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Anything could become a big attraction at a place like that island.
It had been less than a month since a new coffee shop turned into the hot spot of the village. The Mean Bean Coffee Café was a small, cozy looking business, and visitors came from all over the island to taste the shop’s legendary latte. The barista and owner of the place, a human male called Stone, also caught the attention of the villagers with his warm smile and delicious beverages.
Even for someone like Sonic, who preferred eating chilli dogs to drinking coffee, that place was a welcome change. It felt refreshing seeing another human who wasn't Dr. Eggman living there. There were no evil plans or robot attacks with Stone, just a normal person selling coffee.
“Here is your hot chocolate with extra milk,” Stone kindly handed Tails a cup.
“Thanks!” Tails accepted his cup with a smile and walked away from the counter.
As Tails sat down at their table, Sticks was feeding everybody conspiracy theories about the coffee shop being a trap. “That place shows up overnight and attracts the entire island to it! Don’t you think it’s suspicious?!” Sticks narrowed her eyes. “And there is something fishy about that barista.”
Mr. Stone, the barista, was currently handing a cup of latte to a rabbit child. He had a smile on his face and wore an apron with a drawing of a smiling coffee bean on it. Not really the face of evil, in Sonic’s opinion.
"Come on, Sticks," Sonic said, "I'd rather have a chili dog place but this coffee shop seems normal."
"Yeah, Mr. Stone doesn’t seem like a bad person to me,” Amy said.
Sticks snapped at them. “The place’s name is Mean Bean, for crying out loud! Are you all blind?! Do you hear yourselves?!”
“That’s because he makes a mean latte!” Knuckles said, downing half his latte in one go and slamming the cup back on the table. “Did you get it? Mean latte! I’m getting better at jokes!” He then offered his sightly scrunched cup to the others. “Want a sip?”
“Thanks, but no.” Sticks pushed the cup away from her with one hand. “I’ve already risked too much coming here. I’m not drinking that.” She narrowed her eyes at the latte as if it were poisoned.
Knuckles shrugged, “more for me,” and downed the rest in another go.
“How can you be so sure this coffee won’t brainwash you?” she continued, eyes wide open as she sank into her usual paranoia, “ He could be using evil beans from a genetically modified farm to make us addicted to it! I’ve seen a guy drink a big cup of that coffee one day and he started shaking! SHAKING! I’m telling you, there is something fishy about this place!”
“Sticks, it’s caffeine...” Tails said, sounding like it wasn’t the first time he told her that.
Tails attempt to bring some sense into her head didn’t work, though, and Sonic spaced out as she went deep into a new conspiracy about the coffee shop enslaving and brewing a race of sentient coffee beans to make latte. Sonic didn’t care. He wasn’t in the mood to drink latte to begin with and only joined in because Tails wanted some hot chocolate, but he was incredibly bored and doing his best to stay still and not go for a walk around the room.
“Look! Look!” Sticks pulled Sonic’s arm all of a sudden, snapping him out of his thoughts and almost making him lose balance. Her other arm was pointing at something near the entrance of the shop. “I told you so! This is suspicious.”
He looked on the direction she was pointing at and watched as Eggman walked in, stopped halfway and looked around nervously. Sonic raised an eyebrow as the man grabbed a device from his pocket, only for it to turn out to be some kind of mirror gadget he used to check his mustache. Right after that, a small robot flew from Eggman’s sleeve to spray some perfume on him. Sonic found the scene a bit amusing, but not exactly suspicious.
However, Sticks wasn't convinced at all. "See! Eggman is here! This can't be good! What kind of business does he have in a coffee shop? Evil, I'm telling you."
Sonic sighed. "Sticks," he said, freeing himself from her grasp and doing his best to stay calm, "Eggman goes to Meh Burger all the time-"
"And that place is evil too!"
"But it doesn't mean he is doing anything but grabbing some food," He continued, ignoring her claim, "you know I dislike the ugly mustache egghead as much as the next person, but-"
"But?" A male voice said from behind him. Sonic turned around, seeing Eggman towering over him. “Can’t a man grab a coffee once in a while without being bothered by a blue hedgehog?”
“Listen, I was defending y-” Sonic stopped and sighed, realizing it would be useless. “You know what? I don't care! Go ahead and grab your eggnog or whatever.” He handwaved.
