Archive of Our Own

Sungjin's fingers traced over the curves of Wonpil's face as the younger breathed softly. His eyelids were closed in upside-down smiles, his soft skin had a thin layer of moisturizer that gleamed in the soft moonlight, and small locks of hair cradled his forehead.

Sungjin gently pushed a few small strands off his forehead before leaning in to press a kiss against the area.

He pulled back, his dark eyes scanning Wonpil to make sure he was still asleep. His fiancée didn't so much as twitch as his steady breaths tickled the little skin peeking out from Sungjin's pajama shirt.

They were wearing matching blue and white striped pajamas with an embroidered heart on the chest pocket.

It had been Wonpil's first decree a month ago when they got engaged. Wonpil—expectedly—was a feign of couple clothes, and he knew they couldn't do the usual matching outfits non-celebrity couples do, so he ordered them matching pajamas after they had successfully had their first kiss.

He even paid for expedited shipping, and the second night that they slept in the same bed, Sungjin found himself in those very pajamas. Of course, they had more now, but these were the first.

Sungjin didn't care much for them, but it made Wonpil happy. Plus, he had grown fond of them. The other week, they had done a shoot where they wore pajamas, and he had a double-take when he saw Wonpil in a pastel yellow two-piece instead of the minty green Sungjin was in. He had almost blurted out to Wonpil that he would change out of reflex, but then one of the assistants came and told them it was time for them to start.

It was weird how much had changed over the course of a month.

A month ago, he didn't give Wonpil a goodnight kiss, he didn't hug Wonpil's waist, burying his nose in Wonpil's neck when he was tired, and he didn't intertwine his fingers with Wonpil's as they walked, gently swaying them as he pointed out something he knew Wonpil would enjoy seeing.

It was a bit to get used to, but he liked it. Wonpil sent pleasant feelings rippling in his veins, and his laughter, oh his laughter, was like liquid honey sweetening his life.

Sungjin caressed Wonpil's cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheek, watching his skin bounce back up.

Sungjin knew this was what he wanted to see every day for the rest of his life. But lately, he was doubting if he deserved to be by Wonpil's side.

Wonpil shifted slightly, taking in a sharp breath, his nose twitching, and Sungjin leaned closer, wrapping his arms around Wonpil. The sleeping man made a little sound, wrapping his arms around Sungjin, and snuggled closer with his steady breathing resuming.

Sungjin glanced down at his fiancée, ensuring he was still sleeping, before sighing softly. He rested his chin on the top of his hair and stared at the dark shadows on the wall.

He didn't feel sexual attraction, point blank period. He could look at someone and determine how conventionally attractive they were, but it was no different than going on a walk and passing by flowers. Looking at naked bodies was no different than seeing a diagram of it in a textbook. Things were different when he was in a relationship; he and Wonpil hadn't taken that step yet, but from previous relationships, well, he just did his best from what he'd read up on online.

The warmth and closeness made his body buzz, but that was about it. There was nothing interesting about breasts bouncing or cocks dripping with pre-cum.

Whatever, he knew how to perform, it was nice hearing the other enjoy themselves, and they got to cuddle afterward, so he didn't dislike it per se. But if given the option between having sex or eating garlic bread, well, garlic bread would win ten times out of ten.

He was kind of nervous about breaching that with Wonpil, but that didn't hold a candle to the anxiety that plagued him currently.

He didn't know how to love someone in a romantic way.

There wasn't exactly a guide he could check out of the library—no, really, he checked—and everyone just instinctively knew how to. His first girlfriend was in middle school, and he hadn't liked her like that.

All of his friends were starting to get into relationships, talking about crushes, and Sungjin felt a bit out of the loop. To fit in, he picked out a girl he knew he had some common interests with, and she had a cute face. He knew the end goal was to ask her out, so he did just that, unsure as to why his friends were doing everything but asking out their crushes.

