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"It's- I never thought one day I'd say something like that but...it's sunny outside my Dear, why don't we go out for a walk? Or shopping?" Mr Addams' face contorted in a painful grimace at those words, his wife could clearly see the effort he was putting into his never ending attempts at coaxing you out of your catatonic state -not that that wasn't a good look, mind you! But it was starting to stick and it just wouldn't do!- from her seat on the couch next to you.
He looked on the verge of despair, after all, it was yet another proposal bypassed by you but hope bloomed on both their faces as you opened your mouth, just to be smashed away as you closed it suddenly, looking absently forward into nothingness.
"Oh, come on! My Dear, say something! Anything!"
"I-"
"Oh, Gomez!" were Morticia's uttered, incredulous, words at your single, breathed out pronoun.
You could feel her hands grip your shoulders as Mr Addams eyes bulged out of his head looking intently and amazed at you.
"Yes!?" his face dangerously close to yours now...not that you cared, really...
"I didn't want to leave"
"Oh, we know Dearest!" said Mrs Addams, cooing at you, making you lean against her: your head upon her shoulder.
"I swear I'll do anything" the man pleaded "buy you anything! Whatever you want! Hell! I'll even buy that company if I have to! Then they will see..."
Tears were starting to burst from your eyes -not of happiness, no- you were sure it was not a nice view but couldn't care less, at the moment, nothing really mattered.
"No, no, no! None of that! We're going out!"
Mrs Addams opened her mouth to protest, ready to object, but Gomez' mind was set already: "It's the perfect opportunity to use that exquisite gothic umbrella you purchased back at that antiques market, near that old haunted house: sun's rays'll have no chance! Plus I'm sure They will enjoy a ride with Lurch and a nice walk...in the park" he took a deep breath and then, as an afterthought, he added in a small voice "We'll talk about buying that company later..."
It hadn't been long since the Addams had come knocking on your door, straight faced and hell bent on forcefully taking you on a family trip with them...no, it really hadn't been that long...
7 months earlier
It was a completely normal day.
You woke, the sun high in the morning, birds chirping happily. You opened your bedroom window to wave at your father, joyfully gardening among his colorful flowers; the sweet smell of your mother's bakery giving you the usual 'good morning' as you swiftly got dressed: lot to do this morning!
A completely normal morning.
I'll have to get a move and keep going if I want to clean up the apartment upstairs!
Yes, lot to do this morning, a completely, sunny, happy and normal-
Din-don!
-morning!
"Who the Hell- I'll go mum! Don't worry!" you hurriedly said since she was in the middle of balancing two pots on one arm while stirring something inside another bowl and she gratefully accepted your offer.
But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared you for what awaited beyond the closed door.
As if all happiness had been suddenly sucked out of existence, a thunder rumbled in the distance and a lightning followed close behind, severing a branch from one of your father's beloved trees (you were sure you heard him swear!).
Oh-oh! But... it will still be a normal day if I don't open the door- but father's outside! Damn!
You took a deep breath and sent a prayer to the Almighty, then put a hand on the handle and opened the door: alas... ah, well, at least I tried...
"Y/n, my Dear! Long time no see!"
And yes, you couldn't really say you were not happy to see them but, no, you didn't warn your parents, how could you!? You didn't even know they were... passing by?
"M-Mr Addams! What a surprise!"
A surprise indeed! How would your parents react? And, most importantly... where the Hell should I put them!?
"I didn't know you were coming!"
"Dearest" he said, smiling like a fool while his wife made little Pubert bounce lightly up her hip and the rest of his family was looking at you expectantly "what a sunny place you live in!"
"To many flowers..." supplied Wednesday with a murderous look in her eyes, but, as yours nearly bulged out of their sockets thinking at what the little girl could do and the little heart attack your father could have, Mrs Addams quickly interjected with: "Oh, don't you worry, Darling! I've already warned them: no funny business!"
But, strangely, you were not reassured!
Gulping, you tried to quell your anxiety and of course it was useless but you tried your best nonetheless.
"T-to what do I own the plea- displeasure?" and as one, all of the family members -except Wednesday- smiled at you.