“For your information, I going to drink a latte, not eggnog.” Eggman said, before turning his attention back to his mirror gadget. “And could you rodents stop chatting over here?! It’s ruining the ambience! Why are you at my favorite coffee shop anyway?!”
“It’s the entire island’s favorite coffee shop," Sonic said, "it's the only coffee shop!"
Eggman frowned and turned around, mumbling something about popularity ruining the best spots.
Sticks still watched Eggman with suspicion and Sonic caught himself doing the same with the corner of his eyes. It wasn’t like he cared about Eggman’s daily life, he was just so bored that even the egghead seemed interesting.
They watched as Eggman combed his mustache twice, took a deep breath and finally walked towards the counter with immense confidence...
...only to turn around and trot back to the entrance again.
"I told you!” Sticks whispered, "suspicious..."
"Is he planning something?" Sonic whispered, finally giving up. The situation did look weird.
Amy chimed in. "I don't think he is planning anything. Eggman just seems... shy?"
Eggman stood at a corner while occasionally glancing at the counter. He looked nervous at something.
"Oooh," Amy said, widening her eyes, "I have a feeling I know what is going on!"
"Yes!" Sticks said, getting up on her seat. "Evil coffee!"
"No, not that," Amy said, pulling her back to her seat.
They all watched as Eggman puffed his chest, finally reached the counter and slammed his hands on it. The barista barely moved, though, as if he had already gotten used to the man's behavior — and, knowing Eggman, it was probably not the first time he did that.
"Stone!" Eggman's glare was visible from their table, "my latte."
"Yes sir," Stone gave him a smile, and Sonic didn't know whether it was sincere or just the desire to not get his shop exploded by robots. Then again, Stone smiled at every costumer regardless of treatment. The Mean Bean was like the polar opposite of the Meh burger when it came to costumer service.
However, something drove his attention away from Eggman. Tails shouted something in a worried tone, and Sonic barely had time to jump off his seat in instinct before the disaster hit: Knuckles's hand had accidentally hit Tails' cup, spilling chocolate all over the table.
"Oh, damn..." Knuckles said in a sad tone, "big hands, sorry!"
Everyone in the table hurried to clean themselves from the chocolate, and Eggman didn't cross Sonic's mind for the rest of the day.
Eggman laid on the couch at his home. The TV was on, showing some romance movie he would normally enjoy — though he would never admit it out loud — but couldn't bring himself to care about at the moment. He had been planning to ask Mr. Stone on a date that day, but the presence of those damn rodents made him back down.
Mr. Stone was the most stunning man he ever laid eyes on, besides Eggman himself of course. And his beauty was not his only decent characteristic. He made coffee like no coffee making machine could replicate — Eggman tried, the resulting beverage felt like it had something missing — and he had that cute smile and those huge brown eyes that made him want to grab his neck and strangle it-
"Doctor," a robotic voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "we have brought you the stone you asked for."
"STONE?!" Eggman sat up on the couch. He looked to the side, seeing the Orbot and Cubot. "Oh, it's you."
The two robots stood at the living room, accompanied by a huge boulder. Cubot carried the object on his back, almost falling under the weight of it. He didn't remember asking for a boulder. The robots likely heard him mumble about Stone earlier and took that as a request. It would have been funny to watch the robot fall victim to its own idiocy under normal circunstances, but Eggman couldn't bring himself to care about that in his emotional state. He should reprogram them to be less nosy.
"Where should we put the stone?" Orbot asked, as Cubot finally succumbed to the rock's weight, "I believe it's gonna look lovely in the living room, sir."
Eggman snapped: "WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STONE?! THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT!" He then laid down on the couch and sulked. "I'm having a love life crisis, don't bother me."
Orbot and Cubot exchanged a glance.
"The only Stone I want is the one in the coffee shop," Eggman sighed, talking more to himself than to the robots, "NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"Understood boss." Orbot nodded and left the room.
Eggman buried his face on a cushion and hoped to finally get the peace and quiet to sulk over his crush.
However, Cubot still laid under the boulder, unable to move. "Help."
"I move my Schnauzer to declare an attack on your Retriever," Amy said, moving a piece on the board game.
"Not my Retriever!" Eggman exclaimed, "You don't have the firepower for this!"
"Yes, I do. I powered it up a turn ago with the princess warrior cape, remember? It gets 200 power points every turn it survives on board, so its 3700 power points against your Retriever's 3500 points." With that, she knocked down his piece.