Admittedly, he had been nervous asking her, but he'd have been just as nervous asking if he could be her partner in a class project. She said yes, and Sungjin mentally checked off that box. It was a short relationship, a month maybe, and in it, he just copied what he saw other couples doing. Kissing was meh, and making out was especially confusing as he didn't understand what he was doing wrong, but it felt gross when everyone else raved about it.

He'd broken up with her when she suddenly started talking about how they would grow up, get married, and have a kid after they graduated, and he'd broken out in a cold sweat.

He didn't want to spend the rest of his life with her; he knew that much.

It took a few more failed relationships and mental check marks before he heard the term 'aroace.' It had been at some party, and he had been pouring himself some water when he overheard a guy say he broke up with a girl because she was aroace and three months into their relationship she wouldn't let him fuck her.

Sungjin didn't know what it was, so he looked it up to see what the guy had been talking about, and he didn't expect to see that it was a sexuality or that it resonated with what he'd been feeling.

He'd been able to quickly identify he was asexual, but the romantic spectrum was a bit trickier to navigate. He wasn't repulsed by it, and there were some nice parts in dating he enjoyed, and he guessed he wanted to marry someone eventually, but he couldn't get his heart to stir.

He wasn't apothiromantic since he was pretty sure he'd felt romantic attraction before, albeit weakly, but then again, maybe he thought he did because he was actually cupioromantic? The aromantic label didn't quite fit, perhaps aroflux because he would typically wake up with a pounding heart and feeling of dread the morning after he started dating someone, and it would flip until he broke up with that person. Demiromantic kind of fit, since his later exes were friends before they dated, but still, sometimes it didn't quite resonate.

After many headaches and way too many identity crises, he settled on using aroace as a blanket term since he couldn't deal with it anymore. When he came out to Wonpil, he had gone with demi-aromantic because, well, they were friends long before Sungjin fell for him.

He tried dating a bit, but telling others he was aroace was a whole battle he didn't even know existed. The more negative ones told him that they could change him, that he was lying, and someone even told him it was all in his head, and he just needed therapy.

The few relationships he held all ended because they claimed he clearly didn't love them. He was confused because he did everything he thought love looked like, but it wasn't enough. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong.

He solemnly told himself that he should stop looking for relationships because he wasn't built for them, and that was how he spent several years.

Then, one day at work, Wonpil leaned back in his work chair, wearing a shirt Sungjin had seen him wear a thousand times before, stretching as normally, his natural, unstyled hair looking just the same as always, and Sungjin felt his heart quicken.

They'd been friends for more than a decade, but maybe it was the way Wonpil's eyes glowed in the sun as he noticed his gaze, and he gave him his signature sweet smile that Sungjin's heart malfunctioned.

It sped up, coursing fuzzy warmth through him while his brain shut down, and suddenly he couldn't remember how he usually acted around Wonpil.

Things happened, he went insane, and his search history was full of aromantic confusion and panic before he thought back to his first relationship, and the thought of spending the rest of his life with Wonpil made him want nothing more in the whole wide universe.

So here he was.

Sungjin rubbed Wonpil's back, a lump stirring in his throat.

He didn't think he was loving Wonpil right. Nothing much had changed in their relationship aside from a few more intimate touches, and he was getting nervous. Wonpil was going to sit him down any day now and tell him the same as the others.

That he wasn't capable of loving him right, and he didn't want to marry him.

Sungjin squeezed his eyes shut, his heart pounding as he tried to get some shut-eye. He needed to figure things out quickly because he couldn't lose Wonpil.

Sungjin stared up at the dimly lit ceiling, his chest heavy with Wonpil and worry. The former let out a little huff as he slept, his warm body pressed against Sungjin. He'd only managed to sleep a little, but it hadn't exactly been pleasant.

His nice dream of what happened the night he proposed had turned into a nightmare where, instead of accepting him, Wonpil had turned away in disgust when he learned of his sexuality and made fun of Sungjin in front of the others, who joined in. His ears still rang with their chanting of how he could never love Wonpil the way that he deserved.

