Archive of Our Own

The class goes quiet when Pyxis enters the room. In his hands are his tumbler and two fish bowls.

He notices the excited looks in his students’ faces, making him smirk. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but while we do not have a lesson for today, you’re still not going to be dismissed early.” He pauses to relish the groans and complains of his students. “We teachers came up with a fun activity for Valentine’s Day!”

Pyxis turns to Hange, the class secretary, who’s seated directly in front of him. “Hange, please write down all the names of your classmates. Cut them out, fold them, and put them in here. Separate the boys from the girls.” He puts the fish bowls on Hange’s desk. “We’re doing Secret Santa except, since it’s for Valentine’s Day, we’re going to call it Secret Valentine!” There’s a chorus of what and eew from the class, but Pyxis goes on, “each of you will be picking the name of your valentine from these bowls. Boys pick from the girls and vice versa.”

“Can’t we just pick someone who we actually like?” asks Marlo.

“Nope. We’re going to do it fair and the traditional way,” Pyxis answers firmly. “With that said, exchanging of names is not allowed.” He laughs at the sound of his students negatively reacting to that.

“Psh, he’s not going to know anyway,” Jean, seated behind Levi, grumbles under his breath.

Levi turns to you, noticing your lower lip’s jutted. Are you thinking? You’d normally be excited about something like this.

“Not excited?”

You shrug. “Just wondering who I’ll get.”

Hm. “Who would you like to get?”

“Dunno. Maybe Hange?” you chuckle at the look of horror on his face. “Or you.”

His heart skips a beat. “Me?”

You look at him for a second, smiling… and that’s it. You turn back to Pyxis as he speaks again.

“Minimum amount of each gift should be 2 bucks, but please, be as generous as you want. These are the themes.” He turns to the whiteboard and writes, something nice (tuesday), and something sweet (thursday).

Levi mulls over what you just said- you’d like to pick him. Why? But then again you would want to pick Hange too. Maybe you’re just that weird.

Whatever. It probably doesn’t mean anything. He better not get his hopes high.

“Gift giving is on Tuesday and Thursday. Friday is club activities day, and the school, together with the student’s council, prepared a little valentine’s festival that will start after lunch,” says Pyxis. “You should have enough time to get your gifts this weekend.”

“What a pain,” grumbles someone from the back.

Levi watches Hange’s back as they write the names, handing the papers to Moblit so he can help with cutting, folding, and putting them in the bowls. Once done, they put the bowls back on Pyxis’ desk, and the teacher calls over each of the students starting from the ones in front to start picking.

Like a hawk eyeing its prey, Levi watches each of his classmate’s hand as they dip it into the bowl containing the girls’ names, willing the paper they pick to have someone else’s name.

He has to get your name. There’s no way Valentine’s day will be fucking valentine’s day if he doesn’t get your name.

But how?

Whatever. He’ll figure it out later. He doesn’t care if exchanging of names isn’t allowed. Whoever came up with that rule is stupid if they thought students would follow.

You get up when it’s your turn. Levi couldn’t help but wish you’d get his name too.

You pick a paper, turning back and walking towards your seat as you open it behind your palms. You smile a little, and fuck, how fantastic would it be if that’s Levi’s name you picked.

He gets up next, hands balled into fist as he approaches Pyxis’ table. He dips his hands into the bowl, praying to whoever is listening above to let it be your name written on the stupid paper his hand picks. He shuffles the few papers left, grabs one, and turns away, oblivious to the fact that someone’s watching him closely. He unfolds the paper, his nerves killing him, and crumples it so hard it would’ve been pulverized.

He got Hange’s name. Jesus Christ. He almost throws the paper at Oluo when he passes by him.

Of all the names– fuck’s sake.

He drops on his chair, mood sour, and grumbles under his breath. The paper’s still crumpled in his fist.

You chuckle, facing him with your elbow propped on your table and the side of your jaw on the back of your hand. “You don’t like who you got?”

“Obviously,” he scoffs, making you laugh again.

“Cheer up,” you say, reaching to pat him on the shoulder. “It’s the season of love.”

He looks away, his cheeks flushed because of the contact.

Right. Season of fucking love and he can’t even tell you what he feels about you. Four damn long years and he still chickens out whenever he tries to bring it up. It’s been so long he’s sure it isn’t a stupid crush anymore. Even Hange never fails to remind him that, painfully so.

There's a slight murmur around him as his classmates discuss who knows what. His ears strain, trying to pick up your name, just in case someone mentions about having picked it.

Pyxis clears his throat, immediately silencing the class. “Alright, enough having fun. It’s time for a surprise quiz!” There’s a collective groan from the class. Pyxis continues, “I want each of you to pick any classic novel and write an essay about it. And, just a friendly reminder, I kept a record of the novel you all picked in your previous essay, so, no repetition!” He laughs triumphantly.

“Fuuuuuck,” Eren drawls.

You let out a long sigh and then hum, “I can’t decide between Wide Sargasso Sea and The Death of the Heart.”

Levi hasn’t even heard either of that.

“At least you have two choices, Wormie,” Eren quips. “I only know half of The Great Gatsby and nothing else,” Eren complains. “Maybe I should write about Alice in Wonderland.”

You chuckle, turning to face Eren. “Maybe you should start reading more too.”

“And pass on a friendly kill on Jean in HD2? No way.”

Jean crosses his arms and scoffs. “Huh? Last I checked, the bots kill you first before you can even fire your gun.”

“I have recorded streams of you dying by the bullets of my guard dog!” Eren snaps.

“Stupid, that doesn’t count!” Jean counters.

You sigh exasperatedly, turning away from the two.

Levi decides on The Great Gatsby, only because he wants to get this over and done with and start looking for the person who got your name.

He hears you singing eeny, meeny, miny, moe to yourself before saying a different title. Levi turns to you, amused, and you chuckle. “Can’t help it! I have a list,” you say, showing a page full of scribbles in your notebook. “I came prepared for this battle!”

His mouth twitches. “Is that anything different from your Goodreads shelves?”

You chuckle. “Priorities.”

Of course.

“Any chance you haven’t read anything in that list yet?”

“Well, I have a to-read list! And a list of books I’ve been hunting for physical copies to buy and re-read!”

Levi sighs fondly, smiling. “Send that to me. I can help you look for them.”

And buy them for you, actually. But he won’t tell you that because he knows you wouldn’t let him.

Fuuuuuck. He’s in too deep and he isn’t even thinking about getting out.

“Really?” You giggle. “Thank you, Levi! That’s sweet.”

He startles, heat quickly rising to his cheeks. He looks away and manages to say, “anything for you, Vi-” he stops himself before he could finish.

You blink at him, but whatever confusion that has crossed your mind is soon gone when Pyxis calls out your group for being noisy.

Villette is what he almost said. It’s one of your favorite books- the one that got him into reading. Where everyone calls you Wormie (care of Hange), he calls you Villette. In his thoughts, at least. Everywhere and anywhere else, it’s your name he says.

-

Obviously, he can’t ask Miche, Moblit, or Erwin if any of them got your name. Maybe he’ll save them last, if his efforts to hunt the other guys in his class end up fruitless. He can’t let Hange know he’s looking for your name because then, they’ll know he got their name.

The first people Levi corners are Oluo, Eld, and Gunther. Those three, together with Petra, are inseparable, and he easily finds them in the cafeteria- thanks to Oluo’s loud voice as he blabbers about Porco’s obsession with porn magazines to Petra. Levi sits next to her, unannounced, making her jump in her seat.

He goes straight to the point, asking if any of them got your name. The three shake their heads in the same direction, with dumbfounded looks in their faces.

Levi sighs. He knew he wouldn’t get this on the first try.

“Why? Didn’t like who you got?” Eld asks, smiling knowingly.

Levi scoffs. “None of your business.”

“It is my business if I know who got her.”

He looks at him skeptically. “Who?”

Eld laughs loudly. “I don’t know. Just teasing you.”

His brow twitches. “Fuck you.”

“Wormie, huh?” Oluo murmurs.

Gunther hums thoughtfully. “If you wanted to give her gifts, why not give her gifts even if she isn’t your valentine?”

He pauses in consideration, but he knows you didn’t like receiving things just like that. At least, not when there’s no occasion.

“You’re down real bad, aren’t you?” Eld comments, grinning.

Fuck. Is it that obvious?

