Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bucky had expected several ways for this mission to end.

One of which was how most of them ended. Two or more were banged up, everyone was bitching, but they were also all staying so close to each other they may as well smother each other with their proximity. Those nights end with Chinese and Capri Suns in the living room as Yelena and John bicker over what to watch and Ava and Bob braid everyone’s hair while Alexei tells them stories of his childhood. 

This is Bucky’s favorite way to end a mission. Sure, everyone hurts a little, there’s a shit ton of paperwork to do, and everyone’s dreading having to see Val in the morning, but they’re all alive and, for the most part, okay.

The other way it can end is with someone over someone’s shoulder as they tap out and regroup before going back in again. He doesn’t prefer those nights. It ends in panicked screaming and fighting, someone else on the brink of terrified and in pain and him trying to corral several stressed out mentally ill adults into leaving it to the medical professionals to fix what the big bad fucked up.

Its always tense until they’re allowed to be with whoever got the short end of the stick, someone or two or all of them are blaming themselves for where it went wrong, there’s at least one crash out, two people who have a panic attack and then everyone is so tired that they fall asleep in various areas near or on the bed of the battered member of the family. He doesn’t like them, but they remind him how much these asshole’s mean to him.

This, however, was new.

And he hated it.

He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he hit the comms again, tearing through the destruction of what once was the camp of a head of hydra.

“Yelena, answer your comm's damnit.”

Silence.

“Ava, pick up.”

Still no sound.

He felt his blood run cold as he stumbled over something and looked down to find the bent shield that not even two hours ago he heard Ava giving John shit for.

“John. answer me. Right the fuck now where are you.”

He knows he sounds panicked, but he doesn’t give a fuck. Because why does the shield have blood on it-

“Alexei? Anyone can you hear me?”

 He snatched the shield off the ground and started to storm deeper into the fray. 

He couldn’t go with them, they went before he did because he was stuck in a meeting with Congress. He’d gotten a text in the group chat that there was a pop-up mission and they needed to go. Ava said it sounded like easy work, Yelena said it would be over before Bucky could say boo. When Bucky asked for details, the chat got quiet until he prodded some more, and John caved and said it was something with Hydra, but they weren’t sure. They could handle it.

He hated how his stomach turned at the thought of his team going against Hydra, but he said he’d meet them in fifteen.

He didn’t get to their location for another 45 minutes. 

And this is the consequence of his actions.

“ANYONE. ANSWER ME.”

He screamed in the dead of the base. 

Nothing.

From the side of his eye, he caught sight of one of Yelena’s blasters, and his heart sank again. 

This can’t be happening-

He stormed over, nearly tripping over Alexei’s cowl as he did. At this point, he felt nothing but raw panic before he pulled his phone out to dial Bob’s number.

“Pick up, please pick up.”

The ringer went for several seconds before cutting

“ Hi! This is Bob- uh well you know that you called… anyway if you’re hearing this I- ow John you stepped on my toe- sorry if you’re hearing this I can’t take your call- he’s probably on the toilet- LENA! I’m going to have to restart this… alright well call me back! Thanks- Ava give me my phone back!”

The dial beeped for Bucky to leave a message, but he couldn’t even muster a sound as he felt his knees hit the ground, bile growing in his throat.

This was never supposed to happen.

By the time he got back to the compound, he’d about turned hell loose on New York City looking for his team. Valentina was definitely expecting him when he stormed in.

“Where are they-”

“Barnes, you need to get a grip! I have no clue what you’re talking about, but you’ve apparently been terrorizing the streets-”

That was an overstatement. He’d simply gone to each stakeout of some villains and checked for his misfits. And put out some feelers here and there by word of mouth. No one had gotten hurt.

“You sent them on that fucking mission so where are they?”

He pointed his gun at her, not even thinking twice, as she raised her hands in surrender,

“They went to bust an undercover Hydra plant. They were supposed to get intel and blow the place out, that’s all. Didn’t realize they’d find a way to fuck it up as bad as they did-”

“Where the hell is Bob?”

“He went with them this time. Said he wanted to be useful, so he drove.”

Son of a BITCH

“So let me get this straight. You sent them into a death trap and didn’t think to consult with me first?”

“They’re my team, Barnes. I don’t need your approval-”

“No Val, they are my team. They’re your scapegoats. Don’t get it twisted. And it isn’t approval. It is basic survival, this isn’t some maniac who self proclaims they’re a bad guy this is fucking Hydra. You don’t just go in and blow Hydra up.”

Something flashed in Val’s eyes, fear, anger, he wasn’t sure but he knew he didn’t give a damn as he point the gun again in her direction, 

“So let's try again. Where’s my team at.”

“They went off the radar. I have a team looking for them, but I don’t have anything right now.”

Bucky swung around and shot several rounds into a wall, staring at the holes left in his fury as he tried to collect his thoughts before spinning around to face Val again.

“I’m going to find them. Tell Mel to clear my schedule. Don’t tamper with this anymore than you have I can’t afford for Hydra to realize I’m coming.”

With that, he stormed out. Not caring to look back.

It took three days to track them down, an hour to find a car, and then four hours to drive out to the edge of Massachusetts to the underground bunker they’d created. 

His blood was boiling by the time he’d made it to the state, his only thought being that he better not be returning with body bags.

If he was everyone were following in their footsteps. Himself included.

He had planned his attack to a T, and by the time he rolled up on the once shirt factory that looked run down, he knew what he was in for.

Guns a blazing was an understatement.

Bucky blew the door clean off its hinges, cocking his gun to look around to see if anyone was there. It was a breath before several agents flooded the scene, clearly not prepared for a former soldier of their own making to wipe the floor with them, never once breaking a sweat as he did.

Each time he went through a wave of soldiers, he checked the area, looking for his team, finding nothing in return. 

He’d run through two magazines by the time he heard something that snapped him out of his killing spree.

A cry.

It sounded like a child.

Bucky finished off the two agents in front of him before he checked his surroundings and went into the room he heard crying coming from. 

And stopped dead in his tracks.

It was a sterile room, reminding him all too much of the ones he’d spent countless days in, it took everything in him not to throw up. 

The only thing that pulled him from his reverie was seeing the little girl screaming as she tried to pull away from two scientists as they tried to pin her down.

Bucky blew their heads clean off in half a breath. 

The little girl fell on the table and scrambled off it to hide herself as best she could as Bucky walked over, holstering his gun before crouching down beside the table, putting a hand out, 

“It's ok, I am not going to hurt you,”

She slowly uncurled her body, looking up at him with fear in her big grey eyes filled with fear and pain.

It hit him hard in the face as he blinked, his brain trying to catch up with the facts flying at him in lightning speed 

“Ava, is that you?”

She blinked, before recognition must have flooded her senses as she threw herself at him, holding on so tight he could feel her nails digging into his neck, 

He hushed her gently, holding her as closely as possible, letting her cry into his neck, 

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

She was blubbering in Spanish and English, nothing quite making a coherent sentence as he rocked her, while also listening for whoever else was on their way.

“Ava, where are the others? Do you know where they are? I’m trying to get you out of here.”

She whipped her head back, nodding vigorously, before pointing at the door to Bucky’s back. He held his breath, listening for a moment before he heard another scream, this one was out of fear and less in pain.

He was on his feet in an instant, shifting Ava’s weight to one side while snatching his gun up again, kicking the door in as he walked in, surveying the scene.

There were about 15 agents in the room, each posted in different areas, while one scientist held a lanky boy in the air by his arm. The boy was kicking as hard as he could while swearing like a sailor, his body all forms of black and blue, his one forearm bent in a way it shouldn't bend as he continued to fight. Below him, huddled in a corner, was a little girl with blonde hair, covering a small boy's ears as she screamed to put the boy down. The smallest boy was hiding his whole body in the girl, screaming and crying in fear of the situation at hand.

Bucky saw red.

The room lit up in fire as Bucky went round for round, blowing holes in every grown adult in the room, each agent dropping like a fly under his fire.

He left the doctor for last, who had since dropped the boy on his back before trying to escape. 

Bucky threw a star at his shoulder, pinning him to the wall as he cried out in pain. He plopped Ava down before storming over to the man, ripping the star out of his shoulder to pin him to the wall with his metal arm, holding down hard until he heard the crunch of bones and the scream that followed echoed in his ears. 

“Where’s Alexei?”

He demanded. Not expecting a response from the scientist. 

“Winter Soldier?”

That was enough for Bucky. He turned the star in his fingers and then shoved it in the man's throat, not caring about the blood that splattered up at him as the man dropped.

Good enough for him. He’d find his oldest member without his help.

The super soldier turned around to find the boy had already backed the younger three into the wall to protect them, using his lanky body as a shield.

God, how had he never noticed the Steve-like traits in John before?

John, it’s me. It’s Bucky.”

He said carefully as he walked over, crouching down to his level.

It took him a minute to mentally clock who Bucky was, but the second he did, his guard went down and he scrambled to Bucky, hugging him. 

Bucky sighed, holding him just as close as he had Ava, fully expecting the three other bodies that slammed into him after.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you guys. You’re safe now,”

“They took Alexei-”

“I’m gonna go find him, can you guys stay here?”

“You leaving us again?”

Yelena’s voice was thick with emotion as tears spilled freely from her little eyes, and instantly, Bucky wanted to punch himself.

“No, I am coming right back, I’m just going to get Alexei.”

He unclipped a pistol before handing it to John, 

“You think you can pull this trigger?”

He nodded, taking the gun in his small hands. It felt so wrong to hand him that gun, but he had no other choice.

“If someone comes in and they aren’t me or Alexi. Shoot.”

John nodded, and Bucky stood up swiftly to go find the last of his group, doing his best to block out the sound of Yelena and Bob crying in desperation at his walking away.

Bucky pulled the gun off his back, ready to unload again when he turned the corner of the hall, praying the kids remained unfound as he looked for Alexei. He wasn’t in the operating room or the keeping room, so he could only be in some other hellhole-

He stopped in his tracks at the sound of a boy shouting, possibly trying to break free from the sounds of it.

