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Anakin has fought in many battles ever since the Clone Wars broke out. Sometimes, it feels as though the war has only gone on for months, and others, it’s as though it’s lasted for years. The galaxy is so different now, almost unrecognizable from what it used to be, and it’s almost mind-boggling, at times, to think about where he is from where he expected to be.
When he was still a padawan, never once could he have imagined that he’d end up the general of an army of clones who were created to fight for the Republic, but here he is. Here they are.
“Injured?” Anakin demands, scowling. He tries to keep his tone in check; Ahsoka is only bringing him the report. She’s not the one who he left in charge of the 501st. He instead fixes his glare on the bandages covering his leg. “I knew I should have gone.”
“Master Obi-Wan doesn’t need your rescuing this time,” Ahsoka chirps brightly.
Anakin makes a face. “No, but Rex does.”
Jesse just commed the cruiser to let them know that Rex was injured and left in the care of the locals while the rest of them rendezvous with Obi-Wan to hopefully pin down Grievous and put an end to him once and for all. Admittedly, Anakin is not particularly optimistic about their chances, not if Rex was already injured.
“Alright, Snips, maybe you can oversee the cleanup up here,” he suggests. He was meant to deal with the space battle, and he would have been out there personally if not for his injury. Maybe if he hadn’t been hurt, or if he’d gone out anyway, Rex wouldn’t have been shot. In the chest. He refuses to think about the possibility of him dying. That can’t happen. It can’t.
Ahsoka doesn’t seem very happy with the suggestion, but Anakin is already dragging himself out of his quarters to go down to the surface in a fighter. He’s not foolish enough to think that he can handle the Separatist forces, much less Grievous, when he’s injured. Better to leave that to Obi-Wan and the boys.
But that doesn’t mean he needs to leave Rex undefended, and Anakin flies down as soon as he can. The Force is tingling, a buzz of warning at the edge of his senses, telling him of an approaching danger. Is Rex in trouble?
He can’t quite tell, but he doesn’t want to leave it up to fate. Can they really trust the locals? If Rex is already hurt, it wouldn’t be hard to kill him, and Anakin needs him. Rex has become a close friend to him, and they work well together. He can’t fathom having to lead the 501st with anyone other than Rex.
When he touches down at the location where Rex was left, it’s to see a homestead. It’s mostly dark outside, and the Force is tingling even more strongly. There’s a danger close, even if he can’t pinpoint it.
Yet.
Movement through the plants catches his attention, and he spies assassin droids closing in on the homestead. The anxiety and fear radiating into the Force from inside the home betrays that the inhabitants are aware of the danger – which also means that they didn’t betray Rex. Whoever they are, they didn’t want to get dragged into the war, and Anakin feels a flash of pity for them. So many innocent people are being harmed, and it’s up to the Jedi and clones to put an end to this violence and protect the people who were entrusted to their care.
Anakin unclips his lightsaber, trying to adjust his stance to make up for the injury to his leg. It’s inadvisable for him to be doing this, but he doesn’t have a choice. He will not leave it up to an injured Rex and these civilians. He is a Jedi, and this is his duty. He will do anything to protect Rex, to protect the clones. Rex is one of his, and Anakin will do anything, anything to keep him safe.
The droids don’t notice him, and Anakin stays still and silent, watching as they draw nearer and nearer to the homestead and the innocents inside.
It’s only when the first one shoots that Anakin acts, igniting his lightsaber and flipping through the air to cut through two of them before they even realize that he’s there. His leg nearly buckles from under him when he hits the ground, pain stabbing through him sharply enough to take his breath away. It’s harder than normal, but it doesn’t take long before all the droids are demolished, either from his lightsaber or shots fired on the inside.
“Ow,” Anakin says with feeling when his leg gives out and he falls to his knees. It’s a lot more than a simple ow, but he would never express that aloud. He knows how to push through pain and physical discomfort. He’s done it ever since he was a child, and learning to be a Jedi has only enhanced that ability.
“General?”
A hand touches his arm, and Anakin lets out a breath of relief when he feels Rex’s Force presence next to his own. He’s here. He’s alive. He can’t lose Rex the way he lost his mother. He can’t lose any of them. Not Rex, not Ahsoka, not Obi-Wan. Not his other boys, either, and especially not the ones to whom he is closest.
“What are you doing here?” Rex continues, and Anakin can sense the tendrils of pain he’s working so hard to hide. He’s injured, even if he’s working through the pain just like Anakin.
“Looking for you,” Anakin replies. He inhales, letting the Force sweep through him as he exhales, trying to dispel the aching pain. He can feel it all the way down to his bone, yet he still grits his teeth and forces himself to stand.