"My Dear, we haven't seen you in months" said Mrs Addams with a melancholy timbre.
"So we were thinking" his husband resumed "since my brot-" but was rudely interrupted by none other than Fester himself.
"Oh! Oh, can I tell Them!? Can I? Can I?" so, when Gomez agreed, exchanging a knowing and all too familiar smile with you, one that was clearly saying: 'my brother, you know?', you prepared for a mess of a choral conversation.
"So!" Fester started, his bald head shining "We're here because we want to go on a trip!"
"Mmh mmh" Grandmama cleared her voice, pointedly.
"OH! Yes, and because... here! Take this!" he handed you a dark envelope, one that reminded you of something...
"We wanted to give it to you in person this time" whispered Pugsley, bringing a hand in front of his mouth.
"Dementia and I... ARE GETTING MARRIED!"
"Little What can already do without his nanny" supplied Morticia at your frown and you inclined your head in acceptance as you smiled at Fester.
"So we passed by to take you away with us! A little family trip before the ceremony!"
"Of course" Mr Addams took over the conversation once again "we don't want to abuse of your humble mansion and hospitality! So it will be just a couple of days counting this one!"
And you blinked as a myriad of thoughts passed through your head, one worst than the other. You could hear steps coming from behind you and from outside just as Mr Addams said: "Aaand we brought money for the trouble!" and Lurch opened a suitcase full of gold.
"Honey, who's at the... door...? Oh, my!"
And your father, who came rushing, screaming: "What the freaking Hell is a damn LION doing in MY garden!?" just gasped at all the shiny coins and nearly passed out.
"No mattress" Morticia said, arching her eyebrow.
"Dusty" squeaked 'Mama.
Admittedly, it has taken a good amount of time to explain -and convince- your parents that, deep down, the Addams were only very very strange, not dangerous. Not that you've never told your parents anything about them but... well, let's just say that they've never... met!
"Scarce and broken furniture" Wednesday added.
"Gruuuuh" Lurch liked it, it seemed.
Your parents were not sure about your idea of using the unfurnished and dusty apartment but: first, you knew the Addams, second, as your father said 'They unleashed a lion in my garden, so it's fine by me!'.
"Chilly" Pugsley and uncle Fester said at the same time, grinning at each other.
"In other words" Mr Addams smiled seemingly very satisfied as he turned your way "perfect!"
"Car?"
You shrugged.
"Train?"
"Whatever"
"Plane"
"Mrs Addams" you huffed "it doesn't matter which means of transport you'll choose. You know very well it'll still be torture for me"
A little, tiny pause followed your words before Morticia clapped her hands once saying "Marvelous!" and you decided it was time to find Pugsley and go feed Kitty before he destroyed your father's garden completely.
But of course, you should have imagined that the lion would have been the last of your problems in that regard!
As you opened the door, Pugsley dragging down the stairs a trunk full of meat in tow, you immediately noticed not one, neither two but THREE things !
First thing first, Kitty was sharpening his nails on the burned tree in the middle of the garden (and it sounded like that lightning would not be the last, judging by the progressively darkening sky), second thing, Mr Addams was apparently trying to convince your father that the deadly concoction Lurch used at the mansion on the plants could do miracles and third... LURCH WAS JUST ABOUT TO USE THAT DEADLY CONCOCTION ON YOUR FATHER'S FLOWERS WHILE HE WAS STILL OTHERWISE ENGAGED WITH MR ADDAMS!
This WON'T happen! Because it can still be a pretty decent day if not normal!
But the moment you took the first step toward Lurch, hand raised and mouth open to shout, a sudden though hit you like a wall of bricks: you CANNOT go on any trip! No holidays for you! Nada! 'Cause you start working in a day!
At that, you really shouted a loud swear. Never has any of them heard a word like that escape your mouth so loudly.
Lurch turned toward you with a questioning grunt, Mr Addams and your father stopped their discussion to look at you, perplexed and Kitty too, stopped in his tracks.
