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Tally woke up with a start, her heart pounding in her chest as she gasped for air.
The loud, rapid beating slowly drowned out the sounds of screams and cries echoing in her mind, the nightmare that had brought them slowly faded into the darkness of the bedroom and the softness of the sheets.
Without moving, she slowly opened her eyes and began to relax the tense muscles in her body, loosening her clenched fists and stretching her legs out of the fetal position. Even though she knew that what she dreamed about wasn’t good, her sleepy mind, despite waking up so suddenly, didn’t bring up any clear images or memories and she was glad about that. Though her heart was beginning to calm down, she knew she was already too wide awake to simply close her eyes and go back to sleep, so she turned over to adjust the pillow and get more comfortable, knowing that a change of position could help banish any remnants of the bad dream.
But as she turned around, her eyes already almost closed, her hand hit nothing and landed in the cold, empty space to her left. That jolted her awake again, and her eyebrows immediately furrowed as she sat up and looked at the intact sheets and uncreased pillow in front of her. Her gaze drifted sideways to the bedside table and the electric clock on it, which read two in the morning. Tally’s shoulders slumped and a quiet sigh escaped her lips.
She threw off the covers, a slight shiver immediately running down her bare arms and legs, but she ignored it and slid out of bed. She didn’t bother to put on her slippers, she simply walked barefoot across the wooden floor to the door and continued down the hall without making a single sound.
The door to Sarah’s office was slightly ajar, and a stream of warm light was spilling into the corridor.
Tally stood in the doorway and gently pushed the well-oiled door, which swung open silently, and she was greeted by the monotonous sound of a fountain pen gliding across paper with clear purpose.
As her presence went unnoticed, she allowed herself a moment to enjoy the sight before her.
She took in Sarah’s neat braid that fell loosely over her shoulder, her elegant hands, one lying flat on the paper, the other wrapped around her fountain pen, the hooked nose, and the dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration. The lamp on the large oak desk was the only light in the room, and it cast a soft glow on the woman’s features, deepening the sharpness of her cheekbones and emphasizing the paleness of her complexion.
A barely audible sigh escaped Tally’s lips and she stepped deeper into the room, deliberately making sure the floorboards creaked beneath her bare feet to announce her presence.
But she didn’t manage to avoid startling Sarah.
The pen’s scratching stopped abruptly, and Sarah looked up, all alert and tense in a split second. When her gaze fell on Tally, her body instantly relaxed and the lines on her face softened.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, looking back down at the piece of paper in front of her, the scribbling becoming audible in the room again.
Tally moved further into the room.
“I came to ask you the same question.”
But Sarah didn’t answer, her attention focused completely on the letter again.
Tally felt the tension and anxiety slowly building in her own shoulders. As she approached the desk, she noticed the deep shadows under Sarah’s eyes and the way her fingers gripped the pen much tighter than they should have.
She circled the desk, her fingers first tracing the dark, polished wood, then finding their way to Sarah’s left forearm, lightly grazing it before her hand moved higher to rest on the woman’s shoulder. She felt the body tense under her fingers as Sarah fought to continue writing and not to instinctively lean back towards Tally.
The sound of writing continued to fill the room, choking the air and boring uncomfortably into Tally’s temples, like the buzzing of an annoying, persistent fly on a muggy summer evening.
Her eyes dropped to the letter on the desk, to Petra’s small, precise handwriting, and then to the reply that was slowly forming under Sarah’s steady hand. Tally didn’t need to ask anything else, because it wasn't an unfamiliar sight to her.
As the world settled into a relative, if still fragile peace after the First Song, Sarah made the difficult, but expected decision not to return to the Army. That, of course, didn’t stop Petra from turning to her for advice more often than not. Tally wasn’t surprised, knowing full well that rebuilding and creating a new world order required knowledge and experience, of which Sarah Alder undoubtedly had more than anyone else alive.
But that didn’t mean she had to continue to pay the price for all that knowledge and experience, especially now that after centuries her role as leader was taken over and she could finally, finally rest.
Tally placed her chin on top of Sarah’s head as her right arm wrapped around lean shoulders and rested on her sternum.
“You work too much.”
Tally’s words seemed to be drowned out by the incessant scratching against the paper.
The fountain pen paused in midair. Sarah’s brows drew together in a split second of displeasure as the thought she had intended to write down nearly slipped from her mind. But she quickly regained focus, nodding absently, more to herself than to Tally, who felt her shoulders tense up even more.
The heavy, exaggerated sigh elicited no further reaction from Sarah, as she likely didn’t even notice it.
Tally moved behind Sarah, embracing her tighter and pressing her lips to the earlobe, knowing that the air that escaped her mouth as she spoke the next words tickled the sensitive skin.
“That’s not your responsibility anymore, Sarah.” Her whisper sent a shiver down Sarah’s spine and Tally felt it perfectly in the way the woman straightened slightly against her.
The writing stopped.
There was a moment of silence, and then the air left Sarah’s lungs heavily, her shoulders slumped. Her free hand found Tally’s and squeezed it in a reassuring gesture.
“I’ll be in bed in a few minutes, Tally,” she said, and even though she tried to keep her tone light, Tally could hear the weariness in her words. “Petra asked me to—”
“Petra has an entire Army under her command, including many excellent advisors.” Tally interrupted, releasing her hands and gently but pointedly taking Sarah’s pen from her grasp and setting it aside. Sarah made a small grunt of protest, but Tally just smiled and used her weight to push the chair away from her desk. “And last time I checked, you were pretty glad you weren’t a part of it anymore.”
