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As she watched the snow pick up, Mello had to concede that Near was right.
Near had suggested they leave McKeldin half an hour ago. If Mello had listened to her, then she’d be getting home right about now, getting ready to heat up some milk for hot cocoa.
Instead, she was still in the library, far too close to Near for comfort, as the flakes bulked up.
Maryland didn’t get snowstorms. Maryland got a couple of flurries in January on a cold year. Snowstorms were for states with ski slopes. Snowstorms were for other places.
And yet, somehow, the snow sure was storming in.
Mello should have left. Mello should have gotten up to make the trek across campus back to her car. But instead she simply sat and watched as campus turned into a snowglobe.
She imagined picking it up and shaking it. Rattling around all the students trudging through the snow, fucking up the perpetual construction even worse. Maybe at the right angle she’d be able to launch herself all the way over to the parking lot.
Mello did not want to concede defeat to the weather. Admitting that Near had been right was bad enough, but admitting that she was weaker than a force of nature was worse.
Mello had been number one at her high school for all four years, and she was very protective of this title. Mello was always the best. Mello wasn't the type of woman to get defeated by a mere natural phenomenon.
Mello and Near’s phones buzzed in tandem. ALERT: Due to inclement weather, the University will be closing at 4pm. See email for details.
It was 3:45.
“Well, do you want to meet up again tomorrow?” Near shut her laptop.
“We still have 15 minutes.”
“I don’t want to get stuck here and I don’t want you to, either. Let’s go.”
So reluctantly, Mello followed her out.
What she hadn’t noticed through the window was how windy it was. The flakes that had appeared to drift peacefully along were now being blasted directly in her face.
“Well, see you tomorrow.” She gathered her coat and began to head towards Campus Drive.
“Wait,” Near called. “Are you going to be able to drive in this?”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure?
“Yeah, it’ll probably lighten up soon anyway. We never get blizzards here.”
She recalled Near was from the Midwest – she was probably used to huge storms that just didn’t happen in Maryland. Of course she’d be worried. But Mello had lived here for ten years. She knew better.
“See you tomorrow.” She turned and walked off. Ten minutes to her car and then twenty minutes home – no, probably thirty with the snow. Already no one knew how to drive for shit around here, and they’d all be way too scared of the flurries. She groaned, imagining the slow crawl down the Beltway that awaited her.
A cold gust whipped her in the face. She cursed and drew her hood tighter. Winter wind felt like knives on her skin.
All of a sudden, the sky opened up. The benign flurries were suddenly overtaken by an avalanche of hail, and Mello yelped when a smaller piece landed on her head.
A smaller hand closed around her wrist, and she whirled around to see Near staring wide eyed up at her. This time, she didn’t protest as Near tugged her along.
…
The first thing Mello noticed about Wicomico hall was the heat. As soon as Near opened the door, the hot air slammed into both of them. Under her multiple layers of down and leather, Mello felt like a crab being boiled.
Near lived on the first floor, so it wasn’t a long walk, but Mello already felt like she was being slow cooked in her own sweat. With every step, Mello felt more and more glad that she’d decided to live with Matt instead of in one of these hellholes.
Her first impression of Near’s room was that it looked like a glorified closet. She couldn’t imagine being confined to a space this small day in and day out – no wonder the other freshmen tended to spend so much time in the library.
Her second impression was that Near was a fucking nerd. She knew that already from the stickers all over her laptop and cane and water bottle, and the collection of toys she constantly fiddled with in class. But Near’s room seemed to be a Transformers shrine first and foremost.
Her sheets were messy, and Mello took a vague satisfaction knowing that Near also didn’t make her bed, but she could make out the vague shapes of robots. Her walls were full of Transformers posters. Her desk was occupied primarily by a large LCD TV, but its perimeter was marked by figurines.
“Please take your shoes off.” Near slipped out of her crocs and laid them by the door. Mello bent to unlace her boots, backpack sliding around awkwardly. When she stood up, she saw Near was taking off her hoodie. Her shirt rode up a little, and Mello looked away from the exposed small of her back.
Mello took off her backpack, still sweltering. Near’s bag, she saw, was stowed neatly under her desk. She held her bag by the straps, feeling the heft of it in her hands.
