a bit darker, and his temper a bit shorter.
Which is when…
Spider ducks his head further into his knees, and tries to tamp down on his hitching breath. If he doesn’t, his exopack will run out of power. And then he’ll really be in trouble.
He knows now; remembers why he was running. His wrist aches as if Nash’s hand is still wrapped around it. He hadn’t meant to take his datapad, he’d said through tear filled eyes. He’d been looking for Norm’s.
He couldn’t remember exactly what Nash said, but it was something about being locked in his room for the rest of the day. He knew it was something horrible, because he’d struggled against Nash’s grip until he’d slipped from between his fingers.
Spider remembers how his heart had squeezed in his chest as he went. No one called his name, not until he’d reached the inner door and scrambled through the airlock.
He wonders, tucked away in his hideaway, did they even come outside to look for him? Or are they assuming that he’ll come back on his own, that he’s gone to visit the Sullys?
Did anyone even notice that he’d been hurt?
They’re lonely thoughts. They make his chest hurt, and Spider sniffles again to keep the snot from running. He tries to curl up tighter to avoid them, thinking of better things as the rain keeps beating his tree. After a few minutes of dragging his thoughts away from the throbbing of his wrist, gives up.
He should inspect it again. Should even try to splint it if he can - he has loads of support options from his tree’s branches. But part of him really doesn’t want to; his neck is stiff, he’s comfy where he is, and disturbing it will make it worse. What if he can’t splint it using one hand? It’ll be all that effort resulting in nothing so why should be even try–
He does lift his head, slowly. Not because the more stubborn part of him won out. Because something echoed over the rainfall. He can’t see anything through the gloom outside his tree, so he sits as still and quiet as he can.
“--der!” he hears, and Spider sits up on his knees. Wrapping cold, numb fingers around the edge of the hole in his tree to peer out.
He still doesn’t recognise the trees, but he knows he recognises whoever’s shouting. He just won’t let his expectations jump yet. Not until–
“Spider!”
He gives himself whiplash with how quickly he turns his head. He definitely knows that voice. His breath hitches in his chest, and his eyes fill with tears for the millionth time today. Seriously, he’s meant to be eight years old, he shouldn’t be crying like a big baby. That’s Lo’ak’s job.
But Spider can’t help it, not when he finally sees someone break through the trees. A very familiar person.
He’s scrambling over the lip of his hiding space before his brain can even catch up. The bark digs into the palm of his hands, his toes slip against the wet wood, and the awkward position twinges his wrist bad enough to make Spider yelp.
He lands in a heap on the ground, his hip and shoulder smarting again, but he pushes himself up, whilst gritting his teeth. Just in time, too, because Jake hurries over at the sound of Spider’s less than graceful fall.
“Spider!” Jake shouts, and through the still pouring rain, Spider can’t tell if he’s angry or relieved. He lands on his knees with a wet splat, and grabs hold of Spider’s shoulders. Yellow eyes doing a quick assessment.
Spider tries to not melt into the warmth of his hands. He really does.
“You alright?” Jake asks, and Spider has just enough brain left to nod.
“Why’re you here?” he asks, wincing at the raspiness of his own voice.
A frown crosses Jake’s face. It doesn’t stay long, but it’s there when he says, “We were looking for you? Norm told us you’d run off this morning. That the science guys lost sight of you pretty quick.”
Spider’s heart practically leaps in his chest, crashing into his throat and sticking there like a big rock. He feels Jake’s hands get a bit lighter against his shoulders as his eyes burn with tears.
“Everyone’s been out searching all afternoon,” Jake says when Spider doesn’t say anything. He feels the tears spill over and run down his cheeks then. Jake’s fingers tighten.
Usually, if it’s Kiri who cries, Jake’s immediately bundling her towards his chest. Wrapping his long arms over her shoulders and around her back. Hiding her from view. With Neteyam, Jake pats his head, or drags him into his side for a hug. Lo’ak cries all the time, and just clings to Jake like a spider-monkey until he’s calm or extricated away by Neytiri.