Relief had flooded his veins when he jolted awake and found Wonpil still tucked against him, snoring softly as the sun started to peek its head out. Still, the worry plagued him as he wondered if the dream was right. How could he love Wonpil if he didn’t know the first thing about loving someone?

He knew that he wasn’t going to get anywhere positive at his current mental state, so he decided to be productive. Sungjin moved slowly and carefully, nudging Wonpil’s head and arms off of him and substituting himself with his pillow, which Wonpil smushed his cheek against and clung to like a boa constrictor.

Sungjin smiled to himself at how Wonpil couldn’t help but be cute when unconscious as well. 

After freshening himself up, Sungjin made his way to the kitchen, hoping that making breakfast would help distract his concerned thoughts. He checked the fridge and spotted a leftover pack of meat.

The last time they went grocery shopping, Sungjin had noticed Wonpil lingering in the beef aisle with his fingers near his lip, so he'd gone a bit overboard and bought a lot to grill. Wonpil had been so happy and surprised that Sungjin couldn't help but kiss his cheek, promising to make it that very night (which he did. Wonpil loved it. It made Sungjin smile seeing the cute man stuff himself.)

He hummed to himself as he took it out with radishes and green onions, deciding to make a stew to warm Wonpil up since it was a bit chilly. He quickly washed some rice before popping it into the rice cooker, before he focused on cooking.

As he peeled the radishes, Sungjin wondered what he could do to show that he was the one for Wonpil. The members were as surprised as they imagined, and there was a slew of questions before they congratulated them for the nth time. Sungjin had decided to postpone telling the company because even straight couples who had been dating for years faced hundreds of hoops, so there would be even more obstacles for them. He didn't want to announce their engagement, and the next week, have Wonpil realize he wasn't able to love him, and call off the engagement.

His brows furrowed as he chopped the radish and sliced the meat into cubes.

How was he supposed to prove that he was utterly in love with Wonpil?

Sungjin huffed, cooking the meat and then pouring in everything for the stew to come to a boil. He paced around, deciding to try and busy his thoughts with chopping up a little fruit salad for Wonpil. He knew how much Wonpil enjoyed munching on fruits before breakfast, usually finding the younger man sitting on the couch with a bowl of fruits and watching whatever was playing at the moment. 

Toothpicks. 

He should add toothpicks because Wonpil didn’t like the sticky feeling the fruits left on his fingers. Sungjin also made a mental note to buy some cute reusable food picks since he was sure Wonpil would start off the day a little happier if he got a cute little bunny pick in his fruits.

Once he was done with the fruits, Sungjin focused on the stew once more. That only took a few minutes, and as Sungjin waited for the stew to cook, his worries came back.

What if Wonpil woke up and took back his acceptance? What if he wasn’t thinking clearly when he accepted, and a month later, he'd finally realized everything he would have to deal with? After all, that night…

Sungjin blushed as he thought about how he hadn’t been able to stop kissing Wonpil.

His fingers brushed against his lips as he leaned against the counter. His heart twitched in his chest, and Sungjin wondered how people could live like that. He was sure that his heart was going to jump out of his chest that night when Wonpil snuggled into his side. Sungjin had squeezed his eyes shut and tried to make his thumping heart slow to avoid Wonpil hearing it.

He had thought that was something people exaggerated, as the most that had happened to him was a slight quickening in his veins, nothing compared to the thrashing in his chest that night. He'd seriously considered rushing to the ER because of the heart palpitations.

Sungjin ruffled his hair to try and stop thinking about it.

He had to focus on the main point! How was he going to show Wonpil he loved him?

“Mm, good morning,” Wonpil mumbled, shuffling into the kitchen, his hair sticking out in all different directions.

He looked ridiculously handsome.

“Good morning, breakfast is almost done. Why don't you eat these fruits while it finishes?”

Sungjin scooped up the bowl and held it out to Wonpil. He watched as a dazed smile formed on his fiancée's face.

“Oh! It looks tasty!”

Wonpil looked up at Sungjin, and Sungjin felt his heart tremble at the grin he received from him. 

