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“I don’t understand why I couldn’t have gone to pick them up myself,” Spencer says with an indignant pout. He’s said similar nearly every step of the way: about going to them on the jet, about coming home with them on the jet, and now, finally, about getting them home from the jet. Scratch has been dead for a month already, and yet Spencer still lives in his time capsule, alone.
“Be patient, wouldn’t you rather your reunion be at home?” JJ asks in response. She’s essentially been tasked with babysitting duty, keeping Spencer distracted while Rossi and Emily retrieve the Hotchners from their placement in WitSec.
He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest in his spot, leaning against the back of one of their couches, “I would have rather seen them as soon as I was able.” By that, he means quite literally the second after Scratch died. Spencer wanted to get on the jet and do just that within the same hour, at least. No, instead, he’s been forced to sit through the most annoying protocols he thinks he has ever encountered in his life.
“I know, Spence,” She says, wrapping him up in a side hug as a means of comfort. “I’m sorry.” JJ sends a silent thanks up to whichever higher power made the doorbell ring at that very moment. “Wait here.”
“JJ!” He calls nervously before she can leave the room, “Do I... Look okay?”
In response, she laughs, lightly grabs both his cheeks, and says, “You look great.”
With a narrowing of his eyes, Spencer retorts, “You’re bad at lying to me, JJ.” He knows her far too well.
“Okay, fine, you look a little like Hell, but I don’t think anything except for a good eight hours of sleep next to your fiancé will fix that.” She makes a face, then turns and heads to the door. Maybe he should have settled for ‘great’ after all.
So, maybe his friends were right in making him wait. He stands where the living room meets the kitchen and the path to the entryway converges, as JJ opens the door. First, Emily makes her way in, then Rossi, each of them carrying a suitcase. The second Spencer has his eyes on them, he collapses to his knees on the spot. Overwhelmed by his emotions, his legs just seem to give out, as well as the dam holding back his tears. He thinks the only other time he has been this relieved to see someone, was when he saw his mom again after she was kidnapped by Lindsey Vaughn at the behest of Cat Adams.
“Papa!” He hears, somewhat distantly, as if he’s underwater, but arms wrapping around him, and a body colliding with him heavily draws him back to the surface. “Are you okay!?” Jack sounds so worried, and all Spencer can do is drag the boy in tight to him. His baby is so distressed he resorted to a name he hasn’t called Spencer in what feels like forever.
“You’ve gotten so big,” Is all he can sob. The little boy who had to leave nearly a year ago had only just recently turned eleven, but he’s now come back as a year older and has the growth spurt to show for it. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I couldn't get you home before your birthday.” He was absolutely miserable that day, missing his boys, but Jack doesn’t need to know that.
“I missed you too,” Jack sounds like he’s crying himself, now, clutching tight to the back of Spencer’s suit jacket, which he is undoubtedly getting reasons for a visit to the dry cleaner all over. “Happy birthday, Dr. Dad.”
“This may just be the best one I’ve ever had,” Spencer says as he fruitlessly wipes at his tears. They’re simply an endless outpouring of his emotions.
Aaron stands off to the side with Dave and the two women, merely observing the scene with teary eyes. He’s been waiting for this day for just shy of a year, and now that the moment is here, he can hardly believe it’s real. When Dave nudges him forward slightly, he finally approaches, slow in his movements. “Need a hand?” He asks as he reaches the two of them, right hand outstretched for Spencer. The man on the ground takes it with his left, as slow as Aaron’s approach. His hand slides further up Aaron’s arm as he rises, and Aaron is more than happy to see that Spencer wears his ring on his left hand now, rather than on a chain around his neck.
(Spencer had been too glad to flaunt it in front of Cat Adams during their meeting about his mother, now that he has a genuine ring to wear. He didn't give her any factual information on it; as far as she’s concerned, Spencer is set to marry some pretty blonde younger than him by a few years the very same week she’s set to be executed.)
Standing now, Spencer flings himself into Aaron’s arms. One thing Aaron has learned about his fiancé over the course of their relationship is that the man expresses his emotions better physically rather than verbally. In this moment, he can feel all of it; it’s like being swept up by the tide. It’s heartbreaking to feel, his own heart hurts for Spencer at the way the man shakes against him.