A little part of your brain tried to tell you to consider that a victory, but you ignored it in order to march in Mr Addams direction, taking him by the sleeve and pulling him behind you.
"My... sorry my friend" he told your father "it seems we'll talk later" and with a big smile and cigar in hand, he let himself be taken away.
"Gomez!" it seemed Mrs Addams was pleased by what she was seeing as you were literally dragging her husband, none too gently up the stairs and pushing him through the door; he, of course, did not resist, instead raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.
"Mrs Addams, Mr Addams" you quickly shouted: "FESTER!" and as fast as lightning he came running with a light-bulb in his mouth. You really didn't want to know what he was doing and where...
You took a deep breath. It was no easy feat what you were about to do.
"I have to tell you something"
-You could hear your father shouting in the background, a lion roaring and... no, you really didn't want to know and you tried not to pay attention to it-
"I-I'm so sorry but-" they all were watching you intently now. Breath: in, out.
"I cannotgowithyou"
There! It was out!
They blinked: first Morticia, Gomez, then Fester... you were not sure they understood and you were preparing yourself to repeat more slowly but-
"WHAT!?"
It seemed it wasn't necessary.
You turned around quickly at the squeaky sound, exhaling: "Pugsley..." but his sister interrupted.
"Why not?"
And the tone was glacial.
"Yeeah, why not!? We've even left Thing home to control that Ocho and Zombie-Debbie would not destroy the house!"
You gulped, throat suddenly dry; even 'Mama had come to stand right behind the children with little Pubert in her arms.
Breath. All those murderous looks means nothing directed at you. Breath.
"I-" a gulp again "I have wo- I got a job. Just found. I start tomorrow"
It hadn't been easy to avoid Lurch who, thanks to Mr Addams, was under the impression that you had to forcibly get in the car and driven to work.
He was such a big guy but once you firmly said: "Down, Lurch! Put me back down!" he complied like a chastised dog, watching sadly as you started walking in the direction of the bus stop.
You didn't want them to find out where you worked, that's why you didn't tell them. Can you immagine if they- No! It won't happen! End of the story.
You were fidgeting in your seat, thinking about how your first job will be -not that you didn't know what to expect, mind you- but you were nervous.
When you arrived, after the prep they gave you, a uniform was handed to you and, yes, you've never been more happy to start being exploited for money!
It was going well, all fine and dandy, so much so that you could even ignore the annoyance caused by costumers and their stupidity.
You liked the job so far: your colleagues were nice, you could move freely from ward to ward and you actually enjoyed tidy up the cabins and reposition clothes and objects in their aisle.
The clients...you were really trying not to think about them.
It was nearing the last hour of your shift when the murmur among your colleagues started: a chorus of "Have you seen!?" and "Weird" whispered from ear to ear got you on the edge.
It couldn't be.
Please you prayed do not let it be them!
You ventured a look at the center aisle of the big store and, alas, of course it was-
"Addams" you nearly spat between your teeth.
You had to intercept them before they caused a mess!
Morticia, Gomez and Fester: among the three of them, Morticia was the easiest to manage. She would surely take your part!
When you saw Gomez stop one of your senior colleagues, your legs shot forward with, mind you, a discreet speed.
"My good man!" Mr Addams started "I'd love to talk to your sup-"
"Good afternoon!" you interrupted and before Gomez, a big smile planted on his face, could say anything else, you gripped the arm of your colleague with a solid grip saying "Excuse us for a minute!" turned the both of you around and put a decent distance between you and the Addams.
Your colleague looked visibly confused.
"Y/n...? What-"
You took a big breath and said "I'm sorry! Please, let me deal with them"
His eyes widened and laughing he asked an incredulous "WHAT!? Why? I mean...are you sure?"
You nodded saying "I know what they want"
"How?"
"Easy" you smiled "as any other client" and you both peeked at them above your shoulders "they want my time"
"That's the spirit! They're all yours!"
"Thank you!" you said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"No" he smirked looking at the three standing figures, waiting patiently and ignoring all the weird looks coming their way "Thank you" . And he left.
"Well" you started approaching Mr Addams "What can I do for you?"
