Chapter Text
Foolish felt his body again, felt it come back anew like it has hundreds of times before. He felt the familiar bed under him before anything else, before the general sounds of the castle and what sounded like his fellow yellow. It was a struggle to open his eyes and after what felt like forever he managed to get them open.
Beyond the glare of yellow on the canopy he notices in the corner of his eyes a light coming from part of the room that he has never put a light. Odd . He tries to get up and see the source but pain strikes through his neck and it all comes rushing back ; Owen leading him so far out, the room, the unbelievable contract, Owen confessing his crimes, all the greens appearing and the great-axe swinging at him . He was beheaded..again. What was it with people beheading him?
Each time he died and came back he usually came back good as new (just tired) except for the first couple days after resurrection where the killing blow leaves phantom pains..beheading was an exception though. After the first time he was beheaded it was quite a shock to find out that it left an ugly scar on his neck that never went away, he supposes it makes sense, it’s quite a big thing to recover from.
He sighs, he knows from experience his neck won't feel comfortable for a bit, though he notes it does feel more painful then the other times. He takes care in his movement, making sure to not jolt it too much. As he gets out of bed his attention is again diverted to the light in the corner of the room. A lantern hangs with a sign next to it. dont lose ur light :) - aimee (beacon) .
He quickly realizes that the lantern is his lantern, the one he uses to light everything. His heart warms at his gesture, though how they got that lantern in the first place when he died so far away confuses him. He wonders what chaos ensued after his death or if anyone in the kingdom knows what happened. Based on the last time when he sacrificed his life to red, he doubts it.
He makes his way to his chests, hoping that he has an extra armour set in one of them and stops in his tracks when he sees his helmet, chestplate and pants on his armour stand with unfamiliar boots. There’s another sign. Your armour :p. He doesn't know who did this but he does once he takes a closer look at the boots. Zam . If Zam also got his armour he's starting to think that maybe green was more forthcoming about his demise this time though he can't fathom why.
What matters more is that people are expecting him, they left signs of their care for him and the feeling settles into his bones like a hug. That feeling quickly dissipates when he absentmindedly glances at the mirror beside his stuff and he freezes. His neck is more gruesome than anticipated, a third neck scar has been added to the collection, puckered golden scar lines one on top of the other. The newest one was the highest, more visibly irritated and more jagged than the others..the Jester did not take his head off in one clean blow, it was crude work. It explains why it feels more painful.
It’ll be harder to conceal the scars and he feels his panic rise and dread settles in his chest. Panic? I don’t panic. He takes a few breaths and works himself off the ledge. He roughly puts those emotions into the corner of his mind. He will deal with this like he always does. Now he just needs to find something that will cover the scars.
As he riffles through his things he starts to get more and more frustrated once he can’t find something that would cover everything and he decides he needs to dig deep into things he’s not worn for a century. At last he finds a gold plate choker necklace with obscene gems from days where he ruled over the sands. He cringes..it would cover everything but it’s so out of touch with the time now it would draw attention and questions but he thinks he can come up with a believable reason to wear it.
As soon as it clasps on he regrets it. The feeling of something around his neck when it’s just so freshly scarred gets his panic to rise again but he pushes it back down, he focuses on the pain of the metal pressing into his scar, the pain is more bearable than the panic that would ensue. He will get through the next couple days dammit, he has before, nothing is different about this time.
_____________
Foolish pauses behind the doors to the throne room. He can hear a couple of voices inside, it’s Ros and Sneeg. He’s thankful that it’s only his fellow Fools..he’s tired, coming back to life is no easy feat. He takes a deep breath, plasters a smile on his face and walks right in. Their conversation grinds to a halt when they see him
“King!! Ros says. She barrels into him for a hug. It catches him off guard and he loses his balance for a second before he regains it. The sudden movement hurts his neck but he tries his best to conceal it. He hesitantly returns the hug.. huh when was the last time he was hugged? He tries not to think too hard about Leo it. Over Ros’ shoulder he sees Sneeg hanging back, tapping on his communicator, no doubt informing the rest of Yellow around that he’s returned.