But Spider’s never cried in front of him. So it kind of makes everything a bit…awkward.
“It’s dangerous to be out here on your own,” Jake says, quietly, rubbing his thumbs against the edge of Spider’s collarbones. “You know that better than anyone. What would’ve happened if you’d slipped and cracked your mask, huh?”
Spider nods, and squeezes his eyes shut to fight back his tears. It does nothing, and once again he wishes he could lift his mask to wipe at them. The snot on his upper lip is really starting to itch now.
Through the darkness, he hears Jake sigh. “C’mon,” he says, patting Spider’s shoulders one last time. “Let’s get you back.”
He sniffles, nods, and goes willingly. It’s too dark to be heading back to Hell’s Gate now, it could be hours away from here. Maybe, Spider thinks, Jake’s bringing him back to Hometree to wait out the eclipse. He stretches out his stride at the idea. He’d be able to warm up again and then be able to face Hell’s Gate without the shivers working their way up and down his spine.
They climb over roots and wind through the trees. The forest comes alive as it always does during the eclipse as they go. But something stops him from grinning at the way his toes light up the ground.
It’s the darkness they’re heading towards. A place with no trees, where humans have taken over everything.
Spider finds his steps getting smaller, and smaller. And then stopping altogether. His tears flow again, silent this time. It takes Jake at least five steps to realise Spider’s not behind him.
It must be the light from the eclipse, or the shadows created by the bioluminescence around them. Because when Jake turns around, he looks annoyed. Like he just can’t with Spider’s crying. He sighs, and Spider clenches his hand into a fist, bites the inside of his cheek to make the tears stop.
“What’s wrong?” Jake asks, but Spider just shakes his head.
He can’t– can’t tell him. It’s not as easy as he’s making it to be. How could he tell Jake that he’d thought he’d gotten a lot farther than he did? That by escaping into the forest, a part of him was trying to actually escape? That the five, maybe ten minute walk it’s taken to get back to Hell’s Gate has eaten away at Spider’s hope until there’s almost nothing left.
How could he say that he thought he was being taken back to Hometree and not here? How could he, when it’d just make him look childish?
“Nothing,” he says, his heart aching in his chest. He forces his feet to move, catching up to, and then passing Jake to get his inevitable scolding over and done with.
It’s not Norm who meets them at the door though.
“Oh thank god,” Nash says at the same time that Mary pushes past him.
Spider tries to keep the wince off his face, he really does, but when she nears him he has to duck his head. Her hands land on his shoulders, a little too tight and warm against his bare skin. She rubs them against his arms even though he tries to back away.
“He’s freezing,” she says, and Spider would be melting into the maternal worry if Nash wasn’t just…standing there.
“Found him in the woods at the perimeter,” Jake tells them. “Search party must’ve missed him because he’d scampered into a tree.”
The sound that escapes Mary’s lips is a strange mix of worried, confused, and a bit irritated. Spider mumbles an apology, and she clicks her tongue. “Well,” she says, “we’ll know not to try that again, don’t we?”
It’s pointed, and Spider’s just about able to scrape a quiet, “Yeah,” out of his mouth before anyone else can get annoyed. Mary takes his hand, and drags him towards the door to Hell’s Gate. Passing close enough to Nash for him to pat Spider’s head.
It’s too heavy and overbearing to be as fatherly as Spider wants it to be.
“Thanks again, Jake,” Nash says, and Spider turns just in time to watch the airlock door slide shut, and Jake’s shadow heads back into the trees.
Although nothing’s said, Spider gets the feeling that he’s in big trouble. So he does the only thing he can think of doing. He wrenches his arm from Mary’s grip, and runs deeper into Hell’s Gate.
Maybe he could find something similar to his tree hideaway. Somewhere he won’t be found.