Oluo sighs exasperatedly. “Why not just tell her what you feel? Who knows, she might have feelings for you too.”

“Send that to me. I can help you look for them,” Eld teases in a deep voice.

Levi realizes he’s mimicking his conversation with you earlier.

Oluo’s quick to catch on and get in character. “Really?” He giggles, and Levi wants to whack the living daylights out of him with the bottle of soda Petra’s holding. “Oh, Levi! That’s so sweet. I love you so much, my prince charming! Kiss me, kiss me!”

The two twitch like zombies, making kissy faces at each other.

Petra smacks her hand on her forehead, and murmurs, “I’m friends with idiots.”

OK. Enough messing around.

Levi slams his hand on the table, startling Petra and Oluo, and says in a threatening voice, “don’t dare tell anyone I asked.” And he leaves without waiting for their answers.

Petra sighs, shaking her head as she turns to look at Levi’s retreating figure.

“Can’t believe he’s still clueless,” Eld says, and the other three murmur in agreement.

-

Levi heads to the soccer field, where he finds Porco, Reiner, Bertolt, and Colt playing soccer. He looks over at the bleachers and finds Pieck there, reading a magazine. These guys are always together, all being from Marley.

He falters in his steps. You’re with Pieck- of course, you’d be with her. You’ve been close friends ever since you joined the Arts club in first year high. Annie is also with you two, and she’s lying on her side with her head on your lap.

Shit. He can’t go back now, that would look stupid.

As if sensing him, you look up from your book and smile as you wave at him. “Levi!”

He takes a deep breath and continues towards the three of your first. He can’t not say hi to you now that you’ve seen him.

“What brings you here?” you ask, still smiling.

“Nothing.”

Stupid.

Pieck’s face is blank, but he’s sure the cogs in her brain are turning.

“Your friends aren’t here,” Annie says in a knowing tone as she sits up, and then she looks at him with a glint in her eyes as she hugs you sideways. “Woah, I can sleep all day by just hugging you like this.”

You chuckle, patting your thighs again. “You’ll sleep better if you were lying.”

Oh, how Levi wishes he’s in Annie’s place right now.

Fuck. He must not forget the reason why he’s here. “Need to talk to them.” He gestures to the boys who are in the soccer field where Porco is throwing the ball at Reiner as he screams angrily.

“What the hell do you need from those losers?” Annie asks as she lies down again. “Don’t move.”

You pat her forehead. “Yes, ma’am.” Then you turn to Levi. “Sit here with us?”

Pieck still hasn’t said a word and is just staring at him. He can’t read her.

“Need to talk to them,” is all he says before leaving, jogging towards the field where Bertolt and Colt are now trying to stop Porco from punching Reiner. “Oi, losers.”

Porco whips his head towards Levi’s direction. “What???”

Levi asks if any of them got your name.

The four look at each other, their previous squabble momentarily forgotten.

Porco looks at where you’re seated, and Levi snaps, “don’t make it obvious, idiot!” The blond only rolls his eyes in response.

“I don’t have her name,” confirms Reiner.

“Me neither,” Colt and Bertolt say at the same time.

Porco’s mouth twitches. “I know who got it.”

Not this again, but he takes the bait. “Who?”

He draws out a hand towards Levi, palm facing up as if asking for something. He smirks and says, “c’mon, lover boy. Nothing’s free nowadays.”

Lover boy? “The fuck.”

The blond gestures in a come hither way. Levi finally relents but not without an eye roll and a sigh. He fishes for his wallet and slams a five-dollar bill on Porco’s hand. With a victorious grin, Porco pockets the money and says, “Conny has it…” and then adds, “I think.”

“You think,” Levi says drily. “Why don’t I punch you in the face to jog your memory?”

Porco waves him off, knowing it's an empty threat. “Saw it when Conny showed the paper to Jean.”

Levi lets out a troubled sigh. Of all the people Conny would show it to.

Reiner hums and adds, “I did hear them talking about it earlier. Jean was absolutely badgering him to switch names.”

Of course, Jean would. He’s been doing better at showing you what he feels.

Porco grins and winks. “Good luck. Kirstein would probably have it now, knowing he’d been trying to get in her pants since first year.”

“As if she ever acknowledged him,” Levi scoffs, turning away. “Don’t tell anyone I asked.”

Levi looks your way and sees you and Pieck watching him leave. You offer him a small wave, and he tips his head slightly in response as he continues on his way back to the school building. He tries to locate Conny, but to no avail. He’s not in the library, nor in the locker rooms. Not in the cafeteria, nor in the science lab. He saw Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, but none of them knows Conny’s whereabouts. Soon, lunch time comes to an end, and the only chance he could get to confront Baldie is if he’s alone or after classes.

Levi goes back to the classroom, and that’s where he finally finds Conny. He’s not alone, though. And of all the people he chooses to be with, it has to be Hange.

“You’re shitting me,” he grumbles under his breath.

“Oy! Shorty!” Hange yells, waving at Levi to come close. They’re seated in Rico’s desk, which is just to Levi’s left.

He drops in his chair with a scowl in his face. “Get out of here, shitty glasses.”

Hange laughs, unfazed by his foul behavior. “So, who’s your secret valentine?” they ask with a glint in their eyes, like they already know the answer.

“It’s a secret. Why would I tell you?” He crosses his arms and knees and watches Armin as he cleans the whiteboard.

“I’ll tell you who I got!” Hange offers.

“I don’t care who you got.”

Conny sighs dejectedly. “I got Rico. I don’t even know what to give her.”

Levi perks up at that. So, Jean did end up getting her name from him, then?

“Oi, baldie, you know who Jean’s is?”

“Wormie,” Conny grumbles. “...was actually mine first until he found out.” He sighs dejectedly. “I already had an idea for her gift! There was this keychain I saw in a bookstore near my place that she would’ve liked! Ugh!!”

“I got Reiner!” Hange says loudly. “I’m going to give him a 5-dollar Fitness First gift certificate on Tuesday and tell him that’s all he’ll get!” They laugh proudly at their idea.

Levi hasn’t even thought that far yet. He’ll think about the gifts once he gets your name. He turns back to the whiteboard, thinking of a plan because Jean would surely be hard to persuade.

-

Jean spends some time on the basketball court after classes, playing by himself and practicing his shots.

Levi lets himself in through the small gap between the gym doors, and if Jean senses his arrival, he doesn’t show it. Levi crosses the court with quiet steps, watching Jean shoot a lay-up then dribbling the ball thrice before passing it to him the moment he reaches the midcourt line. He catches it easily, stopping just after the line, and makes the shot. Jean watches as it goes through the ring- a perfect three-point shot. He lets the ball bounce twice before chasing after it, dribbling and then shooting for two points.

They play like this for a while, Levi with his three-point shots and Jean with his lay-ups and two-point shots. No words exchanged, just the ball being passed between the two of them after every shot. Neither of them says if they’re keeping tabs on their points.

Jean breaks the silence first by saying, “I know why you’re here.”

Levi does a lay-up and passes the ball to Jean. He’s sweating now, so he’s taken his polo shirt off and is now just in a plain white shirt.

“Good, then I don’t need to say it out loud anymore.”

Jean smirks, dribbling the ball as he walks to the three-point shot area. “What makes you think I’ll give her name to you?” He aims for a three-point shot but the ball misses the ring by an inch.

“Let’s fight then, fair and square,” Levi suggests. “First to win fifteen points.”

“Eh. I’m not stupid,” Jean answers with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I know you’ll beat me without even breaking a sweat.”

“Give me her name then.” Levi catches up to Jean, stealing the ball, pivoting towards the ring’s direction and makes a shot.

“Why should I?”

Levi stays under the ring, dribbling the ball as he faces Jean, and the latter smirks and charges. Levi pivots easily and runs towards the midcourt line. Jean chases after him, but Levi moves fast, assuming another shooting stance and then jumping to shoot without wasting a second. The ball goes into the ring— another perfect three-point shot, and Jean swears under his breath as he chases after the ball. He grabs it with both his hands and stops, his back facing Levi.

Levi isn’t sure if it’s just his imagination or a trick of the light, but Jean’s shoulders are shaking.

And then he’s laughing- the sort of laughter a pathetic person in denial makes. He throws the ball onto the wall and it bounces out of the court.

“She friend-zoned me last week.”

Levi runs after the ball and picks it up. He’s on the other side of the court now, running towards the ring, and shoots a lay-up.