Bingo.

Bucky loaded his clip before counting to three and kicking the door in, pointing his gun at every adult in his sights. They hit the ground in damn near unison before he felt a body about half his height slam into him, holding him tight.

“I tried to fight them off, and they took me away.”

Bucky sighed, holding the boy by his shoulders before backing up, 

“You did good, kid let's go get the others.”

Alexi put Yelena on his shoulders, Bucky carried Bob and Ava, and John hobbled out after him, all of them running as fast as they could, Bucky ushering them out the door before he put Ava down, unclipped a bomb, and chucked it into the building, closing the door after he did.

He snatched the girl up again and made quick work of throwing all the kids in the car before taking off as fast as he could, the sound of the bomb going off behind him.

Good. now he made sure every roach was dead.

About halfway through the drive, it all started to set in.

He looked in the back seat at the sleeping five children,

He’d been so focused on getting them out, he didn’t even stop to think about the fact that they weren’t the adults he’d seen last Tuesday night.

But they were his, it was undeniable. 

Their suits were long gone; they were each wearing a pair of grey sweats (a Hydra staple) in various states of disarray. Some of them looked worse for wear than others. Bob looked almost untouched, aside from a bruise on his arm where Bucky assumed he’d been poked and prodded with needles. Ava was coming in second. Yelena was bruised in various areas, Alexi looked like he’d both dueled out punches and received some, and John looked like he’d taken each punch that was thrown his way.

For his own sanity, Bucky looked back at the road ahead, clenched his jaw, and decided to think about the how later and focus on the now.

The now was getting everyone home.

“We’re home, buddy, can you wake up for me?”

Bucky asked, gently shaking John’s shoulder. The boy stirred and whimpered softly, and Bucky swore at himself for shaking the kid. He looked like he’d been beaten to hell and back.

“Sorry, buddy, can you wake up? We’ve got to get upstairs.”

Before Bucky could say anything else, he was enveloped in an armful of lanky blonde, and without thinking, he just hugged him back, gently rubbing his back. 

“I’d carry you up, bud, but I’ve got the girls and Bob too, you think you can walk for me?”

He felt the boy nod before pulling back with a sigh, turning around to poke at Yelena, 

“We have to get up, come on,”

She grumbled in Russian and smacked his hand away, but he continued to poke her until she woke up. He whispered something to her, and she nodded, reaching out for him to pick her up. For as scrawny as he was, he was able to hold her well enough as he sat on the car floor to scooch out, still holding her tight as he half jumped out, stumbling onto the sidewalk with her in his arms.

Bucky hadn’t expected him to help, but he wasn’t surprised at it being his gut reaction to do so. 

“Stay there, bud, I’m gonna wake up the others, ok?”

John nodded, blinking but not speaking a word still. Odd… Bucky would have to get to the bottom of that later. Instead, he turned back into the car and jostled Alexi in the same fashion he had John, having to shake him a little harder to get a reaction before the older boy startled awake with a grumble, 

“Hey, sorry Alexei, we’re home, can you get up so we can go in?”

Alexei huffed before rubbing his eyes with a hiss, forgetting he had a black eye, 

“Where’s Lena?”

“John has her outside. Can you join them?”

Alexei nodded before half-stretching and getting out of the car. Bucky heard some noise before he saw John reappear by his side, climbing into the car to poke Bob two times before the boy started to cry softly in his sleep, Bucky moved to help but John just hushed him before whispering something again, scooping up the tiny boy in his arms as he adjusted and then scooched out just like he had with Yelena. 

Odd. but once again he wouldn’t ask. Not now.

Instead, he reached in and picked up Ava, who was very much still asleep. Good, he didn’t have it in him to wake her up yet.

He held her with one arm, closing the car door with the other before ushering the boys to walk inside as he followed from behind, making sure he could get them inside without being seen by the nightlife.

All he wanted to do was get everyone in bed to sleep; he’d worry about showering and cleaning tomorrow. Tonight, he just wanted to sleep.

They were in the elevator on the way up when he heard the softest sounding crying, and had expected it was Bob or Yelena, looking down at the four, only to find it was John, biting his lip as fat tears rolled down his face, 

“Bud, what’s wrong? are you ok?”

John looked up at Bucky, blinking as more tears spilled and a tight whimper escaped his throat. Instantly, Bucky felt like he was back in the 20s, and Steve was looking up at him to help him. He felt his heart squeeze in pain, 

“Oh bud… what’s wrong?”

“I’m really tired.”

He cried softly, trying to avoid being loud so he didn’t wake up Bob. it was then that Bucky realized he was shaking, not from the weight of holding Bob, the boy was light as a feather, but more so, probably just sheer exhaustion hitting him like a truck.

Bucky exhaled, feeling a wave of emotion as he reached down and wiped John’s tears off of his cheeks, 

“Just a few more minutes, bud, I promise you’re doing so good.”

He wasn’t sure how he was going to react. This wasn’t the John Bucky knew, but he thanked God that the boy just nodded and looked ahead at the elevator door, resting his cheek on Bob’s sleeping head as they waited for the door to open. 

As soon as it did, Alexei was the first out the door with Yelena, whispering to her in Russian the entire way as Bucky nudged John to walk in front of him, before leaving as well. 

The living space was quiet. Unlived in.

It had been a week since Bucky had been home. Since any of them had been home.

Home.

Suddenly, everyone’s guard was down as the elevator door closed, sealing them off from the pains of the world.

Bucky walked to his room, opened the door, and moved in with ease before putting Ava down on the bed and brushing her hair out of her eyes. She hadn’t stirred once, if that wasn’t proof she was worn out, he didn’t know what was.

“Be right back,”

He whispered, not sure if she even heard him, as he went back into the living room, looking at Alexei, who was standing in the middle of the room with Yelena still, waiting for his command.

“Go ahead and set up camp in my room, kid, I’m getting the other two.”

Alexi smiled before nodding, heading in the direction of Bucky’s room. Bucky didn’t think to ask if he knew where to go, but he had a feeling he’d be fine figuring it out on his own. Now to get the other two, speaking of-

“John?”

Bucky felt his heart pounding hard when he realized he had lost sight of John and Bob, a wave of fear washing over him at the thought of losing them again. He rounded the corner to the living space fast, stopping hard in his tracks to find John sitting on the floor, still holding Bob as tightly as possible as he cried softly, 

“Sorry, I was really- I couldn’t stand up anymore, I tried to, but I couldn’t.”

He sobbed. Bucky felt like he could kick himself.

“Hey hey hey, it’s ok Bub, you’re alright.”

He said gently as he knelt on the ground, rubbing John’s back. John was incredibly emotional, who would have thought? Something else about this all wasn’t sitting right with him, but he pushed it to the back of his head as he gently pried Bob from the boy’s hold, 

“I’m gonna go put Bob in bed, I’ll be right back for you ok? Can you wait here?”

John nodded, rubbing his eyes with a half-sob, 

“Ok, Bud, one second, I promise I’ll be back,”

Bucky stood up, walking off to his room to put Bob on his bed with Ava, not sure how they would all fit on the bed or how it would even work, but he couldn’t begin to think of having them in a room outside of his own. He needed them all where he could see and feel them.

When he got into the room, he found Alexei had already taken up a corner of the bed with Yelena, both fast asleep. At some point Alexei must have pulled Ava up to sleep with them as they were both buried in the older boy’s arms. 

Good, three fewer kids to worry over. 

He gently plopped Bob on the bed, shushing him as he stirred and cried softly. Without thinking, Bucky leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, instantly soothing the child.

Huh. Interesting. 

He waited until he could tell the youngest was fully asleep to go collect his last kid, idly wondering if John would even be awake when he got to him, 

He was barely awake, swaying side to side as he waited for Bucky to return, and once again, oddly it reminded him of Steve. Stubborn as shit even when he was knocked down,

“Hey, Bud I’m back. Want me to carry you?”

John blinked before looking up at Bucky as the big tears formed in his eyes again. For a second, he wondered if he said something wrong before the boy nodded and raised his arms for the ex-assassin to pick him up.

Bucky did so with ease, scooping up the child as he buried himself into Bucky, letting go of a deep sigh as his body relaxed. Bucky hadn’t realized how tense he was until now.

“I really tried to protect them.”

It didn’t surprise him in the slightest that John would have taken the most shit to protect them. There was something about everyone who’d ever picked up the shield that almost required you to be a danger seeking protective numbskull.

He needed to call Sam in the morning.

“You did good, Bub, do good. We’re gonna go to bed now, ok? I’ve got it from here.”

He nodded again into Bucky’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the super soldier’s neck once more as he nuzzled in. Bucky didn’t bat an eye, instead he just walked to his room, went to the bed, and carefully deposited the clingy boy onto the bed, covering him up with a spare blanket. 

“I’m gonna get another blanket, you go to sleep ok?”

“You’ll come back?”

Bucky felt his throat burning with unshed tears, he was so tired as well.

“Not going anywhere far, go to sleep.”

John yawned, nodded, and burrowed into the bed before falling asleep.

Bucky watched the group of kids sleep, feeling a mix of relief and terror. He had his team back, but how the fuck was he going to explain this shit to Valentina? And beyond that how the ever loving fuck was he going to get them back to normal?

“I’m too tired to think about this now.”

He muttered before staying true to his word, going to the spare closet to pull out another comforter, before throwing it over the three that had nestled into each other. He kicked off his boots, pulled out his phone, and pulled up Sam’s number without thinking twice.

I need your help ASAP

He wasn’t sure Sam would answer him, not after their conversation last week, but it was worth a shot. 

Instead of waiting for the answer, he carefully nudged John to move before lying on the bed, watching all of them sleep for a minute. Alexi was sound asleep, Yelena had one leg thrown over his hip and her arm on Ava. Ava was also asleep, her hands flexing and unflexing as she slept, and at some point between when he’d nudged him to now John had found Bob again and had pulled him in to sleep with him. For the first time in a week, Bucky felt like he could breathe. So he did, he just breathed in the moment before nodding off himself.

