Chapter Text
imsohot added treehugger, thunderbringer, and 6 more
imsohot named the chat THE LEGENDS
treehugger: What's this?
imsohot: since we flowkirkenuinely have cookiechat now we should like talk to eachother 🥹
thunderbringer: gay gay homosexual gay
dilf: I love gay people! Love is love, no matter what. Be proud of yourself.
imsohot: thanks father in law
dilf: While we are not related, I am more than happy to be there for you as a guiding parental figure.
imsohot: this is why ur my favorite
after windy ofc
thunderbringer: um bitch what am i
a roach
a little crumb under your nasty toenails that haven't been clipped since the beasts were sealed
imsohot: babe wait i'd never do that to you
also uncalled for i clip my toenails
thunderbringer: tmi whore
imsohot: slut 🖕
thunderbringer: whatever you like men
maelstrom: liking a man was the worst thing that happened to me
thunderbringer: yes queen
milf: I don't enjoy when two of our guardians are fighting. Fire Spirit and Stormbringer, if you are having trouble with one another please allow me to mediate.
imsohot: no this is bestie behavior
milf: Ah, I see.
Also, may I ask what's up with the names in this chat?
imsohot: curtosy of me, fire spirit cookie, nickname extrordinaire
thunderbringer: shut up bro you are not allat 😭🙏
imsohot: what yes i am
windy tell her
treehugger: … no thanks
imsohot: BABE WHY
treehugger: babe?
what does that mean?
imsohot: its a special nickname dont worry abt it
thunderbringer: faggot
imsohot: dyke
thunderbringer: slut bag
imsohot: clit rider
maelstrom: where are u even getting this shit
imsohot: BYE GIRL i have got to introduce u to cookietok
its like when people can post videos and stuff of themselves or others
its peak trust
thunderbringer: yeah you'd say that, with 19+ hours daily
imsohot: STFU IT IS NOT 19
IT IS 15
thunderbringer: buddy thats still really bad
imsohot: it's not like i have a boyfriend to hang out with when im not working
thunderbringer: i wish i had a wife uhhh
imsohot: i wish i had a free bag of chipsssuh
treehugger: every time you open your mouth a piece of my crumbles
imsohot: im just that powerful 🥹✌️
shoutout to my goat Chandelure Cookie for teaching me the intricacies of Cookiechat
thunderbringer: i love chandelure cookie they're so stupid
maelstrom: so we all know this hoe huh
blizzard: They are persistent
thunderbringer: OMG HI FROST QUEEN
blizzard: Hello Stormbringer
imsohot: chandelure is my fav mortal
thunderbringer: cuz they're fire alligned
imsohot: shhhhhhhhut up
thunderbringer: mmmmmmmmmmmake me
mightoftheseas: Can me and my wife leave?
thunderbringer: ofc my beautiful goddesses
imsohot: no stay here and suffer
shut up lesbian
thunderbringer: boykisser
imsohot: wait i had a brilliant idea
i should make a gc with all of u guys and those like ancient hero guys so all the powerful people can hang out
thunderbringer: wait did u actually say something smart
imsohot: ik ik i did
but later im lazy asf
treehugger: you shouldn't put stuff off for too long
imsohot: you're absolutely right windy ill make it right now
imsohot added treehugger, thunderbringer, and 11 more to
WE GOT THE POWER
imsohot: whats up whats up whats up
uhhm this is a groupchat for all the important cookies of earthbread so we can like communicate and other important stuff
thunderbringer: check out mr woketard over here
imsohot: do not even bring that up to me ever
Pure Vanilla: It is nice to meet you all. Apologies if any of my texts send through weird, I am using Speech-To-Text and Text-To-Speech.
Might I ask who you are?
imsohot: im like the guardian of fire
aka the hot one
and im like super cool trust
Pure Vanilla: Okay.
imsohot: dont worry abt it dude jst know were really cool
and by we i mean me
thunderbringer: holy yapfest
Pure Vanilla: I'm a tiny bit preoccupied right now, I shall text you later.
Hollyberry: Yeah we're in the middle of a war kinda
imsohot: oh nah he's cooked
thunderbringer: ignore fagatron 2038 over here im sure he's fine
chandelusion: not to be like a bitch or anything but why am i here
imsohot: bc u run the Kingdom so ur not rlly powerful but uve got POLITICAL POWER
or something
idk i just wanted more fire hoes here
chandelusion: ok…
im gonna go…
the readers don't want me…
imsohot: what does that mean?
maelstrom: hello what 😭
sleeep: Chandelure Cookie is just like that, pay them no mind.
Dark Cacao: Alright.
radience: this guy texts like a grandpa i cant believe were friends
Dark Cacao: ?
radience: dont worry abt it
blizzard: Again aren't you guys at war?
Should we help?
imsohot: oh yeah we should….
ugh
windy can you take the blue bitch im not dealing with him
i want the pink one
treehugger: um okay
chandelusion: shh no spoilers
im only at chapter 13
imsohot: what?