“You can put that anywhere that’s not by the window.”
So Mello set her bag down next to Near’s dresser. Finally, she shrugged out of her coat. Near took it to hang up, so she unzipped her leather jacket as well. Near reached out, probably expecting her to take it off. She shook her head.
The logical part of her brain knew that leather was not a suitable material for a building with the furnace cranked all the way up. It was thin, but still not particularly breathable. She hoped that the snow would stop before she overheated.
Near smoothed out her blankets, evening out the mosaic of robots. She plopped down on the floor, right below the window. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”
Mello evaluated her seating options. There was a chair pushed in against Near’s desk. From the utter lack of workable space, Mello doubted she actually ever used that chair. Typically, a chair would be the most normal place to sit. But Near was on the floor, and it would feel odd to have to look down on her.
She could join Near on the floor. The floor did not look particularly comfortable; it was hard underneath her socks, but Near didn’t seem to mind. She noticed that under Near’s desk next to where she sat there was a clipboard – perhaps this how Near got her assignments done at home?
The last option was Near’s bed. Presumably, her smoothing out of the sheets was meant to indicate this as an available option, but it felt too intimate.
She glanced at the window above Near’s head. The hail seemed to be dying down, but she had no idea how long this reprieve would last.
“You can sit on the chair or the bed. I don’t mind.”
So Mello tugged the chair out from the desk and sat down. It squeaked. “So, uh, should we keep working? Since we’re gonna have some time.”
Near shrugged. “Sure.” She reached towards Mello’s feet and grabbed a remote from under the desk. The TV clicked on and blasted her retinas with brilliant blue light. She scooted back, chair squeaking as it traveled, and watched as Near’s laptop display sprouted onto the screen.
Near was kneeling before a keyboard and mouse. Mello watched as she navigated to Firefox. She was craning back her neck to see the screen, and Mello felt a sympathetic pang in her neck.
Her eyes flickered over the other elements visible on her screen. It felt a little invasive, but surely if Near didn’t want her to see she wouldn’t have blown it up huge like that. She observed that Near had so many tabs open that only the tiny icons of each website were visible. At least ten of the tabs were Archive of Our Own.
Mello didn’t ask.
Then she noticed something else. “Wait – is that Pixel Cat’s End?”
Near clicked on the tab. “Yeah, it is!”
Huh. Mello had never met anyone else who played it before.
Near pulled up her custom cat: a lynx point longhair null. How basic. She would’ve thought someone as smart as Near could have made something more special.
Mello’s custom was a super cool black watercolor with rosettes. Aer name was Darkness and ae was rebellious. Mello had checked guides before statting aer up and ae would make a perfect thief.
She opened her mouth, ready to tell Near how basic and stupid her choices were. But when she looked down at Near, she saw her wide eyes and sweet smile, and she noticed that the cat’s name was Near as well.
“She looks like you.”
Stupid Mello. Of course she looked like Near.
“Yeah! I thought it would be cool if I was a cat. I didn’t know everyone else also wanted their cats to look like me, too.”
Near clicked around her village. Her cats were neatly organized in gradients based on the color of their fur, and all had cute, coordinated outfits. Her scenery, unsurprisingly, was full of toys. Near-cat sat atop a pile of plushies, clay figures, dice, and cards.
“What about your cats?”
Mello shared her username, and Near sent her a quick friend request before visiting her village. Mello suddenly felt inadequate – no one else even knew she played this game, and now she felt very open and on display. Her cats were haphazardly strewn about, most were undressed, and she didn’t even use scenery.
She watched Near twirl her hair as her eyes moved between the pixels. “You like chocolate a lot, don’t you?”
“Yeah…”
Before she knew it, the two of them were deep in a discussion of the game, which of course led to Warrior Cats, which led to the violence in children’s books, which led to Animorphs, which led to something else that led to something else until Mello was complaining about the rise of faux leather without even knowing how she got there.
“It’s all just fancy plastic,” she was saying. Somewhere along the way she’d stood up and started walking around, while Near stared up at her from the floor. “And it’ll fall apart and go in the ocean and kill sea turtles or something.”
“That’s bad,” Near agreed. “I like sea turtles.”
