Chapter Text
sparks - the first signs of a machine coming to life.
there were muffled voices, speaking of words she cannot hear. her systems had just been booted up, and they took a long time for the electricity to properly flow through her circuits.
"She's awake."
she heard the first voice. it was a human's no doubt. male.
"How are her readings?"
the second voice. machine. she could hear it in the artificial syllables, and the imperfect pronunciation of certain words.
"They seem to be running well.. Check her power. Are her systems fully loaded?"
the human's voice spoke, and suddenly she heard footsteps. heavy, mechanical feet, walking to her direction.
her circuits weren't optimized properly just yet, but she could feel hands moving in her chest panel, wires being plugged, and switches being triggered.
the camera lens in her eyes whirred. her vision was starting to load. at first, it was blurry. but eventually..
"They're working on it. Her vision has booted up."
the machine standing before her, tilted her head, her focus being on her internal wiring. purple hair, and a dark hat.
"Alright.. Keep an eye on her, Defoko."
defoko..
she felt another switch inside her being triggered, and she felt her limbs come to life.
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DAILY REPORT
the doctor has successfully brought his newest creation to life today. all the work done on designing and organizing her circuitry had been worth it - but of course, we still have work to be done before we can consider ourselves truly finished.
I will admit, she is beautiful. her design is truly a testament to the advancement of technology.
but that's about it.
more than half of the costs went to her design, and her circuitry is average. it's not a terrible thing, of course, but I can't help but feel conflicted.
if the doctor had spent more time to make her insides humanlike as well, it would surely be the final touch. but then, I have a feeling that it wouldn't be what I wanted to see.
there is something aching inside of me when I watched him carefully construct her, while I have to do my maintenance in my own. I know I should not be feeling this way. I'm not meant to feel any emotions at all.
maybe I just need a checkup from the doctor. a real one. something is wrong with my code.
END OF REPORT
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"So, Doctor.. This is your Adachi model?"
defoko sat on her chair besides the doctor's, leaning in to see his work on one of the dozens of monitors he had on his work area.
"That's right. Isn't she beautiful? We worked so hard, I couldn't have done it without you Defoko."
the doctor smiled, quietly gazing at the new robot, sitting still on the operating table.
"I made sure to design her to be as close to a human as possible. And you helped me strengthen her circuitry."
the doctor turned back to defoko, still smiling. defoko nodded back.
"It's always a pleasure to help you in your projects, Doctor.. You can count on me."
the doctor chuckled, and reached out his arm to gently pat defoko's head.
"You don't have to be so formal, Defoko. You've been with me for years."
defoko shook her head at this. her expression was unreadable - mostly because she was never designed for those purposes.
"I.. like being formal."
the doctor only sighed at this, but with a fond smile. defoko had always been his greatest creation - smart, strong and loyal.
"Whatever makes you happy.."
the doctor turned back around to focus once more on his monitor, coding the systems for the new robot. defoko turned to her.
"Doctor.."
defoko spoke up. the doctor didn't turn to look, but nodded, signalling for her to continue.
".. what will be her name?"
the doctor stopped typing at this, and leaned back against his chair. his robots always had a model name. defoko's was Utane. the new robot was Adachi. but he still liked to give them special names, just because.
".. She looks like a Rei, doesn't she?"
the doctor thought out loud, nodding to himself. defoko tilted her head.
"Rei?"
"Yes, Rei Adachi. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
he chuckled to himself, and defoko was silent, as always. she turned her attention to rei again, watching quietly as the new model studied herself on the operating table.
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DAILY REPORT
the doctor has named the robot rei.
it fits her very well. I admire the doctor's skill in coming up with such perfect nicknames.
as the rest of the doctor's creations, I'm sure the Adachi model will be celebrated by the world. maybe in more social types of work, since her body isn't that strong.
.. I shouldn't say that.
something has been eating away at me lately. I will try to find a time where the doctor isn't busy and speak to him about it.
END OF REPORT
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Rei was blinded by the ceiling light shining down on her face. the lens in her eyes whirred and focused, trying to adjust to her surroundings.
muffled voices again, but this time they cleared quicker than before. she looked down. her chest panel was still open.
"Ah, what happened now.."
the doctor's voice groaned slightly, clearly having just woken up from his sleep. with that information, it must mean that it was midnight.
