Work Text:
Rick Macy felt a mix of excitement and dread as he sat there enveloped in the darkness of his bedroom, waiting for the clock to change to the exact time he had been born. He looked at the area of his arm where the name of his soulmate was supposed to appear. Rick’s eyes darted back and forth between the digital clock on his nightstand and the bare stretch of skin on his forearm. As he waited for the minutes to change he wondered if his soulmate would be someone he already knew, or if it would be someone he had not met yet. There was not long left. Rick’s chest tightened at the thought of the name being that of a boy, he knew deep down it was the most likely outcome, but he was not ready to face the fact. In addition he couldn’t even begin to think of what excuses he would tell his parents. Rick had never come close to having the same feelings he had felt towards boys, towards any girl. In a way it would be a relief if it was a boy because it would settle it all once and for all, but then again it would be terrifying, and there was really only one boy he liked. His eyes connected with the time stamp of the clock, 02:14 am, the red glow that came from the time stamp threatening him, combined with the dingy light from his night lamp. His heart was hammering against his chest, he was certain he was about to throw up. He dared not look at the spot on his arm that should have been filled with a name by now, he guarded his arm close to his chest so he would not get an accidental glance at it. The cold dark room filled his body with goosebumps, making him wish he had been born on a warm summers day. But, he probably would’ve been surrounded by people then, which was less than ideal. Maybe it was for the best that he was enveloped by the comforting confines of the dark night, that way he could keep the name close to his chest. Rick inhaled deeply as he looked up at the ceiling and made sure to cover the spot with his other hand as he lowered his arm. Slowly he slid his hand down. He looked down. His heart froze. Then his heart thawed and began beating even more uncontrollably than it had been before.
Kieren, was the name on his skin. Kieren, was the name of his soulmate. Kieren Walker, was Rick’s best mate. Could Kieren truly be his soulmate? The sweet golden boy, golden hair and pale warm skin, warm brown eyes. Everything about Kieren Walker was warm and wonderful, he could light up any room, at least any room Rick found himself in. It was too good to be true. Every thought of dread relating to the gender of his soulmate had suddenly gone down the drain, and a new one had taken its place. What if it was another Kieren, what if it was not his Kieren, Rick thought halting the temporary ecstasy that was growing inside him. Every positive feeling, he had towards the name that was written on him in such a careful way dissipated. The feelings bled out of him, they had turned back to fear and dread.
How would he tell Kieren? Could he?
“I heard rumors about a birthday today, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you’re the birthday boy?” Kieren placed his hand gingerly on Rick’s shoulder, everything Kieren about him and everything he did had a softness to it.
“The rumors are indeed true,” Rick responded with a feigned smile.
“I think it might’ve even been your 18th birthday,” Kieren stated as he placed his hand on his chin as if in deep thought. In response Rick gave a curt nod.
«Which means you now know the name of your soulmate,” Kieren prompted. The hand that rested on his shoulder light like a feather, had turned heavy at the mention of soulmates.
He knew Kieren expected that Rick would tell him the name, which made sense, they were best mates after all. How on earth would he justify not telling Kieren the name of his soulmate, he didn’t want to lie to him, but he would probably have to.
“Yeah...” Rick sighed, before hastily adding, “It’s not someone we know so I don’t see the point in telling anyone.”
“Well I guess not everyone’s soulmate is right in front of them...” Kieren murmured.
Rick’s cheeks felt as though they were burning, the fire set his chest ablaze too. He felt such deep shame lying to his best friend, but there was no way he could tell him the truth. Especially when it was about something of such high importance. If his Kieren was truly also Kieren, his soulmate, that would make the shame and guilt even worse, but for now lies seemed the best option. He couldn’t risk it, and especially not with his dad watching his every step.
“How long is it until your birthday mate?” Rick asked, trying to divert the focus from the topic of his soulmate.
“1 year and 4 months,” he muttered. Rick gave a slow, but firm nod. He scolded himself for thinking that asking about Ren’s Birthday, was a good idea to get away from the topic of soulmates. 1 year and 4 months of lying to his best mate, minimum.
Luckily for Rick his birthday was in the cold months so the only time he really needed to hide his soulmate mark was after P.E. After football practice he always showered at home regardless. But not showering after P.E. was awful, especially when he had it in the middle of the day and had to wear a sweatshirt over his t-shirt. One could say that he very much wanted to take a shower afterwards, but it was too risky. Rick deemed it even too risky if I he went into the showers after everyone else, because what if someone came in and saw, what if someone saw the name of his soulmate. Instead of showering he locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls with a washcloth. He washed himself in the sweatiest spots and tried to compensate for the lack of showering with deodorant and cologne. Probably a little too much cologne if he was being honest with himself, something he really had not been lately. Something else that was lucky on Rick’s part was that Kieren rarely asked about his soulmate when there were others around, the only time he brought it up was when they were alone. In a way it was fortunate that they were rarely ever alone, before Rick discovered the name of his soulmate he had found it torturous. He still did, but ever since he had gotten to known his soulmate and since he stayed adamant about not telling Kieren, a wall had appeared between them. Especially ever since he had claimed the name was just that of some girl he didn’t know offhandedly to get the rest of the guys off his back. The reason that the two boys rarely hung out without anyone else around, was due to the fact that Kieren had been banned from the Macy household, because of a mix CD he had given Rick once. It was of course Rick’s father that had put the ban in place, and Rick had little power against his father. His words meant little against his father’s, and disagreeing with him rarely resulted in anything good. The only time Rick was guaranteed to be alone with Kieren was when they met up in the den, which he tried to limit. Rick ached to be around Kieren more, but he felt as though it would be for the best if he limited their time alone. Every moment where his eyes lingered on Kieren for a moment too long after words had been spoken, was a moment where everything could come crashing down. In addition to that Rick did not like lying to Kieren, but it was for their own good. That was at least what Rick kept telling himself.
