Chapter Text
The letter between his fingers was so light, yet so heavy. His hands shook slightly with nerves, excitement and maybe slight dread. It was addressed to King Ren and even though he felt nearly every heart-pounding emotion out there, nothing had him turning around to rethink his decision. Martyn was sure he wanted to do this, so the blonde carefully pushed the chancery door open after being given permission to enter.
Martyn smiled as he walked in, letter in hand. Even though they were meant to stay professional, he and Ren had something a bit more playful. Some could attribute it to how many years they’d worked together, but he couldn’t remember a time when the king wasn’t warm toward him.
He closed the door and walked through, right up to the dog’s desk with a sheepish smile, “Hope your morning has been good, Milord.” Martyn tilted his head, swallowing the nerves threatening to choke him. He was nearly vibrating with excitement, the Pomeranian could barely wait as he politely stood with the letter in hand.
Ren didn’t look up immediately upon his entry, instead opting to finish the line he was writing. Even if he hadn’t been called out to for permission to enter, he could have recognized the blonde by his footsteps alone. He paid attention to those little things, especially when they came to his beloved Hand. His tail had been wagging below his desk and out of sight since he heard Martyn’s voice, and continued to do so now that he was here. His presence never failed to make his chest flutter with warmth, a more than welcome sensation. Truly, he could consider Martyn to be his sun.
“I’d say it has, though it’s always better when you arrive.” He flirted lightly, setting the pen down at last to give Martyn his full attention like he deserved. Ren’s gaze wandered to the letter held in the Pom’s hand and then back up to his face, not yet daring to bring up business when he could instead enjoy pleasantries with him. Such comforts were especially rare for the king, precious moments that seemed to only be freely given by Martyn. He could hardly help wanting to cling to them. “I hope you’ve had a fine morning, yourself.”
Martyn preened at that, it was always a good feeling to know the king enjoyed your presence! “I’m glad I could make it enjoyable for you,” He smiled, tail wagging behind him with the rising joy pouring out from the depths of his soul, at this point. “And I certainly have! I’ve got a letter from me,” Martyn brought the letter up to his chest with his right hand, before holding it out to Ren. “To you.”
The Pomeranian’s smile was so big, “I could’ve sent through the post, but I thought you’d like this to be expedited.” He joked to somewhat settle his nerves.
Ren blinked in surprise but recovered quickly. Martyn had never written him a letter before, there was nothing he had to say that he couldn’t or wouldn’t simply tell him in person. It had to be important, then. He made sure to treat it as such.
“Not a resignation letter, I hope? I fear I’d be lost without you.” Ren jested as he took the offered letter, pulling his letter opener from a heavy drawer to get it open without making crude tears in the envelope.
Martyn laughed, waving his hand before interlocking it with the other behind his back, “Oh, goodness no. Far from that, so far that the line is a dot to you.” The Pomeranian promised, “I’ll be honest, this has had me nervous for a long while. I apologize for my… My shyness, I suppose.”
Though Ren often tried not to let himself get too hopeful, he had to admit that the signs were there and he could feel that spark flickering in his chest. Martyn came to him in person with a letter, an *urgent* letter he wanted to watch him read, the blonde was nervous, and he had assured he wasn’t leaving... Could it be that Ren’s years of waiting were finally going to be rewarded? Something in his chest throbbed with longing, that flicker of hope swelling until he couldn’t keep his smile from broadening and his tail from wagging even faster.
“You know you never need to be shy around me, Martyn.” Ren assured as he pulled the letter out, his voice unmistakably fond.
“Oh I know, but this… It’s hard not to be.” Martyn hummed, his own smile as big as it could be while he watched his king unfold his letter.
Unwilling to wait another moment, Ren cast his gaze downward to begin reading.
‘Dear Ren,
I’ve known you for years, we’ve spent countless hours together and I feel it’s right to say you are my closest friend, one who knows my heart and soul.’
Martyn swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek in anticipation.
‘Much time has passed and I am still very grateful to have spent everyday with you. There is never a dull moment with you and I always look forward to seeing and talking with you.’
Martyn’s hands fidgeted as his eyes darted along Ren’s features.
‘That is why I’ve decided to personally write to you, to formally invite you to my wedding on May 11th. Not as the king, but my dearest, most cherished friend.
Yours truly,
Martyn Littlewood’
Ren had learned to read things quite swiftly, an important skill for a man who had to read as much as he did. His eyes widened slightly as he breezed through that first paragraph, his chest beginning to burn. He wanted nothing more than to leap up from his desk and wrap his arms around Martyn, press their lips together until he was certain he could never forget the taste, and.. Wait.
Wedding? Ren felt his stomach drop so sharply, the wave of nausea immediately washing over him almost made him gag. He raised a hand to his face as though to keep it at bay, though only two fingers actually managed to touch his lips.
“I would be honoured to have you attend.” The Pomeranian finally said, hoping he accurately guessed when Ren had finished reading since he had yet to speak a word. “A-And say a speech, if you’d like.”
The king’s lips parted, but it took a moment longer than he would have liked for the words to come out. “You’re getting married?” He managed, only realizing after the fact that Martyn was likely hoping for more than shock in his response. He hadn’t even mentioned seeing someone.. How long had this been going on? Oh, what a foolish man he’d been.