"UNFAIR!" He hit the table, making the pieces jump. "Why isn't this cape banned from the meta?! 200 points for every turn?!"
"Because the Beagle Knight's passive neutralizes it's power and makes it easily counterable. Come on!"
"Tryhard..." Eggman muttered, crossing his arms.
After Orbot and Cubot ruined his afternoon — one of his robots managed to rescue Cubot, but the boulder was stuck in the living room — Eggman decided that a game of fuzzy puppies with Amy could at least improve his mood a bit. It had the opposite effect, though, since Amy had improved her piece set and was using the new overpowered, brainless puppies that drained all the strategy out of the game. Not that it bothered Eggman. He was a genius and could still win even if his puppies were getting destroyed by pieces that shouldn't exist. He was coping very well with that, thank you very much.
"So..."Amy hesitated, shaking the dice, "the Mean Bean is nice, isn't it?"
All his anger vanished with the mention of that place. Eggman tried have a normal reaction, but he got betrayed by his own smile. "You enjoy going there too?" He said, as she threw the dice on the board.
"Yeah, their coffee tastes good," Amy said, moving her piece, "and the barista is so nice, isn't he?"
"He is... decent, I guess," Eggman said, trying to look composed, but the smile refused to leave his face.
"Decent?"
"Well, definitely better than Dave," Eggman said. "He is competent, and makes the best steamed goat milk lattes, seriously, try it out for yourself someday. Or don't. Leave them for me only. He also doesn't complain when I scream my order at him or ramble about my new machines, unlike some people in this island. Oh, and he treats every costumer well, unlike Dave. And Stone has that face... I mean, those eyes that are so big they..." he gesticulated choking someone with his hands, "and- and that stupid smile he does to every costumer! Who smiles like that?! It feels like my dark evil heart is getting hit by a ray of sunshine-" he stopped himself as it downed on him what he just said. "Yeah he is competent." He averted her gaze.
A minute of silence took over the room while Eggman did his best to avoid Amy's gaze and pretended to be focused on the game. However, all he did was move his puppy aimlessly around the board, probably breaking a few rules in the process.
"Damn, you are down bad." Amy finally broke the silence.
Eggman felt his face burn in embarrassment. "What are you saying?!"
"Oh, come on, I saw your face this morning," Amy said with a smile, "and now," she added, pointing at him. "I can see you have a crush on him!"
He sighed in defeat. "Alright, I do have a crush on him. What can I say? Even an evil person like me isn't immune to good looking men."
Amy smiled. "Eggman, that's adorable!"
"Don't call me adorable, I'm a villain," he said, embarrassed.
"Tell me, he know you like him?! Have you asked him out yet?!"
Eggman looked more embarrassed. "I would not hit on him without a dedicated plan, I don't do things half assed," he then added, in a quieter tone: "and I don't know if he likes men."
"I see..." She looked pensive for a second before hitting the table with one hand, making the pieces jump again. "Eggman, I might not know how to conquer the world, but I'm gonna help you conquer that man's heart!"
"Would you do that for me?"
"Of course! I can't see someone suffer like this! Meet me at the town square tomorrow morning and I'll help you."
"Amy, you are a great hedgehog of a person!" Eggman said, wiping away a tear. "It makes me not want to attack the island anymore."
"Really?"
"No, but I felt like saying something nice."
"I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed here" Eggman looked around at all the animals surrounding him and then back at her, "do your friends need to be involved in my love life?"
When he got to the town square that morning, he was greeted by the entirety of team Sonic, minus Sticks.
"It's a team effort," Amy said.
"Well, I don't care," Sonic chimed in, "what I wanna know is why we woke up at six in the morning to help Mr. Grinch-with-a-mustache over here, I thought we- Wait, love life?!"
"I would have told you if you stopped to listen for once," Amy said to Sonic.
"Wow, wow, are you guys having communication issues?" Eggman asked, "Do you want some space to talk it out?"
"Eggman has a crush," Tails clarified.
"A crush?" Sonic raised an eyebrow, "Like on a robot or...?"
"A robot?!" Eggman sounded offended. "Come on, those souless creatures?! Do you think I'm that lonely?"
Sonic opened his mouth to answer, but Amy shook her head for him to not do it. He then decided to change his answer. "That's... uh... I'm sorry, it's just that I never thought you would be into romance stuff."
