Chapter Text
It was Smissmas night, and everything was well. Well, almost everything. Scout had just put the kids to bed, but his ma still hadn’t arrived yet. She said she was coming; what was taking so long?
Sitting in his armchair, he restlessly tapped his foot against the carpet, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Nine o’ clock. Ten thirty. Eleven. She said she was coming. Was everything alright?
He stood up and peeked out the window. It was snowing pretty heavily, but he could see that there were still cars on the road, moving slowly and cautiously through as the snow whipped around the street.
Suddenly, a beat-up old station wagon pulled into the driveway.
“Ma’s car!” Scout exclaimed. He sighed in relief. She was just late after all.
He didn’t want to seem like he was waiting for her, so he pulled the curtains back over the window and quickly sat back down, waiting to get up only when he heard a knock on the door.
“Jeremy, sweetie, I’m so sorry I was late,” she said to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and clasping his hands. She was wearing leather gloves, but her hands were still cold.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m just glad you’re here,” Scout replied. He took her coat from her and hung it up on the coat rack by the door.
“No, really, sweetie, I’m sorry. I missed seeing everyone. I was gonna meet your coworkers--former coworkers, I mean, and I know that means a lot to you, but there was so much snow and I couldn’t get the car started, and--”
She paused, staring at Scout for a second before smiling. “But it’s been so long, enough about me! How are you, sweetheart? How was the party?”
Scout smiled. “It was good! I mean, man, everyone was there, we had turkey, the kids actually almost behaved for once…”
They both laughed at that.
“Well, I know how you and your brothers were when you were their age,” Scout’s ma said. “I’d say it’s payback for how you used to drive me up a wall.”
Scout laughed harder.
“No, no, joking aside, they’re great kids. And so were you and your brothers.”
“Thanks, Ma. Can I get you anything to drink? There’s no turkey left but there is still some stuffing in the fridge.” Scout paused. “I think.”
“Do you have any cocoa? Something hot would be nice.”
“Yeah, I can put a kettle on. We gotta be quiet though, the kids are all asleep.”
She followed Scout into the kitchen, watching as he filled a tea kettle of water from the sink and put it on the stove.
“So,” she said softly. “You still haven’t told me any details. How was it?”
“It was busy, I don’t think I’ve ever had that many people over.”
Scout grabbed a pair of mugs from the cabinet. The only clean ones were a handmade one with “#1 DAD” painted onto it in big pink letters and a plain red one, sturdy and reliable; that one was an ages-old gift from Miss Pauling, something RED sent out as a Smissmas gift years prior. He set the mugs down on the counter and gave each of them a spoonful of powdered cocoa mix.
“Oh man, I don’t even know where to start. So much happened, really, and I hadn’t seen most of the guys in years,” Scout said, reminiscing a bit.
“I bet it was nice,” his ma said.
“It was. I wish you could’ve made it, but hey, there’s always time next year.” Scout thought for a bit, stirring the powder around in his mug. “I never know when I’m gonna see them again. They’re still in town, they’re at the hotel right now, but I dunno, time just passes so quickly sometimes.”
“I get it, sweetheart.”
“I mean one day you’re twenty-seven and everything’s still seemin’ shiny and new and you got a steady job and…”
And a partner. Scout froze.
“Jeremy?”
He was suddenly twenty-seven again, sitting in Pyro’s room. Pyro had reached out for his hands, but he’d brushed him off.
“I’m sorry,” he’d said. “I don’t think this is a good idea anymore.”
“What is?” Pyro must have known the answer already; there was a note of pain in his voice.
“Us. This whole…relationship.” Scout tried not to look him in the eye.
“Is this about work? We don’t have to try to hide it anymore, I know you’re worried, but…”
“No, that’s not just it. I mean…” He clenched his teeth.
Jeremy, I must tell you how proud I am of you, his mother had said weeks earlier.
Wow, really? That means a lot, Ma. I hope you’ve been doing well.
He saw her shoulders drop a little. Well, it’s nice that you’re visiting me, sweetie. Your brothers have been getting into a lot of trouble, so it’s nice to hear you’re on the right track.
Yeah? What have they been doin’?
Well, let’s see…Ernest is in trouble with the law again. Something about “outstanding gambling debts.” I told him not to bet so much money on amateur wrestling. And Joseph, he keeps spending all his money on those “get rich quick” schemes. He says the next one “will absolutely do the trick,” but I just can’t give him any more money.
That bad, huh?
Unfortunately. And Davy, Ricky, Paul, and Lawrence are in and out of jail. They never really outgrew that rowdy phase. They keep getting into skirmishes. And Art…
What about Art?
He’s alright, all things considered. But he has this new girlfriend, and to tell you the truth I’m not very fond of her. She’s rather strange.
Strange? Scout blinked.
I don’t honestly see them having much of a future.
What do you mean?
I don’t think they’ll ever settle down, get married, buy a house, have kids, that kind of thing. I mean, I can’t imagine that happening with the two of them.
Scout remembered the way his mother’s mouth curled when she said that. She clearly disapproved.
“Scout?”
He didn’t say anything. His mother would never approve of Pyro. In fact, it would kill her to know who he was dating. It would, right?
Right?
“I think maybe we should keep our distance. I’m sorry, Johnny.”
Pyro wasn’t wearing his mask, but Scout turned away before he saw his face crumple up into a sob. He stood up quickly and excused himself from the room, and that was that.
The next day, Pyro acted as if nothing ever happened between them, good or bad. He was back to simply being Scout’s odd coworker. Scout could occasionally feel his eyes linger on him when they passed in the halls, but that was it.
“Jeremy?”
Scout felt a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back into the present. His ma was looking at him, holding the kettle.
“You’re letting the kettle go off.”