Chapter Text

Bucky woke up to the smell of breakfast being made.

It was Alexi’s turn to cook, so it would probably be burnt as hell, but edible to some degree. He couldn’t hear Yelena and Ava talking, so they must still be asleep, and if it was any time past 6 am John was probably on a run or working out. Bob was also more or less in the kitchen helping Alexei, since there were no fire alarms yet. 

Something felt off. He couldn’t put his finger on what, but it felt wrong. He moved, and all at once felt like he’d gotten hit by a car.

So there must have been a mission yesterday that almost went wrong, depending on how he felt. That made him want to open his eyes less. 

Oh. he hadn’t opened his eyes yet.

He blinked, the sunlight streaming in against his will, letting his mind catch up with the happenings of the previous day.

He’d been on a mission, he was solo because it was a rescue mission. Yesterday he’d found the team, they’d been trafficked and used for experiment-

Bucky shot up, his heart pounding out of his chest as he looked at the bed. 

Empty.

Where the fuck were his kids-

He threw himself out of the bed, flying out of the room in a straight panic before he tore into the living room to find everyone there.

Yelena and Ava were sitting on the couch, Bob between them as they watched some kids' show, all three of them captivated by the screen. Alexei was sitting on the floor beside Yelena, flipping through a magazine, and John was sitting on the other end of the floor, quietly humming as he bobbed his head and watched something on an iPhone.

He felt his heart rate start to slow as he took in the scene. everyone was ok, no one was missing, everyone was there and accounted for.

“I was gonna wake your ass up but I figured I could handle five kids on my own. Nothin’ I haven’t already handled.”

Bucky whipped around, not at all expecting to see Sam standing there with a cup of coffee, leaning on the wall, watching him.

He looked tired, but that didn’t hide the obvious shocked state he was in prior to seeing Bucky.

“So…. what the fuck happened?”

“Language,”

Sam raised one hand in surrender before half nodding to the room of kids, 

“They’ve all heard worse.”

Bucky let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding before Sam did the same, the two friends staring at each other for a second, 

“Want some coffee? Orange juice?”

“Coffee would be great, actually.”

Sam nodded, pushing off the wall, as Bucky rubbed his face to try and remove whatever state of sleepiness resided. 

“How’d you even get in?”

“I used to live here... Before you guys hijacked it, remember? When we were the Avengers?”

Here we fucking go-

“Sam I can’t-”

“That was not smart on my end, sorry. Let’s bury that for now to focus on… this.”

Bucky nodded, his hands on his hips as he looked over at the living room again,

“They weren’t too much trouble, were they?”

“Oh, who? The kids I definitely wasn’t prepared to walk in and find? No, totally not. All of them are angels.”

Bucky couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm or not.

Sam sighed, rubbing his face before he walked into the kitchenette to get Bucky coffee, leaving the soldier standing there in his wake, still trying to wrap his head around everything.

Something funny must have happened on the show, considering the fact that the girls and Bob all burst up in giggles. It filled Bucky’s chest with a deep feeling he hadn’t felt in decades.

“They were actually all really oddly behaved. Chocking it up to everyone being tired.”

Sam was by his side again, handing him a cup of coffee exactly how he liked it. One sugar and a tiny splash of cream.

No one could make it as good as Sam did. Not even Steve made Bucky’s coffee as well.

“Sure, they’re all still in pain too…”

Sam hummed, taking a swig of his coffee as he watched the kids, none of whom seemed to realize they were being watched.

“Yelena looks a little roughed up, Ava and Bob didn’t look too bad, Alexi looks rough too, John looks…”

“Like he ran into a brick wall?”

“Like he ran his mouth and paid for it.”

Something in Bucky flashed hot and angry at the comment, and he found himself biting the inside of his cheek.

“He took the brunt of the abuse to avoid the others getting it, so yeah, ran his mouth and paid for it, I guess if you want to put it that way.”

“Buck, I didn’t mean it as a slight. I’m sorry.”

Just as fast as the anger was there, it was gone, but the odd need to protect the ruddy blonde was still very much intact.

“Sorry. I just-”

“Feel like you have to protect him. I get that. I wasn’t saying it in a derogatory way, but I see how you could have taken it that way.”

The two lapsed into a silence that wasn’t comfortable or uncomfortable. Just silent. It felt like they were at square one of their relationship again.

“I was going to call you in the morning and explain it all to you, not sure why I texted you last night.”

Sam shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee, 

“I’m glad you did. You needed to sleep, and I got to get jump scared by a room full of various-aged little killers. Again, that was a joke, not a jab.”

Bucky snorted, taking a sip from his mug. Sam really knew how to make a cup of coffee.

“I would pay to see that go down.”

“Yeah, well if you can get Tony’s system back up, I’m sure you’ll find the footage.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

“I don’t have a single clue what to do.”

“What, with five kids ranging from the ages of two and twelve? Me neither, Buck, but we’ll figure it out.”

“We?”

Sam turned around to look at Bucky, the two staring at each other for a second before Captain America answered, 

“You called me Buck, I came. I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone.”

The I’m not leaving you alone didn’t go unheard. Bucky looked Sam hard in the eye before nodding in appreciation, looking back a the problem at hand.

“Guess we should start by feeding them.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got food in the kitchen, I was going to come get them set up and confiscate my phone from the gremlin over there first. I’m sure Sarah’s trying to figure out why I tore out of the house like a bat out of hell last night.”

Bucky snorted, before taking another drink of his coffee, watching them for a moment longer before something clicked-

“Did you say between two and twelve?!?!”

Corralling them to the table was easier than Bucky had assumed it would be. All it took was for Sam to whistle at them and nod at the kitchen, and declare the French toast was ready, and all five of them scrambled to get to the kitchen first.

“John!” 

The boy skidded to a halt, spinning around to look at Sam with a look mixed between fear and confusion. 

Sam made a motion with his hand, and when John just blinked at him, he sighed, hating the grin that spread on his lips. 

“The phone, kiddo, I need to call my sister.”

“Oh.”

He handed it over without another sound before looking at Bucky for permission to go, and when Bucky nodded at him, he scrambled off. 

“That was odd.”

Bucky hummed in response, walking slower to the kitchen with Sam at his hip, 

“Yeah, he’s… I’m not sure. He barely reacted to the-”

Shit. he had a broken arm and Bucky didn’t do squat about it last night that poor kid-

“I took him to the med wing this morning, he’s casted and was sent on his way, he took a hell of a hit though, had several of the nurses down there glaring holes into me as if I was the one that beat the hell out of him.”

Oh. yeah, he did have a cast on. How had Bucky missed that?

“He didn’t even react to them setting it, just sat there and watched, the only time I got a response from him was when I asked if he wanted cap colors, and he nodded in approval.”

Bucky hummed again before the two of them entered the kitchen, finding all of the kids had already started eating like it was their first meal in days.

Probably because it was.

Shit. Bucky was already failing miserably.

“What’s going on in there?”

Sam asked, tapping the side of his head, snapping him out of his thoughts, 

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, no, something is burning the remaining brain cells alive in your head bud, don’t try to lie to me, the smoke is comin' out your ears again.”

Bucky snorted, walking back over to the coffee pot to get another cup,

“I’m not good at this… kid stuff.”

He would just leave it there. He didn’t have to tell Sam he felt wildly out of his depth, or that he had killed over three hundred people just to get them home, and he was feeling sick to his stomach for tapping into his old training to get the job done. He didn’t have to tell him any of that because he knew Sam already knew.

“Well, lucky for you, I’m great with kids. They love me.”

As if summoned, Ava popped around Sam’s legs, tapping on his thigh to get his attention. Sam looked down, smiling at her softly, 

“What’s up, sweetpea?”

“I um, I wanted some juice?”

Her voice was so soft and tiny, like she was unsure of how loud she was allowed to speak to the man, or if she even should be. Sam took it in stride, gasping in mock shock as he scooped her up in his arms with ease, getting a soft laugh from her. 

“Well, of course you can, especially after asking so nicely, I’ve got Orange, you ok with that?”

Her face brightened as she nodded, still holding her cup in one hand as Sam walked with her over to the fridge, calling over his shoulder,

“Buck, there’s food on the table. go eat, you haven’t eaten in a week.”

Again, Sam didn’t need to be told anything. He already knew.

Bucky chuckled as he went over to the table, sitting down to eat.

Alexei had Bob on his lap, ripping up the toast to bite size pieces, Yelena sitting half on the table as she tried to get the strawberries, talking about what she dreamt about last night (he felt a wash of relief hearing her recall a regular child dream.) and John was sitting across from her, nodding along and eating, adding his two cents every once in a while but otherwise just watching her and giggling.

Children. They were all children.

How old was beyond him. He’d have to find out.

A plate was plopped down in front of him as Sam sat beside him, Ava already scrambling to snuggle into John’s side again with her orange juice.

“I said eat, not space out, Buck.”

“How old are they? How are we even going to figure that out?”

Bucky did start to poke at his food as Sam huffed a laugh between a bite, 

“I was kinda hoping you’d know, since when I asked them, they all looked at me like I’d grown a fifth head and shrugged.”

Bucky chuckled at that, already knowing that would have been their responses. Damn, Sam made good French toast.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“Medbay?”

Bucky hummed in agreement, his glance moving to John’s cast again before going back to the rest of them, 

“Did you take any of the others?”

“Not yet, no. I honestly… It’s been a morning.”

Bucky looked at him with a raised eyebrow before pushing the bowl of blueberries down to Alexei, who was trying to reach for them one-handed.

“Buck, have you checked your phone yet?”

Bucky shook his head. He hadn’t done anything except sprint out of bed in a straight panic and then talk to Sam, not even peed yet. Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he took a swig of his own orange juice, 

“Well, I sent you about fifteen texts and tried to call you three times. All while I was flying from Washington to here. You scared the piss out of me last night.”

