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Peter walked down the hallways of Stark Tower, music blasting in his ears. Tony sent him down to one of the old communal floors of the Avengers for some papers. He had been slowly organizing old files and papers from 2012. He decided now that the Rogue Avengers’ trial was ending he should deal with those papers as well. And dealing with them did not mean that it was him that went down to that floor every other day for some files that had been gathering dust since 2016. No. It was Peter. Tony claimed that he had to do it, because he's technically an intern, and this is an intern job. Truthfully, he just didn't wanna get up from his chair.
Peter stepped out of the elevator, music in his ears, eyes closed, simply swirling around to the song. He'd been here so many times these past weeks, that he didn't even need to have his eyes open to find the big desk with the holo-screen and the papers. He started pressing different buttons on the table and the screen, as files popped up from drawers. It really was a funny little contraption. He just had to find the files he needed on the screen, press a couple of buttons on the desk, and what he needed popped up from a drawer. He couldn't yet figure out why Tony didn't bring this desk up to the floor he used as a lab nowadays.
He grabbed all the papers Tony asked him to bring up and put them into a neat pile.
With how loud the music in his ears was he didn't even feel his spider-sense go off. This way he only realized the mistake he made when he turned around and dropped all the papers from his hand.
Before him stood the entire team of the Rogue Avengers, all staring at him. He knew their final court trial was today. And he knew they'd come here after, but he assumed it would last a lot longer. And Tony didn't say they'd be coming up to this floor.
“Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?” Captain Rogers asked after Peter swiftly removed his earphones.
If the trials went well, then they would’ve come here to the Tower, obviously. So it was highly likely that Peter would’ve met them. It was a definite sooner or later situation. And Tony prepared him for it.
He steadied himself, straightened his back and looked the Captain in the eye, ignoring the pile of papers he just dropped.
"I am an intern," he replied simply.
While maintaining eye contact with the Captain, he started to tap his foot lightly. Dot dot dot. Dash dash dash. Dot dot dot. Morse code. Tony created this protocol for FRIDAY a while back, after the third weirdo tried to get information out of Peter about Tony. So it mainly served as a way for Peter to alert him when that happened. Because sadly if you're acting like you're a generic high school kid, who just happened to be Tony Stark's intern, then you couldn't just solve these problems the Spiderman way. It was also useful for when he was having a panic attack and couldn't speak. Then he just had to knock s.o.s on something and Tony would be alerted of his current status, and where he was.
He saw one of the lights flicker a bit beside him. FRIDAY passed on the message. So he just had to stall for time until Tony arrived.
“Kid, I don't know how much has changed in two years,” the Captain spoke again, “but I know that no intern has the clearance to be here. So I ask again. Who are you?”
Exactly. The Captain did not know how much changed in the past two years, so he had no right to assume Peter couldn't be here.
Stall for time. His main operative. At least currently. His usual main operative if faced with Steve Rogers would be to annoy the crap out of him. Well, how do they say it? Kill two birds with one stone. That's mean. Why would you wanna kill a bird, let alone two?
“I am not legally obligated to answer that question, Mr. Rogers.” He made sure to look as unbothered as it was possible of him. “Especially since I do not know how the trial went, meaning I do not know if you have the clearance to be here.”
The Captain blinked at him. “Okay kid. Look.” He took a threatening step forward. At least it was supposed to be. Clearly, he was expecting Peter to stand back or be scared or something, because when he only blinked back at him he didn't continue.
Peter wouldn’t flinch at him taking menacing steps towards him. He fought him before. Of course he didn't know that. So instead he used another way of annoying the Captain.
“I'd like to ask you to step back Mr. Rogers.” He smiled a little. “As per the Revised Sokovia Accords’ section C, paragraph four, you cannot threaten anyone that had not violated the laws of the US government, and/or posed any prior threat to innocents. And I assume the UN would not appreciate you breaking the Accords about an hour after signing them. Assuming that you signed them, and are even allowed to be here.
Steve blinked once again. But he stood back.
Peter shifted his gaze towards the elevator. No sign of Tony. Where the hell was he? It's not that hard to get down here.
He heard something static. He looked back at the people standing before him. He took in the questioning looks of everyone, until his eyes landed on Wanda's hand that was enveloped in red magic.