“You can go sit on the couch, I'll call you over when the table is set.”

Wonpil pouted, and that was not good for Sungjin’s heart.

“Can't you sit with me for a bit?”

Sungjin was sitting next to Wonpil a few seconds later as they watched a random show.

Wonpil hummed, swaying as he happily ate one of the fruit pieces. Sungjin smiled as he watched Wonpil's eyes curl in delight.

"Here," Wonpil said, holding out a piece for him to eat.

Sungjin leaned forward and ate the fruit, nodding in approval as the sweetness rolled down his tongue.

"It's good."

Wonpil giggled and ate another piece.

They sat like that for a little longer, Wonpil feeding him some every so often, before Sungjin kissed his cheek and left to check the food.

He pulled out two bowls, scooping the soup into the first bowl. He made sure to get equal parts meat and radish into it because Wonpil liked eating both in one scoop, sometimes alternating with eating one and one. He set the bowls on the table before grabbing some smaller bowls and getting some of the freshly cooked rice.

Then he rummaged through the sides they had in the fridge and plated them, placing the ones Wonpil liked closer to where he would sit.

Once the table was set, Sungjin called over Wonpil, and his fiancée beamed when he saw their breakfast.

"Wah! Hyung, you're amazing!" He gasped as he quickly hugged him and pecked his lips before eagerly sitting down.

Sungjin blushed as the heat from the kiss lingered on his lips.

"It was nothing," Sungjin murmured as he sat down across from Wonpil.

He picked up his spoon and watched Wonpil eagerly eat some of the soup. His face lit up as his eyes glimmered.

"Hyung! This is amazing!"

Sungjin smiled and looked down at his food. "Is that so? Eat up. There's plenty for seconds."

Wonpil nodded, and Sungjin felt warm even before he started eating.

Sungjin knew it wasn't healthy to keep his turmoil bottled up, so after breakfast, Sungjin gave Wonpil a goodbye kiss before heading off to meet up with Younghyun at Dowoon's place.

The drive was fairly silent. Wonpil probably would've put on a chill playlist, but Sungjin just let whatever he was last listening to play. He had already started driving before his Bluetooth connected, and jazz didn't quite resonate with him at the moment, so he lowered the volume.

He couldn't stop thinking about Wonpil.

What was he supposed to do? What was loving someone like?

Dowoon greeted him with a relaxed hello, opening the door for him.

"Is Kangbra here—"

"Dowoon-ah! Where's your soy sauce?!"

Dowoon sighed and headed down the hall, Sungjin following the younger man with amusement. He found his other bandmate in the kitchen, the sushi takeout sitting on the counter.

Sungjin arched an eyebrow, but didn't comment on it. He wasn't a stranger to brunch sushi.

"So what did you want to talk about, hyung?" Dowoon asked, taking the soy sauce out from a drawer.

Sungjin's hands suddenly grew clammy as he leaned against the counter. "Uh, I was hoping to talk about my relationship with Wonpil."

The other two shared a glance that made Sungjin's stomach twist.

Oh god.

What if they were able to see it?

Was he really that bad of a partner?

What made him think he could love Wonpil right if he'd failed so many times before?

"What's up?" Younghyun asked as he dipped a piece of sushi into the sauce.

Sungjin bit his cheek, averting eye contact as he stared at his hands.

Wonpil had a cute habit of caressing his hand, running his thumb over his palm, following the lines, and brushing over his calluses. Then he would either lean down or bring Sungjin's hand to his mouth, and he would press little kisses on each worn part of his hand.

It made Sungjin feel like melted jello.

His thumb rubbed against the lines of his pal, easing his nerves slightly.

"I don't, uh, I don't know how to love someone, and I'm worried I'm not giving Wonpil what he deserves. I mean, he deserves the world and more, and I just, I'm worried I'm not doing enough."

The silence that followed echoed in his ears, worsening the tight feeling in his stomach. He dug his thumb against one of his calluses.

Suddenly, Dowoon's deep, throaty laugh rattled off the walls, and Sungjin's brows furrowed.