A wave of guilt washed through Bucky as he looked at his cup of coffee, 

“Sorry, I-”

“No, no, don’t apologize, I’m glad you reached out. Really, I am, but I was terrified. The last I’d heard, the team disappeared, and you went after them… I had this horrible feeling they’d been found dead, but you didn’t answer, and I tracked your phone to the tower, so that’s where I went.”

Ava tapped Sam’s hand, getting him off the conversation long enough to crawl into his lap. Sam just stroked her hair and continued as if there was no interruption.

“I came in, found no one here, called out several times and found no one, and then toothpick tom over here decided to try and jump me with a broken arm and nothing but an umbrella.”

Bucky heard John giggle, and something about that made Bucky chuckle in response to both what was said and the reaction. 

“When I had unarmed him of his umbrella, I saw his arm was broken, and after talking him down, I took him to medbay to get it fixed up and then came straight back up without running any other checks. The others were freaking out because John was missing so I once again almost got pelted by several things upon arrival,”

“He was sneaking, I only protected.”

Alexei reasoned before helping Bob with a cup of milk. Bucky chuckled again before feeling Yelena slowly sneak up on him, flopping her little body down on his lap like a blanket. Without hesitation, he scooped her up and sat her on his lap, and let her pick at his leftovers.

“I started breakfast after setting a distraction and checking on you, and then you got up shortly after.”

“Thank you.”

Sam waved him off before popping a few blueberries in his mouth. 

“But no, I’ve done no med checks on any of them. So maybe we start there.”

Bucky nodded, bouncing Yelena on his lap without thinking,

“So med checks, then…. I don’t know, I’m out of my depth here.”

“I’d suggest getting them actual clothes. Then we’ll figure out what to do with them later.”

Sam suggested finishing off his coffee before patting Ava on the head again, 

“So let's get this party started then, potty break and then medbay, then a little trip to the nearest store.”

Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to Bucky or Sam that the sight of the medbay would spur several meltdowns.

Ava lost her shit the second they stepped into the room, screaming and crying as she tried to pry herself out of Sam’s hold. Yelena was no better; she started kicking and biting Bucky as she screamed to be let go, and Bob burst into tears in Alexei’s arms as the older boy took a step back. John stood behind Bucky, holding onto his leg so tight that he broke skin as he dug his nails in, but he tried to calm the others down by saying he was just here, so it would be ok. It worked for Alexei, and by that response, it worked for Bob, but it took a full fifteen minutes to convince Ava and Yelena they would not be hurt.

In the end, Bucky and Sam sat with the girls on their laps, and everything that was done to the girls was done to them first to prove they were safe.

Both girls knocked out as soon as they got back to the living floor, so Sam and Bucky put them both on the couch to sleep of the “excitement” of the morning. Alexei handed Bob over to Bucky before declaring he was showering. Tired of the way he felt in the sweats. What he was planning on changing into was beyond Bucky, but he’d cross that bridge when he got there. Instead, he put the sleeping three-year-old boy beside his four-year-old sisters, before turning around to see where his oddly tall five-year-old had gotten off to.

John hadn’t moved from where he was standing when they came in, standing by the entrance of the elevator, just picking at his cast as he surveyed the room, looking for something but not finding it.

Bucky had the worst feeling he already knew, but he was not ready for that conversation.

“John, come here, bud.”

John looked up at Bucky, blinking twice before following the instructions he was given, walking over to the older soldier with no sound. 

Bucky crouched down so he was at eye level with the kid, tipping his head to the side to try and catch his gaze.

“You ok, bud?”

He nodded, now watching the pile of sleeping preschoolers on the couch, 

“You tired?”

He shrugged, still picking at his cast.

“Does that hurt?”

He shrugged again before reaching up to scratch his cheek, narrowly avoiding the black and blue marks on his face. This poor kid. He had no clue how he was going to take him out in public looking like that, people were going to assume the worst.

He shifted on his feet awkwardly, not sure how to say what was clearly on his mind, and any other time, Bucky would have left him to work it out on his own, 

“You need something?”

He shrugged again, Bucky could tell he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. Whatever it was, he was entirely too nervous to say it out loud.

“How about you show me what you need-”

Before Bucky could finish his sentence, he was holding an armful of a little kid, who’d somehow managed to wrap himself around Bucky. The super soldier caught him and managed to not fall flat on his ass at the sheer force that he threw himself into him, a soft exhale escaping him as he did. Not for the first time, he was finding there was more to John than he knew… or cared to know at one point.

“Oh, Kid, I don’t mind hugging you if that’s what you want.”

John nodded, not letting go of the man as Bucky half stood to sit back into the couch, repositioning the boy so he was sitting on his lap but not moving him from the way he was holding onto him.

Without thinking, he ruffled his dirty blonde hair and started to hum softly, leaning his head back on the couch as he closed his eyes.

He could hear the girls and Bob snoring next to him, and John’s breathing was evening out on his chest. 

Good, they all needed the sleep.

He continued to hum that stupid song that made his Steve so famous, chuckling in his mind as he thought about how much Steve hated that song. He used to sing it to him at every free chance just to get a rise out of him. 

John sighed, relaxing into Bucky’s hold as Bucky continued to fluff his hair, wondering if John grew up the way he thought he did.

He hoped not, but all the signs were pointing to that. It would make sense on multiple levels why he had the issues he did.

No different than Bob, other than the fact that Bob was, by nature, a sweeter person, John had become hardened. 

Bucky sighed, pushing it all the the back of his mind as he felt himself sink into the couch more.

That can wait for another day; today he just wants to breathe.

“So there’s a Target in the area, there’s also a Mall, so we may find more of what we need there…”

Sam trailed off as he looked at the scene in front of him, and he felt his chest squeeze.

Without questioning himself, he took his phone out and snapped several pictures, sending them to two different people before saving one of them in a folder, putting his phone away to take the scene in. 

Bucky was out cold. John was just as knocked out on his chest, at some point Yelena had moved around and had her head on his lap, Ava had a foot on his knee, and Bob was nestled in the crook of his arm. 

It was sweet, in more ways than one, but it was heartbreaking in all the same ways.

“They are asleep, yes?”

Sam turned around to find the oldest of the group watching them. He was wearing one of Bucky’s t-shirts and a pair of boxers. So he’d pieced together an outfit… good to know.

“Yeah, you want to do something while we wait for naptime to be over?”

Alexei raised his eyebrows in consideration before nodding, accepting Sam’s outstretched hand,

“Can we play the Nintendo?”

Sam chuckled, nodding as he led him to the other end of the living space, 

“Sure kid, just letting you know I don’t mess around with Mario cart.”

Chapter Text

“So, I’m thinking we hit the mall first. The chances of us finding everything there is high,”

Bucky hummed, listening to Sam talk yes, but his mind was in other places. Like how he’d make up for lost time in congress, what he was going to feed these kids tonight, and how the hell he was going to explain this to Val. 

“How are we gonna drive them without carseats is my only thought, any two cents to add?”

Bucky looked up from what he was looking at on his phone, mindlessly scrolling through the news. Looked like everything was quiet for once.

“Um, yeah I have no clue, you have nephews right? Can they just sit in the car?”

Sam looked at him like he’d grown a fifth head… or like he’d said something so dumb it was taking him all his strength to keep his mouth shut

“Are you joking right now? Bob is three. Ava and Yelena are four and below the height and John is tall but way below the weight minimum.”

“... I’ll take that as a no.”

“Yeah no shit Buck.”

“Um, excuse me, I have to go potty really badly.”

Both men looked down at Ava as she tried hard to stop wiggling around, clearly distressed. Sam moved before Bucky could, swooping her up as he walked to the bathroom, 

“Oh well we can’t have you waiting little lady, let’s go to the porcelain throne room,”

He heard Ava giggle as they walked away, a long sigh escaping him as he flipped his phone back on, going to his messages to read the latest of what Val had unloaded on him. 

As far as she knew, they were still missing and he was home because he had to regroup. It was hard pretending he didn’t care about his team, but if it kept her off his trail he’d do it. 

Just as he sent a message about needing a day to figure it out he felt a hand on his thigh, small and careful. He looked down to find Yelena looking up at him with saucer eyes, had he never realized she had such big eyes?

“Whats up sweetpea?”

“Um, I was jus lookin for you and couldn find you thats all,”

why that made his heart squeeze, he wasn’t so sure. He scooped her up, hugging her as he inhaled, exhaling slowly. 

“Well, you found me.” 

She giggled as his stubbly beard tickled her cheek, wrapping her little arms around his neck. She was so innocent. So childlike. He wanted to bottle her up and keep her safe from what she was forced to live through.

“We’re going on a little trip, go potty before yes?”

She groaned, before pulling back to look him in the face,

“One more snuggle?”

He chuckled, before giving her another squeeze, 

“Sure thing grasshopper,”

He sighed, mentally preparing himself for the headache that would be taking five kids to the store when he caught sight of Alexei, doing a double take in shock,

“Alexei go put a pair of shorts on NOW!”

Corralling them was much harder now that they were awake and bounding with energy.

Alexei was still talking to Yelena about how she could decorate her room, the little girl on his back as they walked to the entrance of the Mall, and Sam added something here or there, Ava still nestled on his hip, happy to watch the world move from her perch.

Bucky had Bob on his hip, letting the boy play with his hair as he walked quietly, counting the people in front of him twice before he realized there was a mop of blonde hair missing 

“John?!”

“Hmm?”

Bucky almost jumped out of his skin at the sound beside him, looking down to find he had migrated from Sam’s side to his. He let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he offered his hand to the boy without a second thought,

“Hold my hand. This is a big store. You can get lost.”

John hummed again before taking his hand without hesitation giggling softly to himself 

“Oooh, cold.”

He whispered to himself. Bucky wasn’t sure what he meant before he realized he handed him his metal arm. Shit- 

It didn’t seem to matter to the boy, he was happy to hold it and  hum to himself as he walked beside the ex assassin.