It broke his heart to leave the other behind, but ultimately, it’s just what they had to do. He had to think about Jack, and he knew that Spencer understood because he’d had their handler tell Aaron as much as soon as the message could be relayed. In the first months, every two weeks, they’d be given a packet of letters from Spencer, one to make up for every day with them he’d had to miss while he worked to bring them home. Then there was nothing, three months of absolutely nothing until June hit, and they started up again with no explanation. He plans on asking Spencer about it, but Aaron suspects that it may be a conversation to have just the two of them.
Instead, he broaches a topic he talked about in the car with Dave and Emily. “Next Saturday,” He starts with, but it seems like enough for his lover to understand.
“A lot happened while you were gone,” Is whispered into his shoulder, only meant for him to hear, “A lot happened to me while you were gone, I don’t think I’m the same Spencer you knew, the same man you fell in love with.” Aaron can’t see it, but he can vaguely feel Spencer playing with the ring on his finger against his back. “I need to explain; I need you to know. After that, if you still want to, yes, absolutely yes. We’ve waited long enough.” The tears in Spencer’s voice hurt.
“Can I at least kiss you now?” Aaron asks, wary of any new boundaries, he wants to tread carefully. Spencer answers by kissing Aaron himself, rather than with words. When they part, Aaron breathes out, “I’ve missed you so much, Spencer.”
“You were my first thought every single day.” If he’s honest, Spencer was beginning to forget what this felt like, the dreams could only do so much, and their effect started wearing off fast in prison. Still, he held on. He could survive in there knowing that he’d see them again. His sanity stayed intact while in solitary because every time he closed his eyes, Spencer was right here, in this house, held by these arms, with their baby tucked against them.
Just then, the phones of every agent present go off in unison, and Aaron has to swallow down the dread at having to let his lover go again as Spencer’s phone goes off too, but the man in question makes no attempts to move from his arms.
“I think we’ll leave you guys to your catching up,” Rossi says after clearing his throat and drawing them out of their little bubble. “It’s local, so we will see you soon, and you can take that as a threat.”
Spencer finally detaches from the Hotchners and returns to his friends, all of whom he hugs tightly, and whispers, “Thank you.”
When he pulls back, Emily’s eyes are soft, and she says, “This is one thing you never have to thank us for.”
Aaron takes his and Jack’s luggage upstairs while Spencer says his goodbyes to the team, and his heart cracks with every step through the house. Very little has changed. Jack’s drawings and old tests are still on the fridge, every picture is perfect, not a knick-knack out of place on the shelves, and there aren't any new ones. It’s worse upstairs; Jack’s room feels too reminiscent of the children’s bedrooms he’s seen grieving parents preserve. In a way, he supposes Spencer was grieving, and this was the shrine to the boy he’d adopted as his own. The bed is perfectly made, and the laundry is all folded and put away (interesting, considering that Spencer hates doing laundry). The only thing out of place is the large, pillowy blanket in the corner and the pile of books next to it. He wonders how many nights Spencer has spent in that corner, then quickly decides he doesn't want to, and shouldn’t know the answer to that question.
Their room feels worse, somehow. What was once Aaron’s side of the bed is now the only one with rumpled blankets, letting him know that this is where Spencer has been sleeping, rather than on his own side, which remains perfectly made. Belatedly, he thinks Spencer may have taken all this much harder than anyone could have expected, harder than he gave away in his letters.
His fiancé has been living in a time capsule.
“I’m all yours now,” Aaron hears from the direction of the door, and when he turns, he sees Spencer standing there, leaning against its frame, now devoid of his jacket. Despite it sounding like he wasn’t leaving with the team, Aaron’s still a little surprised to see him. He understands how Haley felt much more now that he’s on the other side.
“You don't have to go with them?” Well, evidently not, but he’s compelled to ask anyway.
“When I was reinstated, it was with the condition that for every hundred days I spend on the job, I need to take thirty off, so I’m teaching at the academy starting on Monday.” A regular nine-to-five, that’s something Aaron can approve of, but why did Spencer need reinstating in the first place, especially with such an odd condition? Still, the older man outstretches a hand towards the younger, who takes it easily and lets himself be pulled close.
Tucked against Aaron’s shoulder, he says, “Before anything, you should know that Cat Adams has it out for me, and that puts you and Jack at risk.” That is definitely not news that Aaron thought he’d be hearing. “As of right now, she doesn't have a clue, but she has people on the outside. It could only be a matter of time. I’ve told the team this, and they keep telling me everything will be okay, but it’s hard to believe them after Scratch, and with what she’s accomplished already.”
