Chapter Text
Pete walked into the bar, called Background and checked his watch; he was thirty minutes early. He had hoped that his face did not show his eagerness. This meet-up would be the first time in twelve years that the whole gang would be together, but what was more concerning was that it would be the first time in twelve years since meeting up with Kao. Kao had gone abroad after his studies and had not spent time with the gang, especially Pete. Kao had moved back three months ago, and the group chat showed that Kao had met everyone besides him. Kao had made time for Thada and Sandee, who had just had their second child. When Sandee arranged a get-together, he had jumped at the opportunity.
He walked up to the black counter and ordered his drink, something not too strong but just right to calm his nervousness. He wanted to look relaxed as if reuniting with Kao was not a big deal, but for the life of him, he couldn't shake the feeling that nothing good would come from today. 'When has anything ever gone your way?' He thought. God, how he hated that voice. The voice that was always negative. Reminding him that he was not good enough. It whispered none stop how Pete was not good enough, that he would not amount to anything. Leading to him rejecting his feelings for Kao and letting out his anger. The accidental kiss he shared with Kao had sparked something in him; initially, he thought it was hate, but as time continued, he realised that it might not be hate. And like classic Pete, he ran. He ran from his feelings and acted out. Kao received all his wrath. Kao hadn't said anything throughout the four years of university but tried to have as little to no contact with Pete.
He took another sip of his drink before checking his watch again, reading forty-three minutes after six. He tapped his finger on the counter as his leg shook against the bar stool. “Nervous?” The bartender asked.
“That obvious?” Pete chuckled, looking back at the girl who had served his drink earlier.
“First date? Don’t worry, you look great. Just don’t overthink it.” she said as she poured another drink. “Nothing like that, just me and my friends.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said before walking away to serve another customer. Pete understood why he looked like he was waiting for his date. He was so nervous to see Kao again but excited. Pete hoped that today, he could get Kao to speak to him. Furthermore, he would apologise for the past and hopefully move forward. ‘Don’t expect Kao to be so forgiving.’ his voice started again. Pete shifted uncomfortably from his chair. He knew that speaking to Kao didn’t mean that everything would be well between the two or that he would suddenly get Kao interested in him. No, this was to rectify all his mistakes.
The first to arrive were Thada and Sandee. Sandee had asked Pete why he hadn’t chosen a table for them. Thada was the one who came to Pete’s rescue, telling Sandee it would have been awkward for Pete to sit on his own. When June arrived, the conversation moved to how work was, as Sandee had recently returned to work from her maternity leave. The gang had ordered a few rounds when Sandee received a call from Kao. Everyone looked at Pete, including Sandee, who, after the call, informed everyone that Kao was just outside and she would be back.
Pete tried his hardest to engage in the conversation with Thada and June; however, he couldn’t get past the idea that Kao would be walking through the door any minute. He had chosen to sit facing the door. So he saw Kao before the others. Time was good to him. He was smiling as he spoke to Sandee and walked towards them, but suddenly turned and pulled a guy closer to him, making sure that that guy was not left behind. Kao had introduced the man as his boyfriend, Sean. Pete played the caring friend; he asked all the necessary and thoughtful questions and shoved his envy deep down. There could be no room for envy when he wanted to repair his relationship with Kao. ‘So why are you sitting at the bar again?’ the toxic voice asked him. Pete knew why. He did not want to go back to his empty house and his empty life.
Pete had pushed away anyone he had ever dated because he had not escaped his feelings for his first love. He still thought about what could have been if he had not been such a coward.
“Alone again?” the bartender asked him. “I saw your friends leave, I thought you left too.”
"I wanted another drink, not in a rush,” Pete shrugged.
“Then indulge me. Is he the cute, gentle one or the tall-looking fellow who looked foreign?” She asked with a smile as she served him another drink,
“That obvious?” Pete asked, playing with the glass given to him. He did not want to get drunk, just buzzed enough to stay away from reality. “Do you want to go back?” she asked. “Would you do things differently?”
“I would, I would not run away,” Pete said, drinking the whiskey.