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Jackie Taylor was a normal girl. She puts up posters in her bedroom. She rewatched Titanic more than was strictly healthy. She plays soccer with her team a few times a week. She has a great boyfriend. She has wanted a pet bunny since she was five. She was invited to parties. She likes ice cream. She has a best friend.
She has sleepovers with that best friend once a week. She knows her parents think it’s weird, some kids at school do, Jeff definitely does. So maybe she spends more time with Shauna than most best friends do, but they just don’t have the same connection. Shauna and Jackie aren’t just some pair of high school besties. They are friends for life, she will share a dorm with her in college, give a speech at her wedding, let their kids be best friends. Nothing will ruin that, and she doesn’t have to explain that to her parents or Jeff.
Her parents at first thought she was pitying Shauna. The quiet girl who kept a journal and a fantasy book clasped tightly in her arms, whose brown eyes blinked softly, her hair falling in her face. She remembered meeting her in middle school. How Shauna had sat in the back of the classroom, her gaze always wandered but never dared to make eye contact.
Jackie had tried for several weeks to get her to notice her. She wasn’t sure why. She had friends who were kind to her, boys that gave her flowers they picked from outside. Yet all she wanted were for those eyes to stare back at her. And one day they did. Shauna was shy at first but with time she and Jackie grew to be friends, and then best friends, who have weekly sleepovers.
They were watching a movie together tonight. They had written a list of every movie they wanted to see together on little folded sheets of paper and put them in a jar. She had even written “S + J Movie Jar” on it in swoopy cursive. They had picked the movie in advance so Shauna could swing by the video store Van worked to rent it.
She heard a knock on her door from downstairs. Her heart hammered, just a bit. Okay maybe hammering was the wrong word. Her heart did something? But it was normal, like Jackie. She left her room and went down the stairs at an even pace. Opening the door and seeing Shauna standing there with a backpack on her arm and holding a VHS tape in her free hand.
“I got the last copy of The Breakfast Club, wasn’t even out front I had to beg Van to go and let me rent it.”
“Perfect! I put some snacks out on the table and got some blankets.”
Jackie had watched the movie before, she found her eyes drifting to Shauna as it played. She had mentioned once she had never watched it and Jackie told her it was a crime, she had to see such a classic. She wrote it on the little slip of paper and only hoped it would get picked one day.
She had enjoyed watching it the first time around but the dialogue was familiar and Shauna was so much more interesting. She sat against her couch with her knees pulled to her chest, watching the screen intently.
She was beautiful. She had known this for years. She didn’t understand why so many people at school didn’t. Not even Shauna acknowledged it. Jackie had tried to tell her how pretty she was time and time again but she always brushed it off and changed the subject. People must be blind. Her hair was so soft and her eyes, god her eyes.
She went back to watching the TV because it is only socially acceptable to stare at your best friend for a certain amount of time.
She watches the movie for another thirty minutes before it starts to get boring again. She really doesn’t get Claire and John being together. He’s a complete asshole and they’ve spent what a day in detention together?
She turns to Shauna again. She can’t help it, her eyes are pulled in her direction, like she’ll disappear if she doesn’t check for a minute. No surprise she’s still sitting there, watching the movie.
She is gorgeous sitting with the light from the screen reflecting on her face. Her hair is just slightly tussled and her lips. Wait what?
She glances away and then glances back, her eyes fall back to her lips. Her stomach has an odd feeling and she wants to be closer to her. She wants to touch her in some way. Her lips. Why are her lips so intriguing? It’s not like she wants to kiss her.
Oh fuck.
Jackie Taylor has admittedly not had a good week. She stayed up all night on Saturday turning in her bed thinking of the girl laying next than a foot away from her. She had a date with Jeff the next day, the lack of sleep added to what Jeff called a “pissy mood”. They had gotten into a fight and she walked home from some shitty diner Jeff had insisted was amazing. She wouldn’t say it to anyone but sometimes she liked the arguments they had. She couldn’t deal with him all the time. He was too clingy, his presence was too overpowering. If she had to have a boyfriend she should at least have little moments of freedom, right? Who actually wants to be with their boyfriend all the time?