He looked up in time to see Younghyun bump his shoulder into Dowoon's. The younger man protested before the disapproving look in Younghyun's eyes made his own widen.

Dowoon's jaw dropped as he looked at Sungjin. "Wait, hyung, you're serious?"

Sungjin's brows only furrowed deeper. "Yes?"

"Don't mind him," Younghyun said, swatting Dowoon's arm. The younger man whined dramatically and pouted slightly. "Hyung, you don't have anything to worry about, trust me."

Sungjin frowned. "I saw you and Dowoon share a look when I mentioned that I wanted to talk about Wonpil."

Dowoon rubbed his arm. "It wasn't like that." He picked up a piece of sushi and tilted his head to point at Younghyun. "We just thought you were going to reveal that you and hyung had secretly dated before getting engaged."

Sungjin chuckled awkwardly. "No, it's like we told you, I asked him to marry me out of the blue. We've officially been together one month as of today. Why would we lie about that?"

"Just, well, you two are…" Dowoon trailed off, and Sungjin could practically see the gears turning in his head.

Younghyun looked up from his food and squinted at him slightly. "Wait. Hold on. You mean that today is your one-month anniversary?"

"Yeah." Sungjin's eyes widened slightly. Wonpil, being the sweetheart he is, remembered anniversaries and loved celebrating them. Every year since they met at the audition, Sungjin has gotten a small present from Wonpil. At first, he would panic and invite Wonpil to eat, but he'd learned to get something for the younger man by the time they debuted in the same group. "I have to go!"

Without waiting to hear from the other two, Sungjin booked it. His heart pounded. How could he be so stupid!?

Oh, he was the absolute worst. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten.

This is what his exes meant, he thought as he rushed to the nearest supermarket. He probably did one of the worst parking jobs in his entire driving career, but he was in the lines, so he didn't care. He hurriedly pulled out his phone, desperately trying to think of something to do, when he suddenly recalled how Wonpil had shown him a post about an aquarium nearby. It was over a month ago, and at the time, he'd been so transfixed by the way the lights reflected in the chocolate hue of his irises that he couldn't quite recall the name. How could he not remember such an important detail!?

He frantically scrolled through a list that appeared when he looked it up, multitasking as he headed to the candy section and got shark gummies, he spotted a box of Swedish fish and put it into his cart as well.

There!

His knees nearly gave out in relief when he spotted the aquarium Wonpil had been talking about. He recognized the otter in the sign. He quickly pulled himself to the side, making sure his cart didn't block the other shoppers as his trembling fingers navigated through the site.

He was pretty sure he forgot to breathe because as soon as he confirmed the two ticket purchase, he suddenly got lightheaded and he had to lean against the cart for support as the adrenaline worked its way out of his system.

He licked his lips. Well, he had that sorted out; now he had to finish the rest.

He picked out two blue sodas, two boxes of shark and whale crackers, shrimp chips, and he found himself a shark Lego set. He grabbed a cute basket—he made sure all the treats fit—before he headed to the checkout.

He glanced at the time, and his stomach eased when he saw it was barely twelve.

The thought that Wonpil was sitting around moping in his pajamas struck him as he was checking out, so Sungjin sent Wonpil a text that he would be home soon.

The next stop was a specific flower shop just a few minutes from there. He smiled when he parked and spotted the familiar elderly woman who had a fish-shaped bread stand near the store.

He could salvage his mistake.

He carefully selected a bouquet he knew Wonpil would like—what kind of fiancé would he be if he didn't know what kind of flowers Wonpil liked after more than a decade of knowing him?

With the bouquet acquired, he got two pastries from the nice woman and headed home. His stomach was in knots the entire drive back. He should've brought Wonpil breakfast in bed. He never should've left to meet with the others. He should have remembered!

Sungjin gulped when he finally arrived home, carefully arranging the basket with all the treats he bought, settling the fresh sweets in the front. His hands trembled as he carried the basket and flowers to their place.