They were on their way into the den on a rainy day when everything went wrong. The stones leading up to the entrance were slick with rain, and as Rick took a step up he slipped. He tried to catch himself, but that made everything worse, his arm scooted in front of him and he fell flat into the den. Half his body inside and half outside, he felt a sharp pain on his elbow.
“Are you alright?” Kieren fussed, reaching out a hand for Rick to grab onto, which he did. He scrambled inside with the help of Kieren, until Kieren froze completely.
“What?”
Kieren didn’t say a word, he just pointed at Rick’s elbow. Rick looked down, it was bloodied and the side of his arm was scraped up. That’s when he realized Kieren wasn’t pointing at his bloodied up arm. In his fall the arm of his jumper had ridden up, exposing his arm, the arm. Without thinking Rick hurriedly covered the name back up, Kieren’s name. Rick looked back up at him in panic, Kieren looked absolutely horrified.
“I’m sorry,” was all Rick could manage to get out.
“You’re sorry?” Kieren erupted.
“I-“ Rick tried, but Kieren wasn’t done.
“Am I really that embarrassing to you?”
“No, never” Rick whispered, his vision going blurry.
“You have to hide me from the world, and the only place you’ll meet me is in some bloody cave?”
“My dad-” he started.
“I don’t care about your bloody dad Rick, he can’t ban me from-” Kieren’s anger turned to something else, his voice getting choked up and trailing off, he looked down. Rick moved from the opening of the cave and sat himself down next to Kieren’s now slumped frame.
A heavy silence hung between them.
Rick took a deep breath. He then wiped at the tears furiously rolling down his cheeks, before offering his arm over to Kieren. His heart began beating about as hard as it had been on that faithful night when he had found out, that Kieren was his. Rick took one last breath before saying what he had been trying to deny for so long, out loud for the first time.
“From being my soulmate?” he managed to get out, Kieren peeked up from his hunched position to look at him, even with red eyes he was beautiful. Kieren’s eyes fell to Rick’s exposed arm. The arm he had been hiding from everyone for half a year, what he had been hiding from himself, denying himself. Warm fingers pressed to the writing that marked his skin, clear as day. Kieren. There was no doubt about it. Rick reached over to pull his jumper back over it again, his heart was on his sleeve, he felt completely exposed. Kieren stopped his hand, and took it in his. Rick’s stomach filled with overexcited butterflies, their wings aggressively tickling at his insides.
“It’s a gift Rick, a gift-” Kieren exclaimed, waving the hand that was now intertwined with Rick’s.
“He can’t deny you that,” Kieren shook his head, his voice getting choked up.
“He can’t deny us that.”
Rick nodded, his eyes filling with tears again. A sob escaped him, he couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I feel so trapped Ren,” Rick sobbed, his body shaking the moment the words left his lips. He gasped for air through the sobs as Kieren wrapped his arms around him, the warm embrace coaxing Rick’s body to calm down.
“Breathe,” Kieren murmured into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine, a shiver followed by a warm calming hand placed on his back between his shoulder blades.
“You can be free now,” Kieren whispered reassuringly carefully nodding his head, he leaned his brow against the side of Rick’s head. Rick gave a careful nod himself, before turning towards his soulmate, their tearful eyes connected. Before he knew it his eyes darted to Kieren’s lips, those lips that he had dreamed about for years, long before he even knew who his soulmate was. Without thinking he cupped Kieren’s face with his hand, his thumb caressing his soulmate’s lips.
“Can I kiss you?” Rick asked, his heart thumping away against his chest. Kieren nodded, and before he had managed to let out, what Rick was guessing was, a yes that went along with the enthusiastic nod, their lips crashed together. The last half a year of yearning crashing over them, and all the years that had come before coming together in a perfect storm of hands on each other’s faces, in each other’s hair, their lips moving together as if they needed it in order to breathe. To Rick it was almost as if he was breathing for the first time in his life, a weight lifted. Their bodies turned towards each other, their legs becoming a tangled mess. With Kieren’s warm soft lips and warm soft body pressed against him, Rick forgot all about the cold cave floor until his hand brushed against it in order to steady himself. Their lips separated for a brief moment for actual air, before coming back together as if they had never known anything else, kissing Kieren really did feel like the most natural thing in the world. Rick could not understand how anyone could think anything else, this thought made him force his lips away from Kieren again.
“You know.. You’re right, my dad can’t ban you from being my soulmate. He can huff and puff all he wants, but it say’s so right here. You are my soulmate Ren,” Rick affirmed, unlacing his fingers from Kieren’s hair in order to point to his arm, right where it was marked with Kieren’s name.
“I’m your soulmate,” Kieren repeated, a wide smile spreading across his face.