"Of course I'm into romance, you stupid hedgehog! I'll let you know I'm a romantic, a gentleman and a feminist." He ran a hand over his mustache.
Sonic didn't know what to do with that information. "Alright, but... why should we help you? You never did anything for us!"
"That's not true, he helped us many times," Tails chimed in, "like when he helped me get a girlfriend."
Eggman nodded in agreement. "By the way, how are things with that fox girl?"
"Great! We went out for some ice cream yesterday!"
"I'm so happy for you!"
"There was also the time he helped me find a fuzzy puppy piece I lost!" Amy added.
"And when he gifted me a threadmill for my gym training!" Knuckles said, "and then it became alive and tried to bite me... but it was great running motivation!"
"What about the countless times he tried to destroy us?!" Sonic exclaimed, "you know, like that time he shot down Tails' plane, and the other time he left me to die in that temple, and-"
"It's all water under the bridge," Eggman said, "did you know holding grudges is bad for your mental health? I've learned that in my meditation classes. You should try it someday."
Sonic rolled his eyes, it was useless to argue. Amy pulled him aside.
"Sonic," Amy whispered to him, "Listen, I've never seen Eggman like someone this much... or any amount, for that matter... I- I kinda fell bad. And Mr. Stone seems like such a nice guy, maybe... I don't know... I can't believe I'm saying this, but-"
"Wait, Stone? The guy from the Mean Bean? What does...?" Sonic widened his eyes, realizing what this meant about Eggman. "I didn't know that."
He looked at Eggman once again, deep in thought. "What are you whispering over there?" Eggman asked from afar.
Sonic sighed."Alright, I guess getting in a relationship could be the chance for him to improve as a person," he said, "it won't hurt to try." He turned to look at Eggman. "So what is the plan? How can I help you?"
Eggman opened his mouth, but Amy was faster to answer. "Glad you asked!" She pulled a screen from thin air to show them a 30-something page long slideshow. "I've made a multistep strategy to help him."
"Where did you get that from...?" Sonic asked.
"I lent it to her," Tails said, not really answering the question.
"First of all," Amy said, "we need to find out more about the barista-"
"Great idea!" Eggman said, "I'm gonna send a spybot to the shop-"
Amy crossed her arms. "No! Not like that! I'll do it myself. I have ways to make him talk." She then pressed to the next slide, "now for the second part of my twenty three step plan to help Eggman!"
Everybody groaned as they were forced to watch the painfully long slideshow.
"Sticks, why the sudden interest in joining me?" Amy asked.
Amy was walking to the Mean Bean when Sticks showed up with the intention to join her. She wasn't bothered about her friend joining in, but she wondered what she planned to do, since she was too busy to join their meeting earlier that morning and had no idea about Eggman's situation.
"Don't worry about me, I know about your plan," Sticks said, putting one hand on Amy's shoulder, "I can help you."
Amy smiled back at her and they walked into the shop.
The place was not crowded at that time. It was that strange time where the lines between breakfast and lunch were blurried and people didn't know whether to buy a coffee to distract their stomach or wait to eat a full meal in the apropriate time.
Despite this, Barista Stone stood in his usual spot on the counter and smiled when they approached the counter. "Welcome to the Mean Bean, can I take your order?"
It all happened very fast. Sticks ran and jumped to climb the counter, landing in all fours. She then leaned forward and stared straight in Stones eyes, whispering her next words in a threatening tone: "I know what you are."
They stayed in silence for a moment before Stone replied, confused. "Excuse me?"
Amy decided to go for a less aggressive approach. She pulled Sticks off the counter and leaned forward to talk to him as if she were chatting with a long time friend. "So, how is your love life going? Any girlfriend? Boyfriend maybe? Wait, are you married? Oh, I heard humans wear rings on one hand to show that they are married-" She tried to grab his hand, but he backed away. "I see no ring."
"I'm not married." Stone said, looking a bit weirded out.
Amy grinned. "Then you are single?!"
"Listen, I think you are a bit too young for me-"
"Do you like men?" Amy asked.
"What?"
Sticks hit the counter. "Answer her!"
"Am I being interrogated here?" Stone raised an eyebrow.
"Yes!" Sticks said, "now tell us about your plans to brainwash the population with genetically engineered coffee beans and take over the island!"
"Sticks!" Amy decided to intervene before the situation gets out of hand, "that's- that's not what we are doing here..."
"Wait, we aren't investigating his brainwashing latte empire?!" Sticks asked.