He didn't know what he would do if he saw Wonpil with tears in his eyes from his blatant neglect.

His throat felt tight, and his heart hammered in his chest when he reached their place, unlocking the door and quietly stepping in. He slipped his shoes off and followed the sound of the TV.

He didn't recognize the sound of the show, but it didn't sound sad, so he had hope that Wonpil wasn't heartbroken.

When he entered the room, he found Wonpil lazily lying on the couch, his hand up his pajama shirt as he yawned and scratched his tummy.

Adorable.

How had he managed to get him to say yes?

If he didn't marry him, then what was the point of feeling romantic attraction?

Sungjin snapped out of his thoughts, his cheeks going back to their usual state, and he dimly realized he'd been smiling.

He cleared his throat softly before shyly extending the offerings to the radiant beauty.

"Surprise, Wonpil-ah."

Wonpil turned around, and his mesmerizing eyes twinkled as he shot up. "Hyung!"

Sungjin internally winced. He'd definitely hurt Wonpil.

Wonpil scrambled off the couch, and his wide eyes flickered between the gifts before he looked at Sungjin, and oh, his eyes were glassy, and Sungjin was the worst—

His thoughts derailed as Wonpil cupped his cheeks and kissed him repeatedly. If it weren't for the basket and flowers, Sungjin would've wrapped his arms around Wonpil, pulling him close so that their hearts could meld together to beat at the same pace.

He didn't understand what was happening, just that when Wonpil pulled back, Sungjin wanted so desperately to chase his lips and keep kissing him.

"I can't believe you got me all of this!" Wonpil clasped his hands, swooning.

Sungjin had to blink a few times before his frazzled brain could work again.

"I, um, I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Sungjin said. "I completely forgot about our anniversary. I promise to make it up to you next weekend, but this is the best I could do on short notice," Sungjin said. He gently placed the gifts into Wonpil's arms. His heart felt heavy as he caressed Wonpil's face, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. "I got us tickets to the aquarium with the otter exhibit you were checking out last month." He kissed his forehead before pulling back again. "Again, I'm so sorry."

Wonpil tilted his head as he looked at him. His eyes gazed at the flowers for a long moment before he looked at all the treats.

"You mean you did this all in an hour?"

"No, I went to talk to Kangbra and Dowoonie for a bit, so drive time and everything considered, it was maybe half an hour?" Sungjin mused.

Wonpil's eyes widened again, and Sungjin internally screamed at himself because what in the otherworldly realm possessed him to say such a thing!? Now Wonpil thought he couldn't even spend a full hour thinking of him!

"Are you a time-wizard?" Wonpil whispered.

Sungjin blinked before awkwardly chuckling. "What?"

"Don't worry, hyung. I'm cool," Wonpil said, leaning forward with a charming grin. "I can keep your secret." He giggled before taking a deep inhale of the flowers and humming in delight. "Mm, well, I have to get dressed for our date now. I won't take long, promise!"

Wonpil giggled as he ran off, and Sungjin leaned against the couch for support.

What just happened?

He tried to make sense of things, but his sweetheart was ever the quick one. He came back out dressed in a cute outfit, clutching the bag with the sweet bread and a box of crackers.

"I can't wait! Oh, I want to see the otters so badly," he cooed.

Sungjin smiled, relieved that Wonpil had liked the last-minute gift. He also spotted the bouquet half-hazardously in a vase on a table and made a mental note to properly trim the stems when they got back.

He stepped closer to Wonpil, spotting the tag of his shirt sticking out like a tongue. He fondly shook his head before tucking the small fabric into the shirt, his fingers taking a detour to fiddle with the hair at the base of Wonpil's neck.

"We shouldn't keep the otters waiting, then." He gently took the box of crackers from his fiancée's hand, replacing it with his own hand as he led Wonpil out.

Wonpil excitedly rambled on about the aquarium, and Sungjin wondered what he'd done to be by such a wonderful human being's side.

"And then we can take pictures under the arch. I hope I get a stingray in the picture!" Wonpil gleefully said, holding out a fish bread for Sungjin.