Scout mouthed an “oh” and grabbed the kettle from her, pouring the boiling water in each mug and topping them off with mini marshmallows.
“Honey, what’s bothering you?” His mother asked, eyes darkened with worry. “You were gone for a minute.”
“Sorry, I just…there was someone at the party. One of my exes, someone I dated back from work.”
“Oh! Was it that Pauling lady? You were always talking about her whenever we called.”
Scout smiled a bit. “No, I never dated her. Uh, it was, um, someone I never mentioned to you.”
“Oh, sweetheart, why didn’t you say anything about having a girlfriend?” She looked sympathetic.
“I didn’t think you’d approve.”
“Honey,” his ma’s voice was oddly serious. “What on earth made you think that? Tell me about her!”
“Uh, her name is Jeannie. I mean, that’s one of her names.” His mother had a curious reaction but looked interested, so he continued. “She also went by Johnny.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, uh, most of the time she was a man. But she was also a woman,” Scout tried to quickly explain. “But yeah, that’s who I was dating.”
His mother nodded, so Scout started talking again.
“I know that’s, like, a lot to take in, and I just…that’s not the only reason why, I mean Johnny, he was real odd sometimes. Like kinda crazy. I mean, he’d see things that weren’t happening and he’d say the weirdest things sometimes. I mean, sometimes I had no clue what he was talking about. I mean, I could never have kids and settle down with him, really.”
“Honey--”
“Like the whole ‘two kids and a house in the suburbs as working husband and housewife’ thing? That could never happen between us. I mean--”
“Jeremy!”
Scout stopped talking. His mother looked stern.
“What got those ideas into your head?”
Scout stirred his cocoa absentmindedly, fidgeting with his spoon. “I heard what you said about Art, remember? About that one girlfriend he had years ago? I knew you wouldn’t approve, so I…I broke up with Johnny.”
Her face fell. Scout stopped stirring his cocoa. “Jeremy, dear, sweetheart, you did that because of what I said? You thought I wouldn’t approve?”
She walked over to him and clasped his hands in hers. “The only reason I said that is because I didn’t have a perfect life. I mean, with my first husband, we were both working so hard all the time to support your brothers, we hardly had time to take care of them.”
“And your father? You know I had you out of wedlock with him. He was just my sweetheart at the time. I didn’t have a perfect suburban life, Jeremy, so I just…I said that because I wanted something better for your future.”
Scout’s eyes grew wide. “What? You did great, Ma, you really did. There’s nothing wrong with how you raised me and the guys. You are a great mom.”
She smiled a bit, but her face was still serious. “Honey, I never meant for you to take what I said about Art as life advice. Don’t worry so much about what I think, okay?”
Scout pinched his brow. “It’s alright, what’s done is done. I don’t regret how life turned out for me, I just wish I told him the truth back then.”
“Jeremy…”
“I was a real bonehead about it, Ma, I really was. Didn’t even say why I wanted to break up because I was so chicken. And seeing him today just made me realize that it wasn’t right. And that I should apologize.”
He looked to his mother for approval and found her smiling. “You don’t need me to tell you that’s a good idea anymore. You’ve grown up, Jeremy, you’ve grown up a whole lot.”
“I know. I just…do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”
“That’s up to him,” she said. “I sympathise with both of you. Obviously with you, I mean you’re my baby and always will be…but I went through something similar with your father. He never told me why he left.”
Scout cringed. God, he was just like his dad after all. What a rotten thought. What a terrible thing to do.
“Oh, honey, I know how you feel about him.” Her voice was warm and gentle. “But if I ever saw him again, and he was truly sorry…well, I’d reconsider a lot of things.”
“What?”
She smiled fondly a bit. “We were both young and stupid back then. We made a lot of hasty decisions together. But if he ever apologized to me, I think we could be on better terms from then on. Hypothetically, of course.”
Scout thought about that. He’d always been his mother’s number one defender, against his father, at least. He doesn’t even remember what he looked like, but he was sure that if he ever saw him, he’d know. He’d be able to sense his disgusting presence and from then, it was on sight. He’d totally pummel the daylights outta him for what he did to her.
But hearing that she’d forgive him if he was sincere…that was a new thought. It took the wind right out of his lungs.
He took a sip of cocoa to distract himself, savoring the warmth and letting it quench his thirst.
“What are you thinking, baby?”
“I…wow, Ma, that’s…that’s a lot. Do you think…” he took another sip. “If my dad, if he apologized? Hypothetically, I mean. Would you ever consider, maybe…going…going back on a date with him?”
Scout hated the way those words sounded as they came out of his mouth, and his mother looked equally shocked that he had said that. Her face turned pale, then red, then she stammered a bit as she tried to answer him.
“That’s silly, Jer, it’s not a real scenario--”
But she recognized the look on his face. She realized why he was really asking that.
“I’d consider it,” she hummed quietly.
“You…you’d…?”
“‘Consider’ being the key word. I really did love him, but dealing with what he did to me, that was rough. It’d take a lot of time for me to forgive him first, before we could pick up where we’d left off. And things would be different even if we did.”
“They would be,” Scout said thoughtfully, watching his mom take another sip of her cocoa.
“I dunno, Ma, seeing Johnny again today…we didn’t talk much, but just seeing him made me realize I, uh, I still feel somethin’ for him.”
“Don’t jump the gun, sweetie,” his ma said, patting him on the shoulder. “Try apologizing first.”
“But you think…?”
“You should go for it if it’s what you really want. It’s better to be told no than to regret never saying anything at all. But you’d better apologize first!”
“Aw, Ma, of course I will.” Scout said, finishing his cup. “I have the hotel number, I should call him up.”
“You go do that, honey. I can watch the kids for a while if needed.”
“Thanks, Ma.”