“Whoa there Ros” he awkwardly laughs. She quickly gets out of his space.
“I’m sorry, I just got so excited. You’re back!”
“Of course, I'm a Totem” Ros beams. Sneeg walks up to him and scans him head to toe assessing his condition. He lingers a little on his choker but he doesn’t say anything.
“I never had any doubt in my mind” the smith says and even though it sounded confident he’s pretty sure the tension leaves his body. Foolish gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. He hears more voices now approaching the throne room, it sounds like Tina and Clown.
“Oh thank God” Tina says as soon as she sees him. The stress is so palpable in her voice that he almost feels guilty. Clown does the same thing as Sneeg and scans him, though lingering longer. He’s usually uncomfortable with Clown’s unreadable assessing looks; it always gives him a pit in his stomach. Butterflies It’s butterflies. He bats the thought away. Right now he indulges his stubborn Archmage for the time being.
“You’re okay” The relief in Clown’s voice makes him smile.
“Always am” Clown tilts his head as if not believing it. Foolish decides to pointedly ignore it and finally notices Zam, he’s lingering behind and unusually quiet. It’s silent for a few awkward moments and he decides to fill the silence.
“Zam..you doing okay?” he seems to perk up at that
“You remember me?” Foolish is confused but then he sees the guilty look on Ros’ face and oh.
“Of course I remember you” he says ever so gently. But the visible relief that floods Zam’s body and the way her eyes shine..that does make him feel guilty. He’d just adopted him and then went and died.
“I’m glad” Zam’s hands twitch as if it’s deciding to seek his comfort or not. Foolish decides he needs it. After putting him through his first rodeo with his complicated relationship with death it’s the least he can do.
“Come here” and opens his arms in invitation. Zam is quick to get into his embrace and even though Zam is not a small person, he feels small curled up in his chest.. Foolish lets his head rest on Zam’s head. This is comforting.
“If you hadn’t remembered me I think I would have hunted down all of green” he whispers
“I mean you can still do that.” he chuckles “Thank you for the armour by the way..how’d you get it?” They were interrupted before any explanation was given.
“Aimsey?” Ros says. Zam quickly get’s out of his embrace and looks away. He’s pretty sure he’s trying to compose himself. Foolish turns and stands in front of Zam, blocking his view from Aimsey who is awkwardly standing at the entrance.
“I just came to see..is this a Kingdom thing? I can go” He looks back at Zam who seems to have composed himself more or less. Zam nods at him.
“You can stay” his response surprises everyone else. “How about we sit?” and to everyone’s continued surprise, Foolish doesn’t take his place on the throne but with them in the seats. Zam sits closest to him, needing his presence while Clown and Sneeg sit on opposite sides of him. His protectors . He looks at all his Fools and Aimsey and it warms his heart to know all of them are here for him.
“What do you guys know?”
“Basically everything, Pangi told me everything he knew, it’s where I got your armour.” Zam explained. Foolish supposes Zam and Pangi’s prior connection is the only reason they know anything at all.
“I just have one question.” says Sneeg.
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you tell any of us anything, we would have happily backed you up.”
“You would have backed me up and what? I had an inkling he was leading me to a trap and if you guys had backed me up it would have turned into a fight, Bad and Pangi are pretty powerful, there would be a good chance one of you gets killed I-.
“You’re our King, we would do so for you.” argues Sneeg. Clown and Zam agree with him.
“No.” he says firmly “I’m sorry for causing this worry but I do not want that on my conscience. I don’t want anyone to die for me. I created this mess of a game and I didn’t want to drag anyone with me.” The energy shifts in the room.
“But we’re a team..a family, we help each other” starts Ros
“You could have at least told us something was happening” continues Clown. He pins him with a stare.
“Answer me honestly..if I had told you something and said not to follow me, would you disobey my word and secretly have followed me anyway?” Clown is quiet for a few moments, hands fidgeting, no doubt contemplating whether to tell the truth or not. Clown sighs.
“Yes,” he whispered. Foolish nods, he thought so. Sneeg looks like he wants to say more but it seems that the news of his return had spread because he heard multiple people pass through the castle doors. Sneeg doesn’t look happy with this development and the look he sends his way clearly says their conversation isn’t done.