Amy raised an eyebrow. "No...?"
"Forget it then!" Sticks jumped off the counter and left.
"What in the world just happened?" Stone said.
"Don't mind her," Amy said, "so uh, do you like men? This is important because, uhh... me and Sonic are planning this huge couples event in the village and we want to be inclusive-"
"So you are just going around the island asking random people their sexual orientations?"
"Now that you put it like this it does sound weird, but-" They both stared at each other and she could see that Stone was not buying it. She needed a different approach. "Please just tell me if you like men..."
"Why?"
"It's for a friend. He is interested in you."
He looked defeated, raising his hands in jest. "I'm gay."
"Yesss I knew it!!!" She celebrated, punching the air. "And are you single?!"
"Yes," he said, "so are you going to order anything or are you just here for my love life?"
Her ears lowered down as her face changed to a tired expression. "One black coffee, please. Its hard being a wingwoman."
Since Amy was busy getting information and Tails had left to who-knows-where, Eggman was left alone with Sonic & knuckles, also known as his own personal hell. Sonic wasn't doing much beside sitting on a rock and sending him a glare every now and then, but Knuckles was trying his best to give him love advice. Which, coming from knuckles, was the same thing as getting love advice from a coconut.
"Listen, don't like men like you do, but," Knuckles said, walking in circles in front of Eggman, "I understand a lot about romance, like, modern romance! All the latest tips!"
"Yeah, sure," Eggman pretended to pay attention.
"So if you want to impress the Ladi- uh, the... males? the... Lads?"
"You can skip over this part. Get to the heart of it."
"...you need to show her how... wait, that's for the ladies, I don't know if a man would like this one. But you could...! No, no, I don't think gifting him a dress would work. Think, Knuckles, think!" Knuckles hit his own head with his fist and fell with his back on the sand. "Ouch."
Thankfully, his savior came in the form of Tails showing up with a pile of books. He laid them on a nearby table. "I've checked out all books on romance I could find at the library. Take a look!"
Eggman read the titles. Most of them seemed to be self help books for couples in the verge of divorce or people desperate to find a significant other, he would feel a bit more offended by it if it didn't come from Tails.
Tails read the title of one of the books. "How to get a good man during the migratory season," He said, "this one sounds good!"
"I believe I don't fit the target audience for it," he pointed at the image of a bird woman on the cover, "besides, I prefer bad men."
"Then what about this one? Healthy relationships in the 21th century!"
"I'm not sure if I'm capable of a healthy relationship. I need to work through some family trauma first... and my therapist robots need a few updates."
He remembered the last time he tried to talk to one of them. It exploded after he tried telling it his family history, and he didn't even get to the lizard uncle.
They continued to look through the books — Eggman rejecting the most absurd ones — and were almost finished with it when Amy showed up running towards them.
"I FOUND OUT! I FOUND OUT!" Amy said, stopping in front of them, "Eggman, good news: Mr. Stone is gay! And single! You have a chance!"
Eggman grinned so hard his mustache moved with it, but then he composed himself. "Of course I have a chance, a man like me always does."
"Then our work here is done!" Sonic said, getting up, "Good luck, Egghead! It's was nice helping you but I'm outta here-"
"It's not over yet!" Amy said, grabbing him by the shoulder, "We still have to help him ask Stone out." And then added, after seeing Sonic's face. "Love is a complicated and delicate thing, my dear Sonic."
"Yes, my dear Sonic," Eggman added in a mocking tone. "Now, Amy, do you have something in mind?"
Amy smiled. "If you want to impress Mr. Stone, you could try giving him a gift! What's the nicest thing you could gift him?"
"The world."
"Not that. Think of something more possible..." Amy hesitated as Eggman glared at her, "...in short term scenario, I mean! Not that you are that unlikely to take over the world someday." She gave him an awkward smile. "Keep chasing your dreams!"
Tails chimed in. "Maybe he won't like world domination as a gift. Just because you like him, it doesn't mean he is evil like you."
"That's true!" Amy said, "Why don't we think of something more simple?"
"Like a book!" Tails suggested.
Eggman pondered for a second. "Do you think he likes romance novels?" He asked.
"Maybe?" Amy said, "I've heard coffee shop romance is in fashion!"
"Coffee shop?!" Eggman scoffed, "That's too cliche. We must think higher!"
"Maybe something to help him with his job, then?" Amy suggested.