“Kix will not be happy,” Rex points out, and Anakin huffs. He knew it, but he still came here because Rex needed him.
“He’ll be happy you didn’t get overrun by droids,” Anakin answers, squeezing Rex’s arm.
And then he turns to look around the cabin, freezing in place when he sees the clone standing there. He’s dressed like a civilian, and the two children clinging to him are obviously Twi’leki, yet they still seek him out as though he’s their father. It makes a knot of emotion rise in his chest, the picture of a family in front of him. It’s something that he wants so badly, though it’s something he doesn’t know when he’ll get.
It takes him a moment longer to realize what it means for there to be a clone here.
He’s a deserter.
By Republic law, deserters are to be arrested and taken in for court martial. Normally, they are sentenced to be reconditioned – or decommissioned. The Jedi might have stepped in to insist that no decommissionings will occur regardless of what the Senate wants, but they cannot get involved to save single clones who broke the law and violated their principles.
At least, Anakin thinks bitterly, this clone is not a traitor, and Anakin cannot fault him for choosing this kind of life.
“Thank you for helping us,” says a pink-skinned, female Twi’lek, stepping forward. “I never thought I’d meet a Jedi.”
Anakin bows to her. It’s entirely instinctive, a gesture of respect and acceptance of her thanks. “I hope we will be gone from your home before more trouble finds us. Thank you for taking in my captain.”
“Will you report my husband?” she asks quietly, looking toward the clone.
And Anakin… doesn’t know.
“How did he end up here?” he queries instead, because he would like to know what led this clone to leaving the army and finding a life outside.
“Suu, why don’t you get the kids settled?” the clone interrupts. “The Jedi and I will go for a walk and check the perimeter.”
Anakin understands what he’s doing. This isn’t a conversation to be having in front of children, and he nods his agreement. When he glances at Rex, the captain’s face is oddly blank, though Anakin can feel a storm of emotion inside of him. Whatever happened between him and the clone has left him more on edge and shaken than Anakin has seen him in a long time. They’ll have to talk about it later.
The two of them leave the homestead together, and for a few moments, neither speaks. “Cut,” he says abruptly. “My name. It’s Cut. Cut Lawquane. My wife, Suu, is inside with our kids, Shaeeah and Jek.”
Anakin swallows hard, and it feels as though the wound on his leg is throbbing even more. “Anakin Skywalker,” he replies. Another pause before Anakin asks the same question that he did earlier – “how did you end up here?”
“With a family and a home?” Cut questions, continuing before Anakin can respond. “I lost my squad on our first mission. We were shot down. The droids came through and killed every single survivor. Most were too injured to even fight back. Somehow, they missed me, and when they were gone, I ran. I didn’t want to go back to the war. Suu found me. She took me in, and over time, her kids came to see me as their father. I’m the only one they’ve ever had. We got married and settled down here. Never thought the war would find us out here.”
Anakin can feel the wariness and mistrust, and it hurts, but he understands it. What Cut did, is doing, is illegal. He is, according to Republic law, a criminal. Anakin knows that the clones, most of them at any rate, want this fight. This is the only life that they’ve ever known, but they want to stay. They want to fight. They would never leave their brothers.
But though they are clones, they are not the same individual, nor are they required to make the same choices. Anakin might not know this family, but he can see that they are happy. The children trust Cut. They look up to him, even if he’s not their biological father. The law would demand that he report Cut for being a deserter, but that would also mean allowing this family to be forever ripped apart.
And that is something that Anakin cannot do. The clones were born into this life. They were created to fight and die for the Republic, but what right does the Senate truly have to demand that they lay down their lives without considering what they might choose for themselves? To follow that path is to allow slavery to take root, not just in the shadows but in the open, and Anakin has long stood opposed to slavery. He will always fight for freedom and justice, for those who cannot fight for themselves.
The war has hurt all of them, some more than others, and it would be wrong to demand that Cut – or any clone – fight when his heart is no longer in it. To do so will only inspire others to follow Slick’s example.
The clones are not supposed to be a slave army, and in this, Anakin feels that the Council would understand his decision.
“I don’t intend to report you,” he answers. “If you want something else, then you should be allowed to choose it.”
Surprise flickers into the Force, followed closely by gratitude. “I don’t believe in the war anymore,” Cut tells him as they walk, and Anakin notices the way that Cut slows his pace so Anakin can keep up comfortably without having to further strain his injury. “Rex does, but we’re meant to be more than numbers. If we can’t choose our own lives and our own duties, then what is the point of it all?”
