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“Would you like to sit on my hand?” Titan TV asked. “I want to touch something.” With the development of their insides more or less finished, they no longer needed constant supervision. Their armour was now the priority, which meant that engineers didn’t need to be inside their purified inner sanctum, and didn’t need to be inside them. But their sensory and proprioceptive systems were connecting and calibrating, they were eager for data and being alone and understimulated made them restless.
“If the engineers find any trace of me, they’ll have to waste time hunting dust bunnies,” Jeffrey explained gently. “And I don’t want to disturb them to get decontaminated, then they’ll want to monitor our conversation too.” Despite that, the TVman climbed off the visitor balcony, using his grappling claws to lower himself on to a gantry and approach as close as he could.
The immense, glowing framework of Titan TV’s endoskeleton seemed to shimmer as it moved to lean forward, an effect caused by the slight swing of pipes transporting fluids. “I want you to visit decontaminated one day. I want to see you without clothes. And hold you.”
Jeffrey looked down and, for a moment, his screen faded dim enough for Titan TV to see some bright streaks of their own body reflected. That screen fade was something that the titan knew TVmen did sometimes when complimented, as if hiding from praise. Titan TV didn’t understand that, they loved how their body looked, even incomplete, they loved what it represented, all the attention and love. And what it would represent, the future legend of their battlefield prowess.
They admired their own light in Jeffrey’s screen, and felt a little sad that the veins of energy, coolant, and hydraulic fluids crossing their internal structure would be hidden when they were permanently encased in their armour. But they’d know they were beautiful inside, and so would everyone who’d seen them at this stage. They wanted all the TVmen to see them, up close! “Why don’t we use virtual space?”
“Everyone will know we’re doing it because of the power drain.” Running a virtual reality instance that could transfer sensory data to and from the titan’s immense and complex systems was so taxing that it had been limited to essential training purposes, and only for an hour at most before people started complaining about the lights flickering.
“I’m bored, it’s important that I’m socialised. Can I convince you by saying I want to show you something?” Titan TV made a mock-grab for Jeff, swiping at the air several feet away. The TVman tensed, judging if he should move back, then recognised the game and raised his hand as if to reach out. The titan copied his gesture, and they both mirrored a touchless contact.
“I think I know what you want to show me,” Jeffrey replied, quietly. He stood up to swing himself back up on to the balcony. Yes, he was going to do it, he was going to plug himself into the hangar console, and Titan TV was thrilled enough by that little victory that it was difficult to focus inward. They located the simulation program, connecting to it and letting a virtual map unfold. It was a replica of the hangar, of course it was, that was the only place that the titan knew well enough to effortlessly recall. But they were on the visitor balcony too, small enough to fit, able to stand up, and free from the short cables connecting them to the hangar.
Titan TV waited patiently as Jeffrey looked around for them. Up, across… finally down. When Jeffrey spoke, he sounded surprised. “You can be your real size here. And your final form, I thought that’s what you wanted to show me.”
Titan TV shook their head and went to take the TVman’s hand. Jeffrey held their hand gently, and turned it over, stroking the bare metal of their fingers. Touch here wasn’t an exact approximation of physical contact, it was perception of the other’s actions and intent causing sensory processing centres to react as if touched - somehow not quite the same thing, but almost. And it had been important for Titan TV to be a perfectly touchable size.
“This is fascinating to see up close,” Jeffrey said. “It’s easier for me to take it all in at this size - you wanted that, didn’t you? You’re…” His other hand lifted, but didn’t move any nearer. “I can’t believe you exist. We did it, we fucking pulled it off! Our own titan!”
Titan TV felt hot and excited inside, such honest and unfiltered admiration was so wonderful that it was almost too much to bear, when amplified by the new intimacy of being roughly the same size. They needed to look away for a moment to stay calm, and now they understood why other TVmen did it. “You can touch me,” they said.
“Yes, I would like to.” Jeffrey’s hand continued its path, up, over Titan TV’s core. He paused again, then stepped in close and pulled the smaller virtual presence in for a hug. “Might as well, might never get to do this again.”
Titan TV ignored that for the moment and just enjoyed the shared fantasy. They allowed Jeffrey to know how warm their frame was, how the heat flowed from their core through tubing and flexible skeins of wiring, how the slight vibrations of their own movements could be felt through their endoskeleton. In return, Jeffrey offered the sculptured solidness of his completed armour, feeling dull and inert in comparison to the titan’s power.
“No, no,” Titan TV insisted. “You’re powerful too, you’re so strong.” They turned their head so they could lay the flat side on Jeff’s shoulder. “All of my TVmen are perfect.”
“I hope I can be.” Jeffrey carefully curled his grappling claws around the titan’s body, trying to express how he wanted it to feel to have the exposed endoskeleton stroked by the smooth surface of his tentacles. Maybe in real life it would be uncomfortable and confusing to sensors designed to work under armour, here it could be comfortable. Titan TV hummed and leaned in to Jeffrey’s body, the soft loops of wires and tubes wreathing their frame compressing against Jeff’s plating. Silently, the TVman sat and guided the titan down with him, so they could lounge against each other like great predatory beasts. The edges of the simulation began to blur, until the two were drifting in cloudy grey, their own illusory savannah. The more Jeff gently petted the multiple textures of the titan’s body, the more their surroundings faded.
