Work Text:
Bound to You
There wasn’t much time left. In war, there was never enough time for love. Clarke made to get up from the bed, but Lexa’s hands stole around her waist and pulled her back down. She pressed a kiss between the blonde’s shoulders, whispering, “just a minute longer, hodnes.”
Clarke smiled at hearing Lexa’s endearing term. Yes, there was most certainly love here.
If love was weakness, Lexa would forever be weak for the woman in her arms. The air in the room was heavy. And not just because of the heat from all of the candles. It was heavy with the unspoken anxiety of leaving. The dread of leaving a newly spoken love.
Lexa ran her fingers up Clarke’s arm and sat up.
“I have something for you.”
Clarke sat up as well and faced Lexa. A slight look of surprise in her eyes wondering what Lexa could possibly have to give her after already surrendering her heart.
“You do?”
The older girl nodded and smiled brightly at Clarke.
“Wait here.”
Lexa got up to go to the room she had come out of when Clarke had walked in.
Knowing there wasn’t much time left, Clarke started to get dressed. She didn’t want to leave. She never wanted to leave Lexa. But no matter how she tried, there wasn’t one scenario that allowed her to stay in Polis and help her people at the same time. If she stayed….then there was no doubt her people would be wiped out. And she couldn’t let her people ruin what small chance they had at peace. And no matter how strong her love was for Lexa, she had to go to her people.
Lexa returned just as Clarke had finished dressing. She held a medium sized black velvet box in her hands. She handed it to Clarke and crawled back onto the bed moving to pull Clarke to sit with her back against her chest.
“This may be slightly overwhelming, but I had this made shortly after we first met.”
Clarke was most certainly at a loss for words and her heart beat achingly hard in her chest. She had know that Lexa had feeling for her long before her own came to fruition, but she hadn’t guessed it had been that soon. She turned to look at Lexa, her eyes shining bright with unspilled tears. Lexa smirked nervously at her.
“Open it. Please?”
Clarke nodded her head and gently opened the box. What she saw inside took her breath away. There had never been any sort of flashy jewelry on the Ark. Any materials they had were always recycled for materials and always used purposefully. Jewely was a frivolous luxury that no one could afford.
Inside was a double stranded black leather cord crimped together with shining silver strands equally spaced three or so inches apart. And at the end of the necklace hung a silver gear shaped pendant that held a light green faceted and polished stone. Clarke gently fingered the pendant and was simply in awe at how beautiful it was.
She turned fully this time to face Lexa bringing her lips to the other girls’ in a soft kiss.
“I can’t let you leave without something to take with you.” Lexa looked away not wanting Clarke to see the sadness creeping back into her eyes. Clarke’s hand reached out to cup Lexa’s cheek and she melted into the touch, bringing her hand up to keep it there.
“May I put it on for you?”
Clarke nodded her head and turned back around to let Lexa put the necklace on her. The pendant fell right in between her collarbone. She happened to glance back down at the box and noticed a two very shiny silver bands that had been hidden underneath a piece of the velvet cloth. Her brows furrowed and she wasn’t sure what the rings symbolized. She had heard stories of people of earth wearing rings on their hands when they were married to each other. Did Lexa want to marry her? Could a commander even get married. She had said that to be commander meant to be alone, but she had obviously not heeded that rule twice now. Who was to say she could rewrite that rule too? Jus drein jus daun had been changed, hadn’t it?
She felt Lexa pull away from her and saw that she was getting dressed as well.
“Lexa? What is this for?” She asked as she held up the rings for her to see.
“Clarke, I would never presume anything about your feelings for me. As I said I did have these made quite some time ago. I...thought perhaps when our people had reached a time of peace…”
Clarke walked over to the other side of the bed to look at Lexa.
“Are you? I mean..do you want to?” She couldn’t get the words out. Couldn’t believe that Lexa loved her this much.
Lexa took Clarke’s hands in hers and took a deep shaky breath.
“Yes. Clarke I...wish to be yours. Until one of us should leave this earth. I want to be bonded to you.”
The look of surprise on Clarke’s face was anything but reassuring to Lexa. Yes they had shared the act of love, but neither one of them had actually said the words. She knew there may never come a time when their people would be at peace. That they would never get that chance to be bonded. Lexa knew it was foolish of her to think so far ahead in time, but Clarke was someone she couldn’t bear to imagine not being by her side. In whatever way that would be.
