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He tries to look around even with the way his sight keeps getting blurry. He tries and tries to search for something that can keep him grounded.
Look for five things that you can see, four things that you can sme- No, it was five things you can hear, four you can see- What was it supposed to be like? Even if he tries, it doesn’t work to slow down the feelings that keep coming in waves from his soul all the way through his body, making themselves present as shivers that he cannot control.
How can it be that he wasn’t useful enough?
Smart enough.
Fast enough.
But one thing was clear, he was selfish, after all he had the ego. He was greedy and an awful egoist. It not only cost him his dream of winning the World Cup with his partner, but he cut his treasure’s wings.
His beautiful treasure, the one that has the potential to be the perfect striker and had finally started to have appreciation for the sport. All ruined because he was careless and stupid, if he hadn’t caved in the first time, things could’ve been different.
This cannot be the end.
As he starts to spiral even more, he keeps thinking in ways to fix this, to prevent him of getting locked off. He can’t fail him, if he does. How is going to look at his partner in the eye? He fucked up enough already, the only way to be helpful is making amends and fixing it.
He’s strong enough, after all he was born to do this. He has been trained his whole life for this, negotiating with his best arguments to get what he wants. What’s the difference? But he fails to do it, the voice once strong and filled with confidence, breaks as a sob gets stuck in his throat.
Why is so difficult? Keep a stoic face and use your abilities to the benefit, thats what his father always told him. Why can’t he do it? Get a grip, if you don’t your treasure is going to leave your side and that cannot happen, you are a duo, one can’t exist without the other, so with resolve he starts again.
A flick of hope flashes through his chest but it goes away quickly as Ego shuts him up and starts attacking his partner. What’s wrong with him? His treasure is amazing, a genius and he’s been playing for less than a year, imagine all the things that he could do within the next two months at the World Cup. How can Ego be so blind?
He cannot look at Nagi in the eyes, he really tried to keep his composure, but the mask at the end slipped off. Shame, dread and sadness with a hint of frustration were the feelings that came after knowing that he couldn’t save him. Maybe he can try again, he would defend his partner for an eternity if necessary. Just a couple of seconds to regain his thoughts and control, he’s ready to go again even if it destroys him.
“Reo”
He finally looks at Seishiro in the eyes knowing that he failed him.
It’s suffocating.