Chapter Text
Usopp whisked into the next hospital room in the corridor, his robes flapped around his ankles even though he didn't walk. One of the beauties of being a Horseman of the Apocalypse, no need to walk or use doors. Even though Usopp tended to do that anyway, it just felt right.
Hmmm, what do you have? Usopp wondered as he quickly skimmed over the patient's medical records that hung on the door. A severe case of pneumonia, huh. Well, shall we add something to it? Usopp sifted through the various fleas that rode along on his white blanket that he has currently thrown over his arm.
He used to have a white horse that he rode, however, let's just say, that it suffered from too many infectious fleas riding it and ended up catching 'the too-much-work' disease that Usopp suffered from constantly. He had debated for many years before deciding that just using a blanket to ride on and house his illnesses was better than anything living. At least he didn't eat his horse like Famine did.
It was during the Black Plague era that he got the brilliant idea for carrying his illnesses in fleas, since that was how he ended up spreading the Bubonic Plague in the first place. However he had lost the horse shortly after. Worst decision to make when you ride an animal around, he had chastised himself for that idea in the years it took him to decide on the blanket. It was easier than having to sift through a bag for his little vials and what not.
Stupid mask won't let me see the fleas. With frustration Usopp pushed his plague mask up to sit on his forehead revealing his face and longer than normal nose, which in turn caused his crown to tip back onto his fluff of hair almost falling to the floor. Stupid things I have to wear bothering the things I want to wear. He shoved the crown back on his head that made his blanket slip to the floor of the hospital room. It all pulled a loaded sigh from Usopp's lungs.
When he was brought into creation he had been gifted three material things, as were his brothers. All four of them got a horse; Usopp was given a bow and crown, War a sword and shield, Famine got scales and a hat, and Death was given a scythe and cloak. The rest of their outfit they got to choose. Last Usopp saw of War he was a Viking, Death was still only in his cloak, and Famine was still naked with just the stupid straw hat on his head. Usopp didn't understand that gift. Usopp had a love for the doctor's outfits from the Black Plague area. A crow mask covering their face, with the glass goggles attached, and a long robe down to their feet. It didn't help them much, but it was the first disease doctors outfit that he had really liked.
Bending down he gathered his blanket that caused the bow strung across his chest and back to pull at the movement. He technically didn't need the bow anymore since he had his fleas now, but it was the nostalgia of it that made Usopp keep it. Firing a disease into someone was a thing of the past, now it was all about the bite. Not a vampires bite like all those stupid teenage girls wanted, but the animal bite whose saliva contained anything and everything from the common cold, to AIDS, to rabies, to the flu. He had something that did it all.
Now which flea do I want to give you. Usopp pondered about it, skimming over the flea options shown before him. Not something too debilitating, you already have that. Usopp tapped his finger against his chin as he thought. Maybe just a stomach virus. Dude can hardly breath as it is. With choice in hand Usopp picked up the flea and placed it on the man's arm above his blankets. He watched as the flea bit down and then disappears with a small pop sound. Now you will be all kinds of gross for the nurses, Usopp thought as he floated his way to the door to stick his head through it and into the corridor.
Usopp had learned over the years that making rounds at hospitals like this usually weren't the funnest or best part of his job. It tended to be just doing what he did to that man, mixing known illnesses and/or diseases together to make the person worse. Which, sure, as Pestilence was all kinds of fun, but it was the making up of new things that really got Usopp excited for his job. He loved creating random things that he would call ‘too-scared-to-poop’ disease and ‘there-is-no-reason-to-have-a-nose-bleed’ illness.
Okay, so maybe the names weren't the best, but they were things that Usopp had made and even tried on people before. The poop one ended badly. It's not something Usopp likes to think about. But the nosebleed one happened in this hospital only about a week ago and the young doctor who took the patient was able to help them within a couple days. Usopp had never had that happen before. Most of the time when he tried out one of his new diseases no one could figure it out for weeks, sometimes months, or even after the patient had already passed away. But this young doctor did it in a couple days. Maybe it wasn't the most complicated of illnesses for Usopp to give someone, but that wasn't the point.
The point was that the young man seemed to be able to cure whatever Usopp sent his way and it was starting to really bother Usopp. He hated spending this much time in a hospital but there was no way that he was going to let the young man get the better of him.
As if on que the young doctor appeared at the end of the hallway moving quickly towards the room Usopp's head poked out of. This had been Usopp's life for the past week. Make the young doctors patients worse and see what he did about it.
And every time he managed to figure out the new problem quickly and combat it.
Usopp watched the young doctor's head of curly light brown hair bob around as he quieted the machines around his patient and begun the assessment. Like always the young man figured it out too quickly. Wha… How… I… Usopp found himself stuck in a loop of thoughts. The young man only looked at one or two places on his patient before he figured out why he was vomiting all over his shoes.
Need something new. With that thought in mind Usopp slipped through the wall leading into the corridor and floated his way down to the end, having nurses, visitors, and anyone else in the hall slip right through him. One of the beauties of being incorporeal, Usopp thought as he phased into the young doctor's office. Tony T. Chopper was the name across the door.
Inside the office there were books from every medical profession available and even more on different types of illnesses and diseases. The doctor, Chopper, Usopp reminded himself, needs to get a life outside of medicine sometime.
Stuffing himself into the far corner near the ceiling, the spot Usopp claimed for himself when he decided that Chopper was his medical rival, Usopp began sifting through his fleas and decided what ailments he wanted to take from them to add to a new one. There was abdominal pain, always an Usopp favorite only just below coughing blood. Add those two together. Fever is too common. Sweaty palms? Might as well. Bleeding excrement? Hmmm, bleeding from both top and bottom, it's a bit much but perfect for this doctor. Let's see what else.
The door to the office opened to reveal a rather smelly and dirty Dr. Chopper. Usopp vaguely watched the man change into some other clothes before he sat down at his desk and made notes on something. Usopp didn't pay much attention to the man, but Horsemen in general did show a predilection for not caring about the people they haunt. Not like War ever does, or Death. They are the most general about the ones they inflict. Its Famine and Usopp that tended to follow individuals.
Famine always made it a game. Learning about the person he was following before he made them destroy themselves with their greed. Usopp tended to follow a person just to see how the illness or disease affected them. Guess that made Chopper different. Maybe I should pay attention to him more, Usopp realized as he lifted his eyes too watch Chopper type something on his computer screen before he got up and, most likely, went to another patient's room.
Finally Usopp had a new flea. What to name you, Usopp pondered as he went to find one of Chopper's healthier patients. Maybe ‘what-is-all-this-fluid-coming-out-of-me-for’ disease. A stupid smile flitted over Usopp's face as he went into another room where a sleeping patient laid. Perfect name. Usopp set the flea loose.