“Miss Maximoff.” He looked her directly in the eye. “I would appreciate it if you didn't try to look into my mind,” he said in a calm voice. “Also you cannot use your powers on anyone that has not broken any of the US government's laws, posed a prior threat or just generally harmed civilians and innocents, without their consent. As per the Revised Sokovia Accords' section C, paragraph seven,” he decided to add.
The static stopped and the red disappeared.
“Thank you.” Peter gave her a small smile.
“Why the hell do you know the entirety of the Accords?” Sam spoke up.
“I am not legally obligated to answer that question either, Mr. Wilson.” Peter looked at him.
“Are there questions that you are legally obligated to answer?” Natasha turned towards Peter. Sparks of curiosity in her eyes.
Of course the Black Widow would be the only one amused even slightly by this conversation. Because of that Peter decided not to mention how her having three different guns hidden in her outfit violated three different points of the Accords (section C, paragraph four; section F, paragraph six; section G, paragraph two).
“Hmm…” Peter pretended to think for a second. “No,” he stated simply. Then a small smile appeared on his face again. “Well, not to you all.”
“Then to who?” A smile – a very small one – was playing on the Widow's lips as well.
“Well…” The smile became a full on smirk now. “I am not legally obligated to answer who I'm legally obligated to answer to.”
“I swear to god, if you say legally obligated one more time–” Steve started, but was cut off.
“I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't murder my intern.” The elevator doors opened and Tony stepped out in suit. He was not wearing a suit when he sent down Peter. Of course the reason Peter had to stall for extra time was so that Tony could change into a fancy suit to make a dramatic entrance. It wouldn't be Tony if he just came down in slightly worn clothes.
“Again. Section C, paragraph four. Hello Mr. Stark,” Peter greeted him in a formal manner, as he always did when other people were present.
“Why do you have the Accords memorized, kid? They don't even apply to you,” Tony asked with a laugh, knowing full well that they do apply to Peter.
“Reading through and remembering legal documents you do not wish to was part of my job description,” he answered as he leaned down to gather the papers he dropped earlier.
“Really?” Tony continued the conversation, not even bothering to acknowledge the others in the room.
“Yes.” Peter stood up, papers in hand, doing the same. “It was on the third page, in the fifth paragraph.”
“It's possible. I didn't read it.” Tony shrugged.
“And that's why I'm here.” Peter smiled and walked over to the older man. “The files you asked for. Though I'd like to emphasize my prior suggestion, as it still stands.”
“Sorry kid. We run on clean energy.” Tony patted his shoulder, as he checked over the papers, then handed them back to him. “Bring these up to my lab. I forgot I had a meeting with these guys after their trial.”
“Of course Mr. Stark.” Peter nodded and stepped into the elevator.
“Well let's get started, shall we?” Tony clapped his hands together as the doors closed.
“Who's the kid, Tony?” Peter could hear Steve's question.
“My intern. Real smart kid. Anyways. How'd the trial go?”
~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~
After Tony went through all the formalities with the others he sent them on their way as fast as possible. He didn't want to talk with most of them yet. He just had to, so the public knew that if another threat appeared the Avengers would be able to deal with it.
Only him and Natasha (the only one he really missed the past two years) were left in the room.
“When d'you get yourself a kid?” she asked as she stood up from the couch.
“He's not my kid. He's my intern.” Tony stood up as well. “And he started working for me about a year and a half ago.”
“Seems like a great kid. The way he talked to us so nonchalantly. Kinda surprised me even.”
“Well he did learn from the best.” Tony grinned.
“And smart too. The little Morse code tapping with his foot. Did that alert you?”
Tony chuckled. “Not even surprised you noticed. Yeah. Quite the useful thing. You'd be surprised how many people tried to threaten him to get information about me. But hey. That was also part of the job description,” he said. “At least I think so.”
“I'm sure he can tell you which page and which paragraph it was written on,” Natasha laughed.
“Oh definitely. Shall we go? Still got a couple of things to get through.” Tony motioned towards the elevator.
“Lead the way.” Natasha started walking, but then stopped and leaned down. “Tony, wait. I think this fell out of the folders the kid was carrying.” She looked at the paper. “Is this a print of Steve's suit from 2012?”
“Yeah, I was sorting through old shit.” Tony took the paper from her.
She narrowed her eyes and thought for a second. “What was the 'prior suggestion' your intern talked about?” she asked with a smirk.
“Well I wasn't completely listening,” Tony smirked right back at her, “but he said something about how anything that has Captain America's name on should only be used as burning fuel.”