“Right! And they think they’re saving cows but they’re really just — wait, what the fuck?”
It was dark outside. How was it dark outside? They were well past the solstice; sunset shouldn’t be till almost 6pm.
She looked at her phone. It was, in fact, 6pm, and her phone was full of texts from Matt.
“Oh, fuck, I’m going to get a ticket.”
Near stared up at her. “You can’t drive home in this. What if you get stuck on the road?”
“I won’t get stuck.” She headed towards the door, shooting off a quick reply to Matt. She was perfectly fine driving, even in the snow. She’d never once gotten into an accident or gotten a speeding ticket, ever.
“I’m not sure about that. Look at the traffic.”
She turned to see a map large on Near’s screen, with both the Beltway and University all blocked up. Ugh. She hated sitting in traffic.
“It looks like there were some bad accidents out there. Please don’t be reckless.”
“I’m not being reckless, I just don’t want to get charged out the ass again.”
“I’ll pay for your ticket.”
“What?”
“I said, I’ll pay for your ticket. It’s not safe to go home.”
“Why do you even care so much?”
“Isn’t it normal to care about a friend?”
Friends? Near thought they were friends? Mello considered her small, folded form. They’d barely spoken outside of their frequent disagreements in class. Mello knew she was brash and blunt and made others uncomfortable. She’d assumed Near had invited her over out of pity. Did Near actually like her?
Near blinked, which was somehow more unsettling than her stare. “Did I misunderstand your question?”
“No! No, I mean, um. Yeah, yeah it’s normal, but, um –” She stumbled for the right words. Ugh, she hated when she got all flustered like this. She was supposed to be quick and sharp and witty, not all stuttery.
“I was under the impression that you considered me a friend. Was I incorrect?”
What was Near to Mello? The first word that came to her was rival. Near was her enemy, Near was always stealing her answers out of her mouth in class or poking holes in her arguments. Near was infuriatingly perfect, and everything she did seemed designed to outshine her.
And yet. Near had invited Mello in from the cold, and Near had shown off her cats, and Near thought Mello’s cats were cool too, and Mello realized with a start that she’d actually enjoyed the past two hours quite a lot.
“No,” she answered, finally. “We’re definitely friends.”
Near smiled again, with that impish little smirk that curled hard at the ends. “So, my friend Mello, it looks like we’re going to have a sleepover!”
Mello hadn’t had a sleepover in a long time — not since before she came to Maryland. The other girls had smelled something on her that kept them away. She wasn’t sure if it was her brashness or her accent (nearly gone, by now) or the unmistakable aura of lesbianism, even before they knew all the words to call her. No one wanted to have the weird girl over, especially not to stay overnight.
She wondered what Near was like as a kid. She wondered when her last sleepover was. She had always regarded Near as a being who had spawned into existence just to stymie her personally, but now it occurred to her that Near was a person with a history, just like her.
“Yeah,” she said. “We get to have a sleepover.”
Mello’s stomach grumbled, and she realized abruptly that it had been several hours since she’d last eaten something more substantial than chocolate. And she hadn’t been nibbling on her snacks as usual, nervous about sullying Near’s floors and nervous to ask permission.
She looked out the window. It was pretty dark, but by the streetlights she could see that the streets looked hopelessly blanketed in white. STAMP wasn’t far, but the trek looked impassable, and chances were they’d closed it altogether for the weather. She had no idea where the other dining halls were; they’d simply never been relevant to her before.
Near was opening up one of her drawers. “Do you like soup?”
“Huh?”
Near held up some cans. “Chikorina? Chicken noodle? Tomato? Or I have instant ramen, too, but that’s not as filling.”
Mello looked around the room. It notably lacked a microwave or any sort of cooking surface. She hadn’t noticed any type of kitchen area on the way in.
“Halle has a microwave,” Near explained. “She lets me come over and use it all the time.”
Mello slotted this tidbit into her mental mosaic of all things Near. She’d chatted with Halle a bit before, which had culminated in a dinner at Marathon where Mello had respectfully looked away every time Halle leaned low over her gyro and her shirt opened up. After the fact, she’d realized that maybe she wasn’t supposed to be respectfully looking away, and at that point she decided that if Halle ever spoke to her again she might just have to crash her car, light it on fire, and fake her own death.
