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It's fine, it's cool. Siwoo wasn't even his support anymore. He actually hadn't been for 2 yrs now, and he's back in korea but guess what, the universe hates him so siwoo still wasn't his….. support.
He didn't hate Mingyu, he actually quite liked him. He was a chill dude, did his job well, a little bratty sometimes but everyone on his team was a brat(him being the biggest one) so who could complain about that.
In the break after the lck cup he and siwoo hung out a lot. They texted each other almost every night after their busy days of scrims even if it was just to send memes. They met pretty frequently as well, sometimes in bars, in clubs, their secret corner around the geng building where they smoked.
Once in jaehyuk’s house after both of them had had one too many drinks……..They had both mutually and non verbally agreed to pretend that night never happened
But now that the regular season had started, 3 weeks already gone, naturally they didn't have as much time to fool around. GenG were undefeated so far and they were likely gonna be for the rest of round 1, it wasn't out of disrespect he thought this, just pure data.
‘Data’ that word make him chuckle these days, he felt kinda bad for gumayushi, minseok had told him they hadn't been scrimming much in the first place let alone with guma, and he felt bad for hyeonjun for having to deal with this mess in his first year….oh hyeonjun, he had a strange fondness for the boy. He remembered how he and siwoo would joke around that they would beat up anyone who hurts hyeonjun, and then siwoo would say “well not like i could beat anyone up so i'm just gonna hide behind jaehyuk” and jaehyuk would curse at him and–
Stop
There he goes thinking about siwoo again….
He has to stop, he has more important things to think about than son fucking siwoo. So he tried to go about his day, scrims, vod reviews, draft talk
It was 2am by the time he was finally about to go home from the geng office when he received a text
“Let's go for a drink”
The audacity.. What happened to hello? How was your day? Jaehyuk replied, “fuck off im tired”
L:“Ahhh come on dont be like that i even bought ur favorite brand”
R:“Dont u have a match tomorrow tf are u doing drinking the night
Before”
L:”shut up, just come im at the GenG building”
Jaehyuk laughed, he's never gonna be able to escape him is he? Maybe he’ll have to go back to china
And there he was, standing beside the 24/7 convenience store outside of the GenG office wearing a gray hoodie which looked a little too big on him.
“Hey hey” siwoo greeted him with a smile “guess who went 5-0 in scrims against wbg today” he said handing jaehyuk a can of beer.
“Tf? Are xiaohu and tian finally washed or what” ruler took a sip of his beer
“Hey stfu why don't u say my kids are talented instead huh” siwoo cursed at him
Jaehyuk choked on his beer “ My kids? Seriously? Aww look at mama lehends defending his babies” jaehyuk teased him
“They're really talented kids you know they just need a good voice of guidance”
Jaehyuk looked at him for 2 seconds “you've changed” he says taking another sip
“Ofc I've changed….” Siwoo says with a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes
Jaekyuk hated when siwoo was like this he hated when he was distant like this, when he pretended everything was ok, and that jaehyuk was just a casual friend who he hung out with once in a while
They were never big on having heart to heart conversations even when they were together and it felt even harder now.
“Who's hoodie are you wearing?” Jaehyuk asks breaking his depressing chain of thought
“Oh this is seunghoonies’s he forgot it in the office so I picked it up for him ig”
“aww are seunghoon-ie and siwoo the parents to all the kids u have in that team” jaehyuk tried to sound lighthearted
“Why? U jealous?” siwoo smirked
Jaekyuk snorts “you're gonna be bored of him in 2 months Max”
“Yea I'm sure you're wishing for that” siwoo doubles down fully grinning now
“Son siwoo I'm gonna kill you one day, not in game” jaehyuk finished his beer
“Did I upset you princess? Well I'm sure you're used to it by now” son siwoo was a little shit and jaehyuk couldn't help but smile. He couldn't help but keep coming back
“Well i hope you’re done bothering me, im sleepy, im going home, bye bye” jaehyuk checks the time on his phone, 2:34 am
“Yep ...thanks for being my drinking buddy for another night” siwoo tossed his can to the trashcan nearby, it missed, siwoo didn't care.