“Why won’t you stop then?” he asks, but the other boy doesn’t answer. “Just give me her name, Kirstein.”

“Depends,” Jean says, head still hanging low and his back facing Levi. “Who do you have?”

“Hange.” He turns back to the ring, positioning himself in the three-point shot area, and shoots.

“Fuck, no way,” he spats. “Pass me the ball.”

Levi turns to face him, holding the ball with both hands. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Jean considers. “Anything?”

“Yes.” He passes the ball to Jean.

“You asked me why I wouldn’t stop,” Jean murmurs, his eyes glued to the ball. “I know you all think it’s just flirting, that it’s just me trying to score, but it’s not just that.” Jean dribbles the ball once, catching it with both hands, but he doesn’t make a move. “She was the only girl who stood up against me.” He chuckles, reminiscing.

Levi remembers too- you with a hardbound copy of The Lord of the Rings, repeatedly hitting Jean with it.

“Liked her since then,” he pauses to laugh. A helpless laugh. “I told myself I will never chase after someone who can’t crush my ego like she did.” Jean sighs through his mouth as he brushes the fringe of his forehead. “Anyway. I’ve been friend-zoned, for the fifth time, so I guess I really don’t stand a chance.”

And maybe they both don’t. Maybe you don’t see Levi the same way he does, but does it still matter? At this point, he just wants you to know. He’d always wanted to tell you what he feels.

“You said you’ll give me anything.” Jean lifts his head finally, looking at Levi. His eyes are a little watery, but Levi doesn’t comment about it. “PSN credits.”

Levi’s brow twitches. “How much?”

The other boy hums, thinking. “25 bucks.”

Fuck. That’s a lot…but whatever. If that’s what it takes to get you to be his valentine.

“Deal,” Levi says firmly.

Jean’s draw drops. “No shit?”

“I’ll email you the code tonight.”

“Damn. All of this just for Wormie?”

He shrugs. “She’s not just some girl.”

Jean turns away, dribbling the ball, and then shoots a lay-up. “I get it. I’m just kidding,” he says with a chuckle. “I don’t need anything in return.”

“Up to you.”

Jean tosses the ball at him, and he catches it.

“I can still give her a flower and chocolates on Valentine’s,” he says, grinning. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Whatever you want.” Levi positions himself for another three-point shot, and the ball goes into the ring. “It’s not like those will get you out of the friends only zone.”

Jean laughs loudly at that, not at all offended.

Later that night, he still emails Jean a digital PSN code worth $10, and says, As consolation for taking Hange off my hands. And an hour later, Jean responds with heh i’ll trick conny into thinking i still have wormie’s name and switch with him. but thanks for the code. goodluck

.

As a kid, Levi spent most of his time alone. He ate snacks during break time by himself, and did most of the assignments alone. Sure, he tolerated working with his classmates for group projects, but he never really had friendly conversations with them. Nothing casual, all project related talks.

Hange and Erwin were the first kids who stuck with him, who he easily became sort of friends with. 

Hange was always invading his personal space, draping their arms over his shoulders, dragging him out of the classroom during break time despite his protests, saying it’s so that he would stop looking miserable eating by himself. They prattled off incessantly despite Levi’s repeated grumbles of “so fucking noisy,” or “I dont give a fuck about that.” They never stopped talking yet, somehow, Levi didn’t mind the company.

Erwin, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of Hange. He was quiet, only observing most of the time. He was always reading history books, but he didn’t seem to mind Hange’s loud mouth at all. He always sat with Levi in silence while Hange rambled recess away.

Levi thought the three of them were a weird combination, but he supposed it’s a good weird.

The first time he ever saw you was on a field trip in fifth grade. You were in the same grade, just in a different section, but you were friends with Hange, so Levi thought it was only natural for them to introduce you to him.

He liked the color of your eyes first, and then the way your eyes crinkle when you smiled. He also liked the way his name sounded when you said it.

Your bag was full of snacks and sweets. How the heck did your parents let you leave the house with that? You ate everything unhealthy, he thought, but when you offered him some stupid mint candies from Denmark, he just couldn’t say no.

You brought a book with you to read during the trip and it was fucking annoying because he couldn’t tell you that watching you read during the bus ride made him fucking nauseous. Not when you were enjoying the book you’re reading, and that he was enjoying the little giggles you would make every time something cute happened in the story.

And there was the matter of holding your hand throughout the day, thanks to the teachers saying it’s to avoid losing a classmate, which was fucking hilarious.

Babysitting you was fucking hilarious, but he thought he liked holding your hand- it kept him focused and less bored.

He learned that you liked books like Erwin, but where Erwin was a sucker for history, you craved novels. You talked a lot, like Hange, but while they blabbered about scientific notions, you talked about Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, Oscar Wilde, and a lot more. Levi didn’t know any of those names, but he realized he’d listen either way because he liked your voice.

He couldn’t forget about that one disgusting book about witches that you grabbed from the display during that stupid field trip. He watched you smell that book, saying you like the smell of old books. He didn’t understand the appeal- old books meant they’re full of molds and inhaling molds is just fucking disgusting.

For Levi, you weren’t just a bookworm, so he called you book monster instead. Besides, Wormie is disgusting- it’s something only Hange would come up with. And you, despite your sniffing at that shitty old book about witches, are not disgusting.

You’re so fucking cute its so fucking annoying.

He should’ve known then that when he started liking one thing about you, everything else would follow, like a series of train carriages that would crash into him.

The first ever book that got him into reading was Villette, because you didn’t stop talking about it for two fucking weeks. Levi had to look it up so he could see for himself what made you love it so much. Since then he started secretly calling you Villette- an addition to his growing list of little secrets that mostly revolved around the possibility that he might have a stupid crush on you.

You always had mint or bubblegum flavored lollipops with you. He hated sweets, but he liked you enough so he tolerated the daily dose of sugar.

In sixth grade, Levi shared the secret garden with you, a small hidden place behind the school library where he always retreated to if he wanted to sleep in peace. There’s a picnic table there where Levi would sleep for a few hours after classes to wait for his mom. He wanted to keep the place a secret, but he shared it with you nonetheless. He liked the idea of you and him sharing something only between the two of you. Since then you would come to the garden after classes to read. You’d arrive a few minutes after Levi. He’d know when you’re near by hearing the dried leaves crunching under your shoes as you step on them. You’d put your bag on the table and then sit on the other bench and read quietly.

Sometimes though, it’s you who would lie on the bench, with your head on his thigh as if it’s your pillow. Levi would listen to you read your book loudly- mostly when it's a book of poems. It's funny how you try to sound poetic when reading them. He’d let his fingers or hands show you whatever feelings he had for you by combing his fingers through your hair or massaging your scalp, or by holding your book for you when your arms started to feel numb.

Sometimes, when he’s brave enough to try: he’d stroke your arm or your knee, or lace his fingers with yours. You never pulled away. You always held his hand back.

Levi, you’re my best friend, you told him then.

But do best friends really do these?

The first time he saw you angry was in first year high school, when you found some sophomore students harassing a kitten. You threw your book at them (thankfully it was a soft cover) and screamed at them, telling them you and Levi would report them to the guidance office. While Levi didn’t really care about the cat, he couldn’t let you fight the assholes by yourself. They were older than you after all, and they looked like they wouldn’t think twice of hurting you for throwing a book at them and stepping on their ego, so he stepped in and said his mom was the guidance counsellor, which, by the way, he never ever told anyone. The boys ran away, and you crouched and scooped the kitten into your arms, whereas Levi picked up your book that’s now wet from having tumbled onto a puddle of mud water. You seemed to have forgotten the book then, with your full attention on the kitten, so he kept the book and read it the same day (and he still has it at present.)

The next time he saw you going mad crazy was when you caught Jean bullying some kid from another section. It was on the school soccer field. Jean kept kicking the ball at the kid who was already red from crying, snot streaming like a river from his nose. You stomped towards Jean’s unknowing back and smacked him with your hardbound copy of The Lord of the Rings. Jean had yelled ‘what the fuck?!’ but you were unfazed and kept smacking him with the book, scolding him like you’re his damn mother for picking at someone smaller.

That was the first time Levi asked something from his mom- he wanted to be in the same section as you. His mom knew you. It turned out those weren’t the only times you hit students with books. Levi laughed then. Who would’ve thought you used books like that?