Which was a possibility now alarmingly close.
But wait. Speaking of fire. There was a bigger issue at hand.
“You… microwave the cans?” Mello had learned at a young age that metal and microwaves did not mix. She had the marks to show for it.
Near produced a pair of large plastic bowls. Oh.
“Uh, I’ll have chicken noodle then.”
Near beamed and gathered the two cans up in her arms. “Okay, Halle is just down the hall. Can you bring the bowls?”
Mello gulped. She felt deeply certain that entering Halle’s room could only bring her doom and despair. But she couldn’t explain this to Near without also admitting to her transgressions of social failure. Perhaps with Near as a barrier, everything would be okay. She could only hope for the best.
Near slipped back into her crocs and waited by the door. Mello had nothing so convenient, and so she had to kneel and slide her feet into her boots. Then she followed Near down the hall.
She counted the tiles in the carpet as they walked, trying not to think about what would happen when she saw Halle face to face again. She’d successfully managed to avoid making eye contact with her ever since the Marathon incident and she thought she was doing a good job of acting extremely normal. Maybe if she acted super super normal then Halle would forget that Mello had ever slighted her at all.
Halle answered the door looking very different from how she had that night. At their dinner, she’d worn a thin, form fitting shirt with a thin cardigan over it and crisp, unwrinkled pants. Now she was wearing an oversized T-shirt and gym shorts. Mello desperately tried to figure out the safest place to look.
“Hi, Near. Soup again?”
“Yep!”
Halle ushered Near inside and then glanced up at Mello.
This was it. This was the end of Mello’s burgeoning friendship with Near. This was the moment that Near would find out Mello was just a pathetic loser and then she’d probably kick her out and she’d have to make the trek back to her car after all and fall asleep buried in a snowbank and then maybe she’d get attacked by a moose or something since that seemed like the kind of thing that would happen when it was super cold and snowy outside.
“Oh, hey Mello! It’s been a while.”
Never mind. Mello was going to take control of the situation. Mello was cool and calm and collected and she would show Halle that when she’d ignored her before it was totally on purpose and she totally meant to do that. Her brain raced to come up with the perfect cool and calm response.
“Yeah!” Her voice squeaked, embarrassingly.
“Mello and I were working together when the storm hit, and now she’s stuck here till the roads clear up. The bowls, please?”
Halle nodded, glancing out the window. “Yeah, it’s been a while since we had a storm like this. Hope you don’t get a ticket.”
“Yeah.”
Mello tried to analyze Halle’s body language as subtly as she could. Her posture was relaxed, her arms were open, she wasn’t staring at Mello but rather watching as the bowls of soup spun around. Her microwave was perched atop her mini fridge, which was adorned with word magnets.
All in all, Halle did not seem at all disturbed by Mello’s presence. That was strange.
Maybe Mello didn’t have to fake her death after all.
The microwave beeped, and Near retrieved the second bowl of soup. She handed Mello a potholder covered in a domino pattern and then gently lay the soup in her hands. The noodles and carrots and celery wobbled around below the saran wrap.
“Thanks, Halle.”
“Of course!” As the two left her room, she added, “Have a nice night, you two!”
The soup was actually quite good in the microwave. Mello had only ever made it on the stove, but she got so impatient waiting for it to heat up. She made a note to look into this in detail later.
So Halle didn’t hate Mello, and Near liked Mello, and Mello actually liked Near also. She was learning all kinds of new things today.
“What do you want to do now? I have cards, games, jigsaw puzzles, or we could always just sit here and stare at each other.”
Mello did not think sitting and staring at each other was the best course of action. “What games do you have?”
Near pulled out a drawer and began to hold up boxes. “Scrabble, Clue, Chess – ooh, I forgot I had Mancala! – Guess Who, Monopoly –”
Oh. “All board games?”
“I have Jenga! That’s more of a 3D game.”
“No, like, video games? Minecraft?” Mello thought of Matt’s castle in the living room.
“Oh, no, I only play browser games.”
