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Kiriya let out a sigh as he rested his head on the table in CR.
"Something on your mind?" A voice spoke from nearby.
Kiriya glanced up to find Poppy practically in his face. Not far away from her, Emu was also there and staring at him.
He hadn't meant to draw an audience to him. He just was letting out some frustration. But considering where he was and who he was with, he didn't know why he thought they'd not ask what was wrong. He should know better by now.
"Come on. You can tell us." Poppy prompted, giving him a little bit more space.
Kiriya let out a small sigh. "I just... guess I kind of miss when I was technically a bugster."
"Why?" Emu questioned.
"Because... I could kind of just... manipulate who I was." Kiriya mumbled.
This was going to be a bit awkward to explain with no warning. Had he told them before all of this, maybe this conversation would be a bit easier. But now he was stuck. There was little to get out of it.
"I'm not following." Emu said.
"Yeah. What do you mean?" Poppy nodded.
Kiriya pushed himself back up straight in the chair. "I'm genderfluid. Does that make this make more sense now?"
There was a moment of silence as Emu and Poppy processed what he had just said.
"So... when you felt a certain way, you could just make you body match it?" Emu said.
Kiriya nodded. "Pretty much. It was quite nice. And now I'm stuck back in this body with no way to do that now. It sucks."
"Were you genderfluid before this?" Poppy questioned. "Or did that develop once you could explore yourself?"
"I've felt this way for as long as I can remember at this point." Kiriya replied. "Pronouns and all never really bothered me so it didn't feel necessary to bring up."
"Oh..."
"Is there nothing that makes it better?" Emu asked.
"I mean, I can obviously dress different and all but it isn't the same." Kiriya said. "I guess I took it for granted a bit."
"In your defense, you weren't expecting to be human again ever." Poppy stated. "But, guess there isn't much that can help you. We can't do much about that part."
"I know. I know I gotta just get used to this again but man is it hard."
Kiriya laid his head back down on the table. He really did hate that there was little more he could do but just get over it. He had to go back to how he had been dealing with his gender. It just sucked when he had gotten comfortable being able to do so much more than just change his style for a day.
"I'm sure it'll get easier soon." Poppy said. "If you think of anything that maybe can help you feel better, you should let us know. Maybe there is something more we can do than you realize right now."
"I doubt it, but thanks for the offer."