"I know! What about an informative book about coffee?" Tails suggested.
"Do you want him to think I'm insulting his skills?!" Eggman said, "Forget books, what if I make him a missile robot?!"
"That doesn't sound very useful for a barista," Tails said.
"It is useful for the shop! What if a burglar decides to break in?" He said, but the other two didn't look very impressed. "Then what about a missile robot that cleans the shop?"
"That's not romantic," Amy said, "think of something more lovely!"
"What about... a flower arranging.... robot?" Eggman said, "and it has missiles!"
"No robots," Amy said, "or missiles," she added after Eggman opened his mouth.
"You don't appreciate safety standards!" He scoffed.
"I don't understand," Orbot said to Cubot, "I don't see any rocks in this place."
The two robots got inside the Mean Bean, looking for the stone his boss was so desperately after. However, the place looked like a normal coffee shop, with no rocks or crystals or anything of the sort inside of it.
"Maybe they are hidden somewhere?" Cubot said, looking around. "I know! We could ask the barista!"
They approached the counter where the barista stood.
"Good afternoon, sir-"
"THREE!" A female voice shouted from somewhere, and the two robots were suddenly wrapped in a net. "DAMMIT!" Sticks screamed, peeking out from under a table. "Why were these robots in the way?!"
"You!" The barista pointed at her, "What are you doing?!"
Sticks widened her eyes. "I got caught!" She scrambled to leave her hiding place, grabbing the bow and arrow and the handmade traps she likely crafted herself. "This is not over, hear me?!" She pointed at the barista while walking out. "It's not over!!" She left the shop, running and dropping one of the traps behind in her escape.
"What's wrong with that badger?!" The barista gesticulated towards the door, sounding exhasperated.
However, Orbot and Cubot were more than used to the local islanders weirdness, and had a much more urgent matter in hands. "Excuse me, sir," Orbot said, "could you untangle us from this situation?"
"My arm wires feel numb," Cubot added.
The man crouched next to them and started untangling the net. "You are Doctor Eggman's robots, aren't you? Could you help me with something?"
The robots exchanged a glance.
"It depends on what it is," Orbot said, "our boss won't be happy if we turn against him."
"Last time we helped an enemy by accident he tied us with a rope and left us there for hours," Cubot said in a sad tone.
"Nice," Stone mumbled to himself, and then added, "I mean... no need to worry about that. I just wanna ask you a question."
"Then go ahead, mr...," Orbot's eyes stopped on the man's nametag. "...Stone."
Orbot barely had time to process the implications of his name when Stone's question shocked him out of his circuits: "Is the doctor single?"
After a long preparation that involved tasks like learning how to bake the perfect cake and finding three secret keys hidden around the island, Eggman was finally ready to ask Stone out. Amy and her friends dressed him up in a blue suit, holding a colorful flower bouquet and wearing some perfume he got from her. Even Sticks joined them, even if to ramble incoherent — but interesting — conspiracy theories about brainwashing lattes.
"I don't feel very comfortable," Eggman said, looking at himself from a mirror Tails was holding, "can't it be another color, at least?"
"Blue is in fashion this season," Tails said with a smile, "I saw it on the internet."
"And it's a lovely color!" Amy added.
"I don't know if I agree with you," Eggman said, glancing at Sonic.
"Let's get through with this already," Sonic said, starting to walk towards the Mean Bean.
They stopped in front of the coffee shop. Eggman looked visibly nervous.
"You can do this," Tails said, "you are great at dating advice!"
"Go get your lad!" Knuckles said, punching the air.
"Good luck!" Amy said, pushing him forward, "and remember: just because you are evil, it doesn't mean he is too!"
Eggman took a step forward and suddenly there was loud explosion behind them. A crowd ran past them, screaming for their lives.
"Not mine," Eggman said, feeling eyes on him.
They looked behind them. A few meters from the shop, a black motorcycle with purple details was running around, shooting lasers at its surroundings. Its driver stopped amidst the chaos and pressed a button on its helmet, revealing the driver's face.
"Isn't that Mr. Stone?" Tails asked in shock. "What is going on?"
"Beware, rodents! This is Agent Stone speaking!" Something in his helmet projected his voice to every speaker in the island, "You better like coffee, because soon the Mean Bean is going to be the only food place in this island, whether you like it or not. I'M GOING TO DESTROY THE MEH BURGER!"
