Work Text:
The office is spacious, with a couch and two comfortable armchairs, a small table, bookshelves and a few pieces of contemporary art, a small incense burner bathing the room in a soothing scent, the curtains diffusing the sunlight and creating a relaxing atmosphere.
The therapist, a middle-aged human with greying, slightly untamed hair and glasses, looks at his schedule, Lord and Lady Ancunín, he hums it seams he was starting to become popular with the elite of Baldurs Gate, there were more and more requests for counselling, it was mostly the ladies who requested a session, their spouses complied to avoid further tension.
The muffled voices from the seating area are a little less relaxing.
"I can't believe we're sitting here, pet, like there's something wrong with us!"
"Well, maybe there is, otherwise why did you agree to come here, love?"
"There is nothing wrong with us little love, I only agreed to come because you wanted me to."
The voices fell silent as the doors to the office opened.
A lord and his lady walked in, both of almost otherworldly beauty, the lord a high elf, his fair skin and silver hair shining almost radiantly, next to him his lady, a drow, her skin dark grey, her white hair intricately draped, both looking together like elegant chess pieces of polished stone, were it not for their intense crimson eyes, both overdressed for the occasion, fine clothing with intricate embroidery on the lord's frock coat and the lady's dress, both matching, signalling a perfect union to the outside world. But in this setting it is almost ludicrous.
The therapist greets her and leads her to the couch, both of them moving with a grace that surpasses the usual movements of the elven subraces, for a moment there was only the ticking of the clock and the rustling of her dress as she sat down, her lord sitting down next to her almost immediately, resting his hand on the small of her back, the therapist noticed.
The therapist begins with a gentle opening, "Hello, thank you both for coming today. I'm Dr Tomasin and I'll be leading our session. I hope it will be comfortable for everyone if we can dispense with official titles and the courtly manners that go with them. He continues, "So how may I address you both?"
The lord scoffs and immediately places a hand on his lap, squeezing it lightly.
"Astarion," the Lord says, his tome almost daring not to overdo the generosity of withholding titles.
"Irrae," her name fell from her lips like a dance.
The therapist smiled, "What brings you both here today?"
He can't help but notice that Astarion has nervously snatched a pen from the playing table, fidgeting with it, tapping and turning it. He notices a hint of defensiveness in his demeanour and body language as Irrae clears her throat.
"I would like to discuss the cats and their arrangements in our home."
Astarion has frozen for a second.
Dr Tomasin makes a note, "What would those arrangements be?"
"They are everywhere, my maid has an increasingly difficult time getting the fur out of my garments, and last week one of them peed on my newly delivered ball gown."
"Dear, you can hardly blame Mephi and Cesela for such rude behaviour".
"I can, the dress was in pristine condition when it was delivered and was waiting for me in the dressing room".
Dr Thompson nods, taking note of the problem. "I see. It seems we're dealing with a situation involving your cats. Can you tell me more about your relationship with them?"
Meanwhile, Astarion shifts in his position on the couch, feeling defensive about his connection to his cats, looking at Irrae with a mixture of annoyance and defensiveness.
"Well, they adore him and despise me, well not Cesela as long as she gets treats.
The therapist watches Astarion's defensive reaction. "There seems to be a lot of tension around these cats. It's important that we understand the dynamics. Can you tell me how long you've had these cats?"
Astarion glances at Irrae before looking away, still fidgeting with the pen. He seems to be protective of his cats, even if they annoy her.
Irrae leans sideways, propping her elbow on the armrest. "About half a year ago they came into our garden, Cesela, a long-haired white cat, hopped onto our table and sat on a place mat until she got some chicken, while Mephi, also long-haired but pink, immediately snuggled up on his lap."
A small smile danced across the lord's lips as he seemed to remember that day.
"A pink cat?" Dr Tomasin asked.
"We suspect it was hexed, that's why we took it in," Astarion said.
"That's why you took her in." Irrae added almost absentmindedly.
Now, now little love, don't overreact, you have some flaws too! Who forgot her little gardening experiments outside and poisoned a third of the guests the last gathering. That's a bit more disturbing than a few cat hairs or a pee stain.
The therapist makes a note and raises an eyebrow.
"Technically it wasn't an accident, I wanted to know what effect these plants have on humans," she shrugs.
"You did what? What were you thinking, do you have any idea what might have happened?
"Well, I know the effect on elven species and half-breeds, so I knew it couldn't be that bad".
"You slept for two days!"
"And had very pleasant dreams, better than the poor stable boy who would have guessed that it would have such an effect on half orcs."
"You did that?" Astarion looked shocked.
"I also purified the poison and cured him; no harm done."
Dr Tomasin's look grew more worried by the minute.
"What about the stains on the sheets after your little soirees?" she rolled her eyes, changing the subject.
"What stains?"
"The blood, Astarion, other bodily fluids are easy to wash off, but blood?"
"The sheets are easy to clean, may I remind you of the body on the pool table?"
The Doctor's eyes widen in horror.
She chuckled, "Oh, that, in my defence, wouldn't have happened if you hadn't joined me".
"Oh yes I did, the way you bent over that poor man, the sounds you made as you fed on him, the way your backside moved," he leaned against her, the corners of his lips curling.
"The way you felt as I fed..." She closed her eyes, reliving a moment of pure bliss.
The therapist stood up, the floorboards creaking, two pairs of crimson eyes fixed immediately on him. He started to run, but Irrae whispered something and with a moment of her hand he couldn't move anymore.
He saw Astarion approach until he was standing right in front of him, those piercing red eyes almost glowing. Astarion smiled, Dr Tomasin could see a hint of fangs as the Lord's lips began to move before he could hear the words 'the world went black'.
The therapist blinked, he sat in his chair, something felt wrong but he could not point to it, the Lord and the Lady stood before him, their arms intertwined, sharing intimate glances.
"Doctor, thank you so much, who would have known that we needed to talk to each other. Thank you for your help in getting us through our problems so quickly," Astarion's voice was soft and hypnotic, those crimson eyes fixed on the therapist.
He watched the couple leave, unable to remember the session, his notepad empty.
His client walked out of his office arm in arm, her head resting on Astarion's shoulder, Dr Tomasin could hear them murmur about some cat free rooms and some plants not being kept out of the house before they were out of reach and the next clients came in.