“How bad is it?”
Spencer sighs but leads the two of them so they can sit on the bed against the pillows. “Really bad,” He hates this, “As in ‘got in league with Lindsey Vaughn to drug me, frame me for murder, and later kidnap my mom’ bad.” How he wishes he could bring his boys home with no danger over their heads.
Aaron’s mind is reeling with the new information, “That means-” He begins, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. It kills him to know that Spencer was here, suffering when he needed Aaron most. He knew it was ultimately unavoidable, but this? It’s far worse than Aaron could have imagined.
“Just over eight months now, yeah.” Spencer was coming up on ten years when they left. All that hard work flushed away because of an UnSub with a vendetta.
At how resigned Spencer sounds, Aaron says, “Oh, sweetheart,” And can’t help but pull him in close, “I’m so sorry.” He wants to build the biggest defensive walls around his lover, to protect him from the horrors of the world.
“That became some of the least of my worries though.” Then, like the drop of a bombshell, Spencer says, “Milburn Correctional took over the top spot fast.”
That’s a federal prison. “How-”
“Overcrowding in protective custody.” There’s a scared energy to Spencer’s demeanour, one that Aaron feels he would do anything to take away, when he adds, “That's the reason I’m... Different now.”
“Is that why we didn’t hear anything from you for three months?”
Spencer nods his head from its place on Aaron’s shoulder, “I tried to write to you and Jack from inside once, but other inmates were too... Nosy. I didn’t want you to know.”
“It’s alright, love, I understand.”
“I was really stupid and I paid for it.” The words make Aaron simply hold him tighter, hating how Spencer blames himself like this, but right now, Spencer doesn’t need Aaron to bring that up, he needs Aaron to hold him, just like this. “Sometimes, I think I forget what it means to be okay. The things I did to survive in there- I hurt people, Aaron.”
Aaron, who Spencer was terrified to scare off with this, simply peppers Spencer’s forehead and right temple with soft presses of his lips. “You are so much stronger than anyone gives you credit for, my love.”
Spencer shakes his head, “I don’t know how you can-” He starts, but cuts himself off, unsatisfied with the first attempt. “I’m not who I was, I can’t... I can’t give you safety, I can’t give you-” There’s a hiccup in his throat as he says, “I don’t know if I can give you the life we planned, the life we dreamed of, anymore.” The feeling of a panic attack starts creeping up Spencer’s spine for what feels like the fifth time today. “I don’t know if the man you fell in love with, and planned a life with exists anymore.” He feels like he’s going to throw up any second now, but Aaron never lets go, never moves Spencer away from the safety of his arms.
A steady motion of a hand rubbing up and down his back is kept as Aaron whispers sweet nothings to him. Repetitions of, “You’re alright,” and “I’m right here,” and “I love you” eventually manage to calm him down some. It’s been so long since he felt like he could be vulnerable. He’s broken down in front of the others, sure, but those were all breaking points. He just can’t bring himself to willingly crack open the heavy armour around his heart, divulge his worst, in front of them. Aaron is different. Before WitSec, Spencer knew that he could open himself up and would be met with love back. Now... he’s hardened in a way that feels too different, in a way Aaron hasn’t known. Now, he’s just... He just isn’t sure of anything anymore. For now, he will, as selfish as it feels, simply allow himself the moment, to savour the comfort.
He feels another kiss pressed to his head, “My love, you will always be just that, my love, and there is minimal you could do to change that.” The weight of the words falls on Spencer like a warm blanket, exactly what he needed to hear.
It’s then that a knock sounds from the open door, drawing both their eyes up to see Jack standing a little awkwardly (something he picked up from Spencer) in the doorway. Spencer waves him over, and Jack all but catapults himself between them, snuggling up like he did when he was younger. Once settled, Jack asks, “Can I stay at Aunt Jess’ tomorrow night?”
“I’m sure she’d love that,” Spencer says as he ruffles Jack’s hair, “It could be a good surprise, she doesn’t know you’re home yet.”
“You didn’t tell her we were coming back?” Aaron asks, a furrow to his brow.