The next school year, you were transferred to Pyxis’ section. Hange had been Levi’s seatmate before they gave it up for you, and since then, you always sat next to him in class.

Break times were more fun then. You lent him your books, and he read them all and had come to like them. In fact, he even created a Goodreads account just so he’d be updated about what you were currently reading, or if you had a new favorite. He also liked reading your reviews. Reading them made him feel like he was listening to you talking.

He started reading more books so that he could also share his thoughts, because you always asked what he thought and you seemed to enjoy listening to him talk. Even field trips became more interesting, getting stuck with a bunch of noisy sore losers on the same bus was more tolerable because you were by his side. You always had snacks with you, and he enjoyed eating them more. If anything, your giving him biscuits and sweets made him feel like he was being spoiled. He liked the attention. He liked your lively eyes, your pretty smile, your stupid laughter, your loud voice, your crazy addiction to books- everything. He fucking liked everything about you.

He liked everything about you and yet he couldn’t say a word about it. He’d lose his voice, his damn brain, when you’re around. It was so frustrating how easily he came undone when you were around.

Jean wasn’t the only suitor you had- Levi knew some of the others, even boys from other years, but you never acknowledged them. Students started gossiping about how maybe you’re a tomboy, but you never really paid attention to them. When asked, you would say you already like someone but you never really showed as much interest in anyone. Maybe you liked your book boyfriends more, which he found stupid and funny, but it’s fine because that’s you.

Selfish as it is, he thought it’s good that you don’t have a boyfriend. At least you’re single, which meant he got to spend a lot of time with you alone. He wanted to have you for himself, his Villette. He’d like for things to stay as they were for as long as fate would allow.

.

You’re dozing off in Chemistry. You’re slightly facing Levi’s direction, elbow propped on your book with the side of your jaw on your knuckle. He watches your jaw slowly slide down, and then he pokes your arm to wake you up before you could end up banging your forehead on your desk.

You smile sleepily at him and turn to the whiteboard.

Levi grabs his bag, remembering he has mint candies somewhere in there. He finds it in one of the side pockets and passes it to you.

You mouth a thanks smilingly, and Levi’s heart swells.

At the end of Chemistry class, he watches you tidy up your desk quickly. Then you grab the book you’re currently reading and leave. He knows you’ll be heading to the garden to read in silence, or maybe sleep if you felt like it. Levi goes to the cafeteria first to grab some snacks but unfortunately, Hange corners him. They drag him to their table with Erwin, Moblit, Nanaba and Miche, and he spends a few minutes with them before escaping to the garden.

“Skipping lunch?” you ask, closing the book and putting it on the table.

He sits next to you, crosses his arms and knees. “Biscuits and tea.”

“Tea for lunch? Ew.” You stick his tongue out at him when he looks at you. Then you take out a plastic pouch containing a cookie from the pocket of your blazer and give it to him. “Made that last night. Those are dark chocolates, healthier than the usual.”

“No such thing as healthy sweets,” he comments, opening the pouch nonetheless and eating it. “It’s good. Not too sweet.”

You wink at him, and he almost combusts.

“Means I’ve perfected it then,” you say with a chuckle.

“You ate already?”

“Five of those.” You gesture at the cookie.

“Jesus, V.”

Shit.

Oh shit.

That makes you laugh. “V?” you ask, slightly tilting your body so that you’re facing him. You bump the side of your knee against his. “May I know what V stands for?” you ask in a teasing tone.

He lets out a defeated sigh. “Villette.”

You bump your head against the side of his shoulder good-naturedly. “Is that why you never called me Wormie? Because you call me Villette? Since when did you start calling me that?”

“I like your name better,” is all he says.

You hum lightly. “I like Villette. Or whatever else you want to call me. I’d like it more if it’s something only you would call me.”

His heart’s racing in his chest.

He looks at you, and he almost gasps, realizing you’re already looking at him. You’re smiling- that pretty fucking smile he falls for all the fucking time.

He swallows the last of the cookie as he looks away.

You poke at his bicep. “Move, please. I want to sleep.”

“Huh?” He blinks at you. “You want me to go away?”

“Dumbass, of course not.” You push him lightly so that he’s seated near the edge of the bench, and then you lie down sideways, your head on his lap. Levi stiffens, swallowing whatever’s stuck in his damn throat.

“I’m so sleepy. My eyes kept rolling to the back of my head during Chemistry,” you mumble.

Levi comes into his senses, and when he realizes you aren’t wearing your jogging pants under your skirt, he takes his blazer off and drapes it over your thighs.

“Thank you,” you hum.

He squeezes the side of your upper arm. “I’m guessing you stayed up late reading a book.”

A quiet chuckle escapes your mouth. “Pudd'nhead Wilson,” you say. “I’ll lend you my copy. I loved it so much.”

He chuckles. “Have you ever not liked any book?”

“Wuthering Heights, but only because I found it so histrionic,” you murmur. “Fifty Shades trilogy…Sense and Sensibility…” you continue on sleepily.

“Okay, okay…” he hums. He looks at you fondly, his heart swelling with so much adoration in his chest it feels like it would explode soon. He pats your head lightly and starts coursing his fingers through your hair. You let out a satisfied sigh, your hand resting on his knee.

“There’s a new tea shop near my father’s office. The Daily Steep.” Your fingers slightly brush Levi’s knee through the fabric of his slacks, and the sensation makes his blood rush to somewhere he very much doesn’t want it going right now. “They make good tea. Can I take you there sometime?”

You can take him anywhere you want, anytime you want.

He reaches over for your hand that’s on his knee and squeezes it. “Sleep, V. I’ll wake you up when lunch is over.”

“Okay, but please don’t stop doing whatever you’re doing with my hair.”

He laughs and does as he’s told. “Alright, princess.” He leans back on the table as he continuously combs your hair.

You turn to lie on your back, and you look at Levi with half-closed eyes and a sleepy smile. “I’m so glad I have you, Levi,” you murmur sleepily. “Every day, I thank the stars for it.”

He brushes your fringe out of your eyes and lets his fingers stay by your cheek as he stares back.

You bring your hand over his, and what he thinks is that he’s the lucky one.

He’ll always be the lucky one.

-

“Furlan, I need your help,” Levi says, storming into his step brother's room

“Just a sec!” the blond says as he aggressively clicks on his mouse. “Shit, shit… Shit!” On the screen it says killed by furrrina, and Furlan’s character is sprawled in a weird angle on the ground, lying in the pool of its own blood. “That was so close.” He exits the game, rage quitting, and turns in his swivel chair to face Levi. “What’s up?”

“You know someone who makes pins.”

Furlan juts his lower lip, humming. “Are you asking or what?” He laughs knowingly and says, “I do.”

“Can you get them to make something for me?”

“Erm- wait a sec.” Furlan turns in his chair away from Levi to locate his phone under the mess of notebooks and empty packs of chips on his gaming table. “You can talk to her using my account.”

Levi watches as his step brother works on his phone, bringing up the messaging app and looking for the said person. Then he passes the phone to Levi, an empty group chat with a person named Makino showing on screen.

“Thanks.”

Furlan crosses his arms as he leans back in his chair. It tips far back that Levi’s surprised he doesn’t fall back.

“Just so you know, they’re expensive. The enamel pins.”

“I don’t care.” Levi sits on the bed and starts typing: Hi. This is Furlan’s brother. I wanted to ask if you can make custom pins for me and would they be ready by next week.

The blond turns back to his computer and switches it on. “Is this for secret valentine?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re never the type to spend money on something.” Furlan turns to him for a moment, smirking. “Why do I get the feeling I know who the lucky girl is?”

Levi hears the opening spiel to the game Furlan’s playing. He hits the send button, hoping Makino would respond quickly.

He gets up from the bed and walks towards Furlan’s desk to leave his phone. “Tell me when she replies.”

“Aye, aye! Are you busy? Let’s play HD2! Eren and Jean are here. We’re missing one more helldiver!”

“I need to go somewhere,” he says, patting Furlan’s shoulder. “Maybe later tonight.”

“I hear a promise!”

“Sure.”

After lunch, Levi leaves for the mall to look for some other ideas for gifts- plan B for when the enamel pins wouldn’t be ready by next week. First, he goes to a local bookstore which also offers a variety of stationery, arts and crafts, novelty notebooks, and other collectibles. He found some enamel pins, but he didn’t quite like the designs- they’re too simple. He skips the bookmarks because he knows you make your own. Keychains- nah, everybody else probably already has them.