She had a math test on Monday she was convinced she bombed, and her thoughts were confirmed when she got her test back on Thursday. Her teacher slid it upside down with a sympathetic look on her face.
Not to mention they had a game coming up they were going to lose. It was her job as captain to keep morale up but she knew her doubt cracked through her voice. Coach Scott’s way of trying to give them a fair chance meant making them practice on a Friday night, from the end of school until sundown.
She appreciated the hope he had in them but honestly her week had been absolutely terrible, between tests, soccer, and wanting Shauna near her every second and also wanting her as far away she just wanted a fucking break.
But Jackie was supposed to be happy, she was most of the time. Whatever those weird feelings that arose around Shauna were would dissipate and she would return to being normal. She walked into the locker room with a polite smile on her face.
Natalie and Lottie were playing music, arguing over what song on the album was the best. Their opinionated personalities led the conversation from quiet comments to almost yelling. Taissa and Van were talking softly to each other, laughing. She wasn’t close friends with either but she saw her and Shauna in them and felt a kinship. Laura Lee bopped her head to the beat coming from the VHS. Shauna raised her head and smiled at her upon entering the room. Something inside Jackie tugged. Probably nothing.
They played a good practice. Emphasis on they as a whole because Jackie as an individual did not. She was pissed, soccer was her safe space. All else could fade, she could lose herself in the game and her goal. She knew she wasn’t the best on the team but she never really cared. She loved it so what did it matter?
She was also never the worst, today she was. Even Allie played better than her. She walked back to the locker room with her head down and went into the shower first, not looking behind her to see what other people’s reactions were.
“What’s her problem?” She heard Tai’s voice ring over the sound of the shower.
“Probably trouble in paradise.” Nat responded.
“Her boy problems better not cost us the game.” Tai said.
“We had a good practice still, we have time anyway.” Shauna jumped to her defense.
The conversation dies and the girls start preparing to leave, the excitement for their weekend overtaking their feelings about the game.
The next week at school she sits at her usual lunch table. Jeff has his arm wrapped around her shoulder. She had forgiven him for their fight, reluctantly. Shauna sat next to her, she kept her head down and buried in a book. She had started it this morning and Jackie could tell she was over halfway done with the massive thing. Randy usually sat across from Jeff but was absent at the moment, she was grateful for it. A few girls she considered friends shared the table as well along with Jeff’s friends.
“I got us the movie.” Randy exclaimed, walking up to their table and taking a seat in his usual spot.
“What movie?” a girl asked.
“Me, Jeff, and the guys and going to watch a movie for my birthday. Super popular so I didn’t think I’d get it but I asked Van to put it on hold and gave her 10 bucks.”
The girl scrunched her nose, “Why would you ask her?”
“Because she works at the video store.”
“Yeah but she’s…” She trailed off.
“You know,” Another chimed in, almost a whisper.
“A what?” Jackie said. She wasn’t close with Van but she admired her and didn’t want people to have some wrong idea about one of her teammates.
Her voice was still low, “A dyke.”
“What?”
“Come on Jackie. You play soccer with her. Honestly I’m surprised you never talk about it. I mean you’re both on the team and she must be like, looking at you guys.”
“She’s not.”
“I mean just look at her.”
She glanced at her from across the cafeteria. She was sitting next to Nat, the two engaged in conversation with Taissa at her side. She glanced over her textbook while stealing a look at Van, smiling at whatever the two are speaking about. She looks like she always does. She could be rude at times but she meant well. She could better the mood of any person or room with just her presence. Hell Taissa was evidence for it. And this girl whose name she can’t even remember at the moment is whispering her name like she’s done some heinous crime.
“Why does it matter?”
She scoffs, “It’s disgusting.”
“Cool it will you?” Jeff steps in. She might have appreciated him coming to her aid but her temper is only soured with a reminder of him.