Mello had never had the patience for board games. The chess club had tried to recruit her more than once, but she couldn’t handle just sitting there and waiting an eternity for her opponent to make a move. She had one strategy: get the pawn to the last rank to turn it into a queen. She had never once succeeded.
“We could play cards instead!” Near held up a Transformers themed deck. “Do you know Spit?”
“Uh.”
“Don’t worry, there’s no saliva involved.” Near winked. “Unless you want there to be.”
Mello fought to keep a straight face as she gaped at Near. What was that supposed to mean?
“Um,” Mello said in an extremely normal, casual, measured tone that belied absolutely none of her complex feelings. “No, I don’t know that game.”
“You’ll love it! It goes really fast so you won’t get bored.”
As it turned out, Near was right. Mello quickly caught on, and soon she and Near were practically slapping each other's hands as they played their cards. There were a couple times that their fingers scraped past each other and it sent a shiver up her spine. Because of the adrenaline of the game. She had to win.
Suddenly, their game was interrupted by an alarm blaring from Near's phone. Mello blinked in shock: The time on the alarm was 9pm. How had the hours gone by so fast?
Near reached into her desk and pullled out a pill case, with ten compartments all labeled with Transformers stickers. She popped open the one labeled with a yellow and black robot and shook a couple of capsules into her hand. She gave no indications that this was meant to be private, so Mello continued watching as she swallowed most of them with a swig from her water bottle. She popped the last one into her mouth on its own and held it there, unswallowing.
Mello had never noticed how long Near's neck was until this very moment. It was long and perfectly neck shaped. That was stupid. Mello was smarter than this. Near had a completely normal and utterly unremarkable neck. Which looked like a neck. Because it was. The neck bobbed as the girl it belonged to swallowed once more and Mello decided not to unpack any of the last thirty seconds.
Near turned back to Mello. "I usually shower around this time."
"Oh. Okay. Do you want to, uh, do that? Now?"
"Yes." Near gripped the chair and pulled herself to her feet.
"I also shower at night. Usually. But, uh, I don't have any, soap or a towel…"
She was struck, suddenly, by the image of Near wrapping both of them up in one nice soft fluffy towel no doubt featuring some other robot.
"Here." Near tossed a pack of wet wipes over. "I use these when I run out of spoons."
Mello stared blankly at them as Near gathered up her soap and headed for the door. She wasn't disappointed. It would've been really awkward to have to use the hall shower.
Near paused. "Oh, and you can look in my dresser. My pajamas are in the bottom drawer. I hope they fit you okay."
And with that, she was gone, and Mello was alone in Near's bedroom.
She had never been alone in another woman's bedroom before. It felt weirdly intimate. The idea of looking through Near's dresser felt grossly invasive, but she had been given explicit permission. So she picked herself up and went to take a look.
Staring her dead in the eye was the largest dildo Mello had ever seen. It was monstrous. It was bizarre. It was gigantic. It had a knot. It had whorls. It had layers.
Mello slammed the drawer shut. She contemplated jumping out the window. But she was a mature adult, and so was Near, and this was not an issue, and she was going to stay calm and pretend she never saw anything.
Near must have mixed up her drawers. But she was, frankly, scared to look any further.
Bracing herself, she opened it again. Near had been right: her pajamas were nestled underneath the ginormous phallus. Mello searched the perimeter for clothes that didn't look like they had come into contact with the toy, and she managed to dig out a tank top and shorts that looked like they'd fit.
She wiped herself off as fast as she could and changed into Near's clothes. Near's clothes. She was wearing Near's clothes. This was normal and not a problem. Near had suggested this, in fact. It was fine.
She had no idea how long it would take Near to shower. She sat on the same chair as before and stared at her phone. Matt had sent her a thumbs up emoji when she said she was staying. She logged onto Pixel Cat's End and started up an adventure.
As her cats narrowly avoided being crushed by an avalanche, Near returned. She was bundled up in a soft white robe and had her hair all wrapped up on top of her head. Mello's hair had never been long enough do that, but she thought it looked cool.
Near dug into that same drawer to get her own pajamas. "Oh," she said, voice betraying no emotion. "I'm sorry. I forgot that was in there."
Mello said nothing. Near bent to put on her shorts, so Mello turned her back and shut her eyes.