"Sorry, Doctor.. but tonight, while charging Rei, her wires were sparking."
rei tilted her head, and looked back down into her chest panel. she had no clue which part does what..
".. Oh. Let me have a look.."
the doctor's voice suddenly turned serious, and he immediately sat down on his chair. defoko turned to rei, and slowly walked in her direction. she backed away slightly.
"Hey, it's okay."
defoko's voice, although artificial, was meant to soothe.
"How are you feeling?"
rei looked down into her chest panel the third time. she tried to make sense of something, but really, she had no idea what she was looking at, even though they were parts of herself.
"I.. don't know."
rei was surprised at her own voice. she had never spoken before, but the coding in her mind knew how to speak, transferring the signals to her speakers and creating sound - her voice.
"I see.. that's alright. I only wanted to make sure if we had missed a damaged component somewhere."
rei stayed silent. she wanted to say something, but she stayed silent.
there was a long moment of silence, only the sounds of keyboard keys being pressed was heard, echoing through the room.
the doctor then sighed, and turned to the two robots that were currently on the operating table.
".. I'm afraid I don't know what's the real problem. My current guess is overcharging, since the battery we used for her is different."
defoko thought about it, and nodded.
"That might just be the case. It's worth a try."
"Though, to test it out.. we'll have to stay awake with her in case she runs out of battery in the middle of the night. Will you help me look after her, Defoko?"
defoko froze at that. staying up with her meant having to keep her company, and those types of things don't go well unless the two people are fond of each other. still, she'd do anything for the professor..
".. I will."
"Thank you, Defoko.. Now, I'll leave the lights open for you two-"
"That won't be necessary. The dark is fine."
the doctor noticed that something changed in defoko's tone. she seemed more defensive, in a way. any other time, he'd want to talk to her about it, but he brushed it off as a result of him still being half asleep.
"Ah.. I see. I'll be off then. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Doctor."
defoko watched the doctor bow one final time, and she bowed back. he left the room right after, off to go back to sleep.
it was only them now.. she had been dreading this moment.
defoko slowly turned to face rei.
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DAILY REPORT
if I was a human, I'd have gone mad.
today, while charging, rei's wires sparked, hinting at a potential fire. fortunately, I was able to prevent it. our current hypothesis is that her battery lasts longer, and we have overcharged her.
and right now, I have been given the task to watch over her through the night.
I know I shouldn't be feeling this. I shouldn't be feeling anything. I was a robot made for the purpose of labor and assistance and protection, not human emotions. but I can't help it.
I need to get rid of her before the doctor gets rid of me.
but I can't, I can't..
END OF REPO-
"Defoko?"
defoko's writing was swiftly interrupted by the sudden sound of rei saying her name. she turned to her.
"Yes?"
"What are you staring at?"
"I was writing a report."
"What for?"
"To document the things that have happened every day so I can look back onto them."
"So they're your memories?"
defoko was starting to get annoyed. she knew that the robot didn't deserve to be despised, she had done nothing wrong. but still..
"In a way, yes.."
rei's systems filed this away, wanting to remember that fact.
.. she smiled.
".. Ah. so you can only remember through words? as expected of an older model.."
defoko froze again.
".. I apologize, but what do you mean by that?"
rei scoffed, a smirk on her face.
"How could you not know? look at you. compared to me, your model is nothing but scraps and bolts."
defoko clenched her fists. something was wrong. deeply wrong. unless.. programming her to mimic humans meant programming some sort of negative trait alongside it. like humans.
but she did it out of the blue, for seemingly no reason at all. no doubt, this was a coding error.
"I find your words rather rude."
"Oh? I thought you weren't capable of perceiving tone and emotion."
"I am being serious. I am only here to help."
rei scoffed at this, her smirk widening.
"Help? Defoko, what kind of robot do you take me for? I know how you look at me, I know how you dislike me. Why are you holding back?"
defoko felt her circuitry start to heat up, anger swelling in her systems. she turned away, hoping that ignoring her would make her quiet down, and the morning would come before they knew it.
"Ugh."
a groan came from rei.
"What's wrong?"
defoko asked, but still not turning to face rei.
"It's so boring."
"Well.. the doctor has installed some games to occupy us. I always play them when I am bored."
"I've played them all already, they're all boring and repetitive."
defoko clenched her fists again. now she was doing it. she could ignore rei insulting her, but not when she insults the doctor's hard work.