His standards are just too high, it's stupid.

But he wants to give you the best.

He plucks a keychain from the display, a gnome with a blue body and blue hat with a letter embroidered on the hat just above its forehead and with stars scattered around it. He finds the tag which says: Abracadabra, here’s a lucky gnome for you, to bring you luck in all you do. He notices the other gnomes of different colors with different letters on their hats, so he turns the display to look for one that has the letter of your name on it. This one now has a hat and body that are light purple. He glances at the price tag- $5 isn’t that bad. He’ll recover in a week or two.

Satisfied, Levi turns to leave… and stops.

Somehow, it doesn’t feel right.

He goes back to the display of keychains, going over the letters until he finds a pastel yellow gnome with red stars and a red letter V embroidered on its hat.

Now, this feels better.

He puts the purple gnome back on the display and leaves.

Levi walks around the bookstore for a few more minutes, looking for other stuff that would catch his attention. He finds a set of DIY bookmarks that he finds interesting, but the price is a bit unreasonable. Though it might be because there are acrylic paints and brushes included.

He pauses to consider if he would get it when his phone starts ringing. He fishes for his phone as he walks away.

It’s Furlan calling. He answers.

“Levi! I gave Maki your profile. Check your spam.”

Levi pulls the phone away from his ears to check the app. It takes him a moment to find the spam folder- he doesn’t use the app that much so he’s not very familiar with it, and finds that there is a message from Makino.

“There is. Thanks, Furlan.”

“I accept payment in the form of donuts!” Furlan laughs.

Levi smiles. “Sure.”

“Niiiiiiice! Bye!” Furlan ends the call.

Levi grabs a simple small paper bag to put the keychain in and then pays for the items before leaving the bookstore. He goes to the food court, orders a light snack as an excuse to occupy a seat, and then turns to his phone to check the pin maker’s message.

Makino: Sorry, that can’t be done! The pins are mass made and manufactured somewhere else. I need at least 10 pcs for each design to produce them and production takes at least two months…

Makino: What designs are you looking for tho? Maybe I have something you’d be interested in.

Makino: I also have limited edition pins that are on their way now… they’ll most likely arrive in two weeks or so 

She sent a couple of pictures which Levi assumes are the limited edition ones she mentioned. There are twelve designs, six black cats in different poses and six book related pins.

Well, that’s a nice coincidence.

Levi considers. It wouldn’t hurt to buy some for you, would it? There are some that caught his attention- the cat in a flower pot with leaves in its mouth, cat between the pages of an open book with daisies behind it, a pin with a closed book that has i have lived a thousand lives written on its spine and an open book on top of it where a dragon flies out, and another pin that’s related to Alice in Wonderland where the book is held open by Alice and the phrase we’re all mad here is written on the cover.

Each picture is labeled with a letter, so Levi sends the ones he likes and asks how much they would be.

He’s probably spending too much, and he knows you wouldn’t like it, but it’s just for this occasion– even if the pins would arrive after valentine’s day.

Levi slumps in his seat, sighing. He wants to give you everything he could.

His phone chimes, and he quickly looks at it.

Makino: I’ll give them to you at $3.50 each… we’re on sale for the whole month :)

It’s just this once. He’d like to think he’s spoiling his…girlfriend.

Just thinking about that nearly makes him explode.

Levi: That’s nice. I’ll take them. How do I send the payment and how do I get the items?

Makino: Well, we can either meet up or you can just give the payment to Furlan once the items arrive and I’ll give the pins to him 

Levi: That works. Thanks a lot.

Makino: Sure thing! I’ll update you once they arrive 

Well, that’s a relief. He’ll have another two weeks or so to save up for those items. 

Levi locks his phone and keeps it in his pocket. Now, he has to find one more gift for you that’s something sweet. Maybe chocolates and flowers would do the trick- you like sweets anyway. He’ll just have to find something unique.

Hm…

He grabs his phone again and looks for a recipe for cookies. Baking cookies should be easy, right? Isabel and his mom sometimes bake. They’ll surely help him.

He takes a screenshot of the list of ingredients needed for the usual chocolate chip cookie and then heads to the grocery to buy them. He plans to add his own twists to the cookie to make it special. Like… adding your favorite chocolates instead of the normal chocolate chips, or stuffing it with some marshmallows…

There are so many choices for chocolates, but he remembers you brought Reese’s and Milky Way more than anything else back in grade school, so he grabs a pack of each of those. He also grabs a pack of your favorite mint chocolates and chocolate coated marshmallows. Those should be enough.

He sends his mom a message to let her know he’ll be using his credit card– which is connected to his mom’s– so she wouldn’t be surprised when the bill arrives.

Alright! He’s all set. Hopefully, everything goes well.

-

On Monday, Pyxis brings two medium-sized boxes with him, each labeled with boys and girls, and tells the class, “those who have their gifts with them can now put them in here. No peeking.” He drops the boxes with a loud thump in the front corner before going to his desk. “Alright. Open your books to page 354, we’ll have a graded recitation after the discussion.” The students chorus a groan as they each get their books.

Levi’s fumbling for his book in his bag when you put a plastic pouch with a cookie inside on his desk.

You smile when he looks at you, and say, “that’s another flavor. It’s stuffed with caramelized white chocolate. My new favorite!”

And it’s got sprinkles all over. It’s so colorful just like you.

“Tying to set up a cookie business?”

You chuckle. “If I did, would you be my number one customer?”

He smiles. Fuck teeth cavities. “Why not? Thanks for this.” He pockets the cookie pouch as he turns his attention back to the teacher in front…not knowing you’re still looking at him with a soft smile in your lips.

The day passes by uneventfully. Levi drops his gift in the box after classes, when the only ones left are the cleaners Rico, Nifa, and Floch. There are already a few gifts in there, and when he takes a peek at the boys’ box, he spots a box wrapped in kraft paper with his name written on a messy handwriting on it, like the one who wrote it is a child who’s just starting to learn how to write. Nice trick.

-

The next day, Pyxis announces that homeroom period will be after classes, and that distribution of gifts won’t start until then to give ample time to anyone who hasn’t dropped their gifts yet. He takes a quick attendance and leaves his students to themselves.

The class breaks into chaos- Hange’s up on their feet, roaming around to pry on everyone’s secret valentine. Oluo and Eld are rummaging through the gifts in the box for boys, looking for theirs. Jean and Eren are fighting over another disastrous game last night. The Marley boys leave the classroom to buy snacks from the cafeteria.

You’re busy doodling in your small notepad when Hange jumps you, throwing their arms around your neck.

“Wormiiieeeee,” they coo, “who’s your valentine?”

Levi's ears strain to listen.

“It’s not you, Hange,” you say vaguely, still doodling in your notebook.

They laugh. “Of course, it’s not me. C’mon, you can whisper it in my ear!”

“You’ll know it on Thursday.”

Hange purses their lips then turns to Levi.

“Fuck off, shitty glasses,” he scoffs before Hange could even take a step towards him.

Unfazed, Hange drapes themselves over Levi’s back. “I know who you got,” they say with a knowing smile.

Levi swats at their arm. “Go away.”

“Ah, you two.” Hange relents, patting Levi’s and your head as they leave for their next target which is Petra.

“Woah,” you breathe out, raising your notepad at eye level. “Levi, look!” You turn the page towards him.

Heat immediately rises to his cheeks. On the paper is a chibi version of him, and it’s just his head, but it’s big and it fits the whole page. In your drawing, he looks embarrassed, looking away with his brows slightly furrowed.

You grin, turning it towards you again. “You’re so cute when you get flustered,” you giggle, doodling again.

Flustered???

His heart pounds against his ribcage so hard he thinks you’d hear it if your classmates are quiet.

“And a few more…” you murmur, scribbling another heart at the bottom corner. “My cute little flustered Levi.”

Your whAT????

Levi clears his throat and says, “you’ve got too much sugar in your brain.”

You tear the page off the notepad and give it to him. You’ve scattered small, haphazardly sketched hearts at the empty space above his head and below his chin and added a scribble of lines that resemble a blush on his cheeks. There’s also a thought bubble at the upper right of his head which says Villette! ❤ 

Fuck. Does any of this mean anything? Have you finally caught on to his feelings???

“I’m gonna draw Hange too. And Erwin,” you say with a giggle as you start sketching the shape of a face.