He clacked and turned the bike around and drove it towards the burger place.
"HE IS AN AGENT!!" Sticks pointed in anger. "See?! I told you he was suspicious!!"
"He is evil?!" Amy exclaimed, sounding betrayed. "What?!"
"You must be kidding me," Sonic said.
"What a man!" Eggman exclaimed.
Stone continued talking, destroying the surroundings in his way. "And remember, if you visit the shop today you can get half the price on a latte if you use the code World Domination!"
Eggman's eyes grew wide and he turned around to go to the shop. There was no way he was missing such an important opportunity.
"Oh, no, no, no," Sonic said, stopping on his way, "you are not leaving for coffee. You dragged us into this, so now you better help us stop mr. coffee beans from destroying the Meh Burger."
"Do you want me to turn against my crush?! What kind of person are you?!"
Sonic just stared back at him with crossed arms, tapping his foot on the ground.
"Alright, alright... I'll join your heartless plan!" Eggman handwaved. "Just let me grab the eggmobile over there."He then turned around and whispered to the device on his wrist. "Orbot, cubot, you better go to the Mean Bean right now and grab me a steamed austrian goat milk latte for half the price! Don't forget, the code is World Dominatio-" Sonic grabbed him by the suit. "Oh, goddamn it, Sonic, let me have my drink!"
He was pratically dragged to the Eggmobile by Sonic. "I'm keeping an eye on you," Sonic said, pointing at him, "Let's go after that guy and don't try anything funny."
Eggman mocked Sonic as he turned around, but got in the eggmobile as asked.
Stone wrecked havoc at the Meh Burger. People screamed everywhere — and Eggman had to wonder where did all these costumers came from — while Stone drove his bike between the tables, shooting lasers all over the place.
Dave dug himself out of a pile of debris where the counter used to be. "Dude, what the hell?" He said, looking as confused as his plain face would allow. That was when Sonic decided to interfere.
"Alright, Mr. evil barista!" Sonic exclaimed, pointing at Stone, "I don't really understand your beef with burgers, but it's time for you to stop!"
"Haha, beef!" Knuckles laughed at the unintended pun.
Stone turned his vehicle to face Sonic, the glare of the headlight pointing at him. "You dare to challenge me, stinky hedgehog?"
"Look, you don't need to call me stinky, we barely know each oth-"
A laser fled in Sonic's direction. The hedgehog dodged it with a jump, mocking it, but Stone took the opportunity to lauch a missile from the motorcycle. It hit Sonic unaware, making him fall to the ground with the explosion.
Eggman turned to Amy, pointing at the smoke of the explosion. "See?! I told you he'd like missiles!" He exclaimed, but the girl didn't pay much attention to what he said. Instead, she ran to attack Stone. "Yeah, go ahead and leave me here talking to myself!," Eggman said, "I didn't need help anyway!"
Sonic got up and ran, joining his friends to attack the motorcycle that drove aimlessly around the place, shooting missiles and lasers everywhere. The attacks from Team Sonic only contributed to the destruction of the burger place, though, which Eggman was sure was Stone's goal.
"Intelligent and competent," Eggman noted, "what an impressive man."
"Could you fight outside?" Dave exclaimed, "I don't get paid for this!"
"Never!" Stone exclaimed, shooting a laser near Dave's feet.
"Sonic, he is doing it on purpose to destroy the place!" Tails warned his friend, running closer to him. "We must leave!"
Sonic nodded and ran to the outside of the shop, followed closely by Stone. Right as the man was leaving, Sticks took the opportunity to jump at the motorcycle with a scream and hang on to it with her teeth.
"What?!" Stone looked behind him, only to see a badger with her teeth on his backseat, "get off my bike!!"
Sticks used her left hand to grab his motorcycle, while her right one started hitting it with her boomerang. Stone lifted his bike, trying to get rid of her, but she refused to budge.
"Sticks, you are going to fall!" Tails exclaimed, worried.
"What's wrong with you?!" Stone screamed, spinning in circles and shooting lasers everywhere. Some of them hit the entrance of the Meh burger, and a stray one hit Dave right as he walked out of the shop to see what was going on.
"Sticks, stop!" Sonic screamed, "this is making things worse!"
"I'M GONNA HELP!" Knuckles ran after them carrying a whole table.
"Oh, no, I'm not dealing with that guy too!" Stone said, doing a sharp turn to face Knuckles and shooting a missile at him. It missed the target and exploded the table instead, making the echidna freeze midrun in confusion.