It was in fact a huge store. And suddenly he was sick to his stomach that he’d lose one of them.

He felt a tug on his arm and looked down at the boy, humming in response to his action,

“Do you think I can get a stuffy if I’m quiet?”

That sat wrong with the super soldier. He pushed it off to answer his innocent sounding question,

“What if you get one just because you’d like one, does that sound good?”

“For true?”

He asked, sound the most excited he’s sounded at all since he’s been home. Bucky chuckled at his wording before nodding, not able to stop the smile on his lips.

“Yeah bub for true.”

“Oh! Ok yeah that sounds good,”

Bucky gently swung their joined hands, randomly remembering how he used to do that with his sister when they were little only to be pulled from his thoughts by two tiny hands grabbing his face to get his attention,

“Me too?!?! I wanna stuffy!”

Bucky snorted, seriously unable to stop smiling now at the sheer excitement in Bob’s face,

“Yeah you too, bug.”

It turned into everyone getting stuffies. Bucky wasn’t surprised, he knew the girls were going to want one once they saw John and Bob picking theirs out. Alexei said he would get one so he fit in. Yeah right.

Sam set to work on the list he’d made while Bucky drove them here, getting clothes and accessories as he rattled off things that would be useful to have on hand. Something about needing a different bath soap and cups that wouldn’t break, Bucky wasn’t really paying attention. All he wanted to do was watch each of his kids and make sure they all stayed safe. At no point did Bob want to be put down nor did John want to release his metal hand. He was perfectly fine with that decision on both counts. Alexei didn’t let Yelena down either, if he did he was holding her hand the entire time, and if Sam had to grab something Ava would cling to him as he did. She ended up on his shoulders at some point and she hadn’t moved since.

He had gotten several cold looks for John’s appearance, and presumably Alexei as well, but each time he’d responded with “car crash” or “foster care” and saw a change in personality almost instantly.

People and their fucking nosieness.

By the time they left they had enough to get started Bucky was sure they’d spent over a thousand, he didn’t flinch, it was Val’s money so he didn’t give a shit.

Lugging it into the tower was a feat of its own, he didn’t want to leave the kids but he couldn’t drag them back and forth so they ended up sitting at the kitchen table eating their lunch while he and Sam took turns going up and down to get stuff moved. 

He so badly wanted to go shower and sleep after getting it all inside, he watched them all talk and giggle over something he wasn’t fully aware of as Sam finished bringing up the bathroom supplies, stopping to stand beside the older man with his arms crossed,

“Go get a shower, take a nap, eat something. I’ve got them.”

Bucky turned around to look at his friend, blinking twice as he took his offer in,

“I don’t deserve your friendship, or help for that matter,”

He blurted out. Yeah maybe he did need some sleep. Sam for what it was worth didn’t react to the confession, he instead patted his friends shoulder before, moving to walk into the kitchen to put the food away, 

“None of us deserve anyone Buck, go rest, I’ve got the gremlins.”

By the time Bucky got done with showering Sam had the fridge and pantry stocked, the dishes washed, and clothes folded into piles of who’s was who’s. He didn’t so much as get a hey in before Sam ushered him into his bedroom and told him to sleep. Bucky looked worn all the way thin, he needed to sleep.

When he got back to the living quarters he did a quick search to find his kids, making sure they were all in his sights.

Alexei was laying on his stomach on the floor reading a comic book while Ava and Yelena played house with their new toys beside him, asking him to join in every now and then to which he was happy to oblige.

Bob was knee deep in kinetic sand, completely immersed in it, good. He needed something for stimulation. And John was nowhere to be found 

Wait

Sam felt his heart skip a beat when he realized he lost one in under three minutes but kept it cool as he walked into the living room,

“Alexei where’s John?”

Alexei looked up from his book with a raised brow, almost confused by his question,

“Behind you?”

Sam whipped around to find the boy in question laying on the couch, his knees drawn as he watched them play.

Sam let go of a breath, walking over to the couch to side by the boys head, reaching out to ruffle his hair without thinking. John flinched, and suddenly Sam was back to worried as he bent forward to catch the boys gaze,

“Hey what was that kid? You ok?”

John shrugged as much as his body could allow from his position, otherwise not answering. Red flag number 2.

Sam got off the couch and crouched in front of him, waiting for John to look at him. The boys eyes were red and teary, like he was trying not to cry. Red flag number 3.

“Awe bud what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

John shook his head as best he could as hot tears started rolling down his face, without hesitation Sam scooped him up in his arms, letting the boy curl around him as he buried his face in Sam’s neck, his tears wetting Sam’s shirt. Sam hushed him gently, rubbing his back to try and ease the crying before John flinched again followed by a small “ouch” when it clicked,

“Buddy are you hurting?”

John nodded still burrowed in the new Captain America as if he’d stop the whole thing by just holding on.

Of course he was in pain, he has been running around all day with various injuries and no meds. Damn Sam fucked up.

“Bud, next time you feel bad talk to me ok? I won’t know unless you tell me what’s going on,”

Whatever he said set him off, and instantly he went from silent tears to full blown sobbing,

“I’m s-sorry! I was trying to- to be a-a big boy I wasn’t being bad!”

What the hell-

“Hey hey hey buddy deep breath I’m not mad at you, you weren’t being bad, I promise,”

He stood up with him still in his arms, walking to the kitchen to get the pain medicine the medbay had given him this morning for John.

He spent the next three in a half minutes consoling the boy till he’d calmed down enough to take the medicine Sam had pulled out for him, pacing the kitchen with the boy until he’d calmed down, or run out of tears.

“You better buddy?”

He nodded, letting out a shaky sigh as Sam rubbed his back.

“You are not in trouble, I promise, just tell me things ok? I want to make sure you are getting what you need,”

John nodded again, idley playing with the hem of Sam’s collar with his uncasted hand. Sam walked back into the living room, seeing they were all still locked in their games. 

“Can you sit with me?”

Sam huffed softly at that, sitting down on the couch with a soft sigh, not letting go of the boy,

“I was already planning to kid,”

Sam listened to the ring go twice before she picked up, he was already expecting her to scream at him the way she was so he held the phone away from his ear as she did, 

“WHAT ON GODS EARTH DID YOU BUST OUTTA MY HOUSE LIKE A DAMN FOOL LAST NIGHT SAMUEL AND YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON,”

John stirred on Sam’s chest, before settling back into sleeping, as Sam sighed before putting the phone back to his ear,

“There is a sleeping five year old on my chest who’s recovering from the beat down of a lifetime so stop shouting,”

“What!?!”

Sam then proceeded to give Sarah the footnotes of the event at hand, ending with telling her that he’d be staying here with them for some time until they figured out how to correct the situation.

“Tell me when I can come by with the boys. Well make some food and I can walk you both through some of the parenting basics,”

He knew better than to fight his sister over anything, so he chuckled, shaking his head as his free hand went up to brush some of the tangles out of John’s mopped hair,

“I’ll let you know. Buck’s sleeping, so I’ll ask him when he’s awake,”

“You do that. Imma text him too right now so he knows I’m here. How is he doing?”

“Who Bucky? A little worse for wear and stressing out about his team but otherwise he’s Bucky,”

“Have you two talked about your little fit?”

Sam groaned, rolling his eyes at her choice of words,

“No we haven’t talked about the argument, we’re putting it on the back burner for now.”

“Mmhmm, alright well I’ve gotta go, text me later ok?”

“I will, now that you know I’ve got some stuff to send you.”

They said their goodbyes and he hung up, rubbing his face with a sigh before he felt the couch dip as the sound of struggling rusted by his knee. He looked down to find Bob trying to climb up, grabbing his pants to try and pull himself up,

“Want some help bubba?”

Bob looked at Sam with shock before nodding, making grabby hands to him. Sam chuckled before slowly moving forward to hoist him up with one arm so he didn’t disturb John, letting Bob scramble up on his other side, snuggling in before sticking his two fingers in his mouth as he sighed, clearly satisfied with his new position.

Sam snorted, but simply ruffled his hair as he went back to watching the girls play. 

It was calm, it felt like for the first time in so long that nothing was wrong. He hated how much he was enjoying the sudden change of life. He wondered if this hadn’t happened if he would have ostracized Bucky for longer…

Best to avoid that train of thought. Focus on the now.

John let go of a sleep sigh, rubbing his face against Sam’s shoulder in his sleep as Bob leaned heavily against Sam’s side, sighing again. Ava and Yelena were giggling about their dolls getting stuck in a closet full of cheese (kids games just never made sense) and Alexei flipped another page in his comic, humming a song to himself as he read.

The now was pretty good, secretly Sam was hoping it could stay this way for a while.

Dinner was Mac and cheese and chicken nuggets for the kids, followed by baths for everyone.

Sam took kitchen duty and Bucky took bath duty, both realizing after  Alexei got done that the other four could not bathe on their own.

Ava was not a fan of getting her hair washed, but she liked it when Bucky braided her hair afterwards, sitting in her new purple pajama dress. Yelena had far too much fun being slippy in Bucky’s hold, laughing hysterically as he tried to hold her in place to rinse off the damn banana smelling soap. She was still giggly as he got her dressed in her polka dot pajama set, and no matter how hard he tried Bucky couldn’t fight the amusement.

Bob talked nonstop the entire time, asking him how this worked or why that was the way it was. He asked about cows and flowers and the sun amd everything else under that. Bucky realized as he was trying to pull the matching puppy pajama shirt over his head that he hadn’t heard him talk much until then, the naps through the day must have been working their magic, he was just hoping he slept through the night. John was more chatty too, he told Bucky all about how Sam was showing him how to write even though he was using the wrong hand and how he was going to build a dragon out of legos (Sam had shown him clips from How To Train Your Dragon and it was all he wanted to talk about for the past hour) and how he wanted to be a hockey player when he got older (Bucky smiled and nodded telling him he could do whatever he wanted, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that he hadn’t had a free will for years now) as Bucky helped him out his Captain America shirt on.