Without waiting for an answer, she nudged her and in a quick, graceful motion climbed onto Sarah’s lap, partially blocking her view of the desk and forcing to focus entirely on her. Tally’s smile only widened as the woman rolled her eyes, but at the same time automatically wrapped her arms protectively around Tally’s waist to make sure she didn’t slide down her legs.
“Tally…”
But Tally didn’t let her say anything else and cut off her next words by covering her mouth with her own. Sarah didn’t protest this time, melting into the kiss in an instant, her hands sliding up Tally’s back and pulling her closer.
A soft hum of contentment began to rise in Tally’s throat, but then she suddenly felt strong arms tighten around her, and before she knew what was happening, the world moved as Sarah rose from the chair.
She let out a quiet, surprised squeak and threw her arms around the woman’s neck, holding onto her tightly. The low, throaty chuckle that sounded right next to her ear sent warmth spreading through her chest as Sarah moved them toward the couch in front of the dying fire.
Sarah gently lowered them onto the pillows, not letting them stray from each other for even a moment, skillfully maneuvering their bodies so that they both finally rested comfortably on the soft leather.
Tally relaxed, straightening her body, and taking advantage of the new, extra space, she brought their bodies impossibly closer, intertwining their legs and nuzzling into the crook of Sarah’s neck. A heavy sigh escaped Tally’s lips, one that was both satisfied and yet laced with hints of exasperation.
Hearing this, Sarah tilted her head back a little so she could look at Tally.
“What is it?” she asked.
Tally opened one eye and shrugged.
“Oh, nothing, really. I just wish you'd take us to our bed instead. You know, the same bed that has a real mattress and is an actual place to rest and stuff.”
Sarah looked at her for a moment, considering her words, not moving a muscle, before a puff of air escaped her lips and her fingers tightened around Tally's waist, pulling her even closer, if that was even possible.
She lowered her mouth to Tally’s ear.
“See, last time I checked, you had a different opinion about that couch.” Her leg, tightly tangled between Tally’s, lifted slightly, and the sharp moan that came in response to her movement made her chuckle.
Their gazes met and this time it was Tally’s turn to roll her eyes.
“I see what you’re doing,” she said, but there was a gentleness to her words as she saw the genuine mirth in those tired, blue eyes looking straight at her as if she was the only thing worth looking at.
Her hand found its way to the back of Sarah’s neck, bringing her down for another kiss, a longer one this time, slow and devouring. She felt Sarah’s hands roam over her body, sliding under her shirt and brushing her bare skin with cool fingers. Sarah’s long legs moved between Tally's, lightly rubbing against her, sending waves of heat straight to her core.
A soft purr vibrated in Sarah’s throat and another moan escaped Tally’s lips.
Her back arched a little as she lay trapped between the back of the couch and Sarah’s lean, strong body, completely at her mercy, aware of how little restraint she had in the face of such an obvious and honest display of need from Sarah.
She still remembered the days when Sarah held back from showing her affections, how gentle and careful she had been with Tally, and how long Tally had worked to open her up. So it was moments like these that gave her a sense of unspeakable happiness, knowing that Sarah was finally comfortable and free in her arms.
Their kisses grew slower, lazier, and Tally finally felt for the first time since she had entered the room that Sarah’s body was truly beginning to relax. She saw blue eyes slowly disappear behind heavy lids and lazily ran her fingers along the sharp line of her jaw, earning another satisfied hum from the woman.
“You know you can rest now? No one has the right to ask you for anything more.”
Sarah sighed quietly and brought their foreheads together.
“I know.” Her response was barely a whisper.
Tally’s fingers continued to move up Sarah’s face, caressing her cheek and temple, then sinking into her dark, thick hair.
“It’s time to stop burning yourself out for a world that can’t demand anything from you anymore, Sarah. You’ve already given too much of yourself, you deserve to rest now. You deserve your peace.”
Sarah gave her a small, forced smile.
“I am at peace, Tally. Now, here, with you, I am at peace, at rest. I don’t need anything else.”
Tally pulled away slightly.
“But I need something more for you. You’re always worrying about everyone and everything else, even now, lying here with me, in our home. You left that life behind, Sarah, and yet you’re still in the middle of it all.”
Sarah’s jaw moved and she looked away, knowing how true Tally’s words were. But a second later, warm fingers wrapped around her chin and gently, but firmly, forced her to look back into Tally’s big, hazel eyes.
“Let’s go on vacation.”
Sarah froze, and the hand that had been lazily stroking Tally’s back suddenly stopped. Tally felt the tension return to Sarah in strong, sudden waves that immediately began to take her away, closing her in, even though the untrained eye wouldn’t have been able to see any difference in her demeanor.
Without thinking twice, she captured Sarah’s lips with her own again, determined to melt away those unnecessary doubts. Sarah knew she wouldn’t do anything against her, but at the same time she couldn’t stop the defensive reactions that were still strong within her and kicking in whenever Tally tried to push her out of her comfort zone.
As they parted, Tally didn’t let Sarah move more than an inch away, holding her close and holding her strong.
“I mean it, Sarah,” she said against her, their lips brushing as she spoke. “You have these moments of peace when I force you to, but it’s not enough. You have to get away, you have to slow down, leave it all behind and learn how to live your life.”
She felt Sarah swallow hard, her hands adjusting their grip around Tally once again, as if she were her lifeline, bringing her closer, closer, always closer.
“What if I don’t know how?”
A smile tugged at the corners of Tally’s lips. She placed a soft kiss on Sarah’s temple as her free hand found and intertwined their fingers.
“Then we’ll figure it out just like we did everything else. Together.”