Shauna is staring at her now giving her a strange look. She scans the rest of the table to find everyone's eyes on her.
“I have to go, French test.” She gets up and walks out of the cafeteria, her steps carrying a little more force than needed.
She walks through the halls and up the stairs in outrage and disbelief. How could someone speak that way about her? She was a tomboy for sure. She hadn’t ever had a boyfriend. Those didn’t mean anything. Even if she was, she wasn’t disgusting.
What did it mean if Jackie wanted to kiss her best friend? Was she like that? She couldn’t even say the word in her head.
She got to the French door and realized class started in another fifteen minutes. She slumped against the lockers.
Jackie pushed the thoughts away for the remainder of the day until the final bell rang. She saw a glimpse of red.
“Hey” she called to Van who was walking ahead of her.
Jackie had raced to catch up with her so they could walk together. Van turned and furrowed her brow upon seeing Jackie.
“Hi?”
“Uh can I walk with you?”
“Sure.”
She maybe should have thought about a segue topic in advance. She didn’t. So now they walked together in silence.
“How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Same.”
The silence falls over them once again.
“Do you like a boy?” Jackie didn’t realize she had said it until Van had stopped walking and turned to her. Wow Jackie, you’re on a roll today.
“Look Taylor, I’m not entertaining whatever prank your group is doing. That’s low even for you.”
“No, I’m serious. You know girl talk?”
“No offense, we aren't really friends.”
“I know I just.” She paused, “People were saying stuff about you and being…”
“A dyke?”
“Yeah.” her voice came out small.
“And you’re worried I’m in love with you?”
“No it’s just-”
“Look Jackie I have to go, pleasure talking with you, message understood, I’ll keep my distance.”
The next movie night Shauna and Jackie have goes about the same as the last. Shauna shows up on her doorstep brandishing the VHS. They take a seat on the couch together, this time watching Scream. Jackie is not a horror fan but she will watch it for Shauna. At the jump scares she grasps her arm and Shauna moves closer to her, offering her hand out. Jackie grasps it and averts her eyes so Shauna can’t see the blush rising on her cheeks just from their intertwined fingers. She moves closer to Shauna with the progression of the film and soon enough she is resting against her shoulder, trying to discreetly breathe in the smell of her shampoo. Jackie knows she is only a few inches from her lips. She could move her head just slightly and capture them. She wants to, she really wants to. Instead she holds her hand tighter and Shauna squeezes back thinking the display on the TV is the cause. If only she knew.
***
Jackie Taylor is being weird. Van had never considered Jackie a friend, she didn’t really want to be friends with her. They both had a responsibility on the field and she was fine with their relationship staying that way. But then Jackie walked home with her the days she didn’t have her truck and now she is walking to classes with her sometimes, asking about her job, about school work, when she knows damn well Van has no more of an idea than she does. If anything she’s more clueless.
The others have noticed it too. Tai had started calling “Taylor alert” when she approached them with a polite smile. She thinks Jackie is trying to apologize for the walk home together but that was almost two weeks ago. Shauna has noticed as well and seems to take annoyance to the fact her best friend is spending less time with her. Like she wants Jackie and her pathetic boyfriend following her to History.
In English class their teacher tells them to pair up and analyze the events in William Golding’s life that influenced Lord of the Flies. She has already turned her gaze to Tai who is looking right back at her, before her gaze gets obstructed by a certain blonde. In Jackie’s seat sits Randy talking to Shauna.
“Can I work with you?”
A boy has already gone up to Tai and sat with her, she tosses Van an apologetic look. She lets out a small sigh.
“Okay, do you want to do the writing or should I?”
After practice that day Van hung back with Tai. The two waited until all of their teammates had left.
“Finally.”
Van grins at her and Tai moves closer, running her hands through her hair softly and moving in. Tai brushes their lips together once before kissing her. She grasps Tai’s waist and Tai backs her against the locker as their kisses grow more heated. Van slips her tongue into her mouth and Tai makes a small noise, holding Van impossibly closer.