She was taken aback slightly when she felt the blonde’s arms encircle her neck and pull her into a tight embrace.
“Yes.” She heard her whisper. Lexa let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“You are certain?”
Clarke looked up at Lexa and kissed her soundly on her full lips, pulling away slightly to rest her forehead on the brunette’s.
“Yes. On one condition. We have to do it now. I can’t take the chance…. I want to do it now before I leave.”
Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke again before she made ready to find one of her holy people to perform the bonding ritual. Lexa called out for her guards.
“Yes, Heda?’
“I need you to find Indra and Octavia. They must meet us at the sacred space. And send a messenger to alert the clans that the kill order is to be delayed until mid-day.”
“Sha, Heda.”
She turned to Clarke as the guards left and smiled. She grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. Clarke leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to Lexa’s lips. She felt the other girl smile into the kiss and let out a happy sigh.
They made their way to the bottom of the tower to meet with Indra and Octavia. Clarke was definitely nervous about the reactions from them. Octavia wasn’t exactly Lexa’s biggest fan and Indra had no love for Clarke, that was certain. But regardless, she loved Lexa. And they deserved to share that love with each other no matter how short a time they were gifted with.
The guards had been able to intercept Indra and Octavia before they had left Polis completely. They were waiting for them and neither one looked pleased.
Lexa made the first move to ease the tension that was simmering. She extended her arm to Indra in the familiar Grounder greeting.
“Commander, if I may? There is little time to waste if we are to keep our advantage over Skaikru.”
Lexa nodded her head.
“I know. But I need you here now. This won’t take long. I’ve already sent riders to delay the kill order until mid-day.”
“Heda! You are taking a risk that could cost our armies the element of surprise it desperately needs.”
“Shof op, Indra. We are wasting time arguing. Let’s go.”
Clarke felt Indra’s anger even though she refused to make eye contact with the blonde girl. Octavia remained quiet and still, but Clarke could sense her irritation at the situation. As they began walking to the Grounder’s sacred building, Octavia came beside Clarke and whispered
“I hope you know how foolish it is to be doing this now.” Clarke grabbed Octavia’s hand just like she had done to Clarke before she left.
“Octavia. I have to. Please I don’t expect you to understand. But if this were you and Lincoln? Please?” And unexpectedly she felt Octavia giver her hand a light squeeze. Not in reassurance, but in understanding. War is cruel and unforgiving, but the chance at love is not always given a second time. And life held no guarantees.
They entered the building and Clarke and Lexa stood in front of the holy woman who had been fully prepared for their coming. Octavia stood on Clarke’s right side and Indra to Lexa’s left.
“Please make your intentions known to one another and I will seal the bond before your witnesses.”
Lexa turned to Clarke and took her hands. Breathing deeply, she exhaled slowly and smiled at her love.
“Klark kom Skaikru, I bind my soul to yours today to be entwined for all eternity. I choose you as my mate, my partner, my love. I vow to protect you and to cherish you as long as my soul takes breath. Accept this ring as a sign of my devotion to you.”
Clarke didn’t think that there her heart could be more astounded at the depth of Lexa’s love for her. But hearing the emotion in Lexa’s voice and seeing the pure love adorned on her face simply took her breath away. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes. Knowing that even in this harsh world that someone could love her and love her so well was unbelievable. She gave her hand so that Lexa could place the ring on her finger. Before she pulled her hand away Lexa placed a chaste kiss upon the ring.
Clarke wiped at her eyes to brush the joyful tears away before she said her vow to Lexa.
“Leksa kom Trikru, my soul has chosen to be yours. To be bonded to you in all eternity. I choose you as my mate, my partner, my love. Everyday you will know that hodnes no laik kwelnes. Accept this ring as a sign of my devotion to you.” Clarke placed the ring on Lexa’s finger and placed a kiss on her finger just as she had done.
The holy woman then took a small dagger and asked for their hands. Indra stepped forward with what was a fresh strip of white cloth and handed it to the holy woman.
Taking Lexa’s right wrist and Clarke’s left, she ran the blade of the dagger quickly over each wrist and then placed them together so that they were touching and wrapped the white cloth to seal the blood bond.