".. I would advise you to appreciate The Doctor's work. he poured his heart and soul into making us."
"That doesn't excuse the fact that it's boring."
"You are in early development. The Doctor has plans for you in the future. please be patient if you are expecting upgrades."
"As expected of a human. slow and full of error."
defoko gritted her teeth. she knew she should be patient, she knew that she shouldn't resort to violence so quickly. but what are you supposed to do when you were made for destruction anyways?
still, she shook her head and turned away.
"Hm? hiding away now? how cowardly."
"I am only avoiding conflict."
"So basically, you're hiding away."
she could feel her systems start to stir now.
"It would be advised for you to remain silent, morning will come peacefully if you do."
"You just want me to shut up, because deep down Ive gotten your feelings hurt, haven't I?"
this time, rei laughed. cold and bitter.
"You're supposed to be the stronger model, and yet you won't even try to fight back. what good are you then?"
that was it.
defoko didn't say anything. instead, she suddenly stood up, and walked away.
"What now? running away? I see, so I was right all alo-"
defoko turned back around - with a screwdriver in her hand.
rei went silent.
".. Hey, wait.."
she stammered, caught off guard.
"Rei Adachi."
defoko suddenly started. her voice was different now. more formal.. almost threatening.
"In my opinion, you are broken in more ways than one."
defoko took a step forward, holding up the screwdriver, the tip pointed at rei's chest panel.
"So I shall fix you. on my own. for The Doctor."
rei froze. she stepped away, until her back thumped against the wall.
"W-wait, wait."
she stammered.
"Defoko, I.. I was joking. it was a joke.."
defoko shook her head again. harder, firmer. her eyes shone in the dark, cold and bitter.
"I do not think so. if what you did was merely for humor, then it would happen only one or two. I am sure - something inside you is broken."
defoko continued to walk forward, and rei had nowhere to back away to. she stood there, frozen in fear, as the tip of the screwdriver finally tapped against the metal of her chest.
"N-no, I swear! I'm not broken. I was just messing with you.. I don't need to be fixed by you!"
defoko didn't reply immediately. she just stared her eyes into rei's. cold, dark purple depths - and bright orange light. behind them their lenses whirred around, trying to focus on the sight before them.
"Liar."
the tip of the screwdriver pressed only a tiny bit harder against rei's chest.
"Lying and mocking. I would say it's your code, but I feel that something inside you is completely broken."
"D-Defoko.."
rei was trembling.
"I-I.. I'm not-"
with a sudden, almost brutal force, defoko yanked rei's chest panel open, drawing out a yelp from her even if it didn't hurt much (yet). defoko tore the panel off completely, tossing it to the side as she stared into the wiring inside.
"Messy and unfinished. inside here, that is all you are."
"S-stop, I-!"
again, rei's sentence was interrupted with a yelp - well, this time, a scream. the tip of the screwdriver was shoved into her internals, scratching and even damaging a few of her components and wires. she was already sensitive from the overcharging, and now she was practically being stabbed.
she tried her best to push defoko away, but her efforts were futile. defoko was, as always, the stronger one. every time rei managed to push her off - in a split second, defoko would slam rei back into the wall, twisting the screwdriver around inside her internals, drawing out scream after scream.
"D-DEFOKO..! S-STOP, IT HURTS..!"
rei was begging. rei was crying. she had been equipped with feelings of pain and the ability to shed tears, but right now she didn't know if she was grateful for those features anymore.
"Where is your superiority now? where is the power you so boldly claim to have over me? where is it, Rei Adachi?!"
she slammed rei against the wall with each question, damaging her body even further. rei couldn't do anything but cry and beg her to stop, and at this point her speakers had been damaged, and she couldn't speak out a proper sentence. just garbled noises and broken sobs.
defoko should stop. she knew she should. if she didn't, rei would surely be destroyed beyond repair. but she couldn't find it in her to stop slamming her against the wall or floor, to stop stabbing her internals with the tip of the screwdriver, watching as sparks flew and wires ripped apart. she couldn't see or feel anything but the rage, as it boiled through her circuits and out through her hands.
defoko was an instrument of destruction.
at this, the files in her mind flashed with past memories. past daily reports. long ago.
"Doctor." defoko had spoken, while the doctor was typing away at his desk.
"Hm?" he had lifted his head, turning his chair to face defoko.