She doesn’t know how long they stand there, pressed to the locker, swiping their tongues against one another, in each other's arms with need but tenderness.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”
Van is inclined to agree. With Tai’s rigorous coursework and Jackie following Van around like a lost puppy they haven’t gotten the chance to spend as much time together as they’d like.
Van doesn’t give her a response, she just guides her back into another kiss.
The two leave the locker room some time later. Van offers Tai a ride home as she always does and she happily accepts, giving them an excuse to not be alone yet.
“I meant to ask you a while ago. What’s with Jackie?”
“Her trailing me?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t really know. A few weeks ago she got all weird and asked me if I liked any boys. Then told me she heard some rumors about me. I think she feels bad about how she asked or something.”
“She better not be trying to steal you.”
Van snorted.
“Jackie Taylor a lesbian?”
“You never know.”
She gave her a skeptical look.
“Have you seen her and Shauna together? They look gayer than we do sometimes.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You thought I was straight.”
“For a time but there were definitely some signs.”
Tai scoffs, “Like what?”
“The way you looked at me.”
“I didn’t look at you any particular way.”
“Yeah you did, I wasn’t sure until you kissed me.”
“Whatever it’s not my fault you’re hot.”
Van smirks and her cheeks tinge as they arrive at Tai’s house. Tai glances outside her window to check if anyone can see them, when she decides it’s safe she leans over the dashboard kissing Van quickly before waving goodbye and going inside.
The Yellowjackets had team bonding at times. There was originally an organization for them, right before a game or one a month. Over time Jackie was the only one who hosted it so she chose when to have it, needless to say it was quite sporadic.
She didn’t really understand the purpose of team bonding, a lot of them were friends. Van was friends with Nat, and Lottie to a degree. If someone asked her Tai was her best friend. The sophomores were close, same with the freshman.
The bonding had never actually upset her. It did sometimes become awkward because for some reason girl talk is supposed to include talking about boys which is quite contradicting in her opinion. They hadn’t had a team bonding meeting in a few months. She shouldn’t have been surprised when Jackie approached her in the halls.
She looked her usual bubbly self, dirty blonde hair bouncing and smiling. “Are you free Saturday night?”
“Yep.” she said popping the p.
“There is team bonding at my place. 7 PM don’t be late.”
She gives Jackie a brief smile before turning and joining Nat to walk to Physics. She feels bad for Jackie, she really is nice. She’s a good captain for the team (though she’d never tell Tai) and a good friend to Shauna.
Van has dealt with homophobes her whole life and Jackie had made her apology clear with the walking her to class, volunteering to work together in class, sending her encouraging words on the field, and the waving. It’ll pass with time.
It was supposed to be team bonding. But then Jeff invited himself, and Jeff invited his friends, and his friends invited their girlfriends, who invited their friends. So it was just a party. Jackie had apologized to the team profusely and promised to have a real team bonding the next weekend.
The party was fine at first, Tai and Van sat in a corner together. Lottie and Laura Lee were near them. She thinks Lottie felt bad that Jackie dragged her to this party with things she and her parents would disapprove of. Laura Lee is excitedly rattling summaries of her favorite Christian movie while Lottie’s eyes never move from her. She would think it was just out of politeness if it wasn’t for the way Lottie looked at her with rapt attention.
Nat was sitting on the couch with Kevyn, passing a joint between the two of them. They were sat in Jackie’s family room which Van has learned is what rich people call it when they have two living rooms. She can hear the yelling coming from their classmates.
She can imagine Jackie standing in her living room. Red solo cup in her hand, Jeff with his arm around her, watching intently as she recalls some vacation story. Shauna wouldn’t be far from her with Randy trying to make contact in some way. She can picture the annoyed look on her face perfectly.
It isn’t long before Jackie comes in to check on them. “I know this isn’t what we had planned but it can still be fun right?”
They try to protest but Jackie does that weird look that makes it known that the question she is asking you isn’t really a question. They filter out of the family room (second living room) and are greeted with the main party. Which is a very polite way of saying teenage boys doing stupid shit and girls giggling at it.