“Is that all I am to you? A drinking buddy?” there he was whining again, being pouty
“Jaehyuk-a….. why would u ask questions you’re not gonna like the answer to” siwoo teased again and was met with a kick right to his shin “AAAAAAAAAAA im kidding, im kidding chill out” he roared with laughter
“I'm leaving, don't contact me im busy, bye” jaehyuk really had to go now of he would be late to wake up in the morning
“Ok Ruler-nim thankyou for taking some time off your EXTREMELY busy schedule” siwoo said bowing to him
Jaekyuk just rolled his eyes and started walking in the other direction
“Bye bye” he heard siwoo say and he must've started walking away too
Jaehyuk knew siwoo must be smiling right now, that little shit, he was sure of it
The GenG house wasn't far from the office but it still was a 7-10 min walk
His thoughts drifted to siwoo again….and his ‘seunghoon-ie’ it made jaehyuk irrationally pissed off, ‘he's not even siwoo’s type’ he thought, but then what was siwoo’s type…
‘AAAAAAAAAA stop it stop it Stop it’ he repeated to himself, ‘jealousy is an ugly emotion, what are u even jealous of u dumbass it's not like u and siwoo are a thing, he's allowed to be with whoever he wants’
Sigh
The week went by, GenG and Nongshim won both the matches they had that week, round 1 was over, both jaehyuk and siwoo were pretty satisfied with their team’s result so far
GenG’s last match of round 1 was against kt but they had already started prepping for their match after that which was against DK, jaehyuk was really impressed by DK’s top-jgl he knew they were gonna have long careers.
He himself had had a pretty long career, longer than most, he started reminiscing about all the players he had played with, all the supports that stood by his side, if he had to rank them the best would obviously be-
*buzz buzz*
He’s startled by the sudden sound of his phone buzzing
L: yooo park jaehyuk
L: Are you free? lets go to the hangang festival tomorrow
R: Are you 12? Tf are u gonna do at a festival? Ride the ferris wheel?
L: Are you 60? Tf are u gonna do staying at home? Knit sweaters for your grandkids?
R: fuck you
L:you wish
….
L: park jaekyuuuuukk come onnnnnnnnnnnnn
R: go with your new boyfriend stop bothering me
L: no i'm gonna keep on bothering you until you say yes
L: please
L: please
L: (sends an audio of him singing the hook of sabrina carpenter’s please please please)
R: jesus christ My ears
R: fine fine i’ll come
L: yayyy
R: i've got work till 8 i can be there around 8:30
L: okkkk
L: thankyou ruler-nim see you tomorrow :3
Jaekyuk lay in bed thinking to himself, ‘he can't keep getting away with this, why am i such a fool, just move on jaehyuk its been 2 yrs’
If only it were that easy….
“Alr boys i think that's it for today, just keep the strategies we discussed in mind and we should be able to predict every move they make” coach kim had said and left their practice room
Jaehyuk packed his stuff while the other boys were discussing some game plan
“Jaehyuk hyung, where are you headed off to?” mingyu asked noticing him quietly packing his stuff and not joining them
“Just out to meet a friend” jaehyuk quietly replied
“Hes going on a date with siwoo hyung” jihoon was grinning
Kiin snickered, “it's not a date….” jaehyuk rolled his eyes
There were way more ppl at the fair than jaehyuk had expected, he was wearing a simple hoodie and jeans hoping he wouldn't get recognized, siwoo was wearing a cap for the same reason
They were just walking around looking at the shops, eating a snack if the found something delicious
At some point as they went into more crowded areas siwoo extended his hand for jaehyuk to hold as if it's the most natural thing to do…and jaehyuk had took it, intertwined his fingers and now here they were walking around at a fair holding hands like some couple.
“Hey look, a raffle” siwoo pointed at a small stall and dragged him closer to it “wahhh they have wine as 2nd place, hey isn't that a good brand?” siwoo had his eyes on the prize “yellow ball-1st place (1), red ball-2nd place (5), green ball-3rd place (10), white ball- mini prize (20)” he read their board out loud
What jaehyuk had eyes on was a sign above, that said “COUPLES ONLY!”
“Come on siwoo w-” his sentence was cut off
“Hello! 1 ticket please” siwoo said to the lady at a counter with a smile on his face
“Sir this booth is for couples only”
“Yea we’re a couple, this is my fiance” siwoo raised his hand which was holding jaehyuk’s and jaehyuk doesn't know how but he was somehow coincidentally wearing a shiny silver ring on his ring finger….
“Omo congratulations!! I hope you have a nice and happy marriage!” the lady smiled at them and handed siwoo the ticket
What? what, WHAT siwoo had not just said that, no. jaehyuk refused to believe it, he must be hallucinating, no no no, it was just to enter so siwoo could get his stupid wine, no, siwoo is a liar, he’ll say anything to get what he wants, stop
A married life with siwoo…….he could imagine them 50 yrs old their bodies starting to give up from age, they would fight everyday but love each other just as much, they would be like those old married couples who had been together for 30 yrs despite ppl saying they wouldn't last 2,
They would-
“Bruh no way i wasted 15k won for this” his thoughts were interrupted by siwoo shoving a bag in his face
Jaehyuk was caught off guard, he still hadn't recovered from the fiance bomb “uh what?”