"Can you explain to me the concept of love?"
it had been a sudden question. but it was not for no reason at all. defoko has seen the people outside, their intertwined hands, and the occasional kiss upon the cheek or on the lips between two human beings. and she's seen the paragraphs online, talking about compassion and kindness and empathy.
"Well.." the doctor started. he had not expected such a question, and so he took a moment to try and explain it in a way defoko would understand.
"I'd say.. the best way to describe it would be me and you, Defoko." at this, defoko had tilted her head in confusion.
"Me and you, Doctor?"
"Yes, you and me."
"How so?"
the doctor smiled at this, and extended his arm. his hand gently ruffled defoko's hat, an (affectionate?) gesture he had been repeating for as long as defoko could remember.
"You notice how I didn't send you away like the other models, Defoko?"
"Yes."
"Why do you think so?"
".. Because.. I am experienced her already?"
the doctor had let out a light chuckle.
"No, Defoko. It's because ever since I created you, I knew you were special from the others. You are the first of your model, but unlike the others, you posess a certain quality."
"And.. that would be?"
"To be honest? I don't know myself."
he had given Defoko's hat a pat.
"I just felt it. I knew you were worth keeping. and I was right. you've proven to be the most helpful assistant I've ever had."
there was a short moment of silence, and then the doctor continued.
"I guess.. ."
I kind of see you as my daughter, Defoko."
the memory stopped there - abruptly - and defoko was back to pulling rei's internal wiring apart, the room echoing with her pained mechanical screams.
why?
why did all this happen? why did the doctor keep her here? with him? to assist him in making new models? for love, the thing that was only a feeling? why only love? why keep her, the one model he has made as a tool of violence and destruction?
she knew - no matter how much pampering she gets, how many humanity was taught to her - she will always remain the destroyer her model was made to be.
her hands - strong and fast, made to crush and destroy. and it held the broken remains of what used to be rei's internal systems, now scratched, punctured, completely broken beyond repair.
her eyes - keen and sharp, made to spot fast movement and act upon them in time. and it scanned rei's unmoving body as it lay on the ground. broken, in pieces. at this point it didn't look like rei anymore.
her legs - agile and quick, made to run long distances in short time. and they stomped on what was left of rei until it was flattened or chipped apart.
her mind - critical and obedient, made to make quick decisions and follow orders from leaders. and now it knew, it knew -
she had murdered one of the doctor's creations. adachi rei, now nothing more than a pile of scraps of metal and ripped-up wires on the ground. she couldn't put her back together if she tried. her ears rang. the lenses in her eyes flicked everywhere, across the carcass of the robot that used to be.
she had read about religion and God in the books made by humans. they spoke about angels and heaven and hell. if defoko was a human and believed in such things, surely, she will be dragged straight down to hell. there is no other place for her. she has been made to be like this, and like this she shall stay.
she dropped to her knees and stared at the ground, her body trembling.
is this love? is this what it was supposed to be? defoko knew it had relations to family, and defoko was like a daughter to him - this must be somehow related to love, right? she had murdered and destroyed rei because she wanted the doctor's love to stay with only her. is that also love? it can't not be love. defoko didn't know. the truth was, defoko never truly knew anything.
only the doctor did. only the doctor.
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DAILY REPORT
I'VE DONE IT.
I'VE DONE IT.
I'VE DONE IT.
I'VE FINALLY, FINALLY DONE IT.
THERE IS NO MORE ADACHI REI
THERE IS NO MORE NEW MODEL
THERE IS NO MORE PAIN
WHEN MORNING COMES
THE DOCTOR WILL NO LONGER SEE REI
FOR I HAVE THROWN HER AWAY
AS SHE DESERVED
HE WILL BE WORRIED, YES
BUT ONLY FOR A MINUTE
FOR ONLY A MINUTE
SOON HE WILL FORGET
AND NOONE
NOONE ELSE WILL
TAKE MY PLACE
NOONE ELSE WILL
TAKE HIS LOVE AWAY FROM ME
NOONE ELSE WILL
BE HIS FOCUS
I WILL FOREVER REMAIN
HIS BELOVED ROBOT
HIS BELOVED ASSISTANT
HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER
I WILL FOREVER REMAIN
BY THE DOCTOR'S SIDE
AS I AM
SUPPOSED TO
AS I WAS
MADE TO
AS I WILL
ALWAYS
FOREVER
FOREVER
END OF REPORT
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