Near returned to the floor and shuffled the cards. "More Spit? Or if you want a break, we could do something else."
Mello jumped to the floor to join her. "We can Spit some more! I was having fun, uh, spitting with you. Playing Spit."
Near smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Or we could try a different game. Have you ever played Egyptian Ratscrew?"
Now that sounded intriguing. Mello shook her head and listened to Near explain the rules. Any game where the six and nine cards going together had a special name did seem right up her alley.
The game moved fast, even faster than Spit. Near kept outslapping Mello, no matter how fast Mello thought she saw a combination. But after a few minutes, Mello started slapping back just as often.
It did not take long for the fabled six and nine pair made an appearance, and as Mello thrust her palm to the cards she felt her fingers make contact not with the cold cardstock but rather with something much warmer and softer. She jolted back in shock as soon as she registered what had happened.
Near grinned as she collected the cards. "You almost had me that time!"
Mello's brain was getting foggy. It was late, and she usually went to bed around 10, but the whole point of a sleepover was to avoid sleeping, or so she'd heard. It didn't matter that she had class tomorrow — in all likelihood she wouldn't, anyway, if the snow kept up. She was hanging out with Near, and so her priority was having fun. And also winning.
So she slapped harder, she slapped stronger, and she slapped much closer to her edge of the cards. Her pile was growing bigger and bigger, and she thought she might actually end up winning. Then when a pair of queens surfaced, Mello found her hand sandwiched tightly between the pink of the Queen of Hearts (Arcee, Near had explained) and the white of Near's small, slender hand.
Mello jerked her hand back, but it didn't move. She drew her gaze up to meet Near's. The towel had come off of Near's hair at some point, and her snow-white locks were tumbling around her shoulders.
"Oops. You beat me."
Mello had always thought Near's eyes were pitch black, but now she saw they were actually a very deep gray. She wondered, for a moment, how they'd look in the sun. Mello's own eyes were brown and she knew they lit up magnificently.
Near drew back her hand, and Mello fought a pang of disappointment. That was completely irrational. She took the cards, and gameplay resumed as usual.
Mello won. She expected to be happier about it. But as Near took the cards back to shuffle, she felt strange.
"Are you getting tired?"
Mello wasn't tired. Mello was still perfectly alert; this was how she had won the game. Mello's mind was clear and her felt perfectly in control. Mello was not tired at all. "No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I don't want to keep you up."
"I'm sure. I feel great. Let's play again."
The game proceeded without incident, without any hand sandwiches. Mello wasn't disappointed. Such incidents would only slow down the game, and the most important goal right now was to win as many cards as possible as fast as she could. Which was tricky, because Near had slapped out the last ten combinations.
Near paused with her hand above the last pair. "We should stop after this game."
Mello blinked, which was really easy, because her eyelids weren't heavy. "Why? Scared you're gonna keep losing?"
Near mercifully did not comment on the large differential in their stacks, nor on who the difference favored. "Yes. That's exactly why." She resumed play before Mello could come up with a suitably witty response.
By the end, the cards in Mello's hand were starting to blur together. She blinked, willing the two Optimus Primes to turn back into one. Near slapped Optimus as soon as he met her Megatron, and that was that.
Near drew back the blankets. "Left or right side?"
Mello's thoughts screeched to a halt. She stared blankly at the bed, which was twin sized, and in no way meant to fit two. Near was small, but she wasn't that small.
She said, eloquently, "Uh."
"Take the left side. I'd feel bad if you fell out."
So Mello obeyed and pressed herself as tightly to the wall as she could. Near followed, seeming significantly less concerned. She fumbled for her plush Starscream and didn't seem to care at all when she grazed Mello's hip.
Mello shut her eyes, trying to quiet her racing heart. She replayed the events of the evening, still trying to make sense of it all. She and Near were friends. She and Near had had lots of fun together. She had really enjoyed Near's presence.
And tomorrow, there was no class. Tomorrow, she'd wake up at Near's side, and they'd have even more time together. Her heart fluttered at the thought.
Near murmured beside her, pulling her Starscream close. Mello traced the warmth of the other girl's legs alongside her own. The bed was small, but she found she didn't mind.
And before she knew it, she had drifted off to sleep.