"My Dear! How about-"
"Walk with me and be quiet!" you interrupted with pure murder in your eyes.
"Mmmh Gomez!" Mrs Addams started as Fester expression morphed from smiling to scared in a second "I'd do what They say"
And slowly walking to you she whispered "That murderous look becomes you, my Dear"
You huffed and turned with all three in tow, obediently following.
"Listen, I know that you" and turned a piercing look to Mr Addams "want me to come with you and you surely are here to ask days off form me" Gomez looked just a little bit repentant...but not that much, while Fester, well, Fester was smiling from ear to ear.
Rolling your eyes, you resumed "But! I've just started! I cannot very well ask so soon. Instead!" you nearly shouted when both brothers opened their mouths to interject "I'll tell you what we'll do"
And Mrs Addams smiled sweetly down at you, she knew you'd find a solution.
"I know it's not much and if we want to get on a big family trip we'll have to posticipate...but I can give you a range of three days to work with"
And Gomez looked pensive now, hand on his chin with an unlit cigar.
"I can ask for three days. This I can do. Again, I'm sorry I'm crushing your plans and you know...Wednesday told me where you want to go and I'd love nothing more than to visit the Pyramids!"
"We know, Dear" Morticia said.
"I cannot ask you to cancel your reservations, but maybe-"
"SAY NO MORE!" and you nearly jumped at Mr Addams shout "Three days uh? No need to cancel! We'll change them"
You frowned as a maniac grin bloomed on Fester face as he said: "Yes! Yes, brother! Three Pyramids, one for each day!"
Now was your turn to shout "WHAT? No! It's impossible!"
But Mrs Addams, exchanging a smile with her husband, only said "Don't you worry Darling, let us deal with it"
7 months later
"A nice stroll will do you good my Dear!" exclaimed Mr Addams while you were slowly walking under Morticia's little, black umbrella, arms linked.
"Come on! Breath this...fresh...air? Smell the pollen all around!"
"Look Mon Cher!" and Gomez turned to his wife so fast you worried he would fall "They have carnivorous plants in that greenhouse!"
At Morticia's words your head rose and, no more looking at the ground, your eyes , shining, darted to see where she was pointing.
They noted your change in demeanor of course, so a detour was mandatory.
Once inside, a heavy blanket of warm humidity oppressed you, making you sweat a little under your clothes but you didn't care. This time though, it wasn't for lack of interest, no, on the contrarie! 'For you'd noticed a big, long table covered with: "Orchids!"
At your word, Morticia gasped letting go of your arm as you darted towards the colorful and delicate flowers.
"Gomez!" Morticia whispered looking her husband dead in the eyes and finding reflected her same resolution.
"I swear! If I have to buy this entire greenhouse I'll do!"
Then, taking Mrs Addams hand, they approached the same plants you were admiring.
"There are too many! And look at their colors! They have more than simple Phalaenopsis! Look!"
"I think" said Mrs Addams at Gomez "these are more words than all the ones They said in a month"
"My Dear" ventured Mr Addams getting closer to you "is there a plant you like more than the others?"
And you just smiled at him. The first smile in a month!
"I don't know! I like 'em all!"
And that's how, at the end of the day, you found yourself closed in the 'plants nursery' of the Addams family' mansion, sorrounded by ten orchids, two carnivourous plants, five cactus and three begonias.
Oh well, at least you were sure the begonias won't die!
"Well, even if they didn't renew my contract -God, I loved that job!- and I'm gonna start a 'not real job' I hate in a week...I feel...fine. But you didn't have to buy me so many plants and wast all those money!"
"Ssh ssh! My money, my decision Y/n!"
Morticia, clearly as satisfied as Mr Addams, asked: "Unhappy, Darling?"
You thought about that for only a second before answering with: "Yes! Completely!"
"But my offer to buy the company still stands, mind you!"
"Oh, Mr Addams" you laughed "I'm sure you can better invest your possessions some other way"
And that said you proceeded to pass the entire day nursing plants with the help of Morticia and Wednesday, happy to lecture you about ferocious plants and their eating habits.