It’s probably nothing. He’s got no reason to be stupidly blushing because of a stupid drawing, like some stupid highschool- wait, he’s in fucking highschool.

FuuuUCK.

Levi folds the paper with the drawing facing outwards, and puts it in the slot meant for a picture in his wallet.

It’s nothing, it’s nothing. Don’t get your hopes high, he tells himself.

Shadis arrives, algebra book in hand and a whiteboard marker in the other and starts talking about quadratic equations… but all Levi could think about is your drawing. It’s all he could think of for the rest of the day.

The day soon ends, and Pyxis comes back for homeroom period as promised.

Levi wants to disintegrate, thinking you wouldn’t like what he has for you.

“First things first,” he starts, clearing his throat, “don’t forget: we have a quiz tomorrow.”

“But we just had a graded recitation!!” someone cries in suffering.

Pyxis heads to where the boxes of gifts are as his students grumble their complaints. He starts with the girls, plucking the gifts out of the box and calling the recipient.

He watches as you get up to get the paper bag from Pyxis, and as you open it on your way back to your desk. You pluck the keychain out of the paper bag with a big smile on your face, and when you see the letter V on its hat, your eyes automatically find Levi’s.

His heart skips a beat, and he almost misses it when his name’s called. Levi gets up quickly, thankful for the distraction, because he swears he’s going to implode if he doesn’t look away anytime soon. His knees feel like jelly, and his heart keeps pounding against his chest he’s worried it’d drill a hole through his ribcage and jump out if it didn’t stop soon.

He receives the box with his name on it, not opening it until he’s seated again. Inside the box is a pack of loose tea leaves- a blend of black tea, cardamom and roses. The label says it’s from The Daily Steep.

He remembers that name.

Calm down, he tells himself. It could’ve been just a coincidence.

“What’s that?” you ask, but the tone in your voice suggests you already know.

Levi turns to you, and you’re slightly facing him as usual- your elbow propped on the desk and your cheek on your knuckle.

You’re smiling.

It steals his fucking breath away.

“Tea,” he manages to say (or wheeze? He doesn’t know. He probably sounded stupid.)

“Did you like it?”

He swallows. So fucking much, he means to say, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

You smile knowingly. Then you turn away, hearing Pieck calling your name.

“C’mon, Wormie. Time to make decors for Friday.”

You gasp. “Shit! I forgot.” You scramble to your feet, shoving the keychain into the pocket of your blazer as you drape a strap of your backpack on your shoulder. You turn to Levi for a moment and squeeze his arm. “See you tomorrow, Levi.”

He grabs your hand as you leave.

He locks his eyes with you. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

It’s now or never.

“See you, V.”

Shiiiiiiiiit. He could use a scream right now, like a stupid high school girl or something.

You smile, holding his hand long enough until he’s the first one to let go. He watches you jog out of the classroom, hooking your arms around Pieck’s elbow as you giggle. She flicks your forehead, smiling fondly, and you laugh.

He smacks his forehead on his desk, his face hot. FUuuuuuuuCcKKkkkk.

He wants to scream. He wants to bang his head on his desk repeatedly. He wants to chase after you and steal you from Pieck and the stupid arts club and keep you to himself forever and ever.

FUckKkk.

Now would really be the best time to explode because he doesn’t know how to recover from this.

-

Levi didn’t sleep last night. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop thinking that it was all just his stupid imagination. That it could’ve been just a product of his stupid crush, his stupid desire to let you know what he feels.

His head’s spinning, he feels lightheaded that he thinks if his neck splits in two, his head will float like a damn balloon. He couldn’t focus on the quiz paper in front of him, his eyes keep zooming into the gnome keychain on your bag- the one he gave you.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s thinking it’s all just his imagination, still thinks all of these are part of a stupid dream. Or worse, the tea could have been from Hange- they know his obsession with tea. What makes it even worse is that Hange has a stupid inkling that Levi likes you. Both them and Erwin actually, but it’s Hange who has been relentlessly teasing him about it.

Jesus Christ, he’s going to botch this quiz and all he would still think about is the damn tea.

He pinches the bridge of his nose harder and forces himself to focus on the quiz.

He glues his eyes on his paper, unaware of you stealing glances of him.

At lunch, Levi retreats to the garden as usual, but you don’t show up because of the damn decorations for the festival on Friday. Somehow he’s grateful, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to keep his shit if it’s only the two of you alone.

But then he misses you, and he wants to hear your voice again, and see your smile, and hold your hand, and… and…

He smacks his head on the picnic table.

“Let me sleep, V,” he groans.

-

Thursday comes faster than Levi would’ve liked.

Pyxis announces that homeroom would be after classes again, and this time, they’ll give the gifts to their secret valentine themselves.

Fuck. He isn’t ready. He thinks the cookies he made taste like shit, even if Isabel, Furlan, and his mom assured him they’re great.

“She’ll love them, Levi,” his mom told him before he left for school, but it didn’t really help calm his nerves.

He feels like all of this is for nothing. That you’ll reject him because you like someone else, as you always tell everyone. Or that you’re into girls...

Jesus Christ, please just fucking take him.

A rose flavored lollipop appears on his desk, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looks up as you sit at your desk.

Your eyes widen. “Levi, you look like a zombie! Didn’t sleep?”

“Yeah.” He pockets the lollipop. “What?” he asks, noticing you’re openly staring.

“Nothing,” you hum. “Have you tried the tea yet?”

“No.” He plants his forehead on the desk. He’s so fucking sleepy. “Why?”

“Just wondering if you liked the blend.”

He can’t understand what’s happening anymore.

Now would be the best time for aliens to abduct him.

“I knew I should’ve gotten the one with mangoes, cinnamon, and clove,” you mumble.

Did he hear that right???

He lifts his head to look at you, but then the teacher arrives. Their first subject starts, and Levi struggles to stay awake for the rest of the period.

Lunch isn’t any different than yesterday. He’s alone in the garden, and you’re still helping with the decorations for tomorrow.

He misses you so fucking much he feels like he’s going to cry.

The rest of the day passes by quickly. Levi’s a bundle of nerves by then. When Pyxis comes back for homeroom period, Levi wishes he’d melt into a puddle of chocolate fondue to escape the inevitable.

“Alright,” Pyxis clears his throat, “moment of truth.”

He has no idea how those words make Levi want to disintegrate so badly.

The teacher turns to Miche who’s the first in the first row in front. “Why don’t you start us off, Miche?”

“Sure.” Miche gets up and walks to Nifa, giving her a small paper bag.

Nifa says her thanks. Pyxis clears his throat and says, “kids, where’s the joy? That looked like you were doing some illegal business!” he laughs.

Levi watches as his classmates get up and give their gifts…until the only ones who haven’t received anything yet are you and him.

There’s a chorus of woah around him as everybody realizes what’s happening.

Pyxis chuckles. “Well?”

His cheeks start burning.

You put a brown paper bag on his desk. It has hand drawn hearts around his name that’s written in the same messy scribble of lines as the one on the wrapper of the tea box.

Fuck.

His heart is racing in his chest as his classmates tease him- he knows they’re teasing him. Why the hell are they teasing only him?!

“You’re fucking red as tomatoes, man!” Oluo laughs.

“Fuck you,” he mouths at him, then he flips the bird just to make a point.

His ears feel hot. Someone slams their hands on their desk, and in the chaos of whistles and ayiiie around him, he hears Hange yelling “the ship is sailing!”

Sailing? He thinks he’s fucking soaring.

How the fuck is the class so noisy? Why is Pyxis not doing his damn job of keeping the class quiet?!

You’re laughing amidst it all, and the sound of your laughter is enough to pull Levi back to the ground. He grabs the box of cookies and shoves it in your waiting hands. There are six pouches in there, originally three because according to Isabel, it’s meant to say “I love you”. He just added another three because what he wants to say is “i love you so fucking much.” He looks at you and, fuck, you’re grinning at him like you’re enjoying this.

“Alright! Tone it down, kiddos!” Pyxis yells over the chorus of screams and teases. “Everyone’s got their gifts?”

“Yes, sir!!!”

Levi’s staring at the handwriting on the paper bag. He should’ve known, you and your hilarious tricks.

“Levi,” you say, reaching for his arm, and he startles. You chuckle. “You’re red!”

Steam comes out of his ears. His face feels like it’s nearing 450°F.