Then something dreadful happens: Spencer pulls his arm back from them to wrap around his own waist, his other joining it, hugging himself. Spencer only does that when he feels his most vulnerable, but when he’s already in someone’s arms, he never pulls back like this. “I-” The tears start again, pain he’s been holding in for months just spilling out, “I only found out for sure a few days ago, I-” He breaks off as a sob claws its way up his throat and the Hotchners can only watch on in horror. “I started thinking that you weren’t going to come back, that you’d- You’d stay wherever it was you were placed.”
He doesn’t look up, not until he feels arms wrap around him, tight, alongside his own, and tears pressing into his shirt, “We’d always come back for you!” Jack cries, “Always!” He sees Jack’s head first, and then as he slowly raises his own, he sees the look of absolute heartbreak on Aaron’s face, only serving to make Spencer cry harder.
“I’m sorry,” He says weakly, wet with tears, curling in on himself further, all the while still mindful of Jack.
“Shh,” Aaron softly shushes as he cradles Spencer’s face, gently wiping away some of the tears, “It’s alright, sweetheart, we’re here, we’re with you and we’re not going anywhere again. Not without you.” Spencer can feel Jack nod aggressively against his arm. He nods himself, and the knot in his chest eases up.
A while later, Aaron will ask again, “Next Saturday?”
This time, Spencer will answer with “Someone better tell Penelope to send out those invitations, huh?”
“I’ll do it!” Jack cheers, and both men laugh. Then he looks as if he’s concentrating on something, and eventually asks, “Hey, Dads?” When they both ask what’s up, he continues with, “Are you gonna change your names when you guys get married?”
“I hadn’t actually thought of that,” Aaron answers, and turns to gauge Spencer’s reaction. “Would you want to?”
“I...” Spencer starts, and his eyebrows pinch, leading Aaron to believe the answer will be no. Instead, he says, “I sort of moved into your office when you left,” This doesn’t necessarily surprise Aaron. He knows Emily moved into Morgan’s old office, and that his own would be given to someone else when he left. He also knows that Spencer hates change, and judging by their home, he’d wager that the office is much the same. “I couldn’t bear to take down your nameplate, so I had them put up a second holder below it, that way I could... I don’t know,” He shakes his head, looking down at his hands. “I just needed to hold onto it, but it does mean I’ve had multiple people come in pretending to look for you. So... It felt a little like I was going by Hotchner already.”
“I think we should all change our names,” Jack says, “Because Hotchner-Reid sounds cool, and I wanna have Spencer’s name too.” He looks right at Spencer then, and says, “You haven’t been my dad my whole life, but you will be for the rest of it, right?” The two men look at each other and grin, before Spencer’s pulling Jack in to pepper him with kisses. God, he loves his kid.
“Of course, I will be, bud.” He means that with every fibre of his being. “Always, and that’s a promise.” From over Jack’s head as he hugs the boy, he makes eye contact with Aaron and asks, “SSA Dr. Hotchner-Reid has a pretty good ring to it, don’t you think?”
“I think Mr. Hotchner-Reid sounds pretty good too,” Aaron answers, and leans over to kiss Spencer softly.
“Yes!” Jack cheers, “Do you think Nana’s gonna like it?”
“We can see how she’s doing tomorrow before surprising Aunt Jess, okay?” Spencer answers, “If it’s a good day I’m sure she’ll love a visit. She had me put a section on you and our life in her scrapbook to hopefully help her remember.”
“Awesome!” Jack hugs them both before jumping up off the bed. “I’m gonna go call Aunt Penny now! I’ll make sure the right names are on the invitations! Love you!” Then he’s off, out of the room and down the stairs to where he left his phone.
Once he’s gone, Spencer leans fully into Aaron, just relishing the moment, wanting nothing more than a long life with this wonderful man. “I love you,” Spencer says, hugging the arm Aaron has wrapped around him, “So fucking much.”
“I love you too,” Aaron replies and hugs Spencer closer, pulling them into a position more akin to lying down. “I’m really glad to be home.”
“Best birthday present ever,” He laughs, and turns more in his lover’s arms to hug him back properly, and then he leans up and kisses his fiancé.
Aaron hums and rubs Spencer’s back lightly when they part, “Is our wedding my birthday present?” He asks with a playful smile, “It’s only two days later.”
Spencer hums too in faux-contemplation, before replying, “You’ll get your real birthday present day of.” A sly smile stretches across his face that Aaron just can’t help but kiss.
Against his lips, Aaron says, “Can’t wait,” Before coming together again. Spencer can’t help but think this is exactly how it’s meant to be, and nothing sounds more perfect.