Van didn’t have a problem with parties, she enjoyed them most of the time but Jackie had been off for a while and somehow was throwing the whole mood off.
Tai went over to the kitchen to grab them both drinks. She came back and plopped the cup into Van's hand. She took a sip.
“What is this?” She winces.
“Randy made it so I didn’t ask.”
“Good choice.”
They sip from their cups and loosen up slightly. Tai starts raving about her AP Calc Exam and Van knows nothing about what she’s saying but it's interesting anyway because Tai is the one that’s speaking. She nods her head and makes small remarks, happy to just hear her before she feels something wet on her shirt and sees a certain blonde staring at her shirt with wide eyes.
“Oh my god Van I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine Jackie.”
She starts grabbing paper towels and trying to dry her shirt for her. The more she wipes the worse the stain gets.
“I can get you another shirt.”
“Really I’m fine. It’ll dry.”
She’s already grabbed her wrist and dragged her up the stairwell. She can hear the voices of their classmates growing softer. She walks into her bedroom, throws open her dresser before shuffling to find something for Van to wear. She tosses cami's and pastel t-shirts before deciding on a plain shirt with a logo of some summer camp.
“The bathroom is right across the hall.”
“Thanks.”
She can tell it’s Jackie's personal bathroom by the flower stickers on the mirror and pink toothbrush. Van changes and cleans off the parts of her hair and skin that got wet. When she exits Jackie is standing the the doorway of her room. Van smiles and thanks her again before moving to go back downstairs.
“Wait-”
Van turns to meet her eyes.
“Could I talk to you?”
“Sure.” She follows Jackie into her room with confusion. Jackie takes a seat on her bed. She gestures for Van’s shirt and she offers it over. She holds it up to access it.
“I can clean this and get it to you on Monday.”
“Jackie you really don’t have to.”
“It’s not a problem.”
“Look I know you feel bad about what happened a few weeks ago. But it’s nothing.”
“Van-”
“That’s what this is about right?”
She drops the shirt and gives a slight nod.
“Seriously I get it, you’re sorry. It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
Van looks at her perplexed and Jackie collapses back against her bed gazing at the ceiling. She stares for a second before laying down next to her. The two lay together in a stillness both comfortable and not.
“Are you okay?” Van feels inclined to ask.
“Perfect.” Her voice has a slight crack.
The stillness returned.
“I wasn’t insulting you before. When I asked that I was really just curious.”
“Why?”
And she regretted saying it the moment she did. Fuck Tai was right. Why did she ever doubt her Tai was always right? Her thoughts are only confirmed when Jackie answers.
“I think I’m like you.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, she can feel the shame radiating off her and if she thought it wasn’t weird to hug Jackie she would.
“It’s not the worst thing in the world.”
Jackie gives a wet laugh. It’s only then Van realizes there were tears on her cheeks.
“I’m dead serious. I think anyone would take lesbian over an axe murderer.”
She giggles again making Van smile lightly with her small victory.
“How did you know you were?”
“I don’t know if I had a specific moment. People always said I was one but I didn’t really believe them, or care. I just had a combination of things and looked back on day, like fuck, yeah I’m a lesbian.”
“Like what moments?”
“Not understanding what was so interesting about boys. Thinking girls were better in every way. Wanting more than friendships with friends. Any of those make sense?”
“Yeah.” She sighed softly, “I thought I was normal for so long, but now. Maybe I was just trying to be because it's what everyone wanted from me. Everyone always had an idea of what I’m supposed to be and I was okay with it, but now.” She trails off.
Damn Jackie Taylor for actually not being some dim girl and having actual depth that Van could sympathize with.
“You don’t owe them anything.”
“It feels like I do.”
“It’s your life, not theirs. Who gives a fuck? You won’t know half of them once you graduate.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
Van had been told she was good at that, simplifying things and making them seem so miniscule. This was one of the moments she hoped it was working.
“Do you know who it is?”
“I could take a guess but…”
“So you know who?”