For all the energy they had during bathing they simmered down as they got ready for bed. Bucky went to each room and said good night, giving each child a hug and kiss to their forehead before tucking them in, flipping their lights off as he went. 

By the time he’d showered and changed he crashed into the couch beside Sam who was texting fast on his phone but looked up with a half smile as Bucky joined him.

“It’s just Joaquin, he was wondering how you are, I said busy but good.”

Bucky hummed, thinking that was an accurate response. He was busy, far busier than he’d been in a while.

But the lightness he felt in his chest was unlike anything he’d felt in 70 years.

He picked his phone up from where he’d left it after he got home, not realizing he’d left it on the coffee table till then to check the latest news and messages.

“Sam, what the hell did you tell Sarah and why is she calling us new dads?”

Chapter Text

Bucky woke up in bed, grumbling as his alarm went off. He really needed another 15 minutes. 

“ GIVE IT BACK-”

“Hehehehe”

“AVA YOU ARE A BUTTHEAD-”

The sound of feet thundering down the hall woke Bucky up more as he listened to the sound of Ava and John screaming and laughing, he wasn’t entirely sure about what. Not much different from adult them, if he was honest. Some things never change.

He waited for a second before he heard the predictable third set of feet pound down the hall, shouting 

“ SAM JOHN SAID BUTTHEAD-”

He heard John scream in frustration, borderlining a whine as Yelena ratted on him, followed by the fourth set of feet running, 

“ WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE”

Bob screamed, more or less talking to Yelena after she, too, had gone. 

Some things never change.

He sighed, rubbing his face before grabbing his phone from the bedside table, swinging his legs out of bed as he opened his lock to see what messages he had.

Several missed calls from Val. Not surprising, he’d need to come up with another lie soon.

The sound of an older kid thundered down the hall just as he tossed a shirt on, getting ready to go outside.

“ SAM, I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT,”

What on earth it was, he wasn’t sure.

He also wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Leave that to Sam and Alexei as far as he cared.

He opened his door, taking a deep breath as he inhaled the smell of coffee and Eggo waffles. Alexei’s latest obsession. 

The screaming had stopped for now, it would pick up in a few minutes. That’s how the two of them ran after all. 

He stalked out to the living space, finding no one in the living room, so he went to the kitchen, 

“Mornin’”

He said, not realizing how gruff his morning voice was. He cleared his throat before going to find a coffee cup, pouring himself and Sam both a fresh cup. 

“Hey, I was gonna go get you after I got them situated.”

“No need, the shouting is a perfect alarm.”

Sam snorted, taking the cup from his friend as Bucky looked at the culprits at the table.

Alexei was eating unbothered, Bob was also following in his footsteps as he munched on his Eggo. Yelena was playing middle man between John and Ava, who were in the middle of a lethal stare down.

Some things just never change.

“What’s going on today, you two?”

Bucky asked, fully expecting them to start shouting at him at the same time. After settling the argument between them, he sat back, taking a long drink from his coffee. This may not be what he expected to become of his life, but he was finding that it was comfortable. Even if it was only a few days in. 

“Sarah’s on her way today, she said she’d stay the weekend if that’s ok.”

Sam said as he dropped into the seat beside Bucky, offering him a plate of eggs. Bucky hummed in appreciation before taking a bite, not caring to salt or do anything to his eggs. 

“She’s more than welcome anytime. You know that family is family.”

Sam smiled softly at Bucky, clearly wanting to say something before he pushed it off, instead leaning over and stopping the milk from spilling all over Yelena.

“She’s excited to meet them, she may have said she had some stuff to bring too, toys and stuff.”

“Oh, good, that way these two can stop fighting over everything they own.”

“She started it.”

“Nah uh!”

“Yeah huh!”

“Ava, Johnny. Enough, eat your food.”

The two huffed before going back to eating, occasionally staring daggers at each other.

Bucky wasn’t worried about it; in five minutes, they would be glued to the hip again. It’s just their dynamic. He doesn’t question it anymore, in this form or their adult ones.

“When do you have to go back to Congress?”

Bucky groaned, already not excited about that. Before he could answer, he felt a buzz in his pocket, 

“ I’m heading to the tower. I’ll see you in 30, we need to talk about finding these shitheads.”

“Son of a BITCH.”

The kids stopped in their tracks, some of them looking at Bucky in shock at his outburst, some of them freezing and hoping they were invisible to avoid catching a hand that would never fly at them.

Bucky felt his heart drop at his voice being the one to make them feel that way before he forced himself to calm down. 

“Sorry, I bit my tongue. You guys are good. No one is in trouble.”

Slowly, everyone loosened up, Alexei allowed Bob to crawl into his lap, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head, before going back to eating, handing the little one some food every other bite. Yelena went back to eating, not taking her eyes off Bucky and Sam, and Ava and John wouldn’t even look in his direction, Ava slowly drinking her juice as John pushed his food around on his plate. 

Now he had two issues to resolve.

He’d work on the one with the kids after, this was more pressing. He pushed his phone over to Sam, letting the other man read Val’s text as he took another drink from his coffee, trying to stop his heart from pounding. 

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

He really wanted to swear and yell so loud right now. And possibly punch several walls.

“I’ll keep the kids occupied in one of the rooms upstairs, you talk to her in the conference room below here, but in case she comes up, lets clean their shit up and lock the bedroom doors so she doesn’t go in.”

Bucky nodded in agreement, draining his coffee and downing his eggs so he could get a head start on cleaning. This day just kept getting worse-

*

He and Sam had it cleaned in ten minutes flat, after the kids had eaten, Sam got them dressed and teeth brushed before allowing them one thing to take upstairs to the training room where they’d be waiting.

Alexei took several comic books (somehow he’d negotiated that it was technically one thing)  

Yelena brought her Leap Pad, Sam collected Bob’s magnatiles, Ava decided to bring her coloring book, and John decided to just bring his stuffed dog, saying he didn’t want to play anyway. There hadn’t been a peep from him or Ava since the table, and the guilt was eating at Bucky as he helped take the kids upstairs; he hated to be a possible point of fear in his kids' lives.

“Ava, Johnny, come here, I want to talk to you.”

The two in question froze, looking at Bucky with a wary glance before following directions. 

Bucky squatted, pulling them both close to give them a hug, thanking God that they both fell into his embrace without a second thought, clearly not that afraid of him. 

“I wasn’t at all upset with you guys, ok? I’m sorry for scaring you guys like that. I just… There is a situation I have to handle, and it’s not good, but it’s not because of you guys, you understand?”

They pulled away, both nodding despite the tears in their eyes. 

His heart clenched as he wiped the stray tears from their eyes, 

“You are both very important to me, I would never yell at you unless I was yelling for you guys to hear me, ok?”

They nodded again before he gave them another squeeze just to reassure them of what he said, pressing a kiss to both of their cheeks. 

“Now go play nicely with each other or the others, I’ll be back in a few.”

They both nodded again before taking off, Ava reaching out to get John’s un-casted hand as she tugged him along, telling him he could color with her.

Oh, his kids.

He stood up, catching Sam’s eye as he did. The look of pride on his face made Bucky’s face flush, he hoped it wasn’t evident. He nodded to his friend before walking off to deal with the shit show that was Valentina Allegra de Fontaine.

*

He took a shot of whisky (who was he kidding, that was four shots in one big glass) before he heard the elevator go off, the woman in question stepping off with Mel behind her, 

“So you’ve had no luck locating them?”

“Do they look like they’re here, Val?”

He bit out, sounding way more pissed off than he was. It was good, it sounded the part he was trying to play.

“So what, you gave up? I’ll have you remember Barnes, you don’t have to like them for me to need them.”

“It has nothing to do with me liking them or not liking them, I have duties outside of cleaning your messes.”

He sneered, his blood running hot at her implication of them being her tools.

“Well, one of your duties right now is to clean up this mess.”

“It wouldn’t be a mess if you hadn’t sent them on a fucking suicide mission to track a head of Hydra-”

“Please, just because you have baggage with Hydra doesn’t mean they can’t be stopped. That’s exactly why I didn’t send you, you would have made it about you and your trauma or whatever the hell,”

He was just plain pissed the fuck off now.

“Any other insults you want to throw my way?”

“Yeah, when you do find them, let me know if their dead or not. I’ll hate having to reform a team, but I’ve got some runner-ups, so I just need to know.”

He was going to need to go for a run after this conversation.

“I’ll put feelers out and search between congressional duties.”

She sighed, throwing her hands in the air before she turned to leave, 

“If you didn’t know any better it would sound like you didn’t give a shit if they were dead or not.”

“Well, I know for a fact you don’t, so stop pretending you do,”

She laughed, no real joy in her tone as she turned around in the elevator, grinning at him in a distasteful way, 

“Oh honey I’m not even going to pretend I care about them for a second, just what those suicidal assholes are willing to do to drain the red from their ledgers is enough for me. Till I see you again, Barnes.”

The elevator closed, and the sound of the clock was the only thing in the echo of the room before Buck turned around and slammed his whole metal fist into a wall, causing a crater to form.

*

Sam watched them all play with each other, amused but not moving. 

Yelena had long since abandoned her Leap Pad, busy helping Bob build a spaceship, the two talking and giggling with each other as they did. John and Ava were both lying on their stomachs side by side, coloring, softly talking to each other about something he couldn’t hear, and Alexei was sitting beside him, reading, asking him to sound out a word now and again, but otherwise content to just sit by him.

It felt… right. He wasn’t sure why, but the last few days had felt right, for the first time in a long time. 

He wasn’t sure what to make of it all. He didn’t know any of them but John, and even though he’d been working through his own blind biases of John (he’d messed up several times in their first meeting, even if John was a bit of an egotistical hotshot) before this happened, he was not prepared to care so deeply for the kid version of him. Or any of them, for that matter. But he knew the moment he walked in a few days ago and found them all sleeping with Bucky that something had flipped inside him.