"Hey, Mean Bean," Sonic mocked Stone to catch his attention, "try to catch me!"
The hedgehog turned around and ran. Stone caught the bait and turned around to follow him, ignoring the badger still clinging to the back of his bike. That was the moment Eggman decided to do something. He tiptoed to the eggmobile and removed that attrocious blue suit, satisfied with wearing just the white shirt under it. Throwing the bouquet aside, he started the eggmobile to follow them.
He reached them right as Sticks climbed behind Stone on the bike and lifted her boomerang in the air. "DEATH TO CAFFEINE!" She screamed, before hitting Stone's helmet once, twice, thrice.
"STOP!" Stone screamed in annoyance, trying to focus on the hedgehog running in front of them.
"I WILL PUT AN END TO YOUR EMPIRE OF EVIL COFFEE BEANS!" Sticks hit his helmet repeatedly "YOU CAN'T FOOL ME! I KNOW OF YOUR EVIL-" Eggman grabbed her with one hand, lifting her away from Stone. Sticks looked at him. "LET ME GO! I KNOW EVERYTHING! I KNOW HE IS USING EVIL COFFEE BEANS TO BRAINWASH EVERYONE IN THE ISLAND AND TURN THEM EVIL TO BUY MORE COFFEE FOR HIS EMPIRE OF COFFEE SHOPS-"
"Good for me!" Eggman threw her aside and followed Stone.
The time he wasted listening to Sticks was enough for Stone and Sonic to get locked in a fight with each other. The Eggmobile sped up and reached them, flying right by Sonic's side. It was a good thing Eggman had recalibrated the speed settings on it, he would be able to keep up with them as long as they didn't speed up more.
"Agent Stone!" Eggman shouted, catching Stone's attention.
"Uh, Excuse me," Sonic said between them, "I'm busy here-"
They both shot Sonic with a laser at the same time, sending the hedgehog rolling away.
"Agent Stone," Eggman said, "I've watched your fight. I must say I'm impressed. And this motorcycle... did you build it yourself?"
"Thank you, doctor! Your work is inspiring to me!"
Eggman felt himself blush at the admiration. He was sure other people in the island admired his work — how couldn't they? He was a genius — but he never met anybody brave enough to say that to him directly. That should be the perfect opportunity for Eggman to approach him.
Eggman gathered all his courage to ask the question: "Then would you like to..." Eggman hesitated for a second, before locking eyes with him, "...to be my henchman?"
Stone gave him the most beautiful smile. "I'd love that more than anything, sir."
Eggman's heart skipped a beat. Amy was right, he was down bad.
"COULD YOU BOTH STOP?!" Sonic appeared from nowhere, hitting the eggmobile with a spin dash from below. The hit sent Eggman flying and screaming.
Everything spinned around Eggman. He closed his eyes — though nobody could see it under the glasses — and waited for his body to hit the ground.
Suddenly, there was an engine sound and strong arms grabbed him. Eggman opened his eyes and found himself in Stone's arms. There was cheering, and Eggman recognized the voices of Tails, Knuckles and Amy among them, but didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was Stone's big eyes looking at him.
"Why are you cheering?! We were fighting them!" Sonic sounded stressed, "I give up!"
After a minute of staring at eachothers eyes, Eggman got off Stone's lap and frowned, trying to hide the blush on his face. "See you tomorrow at eight on my base. Better not be late for your new job! And bring me my latte."
"Understood, sir," Stone said, smile unfaltering on his face.
He turned around to leave, but before he got to the — sightly destroyed — eggmobile, he looked at Stone for one last time and smiled back at him.
"Yeah, I guess Stone was another villain after all," Amy said to Sonic, "and Eggman is not going to turn good for him, maybe he is gonna turn worse, but... they are kinda cute, I guess?" She smiled nervously at him.
Sonic stared back at her with crossed arms, covered in dirt from the fight and with his quills sightly scorched by the lasers and missiles.
Before anyone could reply, Dave showed up behind them, holding a piece of paper. "Someone has pay for the damages at the burger shop, and it's not gonna be me."
Dave showed them the paper. They both widened their eyes as they saw the numbers.
Uhh... leave that on Eggman's tab," Sonic said, before him and Amy ran away.
"Aw, come on!" Dave exclaimed. "You- You are going to feel my revenge someday!"