Martyn didn’t pick up on the signs, he was sure it could be surprising to know someone close to you is getting married. “I am.” He said, affection dripping from his tone. Goodness, how he loved his fiancé. The Pomeranian even lifted his left hand to show the gold wedding band around his ring finger. “I proposed not too long ago,” The blonde explained, his left hand returning to interlock with his other behind him. “We’ve still got some planning to do, but I wanted you to be the first to know about it.”
Oh, the warmth in his voice… Ren was sure he’d never felt so cold. Martyn had never spoken to him like that before, like Ren had strung the stars in the sky for him. The way Ren spoke about him… And he would have, if given the chance.
The king’s eyes snapped to the band of gold around Martyn’s finger, though it felt more like a shackle around his own throat. Of course, of course… Martyn had never responded to his flirtatious attempts because he didn’t feel that way, he could never feel that way about Ren. His most cherished friend, he’d said in the letter. He really should have seen this coming, Ren’s life had always been a series of closing doors. His ears twitched with the urge to flatten, but he refused to let them. His tail had long since fallen limp upon his chair, and he wished he could do the same.
“That’s..” A sound not too dissimilar to a disbelieving laugh slipped out of him, a cover for something far less joyous. “That’s wonderful, Hand.” He hoped it didn’t look as obvious as it felt when he swallowed then. “I have to admit, I.. I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” He set the letter down on the desk, his fingers were beginning to shake.
Martyn’s ears perked a bit at that, his cheeks flushing a bit, “Well, my fiancé requested I keep it as private as I could. I really did try to convince him but… Ah, he says it still feels unreal he’s seeing the hand of the king, that ‘he’d burst into flames if the king knew about his existence.’” Martyn laughed, shaking his head.
Then, he glanced at Ren with a bit of a sheepish grin, “And… If I were to get started on him, you’d never hear the end of it.” It was like a highschool girl experiencing her first crush, really. The sparkle in his eyes competed with the sun, the beam in his expression was just so blissful. “He’s so wonderful, Milord. You’ll love him.”
If Martyn loved him, he had to be. The man had never looked as beautiful as he did now, radiant with love and joy. Ren forced himself to smile, for the blonde’s sake. After all, he deserved to be happy more than anyone.
“I’m sure he is.” He assured, biting back bitterness. “I’m just,” Ren waved a hand around, searching for the right words. “I’m so happy for you.” He used the skills he’d learned long ago and honed as a leader of their kingdom to lie through his teeth. “When will I meet him?” His voice cracked slightly and he cleared it, faking a bubble in his throat.
Martyn’s eyebrow quirked at that. Ren could lie to a thousand people and get away with it, but only one person could catch even just the slightest nuance and that person was Martyn.
He brushed it off as Ren being caught off guard, he’d just received surprising news. “Whenever you’d like. Could be at the wedding, before the wedding… I’ll talk to him,” Martyn chuckled, “Might have to get on my knees and beg for two hours, but I’m sure he could have himself ready tonight, even. Whenever works for you, Milord.” The Pomeranian joked, snickering a bit. His fiancé could get flustered easily and it was cute to Martyn, but the blaze didn’t appreciate how obvious it was.
Ren’s heart screamed no, he never wanted to meet him, let him go the rest of his life without meeting the man Martyn loved in all the ways he would never love him. “I’m afraid I haven’t the time to prepare myself for such an honor by tonight… I’ll have to look at my schedule to find some.” The excuse was nonsense, but he needed an excuse to put this off long enough not to burst into tears like a fool at the sight of Martyn with someone else.
Martyn hummed in complete understanding, “No worries, Milord. You just give me a time and date and we’ll be ready. I take this as you accepting the invitation, then?” The Pomeranian had so much hope in his voice, “I would really love for you to be there. Even for an hour. Of course, no pressure, we are both very aware of your workload,” Martyn chuckled, “However… I would really love to spend and share the day I marry the love of my life with those I hold dear to my heart.”
If Martyn wanted Ren there for him to marry the love of his life, Ren would watch him be wed to someone else. He slipped a hand under his desk, acting like he was casually rubbing his leg. Instead, he dug his nails as deeply in as he could manage through his clothing, desperate for any sensation to overwhelm the sickening dread in his stomach. “I would have thought you’d know by now that I can’t say no to you.” He responded, the smile he wore more genuine this time.
Martyn’s expression was so happy, he looked like he was about to jump up and down and squeal with joy. It was obvious, you could hear his tail hitting his coat from wagging so hard, “You have no clue just how happy I am to hear that you’ll attend!” Martyn gleefully beamed, fluffy Pom ears perking up high. “Tango is going to be so pleased to know you’ll be there, I’ll let you know how he responds when I tell him tonight.” Martyn winked, a promise to do so.
Ren wanted terribly to share in his elation the way they always had before, but try as might, he couldn’t seem to summon even a shred of joy. He was such a selfish man... “It’s my pleasure, really. I’m honored to be there for you.” In the only way he could be.
Martyn smiled with his teeth this time, beyond excited for a wedding that wasn’t even halfway planned. He was just so glad to hear his king would go. “I really am grateful to have you in my life, it means the world to me that I get to celebrate this with you, Ren.”
The Pomeranian clasped his hands together and sighed in relief, giving his goodbyes before walking out to attend to his daily duties so Ren could have his own time to get his priorities done.
Ren didn’t think he’d live to regret granting Martyn permission to use his name.
He sat there in silence, listening for any sign of Martyn’s return. When he heard nothing, Ren finally slouched over his desk and covered his mouth to muffle the first in a long series of sobs, knowing there was no one around to hear it.