He would die for these kids, future selves be damned. 

“What is this word?”

Sam looked down, reading where Alexei’s finger had rested, chuckling to himself,

“It’s misguided. It means you judged something before knowing it.”

“Aaah, thanks,”

He ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately, idly wondering what Bucky’s conversation was like below them. 

He was sure he could handle Valentina on his own; he just wasn’t sure if it would end with a body bag or not.

He’d learn soon enough, judging by the text he got from his ex-partner, hopefully, he didn’t have to bury a body today, too. That’s the last thing he wants to try and explain to Sarah when she gets there.

*

Bucky came up ten minutes later, stormy eyes, but his body oddly calm. Bob saw him come in, instantly lighting up as he got up, scrambling to him 

“Daddy up!”

It stopped Bucky dead in his tracks, and without hesitation, he scooped the littlest of the group up and gave him a squish, nuzzling him softly on the cheek as the boy giggled. His entire posture changed the second he picked the child up, and he walked the rest of the way over to where Alexei and Sam were sitting with a half gait in his step, before putting Bob down as he squatted. 

“Why don’t you go play with Lena for a few. We’re going to go to the park in a little bit, but I’ve got to talk to Sam.”

Bob nodded before running over to play with his best mate, already rambling about what they could do at the park later. Alexei stood up, brushing off his pants before going to sit by John and Ava, looking at what they were working on to give the adults space. Sam looked at Bucky, who was still squatting in front of him, where he was sitting with his legs crossed, 

“What’d she say?”

“A lot of bullshit. Kept my cool, but I almost choked her out.”

“I believe that. What are we going on?”

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his soft black hair, 

“I’ve said they aren’t able to be found and I’m home because of congress, so I’ll be putting feelers out and try to find them as I am working.”

He didn’t tell him about everything else she said in response. It would just piss him off again.

“Ok, good. That gives us time, any word on how to reverse this?”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head, 

“Nah, don’t even know who I would go to for this… case.”

Sam hummed knowingly, before letting his head his the back of the wall,

“Sarah should be here this afternoon.”

“Good, we can take them to the park, let them run off the energy before bringing them home.”

*

By the time they’d gotten down to the living space, it had taken Bucky a few minute to corral everyone into putting shoes on, toys away and getting ready to go, Sam had gone down to get Sarah and bring her upstairs' the two coming talking at the Elevator dinged, opening to them walking in talking together, Sarah mid tirade as Sam followed silent behind her like a child being reprimanded, 

“And I don’t know why the hell either of you two thought it was a good idea to just 'wing it'.  I mean, are you serious Samuel, “Wing it”?!?!? Everything is a joke to you, isn’t it?” 

Sam rolled his eyes at the last comment as Bucky took a deep breath, prepared for the verbal assault he was about to receive, giving the woman a hug as she pulled him in, 

“It’s been a minute, Bucky, how’ve you been?”,

“I’ll let you come to the conclusion on that question,”

He sassed before pulling away, feeling a small piece of him calm down with her there.

“I’m sure you’re just a pocket full of sunshine and then some.”

He snorted, shaking his head in amusement as she all but pushed past him, 

“Where are those poor babies- oh my gosh,”

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at said babies. Bob was the first to move, stranger danger be damned, getting up to walk over to her with his connect blocks  held out to her, 

“Can you fix it?”

Her heart melted instantly, taking the toy and breaking the pieces apart so he could use them, before dropping to a squat to be at eye level.

“What’s your name, honeybun?”

“Bob! Who is you?”

“I’m Sarah, you can call me Titi.”

“Are you coming to the park with us?”

Before she could answer, she felt a little person behind her, holding onto her arm as she poked her head around, 

“Hello!”

Yelena said in a silly voice, giggling at Sarah’s pretend shock, and Ava slid off the couch to walk over to her, tugging on her sleeve, 

“Um, excuse me, are you hims Mommy?”

She asked, pointing at Sam. Sarah laughed as he sputtered, Bucky also chuckling, 

“Sometimes I act like it, no sweetpea, I’m his sister.”

Ava nodded, still playing with Sarah’s sleeve as Yelena rambled about her plans for the park, Bob using the blocks to build some obscure thing. Alexei was still watching her from his spot on the couch, wary but more trusting than he was a moment ago, and John was watching her intently from his spot on the floor where he was lying on his stomach, looking at a book. 

“Boys, this is my sister Sarah, she’s your Titi.”

“Titi…”

Bucky snickered as Sam elbowed him in the stomach, getting a huff sound from him at the action. Alexei nodded at the introduction, but John just looked between her and Sam, then at Bucky and her again, trying to make a connection. 

Before he could ask the kid to tell him what he was thinking, Sam announced they were going to the park, and just like that, all hell broke loose in the complex. 

*

The leashes proved to be one of his best purchases in the past 110 years of his life.

He work Bob on the little pouch on his back, and had John on a leash, the boy not really walking anywhere that he couldn’t reach out and grab Bucky’s hand, but there was every now and again he and the girls would take of sprinting only to be tugged back from their backpacks. 

Sam had Yelena and Ava on their leashes, and they were proving to be harder to keep from straying. Alexei walked with Sarah behind them, holding her hand as he told her everything they’d done in the past few days. He thrived when there was an adult to talk with.

“Let them run for fifteen before going back to make dinner?”

Sam asked, tugging slightly at Ava’s leash as she squatted to play with an ant on the sidewalk,

“Sounds good to me. Can you get a room ready for Sarah? I want to make sure she has somewhere to sleep. Are the boys coming?”

“I was planning on it. And no, they’re staying with a friend for the weekend. She’ll bring ‘em up next time.”

Bucky nodded, feeling John tug at his hand, 

“What’s up varóbushik?”

“Can I feed the ducks?”

Bucky patted his jeans to see if he had spare change, before nodding in approval, 

“When we get there, I’ll give you some change.”

John whispered a yes before skipping alongside Bucky, back to his thinking as Sam chuckled at his excitement, looking back to Bucky, 

“We’ll have to keep an eye on them.”

Bucky hummed. it was already something he was planning on doing, but he was glad Sam agreed. He knew some parents didn’t operate on the need to watch their kids' moves obsessively, but he was new to this all still, and he felt the need to watch them closer than most for multiple reasons. 

He also wondered when he started to refer to himself as a parent.

“Oh, Dad look,”

He felt John tugging his hand again, and Bucky blinked in shock at the name the kid used before looking in the direction he was pointing, 

There was a street person dressed as Captain America, flipping a sign that said something Bucky couldn’t read, but he wasn’t going to wait and read it.

He wasn’t sure why, but it filled him with a bitter feeling in his stomach to see someone wearing a cheap costume of his Steve, but he brushed it aside. 

“You really like Cap, don’t you kid?”

John nodded, looking up at Bucky with a lopsided smile, 

“I want to be like him when I grow up.”

It sucked. Thinking about how this innocent kid turned out, no thanks to everyone around him who failed him. He shoved that thought as far back as he could, as he swung John’s hand while they walked, 

“Maybe you will be. I think you’d be great at it, varóbushik.”

Sam didn’t add anything to the conversation, instead, he just scooped Ava up as she stopped in her tracks again, plopping her on his shoulders, 

“So you can keep up with us, rascal.”

She giggled, holding onto the sides of his face as he walked, 

“I’m taller than everyones!”

*

The park turned out to be a great idea. 

The kids ran off all their energy while the Wilsons and Bucky say on the bench, refereeing any argument that started or taking the random flowers Yelena was picking for them (Sarah had a handful already, Bucky had two different piles by his side and Sam had one tucked in his ear,) while catching up. 

It was nice, almost normal. No one batted an eye at the family on their outing; it felt good.

By the time they’d wrapped up to leave Yelena was on Sam’s shoulders, commanding the samship, as Alexei told Sam all about his newest obsession (he started watching dirty jobs on the iPad and he was locked in) Bob was humming in the back pouch and playing with a flower Yelena had picked for him, Ava was nestled in Sarah’s arms and John had resumed his spot at Bucky’s side, humming to himself as well as he walked.

It felt like an average Friday afternoon, like there were no worlds to save, no cities depending on them, nothing but a family of 8 on an outing.

He desperately wished it could stay that way. He was sure it wouldn’t.

As soon as they returned, Sarah corralled the kids, helping bathe the younger ones while Bucky went to make up Sarah’s room up, Sam had ended up swapping roles with him due to Bucky’s “severe lack of cooking knowledge”, which was fine by the super soldier, he liked making beds. 

Dinner was an affair and a half. Spaghetti is always a fan favorite, but so was the idea of launching meatballs, according to Yelena. Her meatballs ended up getting chopped up after the second one flew at Alexei.

Sarah went to get a shower herself as Sam and Bucky tag-teamed on putting the kids to bed, everyone getting a hug and a kiss before they got tucked in. 

It felt… right.

He never wanted it to change.

Chapter Text

Bucky never imagined his life could end up in a parental way. 

Sure, when he was growing up, he always used to say he was going to become a Dad and have kids, but then he got drafted, and he figured it’d have to wait till he got out of the war

He never did get out of the war.

And once he’d made peace with the fact that he’d never be able to parent, five gremlins fell into his lap, 

“DADDY!”

Bucky looked up from the dishes, losing the train of thought he’d had, 

“WHAT!”

“UH, WHAT IS FOR DINNER?”

He snorted, shaking his head fondly, before going back to washing the cups, 

“IT’S BURGERS, WHY?”

No response, that was how a majority of food questions went with Ava. She just liked to be prepared ahead of time. Especially when it wasn’t noodles or noodle adjacent. 

“PAPA!”

Yelena came running into the room, waving her paper around, 

“Here, this is for you!”

She said, jumping up and down as she waved the paper, waiting for him to dry his hands and take the picture from her. 

“Oh wow Lena, it’s pretty, spasibo.”

She giggled before giving him a hug, running back off to the living room where she was coloring. 