He took a bite of the pastry, the sugary taste smearing over his tongue, but no competition to the sweetness beaming from Wonpil's smile.

"It's good," Sungjin complimented.

He licked his lips, he knew Wonpil loved the fish bread from that particular stand. If he had to, he would've driven another town over just to get it.

As expected, Wonpil played the best songs for the drive, and the kind man also fed Sungjin as he drove.

Before long, they arrived at the aquarium, and Sungjin could practically taste Wonpil's excitement on his tongue as they walked towards the entrance. He spotted a biker heading in their direction, so he gently placed a hand on the small of Wonpil's back, guiding him to stand on his other side, further from the edge of the sidewalk.

"Hyung?"

"Yeah?" Sungjin glanced at his fiancée and spotted a stray eyelash on his cheek not covered by his mask. He gently brushed it off before giving Wonpil a thousand percent of his attention.

"Can we hold hands?"

The rational, seasoned leader in him told him that it was a bad idea. Their hats and masks did little to hide their identities. However, the other part of him had him intertwining their fingers, his heart fluttering as Wonpil's eyes curled up in the way Sungjin had seen a million times over, and he knew he was smiling.

Sungjin followed Wonpil's energetic lead, and as much as he wanted to enjoy the moment fully, the same gnawing anxiety nestled in the back of his neck.

He wasn't doing enough.

Now that he thought about it, Younghyun said he didn't have anything to worry about, but he didn't know his track record.

He adjusted his hat as he watched a shark pass them.

He needed to look at other couples and see what he was missing.

He internally nodded, the mission becoming his second priority. His first was—

"Wah! Hyung! Look!" Wonpil eagerly looked at him as he pointed at a stingray gliding past.

Sungjin chuckled as he pulled out his phone. "Do you want a picture, sweetheart?"

"Yes!"

Sungjin's heart swelled as he let go of his hand, taking a few steps back as Wonpil got into a position that made it look like he was holding up the gigantic aquatic creature.

Pulchritudinous.

Sungjin was absolutely lost. He placed their dinner on the coffee table before sitting down on the ground next to his fiancée. Wonpil hugged the beluga whale plushie Sungjin had bought him at the aquarium, his eyes twinkling as Ponyo started playing on their TV.

Given how excited Wonpil had been to see the otters and stingrays, Sungjin expected him to get a plushie of one of them. He did grab an otter plushie, but as they were heading towards another section of the store, Wonpil practically levitated to a small section with beluga whale plushies. He'd never seen Wonpil move so quickly, switching out the two.

Sungjin had asked him why he wanted the beluga whale, and all Wonpil did was hug it close and say it was cute.

To be fair, he bought a shirt with a stingray design and pajamas with little otters on them, but he also got a beluga whale phone charm.

His fiancée was so unpredictable sometimes.

Still, Sungjin had gleaned absolutely nothing about other couples the entire time they were there.

He was mostly preoccupied with seeing how cute Wonpil was, but when he remembered, he would look at other couples to see what their secret to love was.

He took a big bite of his noodles, the heat singing his taste buds pleasantly.

Before he could think any more, he noticed Wonpil picking at his food, and his brows furrowed.

He quickly grabbed some more noodles, blowing on them before offering them to him.

"Do you not like your food? Here, try some of mine and we'll switch."

"Hm?" Wonpil perked up slightly, a soft blush coating his cheeks. "It's not that, hyung. I was just thinking of something."

Sungjin's heart hammered slightly.

This was it.

He couldn't love Wonpil properly.

Oh god.

Wonpil's eyes lit up suddenly. "Sesame!"

"Huh?"

Wonpil didn't elaborate as he quickly got up, placing his plushie onto the couch before darting off. Sungjin was left awkwardly holding the cooled noodles before Wonpil returned with their little bottle of sesame seeds.

"I knew something felt off. It's missing sesame," Wonpil said, settling back down next to him and garnishing his dinner.