“You’re running the instance on yourself, aren’t you?” Jeffrey murmured, looking around in wonder. “That’s what you wanted to show me.”
“Mhm. I can make scenery again if you want it.” The titan rolled over to lie on their side and look up at Jeffrey’s screen expectantly. They wanted to see their friend’s body language, and they wanted more. More connection, more of the outside world. “You’ve got something to tell me too. You have a mission?”
Jeffrey let out a quiet, resigned hum, and reached out to touch the underside of the titan’s screen, the only finished part of them. “I do. I don’t want scenery, but I do want to see what you’ll look like when you’re done. Just in case.”
“Just in… case?” Titan TV asked, sadly, no longer able to ignore that the war wasn’t leaving their faction untouched, the enemy wasn’t politely waiting for them to make their grand entrance. “No, you’ll see me when you’re back.”
“Please.” Jeffrey trailed his hand down, cupping it over the glowing hole in the titan’s chest. The metaphors applied to the human heart felt applicable to their core too. Jeffrey wanted to touch emotions, inside. Titan TV made a low rumble, an electronic sigh, and de-materialised their virtual form in a cloud of black pixels. Concealed under the mock teleportation, Titan TV constructed their mental image of their eventual shell, the clothing they’d wear over it and the equipment they’d wear on their back. They’d worn it all, briefly, in simulations, but somehow this made it real in a way that helped them solidify their completed body in their mind, visualising what it would be like to inhabit it in a far more intimate way than the previous dry and functional training.
Jeffrey’s hand trembled, and Titan TV took it and gave it a reassuring squeeze. The titan sat up and gently pulled the TVman towards them, into another hug. In a few minutes, Jeff would be able to see all he wanted, right now, touch was enough. He bumped the side of his screen against the titan’s, and said, “I’ll always be with you, in a way.”
---
It was important that nothing disturbed the titan’s development. At this stage, dependent and sensitive, all it should do was grow, learn, and bond with the faction. The titan TVman needed to be conditioned to respond with absolute trust to their fellow TVmen, and part of that process was ensuring that every interaction ended pleasantly. It was essential they didn’t learn to expect to lose their friends, or develop a fear of teleportation.
On the night that it was clear Jeffrey was no longer returning, Polycephaly spent longer than his scheduled time in the hangar. He subtly broke the rules. “What would you say to me if someone I loved very much had gone away for a while?”
“Oh, this is a new socialisation game,” Titan TV said. “I would say - that must be hard, can I do anything to support you?”
“That works. You can hold me.”
Titan TV gently curled skeletal fingers around Polycephaly’s body. He was properly decontaminated, they were allowed to be in physical contact. “You just wanted to ask for this, didn’t you? That’s not what I’d say next, though.”
Polycephaly rubbed the side of his screen against a finger-joint and pulled one finger around his chest a little more. The warmth and pulsing of the bare mechanisms surrounding him was soothing, and it felt very special to spend time with this unarmoured, soft creature before it had to become hardened to face the real world. “You’ll be a good titan, I know you’re going to look after us.”
Titan TV’s little purr made their hand, and the floor, vibrate. “Jeffrey’s doing some kind of mission, isn’t he? I don’t need to know the details. I just need to know if - when - he makes it back.”
“Not yet. I’ll explain when you’re ready.” Variations of this exact phrase must have been said to the titan many times throughout their development, and Polycephaly braced himself for the inevitable grumbling. He hadn’t braced himself for movement, and grabbed the flexible, rubbery tubing running through Titan TV’s palm when it moved.
When Titan TV spoke, their voice was quiet. Their grip was loose as they held Polycephaly up, near their screen. “I have the entirety of human history in here. I have over a hundred billon deaths, millions of wars...”
“That doesn’t matter. You didn’t experience any of it.” Polycephaly had to interrupt, but he matched the titan’s low volume. He didn’t know if anyone had this conversation yet, if the scientist or the matriarch had explained their reasons for withholding information from a mind that could hold Earth’s surviving digital archives. His audio was crackling, he had to push the titan’s fingers away to sit in their palm and confront their screen, a landscape of static dots as far as he could see. Knowledge didn’t equal understanding, the titan couldn’t possibly understand his loss. “Whatever you experience now will keep coming back over and over again. It’ll sit in your head and weigh down your perceptions. We need you to be confident and assured, not… suicidally self-sacrificing or completely mad.”
Maybe if the conversation had involved transmission, as was common when emotional subtlety was needed, Polycephaly would have felt Titan TV’s immediate reaction. But that was yet another restriction, not to be used unless the titan initiated it first. The static gave nothing away, as impossibly vast as history. The titan was built to do the work of armies. Did a mind that different have capacity to understand a personal loss?
Titan TV’s voice seemed to come from everywhere. “Until I’m out of here, you’re all I can experience of the world. I don’t want my world to get smaller.”
Polycephaly pulled gently at the wiring leading to the titan’s thumb, and they folded their thumb over, in position for the large TVman to give the smooth, rounded fingertip a reassuring pat. “Jeffrey’s making the world bigger.”