“I– have wondered,” Anakin admits, leaning against a towering plant with a sturdy enough stalk to support his weight. “Sometimes, this seems so… pointless, but we’re fighting for the Republic. For freedom. If we don’t stop the Separatists, then who will? Someone has to retore justice and order to the galaxy.”
“The Republic is not what I thought it was,” Cut answers, “nor is this war. How certain are you that those who are giving you orders hold to the same principles as yourself?”
Anakin bristles, but it’s an instinctive reaction. The Chancellor might be trustworthy, but what about the Senate? Cut… has a point, but this topic is also not one that he wants to keep discussing. It raises far too many uncomfortable questions and doubts that he is unprepared to deal with, especially now.
“How did you handle becoming a parent?” Anakin queries, leaning a bit more against the tree-like plant. “Raising a child is… hard.”
Cut studies him for a moment and then chuckles at whatever is on Anakin’s face. “Speaking from experience, huh?”
Anakin can’t help but smile. “I got a padawan,” he replies. “I’m supposed to train her, but this is war, and I– I’ve never dealt with children before. Even though it’s been months, I– I sometimes don’t know how to handle her. And you’re a clone. You never had parents, but you still seem to be doing just fine.”
“Are you asking me for advice, General Skywalker?” It’s both teasing and dry at once, and Anakin shrugs, oddly embarrassed.
“A bit,” he confesses.
Cut sighs, and even in the darkness, Anakin can see the thoughtfulness on his face. “It was hard at first,” he answers. “Kids always find ways of getting into trouble. You just have to learn how to protect them from it as much as possible. Making mistakes is natural.”
“Making mistakes means death,” Anakin counters, tone sharper than he means it to be, but he thinks Cut can understand the despair and fear that’s behind it. If he fails Ahsoka, she won’t just end up with a broken bone like one of Cut’s kids. She’ll end up dead. He and Rex do their best with her, but he doesn’t always know if it’s enough.
Cut tips his head in silent agreement. “And that’s why she has you.” His voice is firm, determined. “Raising a child in war is not something that I would wish on anyone.”
Anakin looks away. “Yeah,” he whispers, “me either.”
And they leave it at that.
Really, what more is there to say?
Maybe Cut’s advice won’t help him much, but it strangely made him feel better. Cut might not be able to relate to the feeling of sending your kid into the line of fire and hoping for the best, but he knows what it’s like to raise a kid. He understands, and that’s enough. He won’t lecture Anakin about attachments like other Jedi will. He merely offers acceptance, and it’s that acceptance that makes Anakin feel content.
He has never felt this way among the Jedi. It is only among the clones that he has found true kinship. True friendship. The clones have become his family, and Anakin will do anything for them.
Anything.
***
Vader stares long and hard at the too-familiar clone in front of him. “For your family’s sake, you should have laid low,” he says at last.
Cut should be afraid, but he’s not. His head is held high, his eyes defiant. “I met a Jedi once,” he answers, “before they were killed. He made me realize that sometimes, fighting for only your own family is not enough. The other clones are my family, too, and they need me.”
The clones were Va- Anakin’s family. Once.
But the 501st is gone and only their legacy remains.
“He’s dead now,” Cut continues, undaunted, “but we’re continuing his fight.”
“We?” Vader asks, and he almost regrets it, but he has to know. Ever since the Tribunal was discovered, he had been certain that everyone was dead, even Rex. He saw the graves. He knows how many should have been there and weren’t. Of course, Ahsoka buried whoever she could. She would have buried Rex if she had found the body.
Vader will never forgive Maul for what he did to the clones. To his clones. His boys. His best and truest friends. Perhaps the only friends he ever had. The only friends Anakin ever had, but his master tells him that Anakin Skywalker’s family is now irrelevant.
“Me,” Cut answers, “and others. Rex. I know the Empire is aware he’s alive. He started it.”
The Empire knows.
The Empire knows?
Vader stares and then stares some more. Cut is a clone, and he would not give away that information if he wasn’t confident that he’s not giving away anything that his interrogator didn’t already know. Rex. Rex???
“CT-7567,” Vader intones, and he feels more than sees the flicker of uncertainty on Cut’s face.
Emotion rises up, and this is the closest that he has felt to crying since he awoke in this new and wrong body. Rex. Rex is alive. He’d thought all hope was lost. He’d thought everyone in his past was lost, but if Rex is alive, then… then it changes things. Of course, it changes things. Rex is the one he trusts more than anything, more than anyone. If he can find Rex, he can – he can get Rex to join him. They’ll be together again, and he won’t be so alone.
Rex will understand why he made these choices. Rex won’t reject him. He never has.
***
And he doesn’t.