Foolish gets up and takes his place on the throne, he has to appear strong and kingly for the masses. Soon Bekyamon emerged, no doubt looking to write something for her paper along with a bunch of the factionless and the Dwarven kingdom. It seemed all of the realm was in the throne room except for green. There were more people than he’s ever had in here.
He was immediately overwhelmed and the choker he was wearing was not helping nor was the constant throb of pain in his neck. There were so many probing questions, remarks and jokes thrown his way and he was sure Becky would not paint him in a good light.
“This might be an odd question but why are you wearing that ridiculous choker?” and he swore his pain flared, serving as a reminder..as if he can forget, he tries to keep a straight face. He absentmindedly touches his neck again.
“I was feeling nostalgic”
“Nostalgic?”
“Yeah! I wore it a long time ago, I just wanted to spice things up”
“You want more spice after dying??” The pain flares again and he feels lightheaded along with overwhelmed.
“Yeah” his voice slightly shakes, he hopes no one notices. The pain is getting really hard to ignore, he was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe. Don't panic, don't panic in front of everyone. He accidentally locks eyes with Clown and he doesn’t know what Clown sees but not even a moment later.
“Alright everyone out!” demanded Clown.
“What?
“Why?”
“The King just came back from the dead, let him acclimate” Sneeg plays along.
“But”
“No but’s..out!” Sneeg pulls out his spear and that seems to do the trick. People fill out the castle, the only people left are the Fools. He shakily stands up and tries to act like everything is fine, walks to his room as fast as he can without causing concern.
“King?” calls out Clown. Foolish doesn’t hear him, too focused on not panicking. As soon as he crosses the threshold of his room he tries to take huge breaths but can’t, his panic increases along with the pain. His hands shake so much that he can’t take off his choker either, he feels so trapped by this simple thing, his vision goes blurry with tears. He’s so in his head he doesn’t hear the door open and a couple footsteps following.
“My liege?” Clown tries again, Sneeg and Zam are close behind him but Foolish doesn’t notice any of it. He grabs at his throat and presses a little, the increase of pain slightly dulling his panic. Clown moves quickly into his vision and gently but firmly grabs his wrist from off his throat. Foolish startles at his presence, eyes widening, tears falling and panics even more at the thought of having an audience but Clown’s commanding grip prevents him from doing anything.
“Foolish” he whispers “It’s okay..breathe”. Clowns grip grounds him a little but he can’t breathe with the choker around his neck. Clown takes one look at the choker and reads his mind. He lets go to unclasp it and as soon as the pressure is off it feels like he’s been set free, the cool air against his skin is one of the best things he’s ever felt but the feeling is muted because he still can’t breathe and he immediately tries to grab his throat again but Clown grabs his wrists before they get there.
His scars are now fully exposed and Clown seems to freeze for a split second before getting back to helping Foolish. Clown guides one of Foolish’s hands to rest on his chest and lets go of the other wrist to put his own hand on Foolish’s chest, feeling each other's heartbeat.
Upon seeing the scars Zam lets out a wounded sound, his face falling and Sneeg has gone impossibly still, a murderous look on his face.
“I’m going to murder green” mumbles Zam. Sneeg takes another moment to analyzing the scars and Clown before turning to Zam.
“Let’s go find them, Clown’s got it” Sneeg’s voice sounds like ice, so very unlike him. They both quietly leave them.
“Try to breathe with me, focus on my heartbeat” Clown’s voice has turned hoarse. He clears his throat and takes deep breaths. The warm hands of his Archmage feels like a comforting hug, a beacon of safety. It’s been a while since he felt that. He tries his best to match Clown’s breath, and it takes a few minutes for the fire in his lungs to slowly but surely get extinguished and the tightness fades. He takes huge gulping breaths.
“There you go” murmurs Clown and with one hand he gently wipes away Foolish’s tears, Foolish subconsciously leans into his hand for comfort. Clown stops breathing as he once again focuses on Foolish’s scars, swallowing hard. With his other hand he reaches out for Foolish’s neck. Foolish senses it and quickly grabs Clowns wrist to stop him. It causes Foolish to get out of his haze and the situation sets in, he turns away, shame rushing through him.