“Leksa kom Trikru and Clarke kom Skaikru, you have made your life bond before myself and two witnesses. You have willingly professed your intention to join your souls for eternity. By the symbol of the tying of the white cloth to seal your blood bond and by the recitation of these words, I will pronounce you houmons for eternity. Please repeat after me.”
“In you, I have found what was missing. Bonded together now, we are complete.”
With tears slowly falling from their eyes, they each repeated the final phrase.
“As has always been our way, you must seal this bond with a kiss.”
The holy woman untied the white cloth. Lexa reached for Clarke placing her hands on Clarke’s cheeks. She slowly ran her thumb over Clarke’s bottom lip before gently placing her lips on her wife’s. Clarke opened her mouth slightly to deepen the kiss and Lexa slipped her tongue inside. She whimpered at the feel of Clarke’s tongue mingling with her own.
They grudgingly pulled apart at the sound of both Indra and Octavia loudly clearing their throats.
Lexa looked over to the holy woman and nodded. The holy woman then took her leave after briefly placing her palm on each woman’s head in a final personal blessing.
“Indra, Octavia. I thank you for what you have both done for Clarke and I. Would you give us both a moment before you must leave?”
“Sha, Heda.” Indra nodded and turned with Octavia falling in next to her.
When they were alone again, Lexa pulled Clarke in for a heated kiss. Her lips never wanting to be parted from Clarke’s. Clarke pulled away first, closing her eyes and resting her forehead on Lexa’s.
“Lexa. I don’t want to go.” She whispered. Lexa pulled her body flush with Clarke, her hands resting firmly on Clarke’s hips, her eyes shut tight. Her breathing was rapid and she had never felt her heart beat so fast, not even in battle. Her hand came up to pull Clarke’s head into her shoulder. She placed a kiss to the top of her head and held her love tightly, trying to convey how much she wanted her to stay. She swallowed the ache in her throat, her mouth dying to just to say the one word she knew with every part of her that she shouldn’t say. It was on the tip of her tongue.
Stay.
Stay with me.
Choose me.
“Em’s ok, hodnes. Osir laik bound nau. Your kru need yu.” She couldn’t say anymore than that. Her voice was breaking right along with her heart.
Clarke pulled back to look into Lexa’s bright green eyes. She just wanted to lose herself in them. She just wanted for once for her people to stop acting like entitled and ungrateful savages.
She nodded to Lexa in understanding. What more could be said? No matter where her heart was, her duty was with her people.
She grabbed Lexa’s hand, intertwining their fingers, she brought their joined hands to her lips and placed a kiss there.
“Walk us to the gates?”
Lexa took a deep breath and turned her lips up in a half smile and nodded.
They walked hand in hand toward a waiting Indra and Octavia, every step heavy with purpose.
Clarke was mounting one of her best horses when she abruptly pulled her back and kissed her deeply one last time. No matter how much she tried to push back the feeling of this being the last time she would feel Clarke’s soft lips on hers, it still felt so final. To feel Clarke’s slightly smaller frame mold into hers. She hoped they loved enough to last them until Clarke returned. She hoped that Clarke returned.
Clarke turned away and mounted the gray steed already laden with her few things and supplies she would need to make it back to Arkadia.
“Heda, osir need kom go nau.” Indra said softly. Her heart just a little bit softened at the love she saw between her commander and the sky girl.
“Sha, Indra. Klir gouthru nau.”
The three women gave their horses a small kick to get them moving.
“Go ona nau!” Shouted Octavia as her and Indra pulled ahead of Clarke.
Clarke turned her head one final time to look at Lexa.
“Leksa! Ai hod yu in!” She shouted.
“Ai hod yu in sentaim, Klark kom skaikru.”
Clarke turned back to the reins and led her horse in line with Indra and Octavia.
Her heart no lighter with leaving Lexa behind, but the hope of her return deep seated in her soul.
Trigedasleng Translations:
Hodnes-love
Sha-yes
Shof op-shut up
Hodnes no laik kwelnes-love is not weakness
Em’s ok-It’s ok
Osir laik bound nau-we are bound now
Osir need kom go nau-we need to go now
Klir gouthru nau-safe passage now
Go ona nau-go on now
Ai hod yu in- I love you
Sentaim-too