“I mean I didn’t think you were gay until like five minutes ago.”
“Is it obvious?”
She recalls the way Jackie sits close to Shauna, spends every waking hour with her. The inside jokes they had, they way that looked at each other.
“Only because she looks at you that way too.”
“No she doesn’t.” She doesn’t need to look over to know Jackie is blushing.
“You never know, if Jackie Taylor is gay anything is possible.”
“It doesn’t matter, it's not like I can secretly date her or something.”
Van snorts, “Why not?”
“Well because-” she turns her head towards Van. She knew her face gave it away. She tried to turn it so she couldn’t see, “Wait are you? Palmer! You have a girlfriend?”
“Wow, your faith in my love life hurts Taylor.” She holds her heart for dramatic effect.
“Shut up! I honestly didn’t know that could happen.”
“Of course it can!”
Jackie is full on laughing now and Van is happy to have caused it.
“I really do think she likes you back.”
“She doesn’t.”
“You can’t know if you never tell her.”
“I know but, but, I didn’t even know I was like this until like last month.”
“Been a hard month for you?”
“Oh my god you have no idea. I mean I always noticed her eyes but have you ever seen how pretty they are, like they are so big and brown and I know that sounds stupid but like they are so pretty. And her hair when she plays soccer, the way she talks about her favorite books.”
“I can’t believe I thought you were in love with Jeff.”
“She’s the kind of person you want to write poetry about but you suck at writing poetry and no words would do her justice but she deserves it so much. You know?”
“Yeah.” she smiles wistfully thinking of Tai downstairs.
“God what do I do?”
Van took a moment before deciding, “Come to the video store tomorrow around noon.”
Jackie looked at her strangely before agreeing. The sound of voices got louder and someone was calling Van’s name. They got up and Jackie pulled her into a hug.
“Thank you.”
She felt like a complete asshole. The last month of trying to avoid her, rolling her eyes when she walked over and Jackie just trusted her. Enough that Van was the first, right now only person who knows.
“No problem.”
She broke away from the hug moving to leave the room before sparing her one last smile. When she leaves Tai is standing outside the door.
“What took so long.”
“Jackie and I had different ways of trying to clean shirts. Safe to say it's thoroughly ruined.”
***
Jackie woke up feeling better than she had in a long time. She knew the irony of the situation considering she had stayed up late partying. Her house is likely trashed and she’ll have to clean it all herself.
Jeff would offer a hand but she didn’t want to see him, she wasn’t sure exactly what to do about him.
She lifted her head that felt light and a bit heavy to see the clock that rested on her bedside table.
“Shit!”
It was almost eleven and she had to be at the video store by twelve. She hopped in the shower, only shampooing and conditioning it once. For the average day it would be a scandal but today she is glad to be out of the house faster. Half an hour later she is ready to go. She grabs her bike and makes her way to the video store. She doesn’t exactly know why Van asked her to come but just telling someone and having them understand meant something to her. She didn’t know Van well but she had never spoken so kindly or carefree with her. God it just felt good to have someone know.
She enters at twelve on the dot. The bell rings when she swings it open. Her heart swells at the memories of coming here to pick a movie for her and Shauna. She remembered brushing her fingers against the titles, skimming the sections for their chosen movie, imagining Shauna laying her head on her shoulder and a blanket spread over their lap. Okay maybe she should have figured this out earlier.
At the counter Van is standing, impossible to miss with her fiery hair. She’s sorting movies behind the counter but turns upon hearing the door. She smiles at her and Jackie walks up the counter.
“So?”
“Right, I thought I could give you some things that might help you.”
Jackie furrows her brow.
Van leads her to a section of the store. It’s further towards the back, she can’t recall ever checking this section but she must have passed it a hundred times.
“Let's see.” Van bites her lip in concentration as she browses through the tapes. She has a look of triumph as she pulls out one. A few seconds later she has two VHS in her hand, holding them out to Jackie.
“What are these?”
“Romance movies.”
“There’s only women on the covers.”
