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The dim lights shown in desperation. It flickered like a man begging to live, but to no avail.
You were chained to the bed by your left ankle just long enough to scour the room, and there were shelves of books ranging from classics to more modern pieces aligning the walls. You had access to your wardrobe from your previous life without Illumi, but of course, he only kept the ones he liked. He added more of his own flair too; you had seemed to own plethora of gaudy dresses that you know you didn't have before.
You thought of your life prior to Illumi, and remembered your parents who might've been mourning you. You thought of your friends, and the calmness and calamity of your youth that you can not go back to.
The door had opened, and the lights flickered.
Illumi walked and sat himself down at the edge of your shared bed. He wrapped his arm around your waist, but in an unnatural manner, like he had been reading up on how to romance and is putting his knowledge to the test. Not that anything about Illumi felt natural.
"How was your day?" He spoke as his face leaned into yours. You had reeled back, but his arm pulled you back in to his awkward, forced embrace.
Monotonous, you wanted to say, but you instead replied with,
"Good. I read another book of yours...it was interesting."
"Oh really? What was it about," he stated while forcing an even closer proximity between you two. His head drove into your nape and rested itself in that position while his grip got tighter.
"I don't remember."
That was a lie. It was a book about woman who falls in love with her kidnapper after he "saves" her from the troubles of her life. You had thought mentioning such a topic felt too surreal given your position, and you were half sure it was put on the shelf to indoctrinate you. Illumi's eyes trailed to the book open on the bed.
"Ah, that one. I had chosen it because I heard it was popular amongst women in your age group. I'm glad you enjoyed it."
You had not said if you enjoyed the book or not. For all he knew you could've thought it to be trash never worth publishing.
His eyes-those fucking eyes- bore into your bones and weaved it's way amongst your nervous system. It was uncanny, and unnerving. Still, he continued to stare, like he wasn't aware of the disdain present on your face. If he was, then he clearly prioritized his desires over your necessity for space.
Soon enough he had shifted your body so that your hips were in his lap and your legs dangled off the bed. His hands trailed up and down the length of your arms and settled on your hands while his nose was now in your collarbone. The lights had flickered yet again.
"I should get a butler to fix that shouldn't I, Y/N?"
"Yeah, probably."
You couldn't care less about the god damn lights all you could feel was Illumi all over you. The urge to rip the skin from your body was apparent and prodding at the back of your mind. You were accustomed to this feeling of despair for a while now. Yet, when the feeling overcame you it was still as sickening as before.
The worst part about this prediciment was that he loves you, and you know he does in his sick twisted way. You find yourself missing him when he's gone, and longing for him ever so slightly. Though, it is not love, but instead codependence. With no other human contact other than Illumi, you are desperate for company.
You wondered if you are becoming like the girl in the book who falls in love with her kidnapper, and in your head your scowled.
He kissed you, but in a statue-like manner, and grinned.
"You are mine."
I have no other choice, you think to yourself, but kept quiet and opted for the safest route.
The lights flickered again.