“I got a green ball, 3rd place prize- couples pajamas” he actually laughed a little “eh worth a shot i guess, let's go there i saw a really nice ice cream stand” he took jaehyuk’s hand again and started dragging him to god knows where
The universe hated jaehyuk, he was convinced of it, everytime he wanted to move on, everytime he decided that siwoo was nothing more than a friend the universe bombarded him siwoo, with all the things he loved about siwoo, yes he still loved siwoo and he was tired of pretending he didn't, trying to ignore and bury the feelings that threatened to erupt every time he saw him. It's not fair
he was tired of siwoo playing this game of push and pull with him
They had now wandered off to the bank of the river where there were not many people around, most just walking around or sitting in the grass chatting with their friends
“How did you know I was wearing a ring?” jaehyuk asked out of nowhere
Siwoo had been yapping away and was startled by jaekhyuk actually saying something suddenly
“I felt it dummy” they were still holding hands
Jaehyuk pulled his hand away rather aggressively
“You have to stop” they had both come to a halt, it was time…..
“What do you mean?” siwoo asked him nonchalantly and it pissed jaehyuk off
“You have to stop acting like this, like we’re a couple, i'm not gonna dance to every whim of yours and u can't expect me to” jaehyuk’s tried to sound firm
“But you do tho?” siwoo grinned
“SON SIWOO I'M NOT JOKING”
“Come on we held hands at a fair and i lied that we were engaged to get into a raffle, don't go all emotional on me” siwoo was also serious now
“And is it that easy for you, can you just act like it's nothing? That it doesn't matter? That it doesn't bring back memories?! U want me to believe that? Are you really that heartless?” jaehyuk was actually trying not to cry, he couldn't believe how much he had been holding in
“What's the point in bringing back memories?! Reminiscing about things we can never go back to?” siwoo was annoyed, he didn't understand why jaehyuk had to make everything so complicated, so…real
“Why can't we go back to them?! Why are you so adamant on keeping things as ambiguous as possible, is it because of that fucking boyfriend you have?” jaehyuk had never been more mad in his life “well if it's because of him then you’re cheating already so, so- why cant u just leave him?! And-and…be mine again”
“First of all he’s not my boyfriend, and 2nd of all we cant be together, it's just- we cant ok” why did it have to be so difficult, why did jaehyuk have to always make it so difficult, it's not like siwoo didnt wanna be with jaehyuk, but he had more important things in life right now, he was gonna be on nongshim for 2yrs and after that he would have to serve in the military, jaehyuk didn't have to serve. He could keep on playing for however long he wanted. These were probably the last 2 years of siwoo’s career and he had decided to spend them on a bottom tier team, but they didn't have to remain bottom tier, siwoo could change that, he could make these last 2 yrs of his career truly memorable and he couldn't bring a relationship with park fucking jaehyuk of all people into it, its not like it didnt hurt him too, its not like deep down he didnt still lov-
“I love you siwoo”
“Jaehyuk stop it if u dont wanna see me anymore i would understand that but you can't just suddenly expect everything to be the same as 2022 just because u are back”
“I love you siwoo”
“STOP SAYING THAT, our paths diverged the moment you told us you were leaving, and that's ok. Im not mad at you for leaving, you did what was best for your career and now im doing whats best for mine, we can be casual, stay in each other’s life cuz we both fucking know we’re in too deep and thats all i can give you”
“I love you siwoo”
Neither of them uttered a word for the next 30 seconds, just stared into each others eyes with all the hurt, memories, longing and love
“Lets stop seeing each other” siwoo looks at the ground, “ let's stop calling each other, texting each other, meeting each other outside of lol park, let's just- stop.”
Jaehyuk scoffed, he knew this wasn't gonna end well, he knew he was never gonna be able to stop this feeling, the excitement, the rush, the warmth…
And that's why he knew Siwoo was right.
But he couldn't say anything, he couldn't bring himself to utter the words
“Goodbye jaehyuk” siwoo said he started to walk away
“Siwoo” jaehyuk called out to him, still standing in the same spot
Siwoo stopped but didn't turn around, jaehyuk knew he wouldn't
“Good luck, I hope you achieve everything you want, accomplish everything you set your eyes on.
And i hope you never move on, i hope every time you see me your heart burns and its hurts, its hurts so much you’d have to stop the world to stop the feeling”
Siwoo left, jaehyuk was still standing
A voice in jaehyuk’s head said to him
I told you so.