“Exactly.”
“Wait, they make lesbian movies?”
“Yeah, they’re less popular but they exist, got to really look to find most of them.”
Jackie reads through the titles Desert Hearts and But I’m a Cheerleader.
“How much to rent them?” She blushes at her question. Oh god, what the fuck is she doing?
“Just don’t break them and return them when you can.”
“What?”
“Consider it a gift.”
“Thanks.”
When Jackie gets home she looks to see the actual damage done to her house from last night. It’s not that bad, no visible stains from anything. Certain things are out of place and there is trash but she could clean it up in an hour.
She could clean up so her parents don’t find out about the party and ground her or she could watch the movies. The house obviously is the most important option, her mother already hasn’t been the happiest about her English grade.
She picks up one of the tapes and reads the back. She does the same with the other. Cleaning really is the only choice, the practical one. But she does have a day until her parents return and she wouldn’t want them walking in on whatever happens in such movies. Van also said to return them when she could, the sooner the better. Really if she watched them she was doing everyone a favor.
She put the first tape Dessert Hearts into the TV and watched it flicker to life. She sat enraptured with it from start to finish. After the credits rolled she stared at the screen blinking and having a feeling she couldn’t place, everything just clicked. It all made so much sense. She took out the second VHS, But I’m a Cheerleader. She didn’t think she would like the second movie more. She didn’t think any movie could ever exist, especially make her feel that much.
She cleans her house afterwards on autopilot replaying the moments from the movies. She didn’t want to get her hopes up but was it possible? Two women in a relationship? The movies said so, Van had some girlfriend (she still wasn’t sure who but would be watching her friends a bit closer). By the time the house is put back together it is dark.
She rewatches the second movie, somehow paying more attention than the first time. She thinks it might just take the spot of Titanic. She goes to bed that night dreaming of wearing a pink uniform, whisked away to a such a place, dancing with Shauna at a bar, kissing her, sneaking into her bed. The lines between the characters of the movie and Jackie and Shauna blur.
She awakes in a sweat, throws off the covers and runs to her phone.
“Jeff?”
“Hey Jackie.”
“I’m breaking up with you.”
He sighs, “Come on Jackie.”
“No, I’m serious this time. We are done, forever.” She is surprised with the confidence in her voice.
“Wait-”
“Goodbye.”
She stares at herself in shock for a second before breaking out into a grin.
Jackie comes back to the video store about a week later. She has money clutched in her hand and offers it to her.
“I told you it’s okay.”
“I know, but I want to buy them.”
She chuckles, “You have good taste then.”
Van counts the money putting it into the register before handing her back the tapes.
“All yours.”
***
Van is not trailed by Jackie like a dog anymore. She is grateful for it and they have come to some sort of understanding. Jackie grew more comfortable in herself making jokes and trying to guess her girlfriend. Unfortunately it didn’t take her long to get it right because the way “you look at her like she’s the sun” according to Jackie.
She doesn’t realize they were actually together until about a month into their friendship. She had shown up early to practice hoping to have some time with Tia before the others arrived. Turns out Jackie and Shauna had a similar idea.
She heard soft noises and dismissed them, which really was a stupid move considering how many times she and Tai had been the one making those noises. She walks further and sees them sitting on a bench, if that’s even the right word, Jackie is practically in her lap. They are kissing, Jackie is clasping her shirt and Shauna is holding her neck and waist.
She walks out of the locker room catching Tai as she closes the door. She has her hair tied back ready to play and a bag slung over her shoulder.
“Something wrong?”
“Locker rooms taken today.”
“What? By who?”
“The other lesbians.”
It dawns on Tai’s face, “I fucking knew it!”
“Yes, you're always right.”
They give them space by walking around the school in winding circles.
“You know what this means right?”
“Please don’t say double dates.”
“We need to find a new place at school.”
“Tai, this school has so many random tiny rooms.”
“Guess we’ll just check them all.” Her voice is lower now.
She has leaned it closer, grasping her hand and leading her towards a door.
“Guess so.”