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“I can’t think around you.”
Jimin wants what he said to be taken in a teasing way so badly, wants what he really means to be swept under the rug so that maybe he can… so that maybe he can get rid of these bothersome feelings.
But Hoseok always could see right through him.
Even when they first met he was able to see past the delicate, intricate wall Jimin had put up to the world. It’s what made them become friends so quickly.
It’s what made him fall in love so quickly.
A person able to see him for who he is, strengths and flaws and all that is in between, and reserve judgement. An impartial presence that lends his ear to Jimin’s troubles and offers him a hug and solid advice afterwards if he wants it. A fun friend that’s always up for an adventure and never leaves his smile behind when they set off.
But Jimin's audacity in indulging the thought that Hoseok likes him back is stupid. Hoseok is like this with everyone; there isn’t an ounce of hate in his body. How he treats Jimin isn’t special. It’s just… him. It’s who he is.
And who Jimin is? A charity case he took pity on.
He’s sulking and he knows it. He feels ridiculous; he gets to spend his entire morning hanging out with Hoseok at his favorite cafe, and he won’t let himself enjoy it. He stares into the nearly empty contents of his cup as he tries to process.
Somehow he let slip one of his most vulnerable thoughts and now it’s like he’s standing guard before his heart, fiercely defending it to what he presumes is an inevitable rejection.
Hoseok is smiling at him. One of those stunning, heart-shaped smiles of his that tells Jimin what he’s about to say is going to kill him.
The fear of being loved back hurts. The fear of hoping hurts. The fear of everything he holds dear crashing down around him hurts.
The fear of losing him hurts the worst.
“I can’t think around you either.”
Hoseok reaches across the table to hold Jimin’s hand for just a second, then pulls it away.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
Is he teasing, or does that mean what he thinks it means?
Why did he have to choose to speak in tongues? Jimin knows he started it, but still. How is he ever going to get the courage to ask Hoseok to clarify? Where is he meant to go from here?
This is so frustrating. It answers everything and nothing and he feels like a fish floundering out of water.
He thinks Hoseok read his mind, because he grabs Jimin’s hand again to raise it up to his lips and kiss the back of it.
Oh.