“Foolish”
“I’m sorry you had to see that”
“We all have bad days” he reasons
“Not the King, I have to be strong, I shouldn’t need protection” Clown quickly moves to stand in front of Foolish and looks him in the eye.
“Isn't that my job though? Your Archmage protector?” Foolish huffs.
“You mean the Kingdoms” He starts turning away. Clown grabs his wrist and forces Foolish to look at him.
“No, I mean you. I serve you” he whispers, the sincerity makes Foolish’s heart skip a beat and there is a pit no it’s butterflies in his stomach. “Even if what you need protecting from is yourself”
“That’s pathetic, I’m pathetic” Foolish tries to get some distance, Clown’s grip won't let him.
“Not in my eyes” Foolish scoffs “In my eyes you are perfect” he murmurs and that causes Foolish’s heart to go into overdrive, he blushes and quickly gestures to himself and more specifically his neck.
“This is perfect?” he tries to argue. Clown is incredibly still for a moment before he lets go of his wrists and steps back. He reaches up and unclasps his mask. Foolish stares wide-eyed as he takes it off, he’s never seen Clown without it. Clown looks up and stares directly at him. He doesn’t know what he expects but not this. His face is all angles, his hair is wavy, pitch black and falls just under his ears. His eyes are the color onyx and on the left side of his face is a deep scar, it almost matches the one around his neck. He’s beautiful
He pins him with an unreadable stare, its power even more magnifying without the mask .Foolish without thinking reaches out to touch his scar, Clown lets him, his eyes fluttering closed for a second and swallows hard.
“We all have scars to bear. It’s nothing to be ashamed of” Clown grabs Foolish’s wrist on his face. “You are perfect,” he reiterates. The butterflies go crazy, he steps out of Clown’s space, swallowing hard, he needs a moment. Clown lets it go and nods at his neck.
“It looks inflamed, would you let me treat it?” Foolish stops moving and contemplates.
“Sure
“Come here” Clown gestures for him to sit at the edge of his bed. Clown grabs his supplies and drags a stool between Foolish’s legs, his heart jumps. Get your mind out the gutter. Clown lightly feels his scar and despite the situation his touches are electrifying. Clown grabs a cold cloth and pats down his throat, the coolness feels amazing, he hums.
“So Owen beheaded you huh, it’s a little cliche” Clown tries to make light of the situation because if he doesn’t, all he will see is red and Foolish needs his care. Foolish chuckles
“Yeah”
“And these older scars?” he puts the cloth away and grabs a concoction of some kind.
“People seem to really like beheading. Personally I’m not a fan” he teases. Clown laughs. The deep timber of his laugh is comforting, it’s always been comforting and the way his face lights up, it’s like seeing the sun shine, and he has dimples, oh he’s a sucker for dimples.
“I see”. He takes the lid of what looks like a salve. With one hand Clown lightly grabs his neck for leverage, his thumb falling just under his ear. Oh . His heart beats faster and he’s sure Clown can feel it. With his other hand Clown he starts applying the salve to his neck, he is laser focused, face close. Foolish tries to push back the shame and savor the feeling of being cared for again and he likes it. It's because it's Clown.
The salve already begins to work and the throbbing pain he’s been feeling the entire time subsides. When Clown is finally finished and glances up to look at Foolish, the tender look on his King's face makes him stop dead in his tracks. Their faces are incredibly close and it’s hard to miss when Foolish's eyes drop to his mouth. Clown’s breath hitches.
“Are you sure my liege?”
“Yes” he whispers and Clown immediately closes the incredibly short distance. Their kiss is tender and hesitant, like a cool summer breeze. One of Foolish’s hands is tangled in his hair and he tugs a little bit. It spurs him to put his other hand on his neck and deepen the kiss. Foolish lets out a pathetic noise that causes Clown to smile into the kiss and they break apart, foreheads leaning against each other.
“What does this mean?” asks Clown
“Who knows.”