"Do you still want to taste either way?" Sungjin asked, redipping the noodles in the broth.

"Sure."

Sungjin blew on the noodles again before feeding them to Wonpil. He dabbed the dot of broth that got on his chin with a napkin before tilting his head.

"Good?"

"It's yummy!" Wonpil grinned and quickly scooped some of his food for Sungjin. He didn't wait for an answer, simply feeding him, and Sungjin felt like a king.

"It's good." Sungjin licked his lips before patting Wonpil's head. "Eat up, okay?"

Wonpil nodded, and they ate in peaceful silence as they watched the movie.

Sungjin wasn't aware of it, but Wonpil had some sort of invisible control over him. One moment, he'd be up in his head, wondering what he could do to show Wonpil he would fight wars for him, and the next, he found himself lying on the couch, his arms wrapped around the younger man, rubbing his back as they watched the movie together.

He made him forget about everything bothering him, and it was like he was sucking the bad feelings straight from his nerves.

Sungjin sighed, his fingertips trailing over Wonpil's spine. So bumpy.

After stressing for much of the day, Sungjin decided that it was time that he asked Wonpil how he could be a better lover.

"Wonpil-ah?"

"Hm?" Wonpil stirred on his chest, adjusting himself so his chin pressed against his chest and his doe eyes looked like glistening tapioca pearls.

Sungjin had to mentally remind himself to breathe and restrain himself from smothering Wonpil in kisses.

Still, his disobedient fingers ran through Wonpil's hair.

"I know I haven't been the best lover, you know I'm still learning about this whole romantic love thing, but I was wondering what I could do better?" Sungjin gulped slightly. "I, um, I've been told several times that I can't love, so…"

Wonpil sat up, his palm pressing against Sungjin's chest as he hovered over him. The blanket—Sungjin wondered when they got under a blanket—fell off his shoulders, and Sungjin's hands found themselves on Wonpil's hips, steadying him lest he topple back.

"Hyung," Wonpil tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. His features creased delicately as he fondly smiled at him. "You're beyond perfect. I don't know what you mean, you've showered me with more love than I ever could've imagined." Wonpil giggled, the ambrosia sound ricketing in Sungjin's veins. Wonpil cupped his cheeks, leaning down and kissing him before pulling back. "I don't know what others told you, but," Wonpil brushed his thumbs over his cheeks as Sungjin held his breath, "I love you."

Sungjin's cheeks grew hot, his heart hammering with such ferocity it would've made Dowoon hurt his wrists if he tried to match the pace.

"I love you too," Sungjin whispered.

He couldn't quite explain it, but he swore he saw Wonpil's love surge. It was like all his hairs suddenly went on edge, his lungs expanding with a whirlwind of air, and the very air around him glowed.

Their lips met in a sweet embrace, savoring every beacon of warmth they had to offer until Sungjin became lightheaded, and then they pulled away, their foreheads pressed together as their soft breaths mingled.

"Are you sure?" Sungjin murmured. "I don't feel like I've done anything different other than add more physical contact with you."

Wonpil's hands caressed his flushed cheeks. "Love isn't something you can force; it just happens. You may not realize it, but I do. I see it in the way you give me the whole slice of bread while you take the nub. I see it in the way you take care of me without blinking an eye, like it's second nature to you. I see it in the way you look at me like I'm a god, I swear I can see your pupils dilate even though I know I can't actually do that." Wonpil laughed, rubbing their noses together. He pulled back slightly, the gorgeous red on his cheeks making Sungjin even more flustered. "I didn't even remember I wanted to go to that aquarium. Honestly, hyung, I was more than content with the breakfast you made for me today. I wouldn't have been mad if that was the only thing I got today, because I know you made it with love."

"I just, you deserve the world and so much more," Sungjin breathed out. "I want to give you everything. You're my world."

"Oh, Sungjin," Wonpil cooed. "You're absolutely perfect. There's no one else I would rather marry."

Sungjin couldn't help the goofy smile that etched itself on his lips before he cupped Wonpil's face and kissed him.