“I’m not,” he lies.

“Did you make these?”

“Yeah. Don’t expect much though. They’re probably shit.” He says, avoiding your face entirely.

Crap. Of course, they would be shit. Maybe he should’ve kept them at three pieces. Jesus fucking Christ.

You chuckle again. “I bet they’re delicious.”

He scoffs.

“Hey,” you say softly, holding his chin and making him turn to you.

Fuuuuuuuck it, he’s going to implode.

He hears someone screaming the song, "Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?"

You smile. “Relax, Levi. It’s just me.”

You’re wrong. You’re fucking wrong. He swallows.

“You’re… You’re not just you.” What does he even mean by that? Shit.

You slightly squeeze his jaw, your thumb stroking his cheek. Then you move forward and kiss him on his cheek.

Holy fucking shiiiiiiiit.

“Oi, oi, oi! No PDA in front of us pathetic single beings!” Jean scolds.

“You’re just jealous you never got to score,” Eren quips.

“Fuck you!” Jean spats. “That’s below the belt!”

You’re smiling as you pull away. “See you tomorrow, my valentine.”

His heart’s pounding in his chest. How the hell is it still inside??

You squeeze his cheek one last time, but he grabs your hand before you could even let go of his face.

“V, I-”

I like you. So fucking much. I fucking like you ever since we were in grade school.

His mouth says the words, but he doesn’t hear anything. Did he finally say it out loud? Did you hear him say anything?

You look away- there’s someone at the door, summoning you and Pieck for the arts club.

He squeezes your hand, not wanting to let go. You smile at him, pulling away.

“Tomorrow,” you promise.

Levi watches as you leave, and he knows you understand. He knows you know even if he never got to tell you.

He palms his cheek, the feeling of your lips still lingering on his skin.

It all feels surreal.

But he doesn’t want to explode now. He doesn’t want the Almighty One or the aliens to take him. He wants to be with you. And you promised tomorrow.

“Shorty!”

“Fuck!” Levi almost bangs his forehead on his desk when Hange suddenly drapes themselves over his back.

They giggle maniacally. “Look at that face. You’re blushing, holy shit!”

“I’ve been told,” he groans. “Fuck off.” He pries their arms off his neck, but they only tighten them.

Erwin sits on Gunther’s chair in front of Levi, smiling knowingly. “You survived that.”

“Fuck you too.”

Erwin laughs.

“What’s inside, huh? Let’s open it!” Hange reaches for the paper bag. 

Levi bats their hands away. “I’m not opening it with you around. Get lost.”

“C’mon, Levi! I feel betrayed that you got rid of my name, but whatever’s inside Wormie’s gift will make up for it!”

He doesn’t even want to know how Hange found out. 

“Fuck off,” he scowls.

Hange finally lets go, laughing loudly. “Never seen you so flushed before!”

Levi smacks his face and drags his palm down his face, as if it’ll somehow wipe the color off his cheeks.

Erwin rises to his feet and pats Levi’s shoulders. “You’ve been dancing around each other for so long.”

“Whatever the fuck do you mean.” Levi grabs his bag, tossing your gift in it. He gets up and follows Erwin and Hange out of the room.

Hange drapes their arms over his shoulders and says, “means you’re an idiot! But you’re my friend, so I still love you!”

“Whatever.”

-

Levi doesn’t see you around in the morning. You’re excused, together with Pieck, to work on the decorations for the booths for the festival later today.

He sighs, slouching in his seat. His eyes land on the keychain you gave him for something sweet- a crocheted light yellow teddy bear. It’s handmade, he’s pretty sure of that, because the eyes are unevenly placed on its face and the arms aren’t of the same length. It’s fucking hilarious but it’s cute. His heart swells in his chest, thinking you made it yourself. Somehow, he’s certain it's you who made it.

All classes end at eleven in the morning. Levi walks around aimlessly and alone, hoping he’d catch even a glimpse of you. The cafeteria is full, but he feels you’re not there so he leaves after buying some snacks. The track and field oval is bustling with activity- booths line up in the middle of the field, and students are walking around, checking out what they can buy.

Levi follows behind a group of girls squealing over some trinkets- some lewd keychains. He passes by them, uninterested, and goes over to the booth with flowers in the display.

“Hey there! Interested in our chocolate flowers?”

“Chocolate flowers,” he says drily.

The girl smiles. “Because they’re made of chocolates!”

He hums thoughtfully.

“These are white chocolates,” she says, gesturing over the white roses. “Those are dark chocolates-” she points at the red ones, and then to the pink ones, “and milk chocolates.” She goes over to the smaller display with light blue roses. “These are mint infused chocolates. Our best seller, so far!”

Sounds like something you’d like.

“One white and one blue, please.”

She grins. “Good choice! Lemme set them up in a bouquet.” She walks to the back of the booth and asks, “do you want to add this?” She raises a small teddy bear that’s hugging a heart with the letters ILY embroidered on it.

“Sure.” Whatever.

He pays for the small bouquet the girl has put up and leaves to start looking for you.

Hm… Where would you be?

He hears a speaker feedback noise coming from the stage that’s being setup at the other end of the oval. Eld’s standing behind the mic, tapping it repeatedly until it finally makes a sound. He pulls on the guitar strap over his shoulder to bring the instrument to his front. Gunther’s behind him, tuning his bass. Two other students come onto the stage, one sits behind the drums while the other one is in lead guitar.

He finds you, finally. You’re on the stage as well, still setting up the decorations made of hand-drawn cutout letters that spell out HAPPY VALENTINE’S!

You’re busy, but you’re smiling and Levi likes that.

Maybe later, then. The chocolates can wait. He’s waited for four years, he can wait for another hour or two.

Eld clears his throat and speaks in the mic. “Requests are welcome, everyone!” Then their lead guitarist begins to play the intro to Walk the Moon’s Shut Up and Dance.

Levi turns to the direction of the garden, ready to retreat for an hour or two of peace, when he hears Eld saying his name in the mic- something about asking if it’s the Levi he knows. And then- “anyway, this is from V.”

Levi stops in his steps.

The band plays another round of the intro before Eld finally sings. "Oh, don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me.”

He finds you easily, just beside the stage, dancing with Pieck.

“I said, ‘You're holding back.’ She said, ‘Shut up and dance with me!’”

You take Annie’s hand, encouraging her to dance too.

You like doing that, don’t you? Holding someone’s hand and taking the lead. Like what you always do to him. He always thinks he’s got it covered, but then you come around and he loses his shit. And then you’d take his hand and everything just falls back in its place, like having you around just makes everything right.

“This woman is my destiny, she said, ooh-ooh, shut up and dance with me!"

He fishes for his phone and sends you a message- just a simple smiley.

He listens to the whole song, watching you enjoy yourself with your friends, before finally going to the garden to sleep. He keeps the chocolate flowers close to his chest, hoping they won’t melt in the heat.

Levi dreams a little, your smiling face, your laughter, and then when you’re focused on a book. In his dream, he’s seated beside you, and you’re leaning sideways against him with your head on his shoulder. He’s combing his fingers through your hair as you read, and he kisses the top of your head every minute or so.

Then he hears you calling his name. Twice, thrice, until it finally stirs him awake.

Your smiling face appears before him. What a nice way to wake up.

“Hello,” you say softly. You’re crouching to level your face with his.

“Hey,” he greets back, blinking the sleep away as he sits up. “Shit-” he almost drops the flowers, he’s forgotten about them for a moment, but you manage to catch them. “Those are yours."

You smile, sniffing on the blue one. “Ooh, I smell mint.”

You’ve changed into a simple pastel yellow shirt and your P.E. pants. You stand up, offering your hand to him. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

You let out a tsk, grabbing for his hand. “Just come with me.” You pull him up and start walking, still holding his hand.

He’s not sure if it’s because he’s had a few minutes of sleep, but he feels brave. He laces his fingers with yours, and you turn to him to smile before looking ahead again.

He likes holding your hand like this. It feels great.

“Did you have lunch already?” he asks.

“Had some biscuits while working.”

“Let’s get you lunch first.”

“Later,” you say, grinning at him. “There’s something we need to do first.”

“And it’s more important than lunch,” he surmises.

“Yes, it is!” You laugh.

You lead him back to the oval, through the throng of students frolicking around the booths. It’s worse now, at past two in the afternoon, that it’s almost suffocating to be there.

Levi tightens his hold on your hand, not wanting to lose you in the crowd.

You stop before the wedding booth, smiling at him.

“What…”

“Someone wants to marry you,” you say with a chuckle, letting go of his hand.

On impulse, he tries to reach for it to hold it again, but he stops. He turns to look at the booth, following your line of sight, and sees Petra getting adorned with a makeshift veil of white japanese paper.

He turns to you in disbelief, but you’re still looking at Petra, smiling as if admiring her beauty.

“V-”

It doesn't feel right. It fucking hurts. He feels… he’s been led on.

You turn to him, and the smile drops from your face. “Levi?”

How could you? All those sweet talks, your holding his hand, the fucking kiss on his cheek???

He lets out a sharp breath, as if he means to laugh. He should’ve known- when you said he’s your best friend, he should’ve known that’s all he will ever be.

He swallows, accepting the bitter truth of rejection. He turns to Petra again, thinking how he could reject her without overly hurting her feelings.

Petra looks back at him, and then at you, with a confused look on her face. And then she realizes it, eyes widening and jaw dropping. “Eh? It’s not me!” She sputters, cheeks flushed. Then she hurriedly leaves the wedding booth. “Where the fuck is Oluo!”

“Oh…” you murmur, realizing what just happened. “Levi,” you say with a small chuckle. “You’re a dumbass, my God.”

He whips his head in your direction. “What?”

In the background, Eld’s band ends Color me Badd's All 4 Love, and immediately starts another upbeat rock song with Eld yelling “Yeah!” through the mic.

There’s an excited cheer from the crowd that has gathered in front of the stage.

You sigh. “It’s me, dumbass.” You knock at his head lightly. “It’s me who wants to marry you!” You laugh light-heartedly.

"What, what, what, what, what, what, what," Eld sings the opening lyrics to a song Levi isn’t familiar with.

“What,” Levi utters dumbly.

What would you say if you could say
Everything you needed to
To the one you needed to

You cup his face, smiling. “Marry me, Levi.”

He stares at you dumbly, not knowing what to say. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. It’s like he’s run out of words.

Damn, he can’t even believe what’s happening. If this really is happening.

He’s so tempted to punch himself in the face to wake himself up from this dream.

You flash like a setting sun
You come around, I come undone

You squeeze his face, as if to ground him back.

Can't find the sound under my tongue when I look at you

He manages a smile. “You want to marry me…” he says, as if to make sure.

You nod and tilt your head to the direction of the wedding booth. “There, at least,” you answer. “For now.”

For now.

Fuck. Whatever the fuck that means.

Eld sings in the background, and Levi swears the song’s for him. That it’s about him.

I lose my voice when I look at you
Can't make a noise though I'm trying to

“Levi!” You laugh.

He takes your hands in his. “You sure?”

Tell you all the right words
Waiting on the right words

You smile, letting go of one of his hands as you lead him towards the booth.

Hange materializes out of nowhere, excitedly yelling, “I’m here!! I’m officiating!”

You squeeze his hand gently.

“Here are your fancy wedding rings,” Hange chirps, passing you a blue gacha capsule.

“Erwin got these from the claw machine in the arts club booth,” you say, opening the egg-shaped case to show the rings in question to him. There are two adjustable gold tone wrap around rings with fake heart shaped jewels that look more like candies.

He lets out an incredulous laugh. “You’re all in this together, huh?”

“Because you’re a dumbass,” you chuckle, pocketing the toy rings.

He sighs defeatedly, “guilty as charged.”

Hange clears their throat. “Let’s get to it!”

Erwin appears behind them, smiling.

Levi doesn’t listen to Hange’s blabbering of whatever it is they’re reading from their makeshift wedding rites notebook. His eyes are on you, on your pretty smile, as you laugh at Hange’s antics. And then you turn to him, which makes him gasp.

“I want a real kiss!” Hange demands. “In the mouth! With tongue!”

You cup Levi’s cheeks and reel him in for a chaste kiss on his lips.

He nearly combusts right there and then.

Hange shrieks like a stupid ostrich, hitting Erwin with the notebook.

Erwin’s arm is raised for cover and says, “Hange, you need to pronounce them husband and wife.”

Levi no longer waits for whatever the fuck it is that Hange needs to do. He pulls you in again, this time initiating the kiss. You giggle against his lips, kissing him back. It’s a long and unhurried kiss that he unfortunately has to stop because if he doesn’t pull away anytime soon, he’d melt into a puddle of goo. He can’t just melt into something stupid- he's waiting for this moment for four long years.

“Finally.” You take Levi’s hands and squeeze them gently.

He smiles softly, kissing you on the forehead. “I- I’m in love with you, V. So fucking in love with you. Ever since sixth grade.”

“I know,” you say with a chuckle, bumping your forehead against his chin.

He blinks. “You do?”

“I liked you way back in fifth grade, Levi.” You laugh.

“And it’s all thanks to me,” Hange says proudly, twisting to make a grand bow. “Finally! Levi’s no longer single! I heard that sex improves the mood!” They announce loudly, earning a laughter from the crowd that Levi hasn’t realized has gathered around them. They’re all his classmates- Nanaba and Miche, Petra and Oluo, the Marley guys, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and the rest of their group.

“Don’t you dare sink, my all-time favorite ship,” Nanaba says with a chuckle.

“Wait!!” you gasp, startling Levi. “The rings!”

He lets out an incredulous huff. You laugh as you take the gacha capsule out of the pocket of your P.E. pants. Levi takes the pink one and puts it on your finger, while you take the blue one to put it on him.

Hange squeals. “Picture, picture!!!” Everyone gathers around you and Levi, but Hange says, “wait! Newlyweds first!”

The crowd disperses, making you laugh. Hange fishes for your phone that’s in the pocket of Erwin’s blazer- you’ve asked him to hold it for you- and takes a picture of you and Levi.

“One more!”

Levi pulls you closer, his arm around the middle of your back, and you raise your hand to your chest to show off the ring.

“Alright, group picture!!!” Hange produces a selfie stick- Levi doesn’t know where the fuck they get these things- and puts your phone on it.

From the stage, Eld yells through the mic, “wait for us!!!!” Feedback shrieks from the speakers as Eld yanks the jack out of his guitar. Gunther follows, zipping through the crowd to get into the picture. 

You laugh, hugging Levi sideways. “I love you,” you say, kissing the space where his jaw meets the ear.

He turns to kiss your forehead. “I love you too.”

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

“I thought we just got married,” he teases.

You chuckle and kiss his cheek. “We just got married.” You kiss his chin next. “What will you call me now?”

He kisses your forehead again- he fucking lives for it. “Love.”

You nod, hugging him sideways. “I like that.”

"My moon and stars," he continues, lips near your ear, and you giggle, knowing he got it from one of your books. "My fucking destiny," he goes on. "My one and only. My sunshine."

You slap his arm, laughing.

Hange starts counting, and you turn back to the camera, grinning.

The picture’s chaotic, what with everybody trying to get their faces into the frame. Pieck’s caught in the act of throwing their arms around your neck, while Annie’s arms are around your waist. Porco’s crouching in front of you, posing like a hip hop dancer with Colt next to him. Eren’s standing on his toes, peeking behind Jean who’s also tiptoeing to keep Eren out of the picture. You’re laughing, mouth open wide, while Levi’s scowling at Eld who managed to hide half of Levi’s face behind his head. Conny’s dabbing behind Gunther, who’s standing like a soldier (but grinning) while Sasha’s caught in the act of putting a chunk of sandwich in her mouth.

-

You’re giggling as you press the post button. There are five pictures in your carousel post- a solo of you and Levi where you’re showing off the toy ring, a picture of Erwin on the claw machine and Hange cheering for him, a selfie picture of you, Annie and Pieck in front the Arts club booth, holding heart cutouts and making kissy faces, Eld and Gunther singing on stage, and your chaotic group picture. In the caption you say, best valentine’s day yet <3

Levi pulls you into a side hug. The two of you have retreated to the garden for a moment of peace, but in the distance, Eld’s band as they play Counting Crow’s Accidentally In Love can be heard.

“So, fifth grade, huh?” he mutters, still unable to believe all of it.

You turn to him, smiling. “Here’s a secret…” You lean closer to him so that your mouth is only an inch away from his ear, and his fingers tighten around your knee in anticipation. “I asked Hange to introduce you to me.”