It’s been a week, and they’re starting to get used to this new normal.

Every now and again, Bucky thinks about adult them, wonders what and how they will get there (or if they have to. That is the most pressing thought) but it’s gone as quickly as it comes,

Sam took Alexei to the store to get stuff for dinner, so Bucky had just his babies with him.

His babies. Such an odd thing to say out loud, it’s probably why he hasn’t yet.

If he says it. Then it will become real. 

And if it’s real, then he won’t be able to let go.

He felt John beside him before John said anything. That’s just how the kid works. He’ll stand there totally silent and wait until he’s seen to say anything.

“What’s up,  varóbushik?”

“Do you think that if Goldilocks didn’t eat the porridge and break the beds and chairs, the bears wouldn’t have been mad at she?”

And then when he did say something, it was either concerning or mildly confusing. He was such an… adorable child. 

Not what he would have expected.

He chuckled, drying his hands on his pants before reaching down to scoop the skinny boy up, giving him a squeeze for good measure as John giggled softly, leaning into Bucky’s hold as he picked at his cast. It was now just red, and Yelena had drawn stars all over it.

“You still thinking about that?”

He chuckled, bouncing John slightly to get another laugh from him. 

He nodded, a small smile on his face as Bucky walked into the living room and plopped himself on the couch, pinching his nose carefully, 

“I think the bears would have been mad either way, that’s how bears are. Grumpy.”

That seemed to be enough for the five-year-old as he nodded, before snatching the book that was forgotten on the couch a minute ago, going back to reading it. 

That was three of his four. Which left.

“Have you seen Bob, kiddo?”

John looked up from his book and blinked, before shaking his head no. 

Huh, he couldn’t have gotten far.

“Hello? Santa?”

What- 

“Oh, I’m Bob, are you Santa?”

He walked over to one of the book shelves, finding Bob sitting on the floor with his phone (oh that’s where it was) on the floor in front of him as he leaned forward to talk into it, someone else on the other end,

“ I’m sorry- this is Bucky’s phone number. Who is this?”

Bucky swore, snatching the phone off the floor as Bob watched him, blinking in confusion, 

“Hey, sorry, Everett, it’s um a friend's kid,”

“ Oh, I was confused there for a second, Barnes, thought something had happened to you and you were kidnapped or something. Or that you kidnapped.”

Bucky snorted before holding the phone with his shoulder and cheek, scooping up the rascal as Bob laughed, enjoying the feeling of being whooshed into the air. 

“No kidnapping, just kid watching.” 

Kid raising, if he was being honest.

“ Alright well I’m gonna let you go, I’ve got shit to handle hear. Have a good evening, Barnes.”

“You too, Ross, thanks.”

He hung up before blowing a raspberry in Bob’s neck, getting a shocked scream of excitement from the child. 

“You troublemaker,”

Sarah had gone home a couple of days ago, and since then, was staying in contact through FaceTime, texts, or calls.

She was obsessed with the kids, but she also wanted to make sure the two were equipped to raise them.

Publicly, the new Avengers were taking a sabbatical, the news had a lot to say about that. But there were no threats, so no need to be in public. 

All had been calm on the Western Front, and Bucky was thankful for it. 

Val was still none the wiser. However long he could keep that up, he would.

“Alright, zajchik, you’re coming with me, we’re going to go switch laundry.”

Bob just giggled in response as Bucky walked to the laundry room, plopping the boy on the washer before he started to switch things around, humming to himself as he did.

It was a kind of peace he never imagined he’d be so lucky to enjoy. 

He heard the elevator first, then the sound of Alexei barreling through the room. Typical for Alexei.

“BE CAREFUL”

He shouted, chuckling at the sound of Alexei’s war cry, followed by John’s regular, scared cry. 

Those two were kinetic energy bouncing off each other some days. Today was one of those days.

They hadn’t been outside in the past two days due to the torrential rain they were getting, so they were bouncing off the walls whenever they were around each other. Which is why he sent Alexei with Sam shopping. It got the boy out.

“Hey, I’m gonna go unload the groceries, you good in here?”

Bucky looked up from the laundry, nodding as Bob let out an excited squeal, reaching for Sam. Sam chuckled hard before scooping him up, making the sound of a plane flying as he walked away with his favorite munchkin. 

He heard Alexei give another war cry followed by John shouting that he was a fart before the sound of two pairs of feet went running down the hall.

Life with boys was just that, sometimes, the sound of running and shouting. He stuck his head out of the laundry room, watching Alexei go to grab John, only for the smaller boy to slide out of the way, causing the older boy to crash into a wall. 

“Boys! I said Be careful!”

He stuck his head in the laundry room again, finishing the load of towels when he heard it.

The sound of glass shattering sent a chill through him as he bolted out of the laundry room and straight to the living room, where he knew the coffee table was. 

Alexei was standing in shock as John lay completely still in the glass remains of the expensive table Tony had custom-made for the Avengers. 

“JOHN,”

Bucky felt his heart pounding out of his chest as he ran over and snatched the little boy out of the glass pile, half hearing Alexei’s rushed apologies as he swore violently in Russian, checking over the trembling child. 

“John, are you hurt? Are you ok? Buddy, talk to me, are you ok?”

John shook his head hard, tears spilling hot and fast as a sob bubbled out of him, his hands coming up to cover his face, and Bucky’s heart rate skyrocketed, 

“Oh God, are you bleeding? Baby, talk to me what-”

“I’M SORRY,”

He wailed, shaking hard from both sobs and...

Bucky froze, realizing John’s shaking was more fear than pain as he continued to sob with his hands over his face, trying to cover his head. 

“PLEASE DON’T HIT ME I SAID SORRY,”

Bucky couldn’t move; he just knelt there holding John by his upper arms as gently as possible as the boy sobbed uncontrollably, and hot, horrible guilt flooded Bucky’s entire body.

“It was my fault! I was chasing, and I am oldest. do not be upset with Johnny.”

“Um, Papa, it’s my doll,”

Yelena was tugging Bucky’s sleeve with one hand, pointing at the forgotten toy on the floor that must have caused John to trip, 

“I sorry I forgetted to clean up.”

Bucky snapped out of his guilt trip to pull John close to him, hushing him gently as he rubbed the back of his head, kissing his temple as he rocked him, 

“I’m not mad varóbushik, you are in no trouble. Just worried, I am just worried you are hurt,”

He said gently, fighting the tears burning hot in his eyes as John wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his face into Bucky’s neck as he did.

“I will never hurt you. Ever. none of you.”

He swore, before looking at Alexei, making sure he understood the same stood for him, before he looked to Yelena, who was giving him the biggest puppy eyes, before she tilted her head to the side, patting John’s back. 

“See, Johnny, Papa isn’t mean. He’s nice.”

Bucky’s shoulder was soaked from John’s snot and tears as he looked up to see Sam standing there watching with Bob on his hip and Ava behind his legs.

The two had a silent conversation with their eyes before he stood slowly, holding John in his arms carefully before pressing another kiss to his temple, looking at the others. 

“I want you guys to go hang out in someone's bedroom so me and Dad can clean this up, ok?”

Alexei nodded before stepping over the glass carefully to pick Lena up and walk to his room with her, the little girl watching them still as he walked away with her.

“I’m gonna go take these two to his room and come back to clean this up, you ok?”

“We need to talk, later, not now.”

Sam nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder, 

“But are you ok?”

He let go of a shaky sigh, nodding once, waiting for Sam to nod back before he scooped Ava up with his free arm and walked them to Alexei’s room.

Bucky inhaled slowly, still bouncing John as the boy's cries softened, and before he could stop himself, he began to hum, gently rubbing the back of his head as he stepped away from the glass, his mind running a mile a minute.

Whatever had happened in John’s childhood must have been traumatizing.

Or he remembered somewhere in the back of his mind how Bucky and Sam treated him when they first me-

He didn’t want to think about that. He’d had enough sleepless nights on that lately.

His humming calmed the boy massively, and by now, he was resting his face on Bucky’s shoulder, just listening as Bucky cleaned one-handed, holding the boy in his human arm. John sniffled, now holding onto Bucky’s collar with his uninjured hand as Bucky worked, Sam walking in just as he calmed down, 

“You wanna go or tap out?”

“I’ll go, be right back.”

Sam patted his shoulder as he walked past before handing the new Cap the broom he was using to sweep up the glass. Not for the first time, he found himself cursing out Tony for his insanely expensive taste in furniture. 

As he walked away, he rubbed John’s back, stopping in the kitchen to sit the boy down and recheck him, making sure he didn’t miss any cuts.

Surprisingly, he was uncut. 

“You ok varóbushik?” 

John nodded, rubbing his eye with his fist before Bucky lifted his face by his chin gently, looking him directly in the eye, 

“I will never ever hurt you. Do you hear me?”

John looked at him just as close in the eye, blinking twice before nodding his head, but that wasn’t enough for the former assassin, 

“You are so important to me, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe and you are happy, that does not mean I won’t get upset or snap. But you need to understand me, Jonathan, I will never ever ever lay my hands on you.”

He inhaled slowly, before taking John’s face in his hands, brushing the tears that were building away with his thumbs, 

“You are my boy. All I want is for you to be safe and happy.”

John leaned into the touch, and Bucky sighed, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. 

“I’m gonna go take you to hang with the others while I clean up, ok?”

John nodded before reaching out for Bucky to hug him. 

The old soldier did so without hesitation, waiting for the young boy to break off first before he scooped him up and took him to the room to play with the others.

*

“It’s not normal.”

Bucky said, throwing another dustpan of glass into the heavyweight bag.

“I wonder if it’s repressed memories, maybe his childhood? I don’t know enough about his childhood, Buck.”

The silence that followed made Sam uneasy as he swept up the last pile of glass, leaving the floor spotless. 

“You don’t think….”

“Is it that far-fetched?”

They had no clue how their minds worked. Not really. These weren’t just five little kids, they were former adults with fucked up pasts and trauma out the wazoo.

“What if he does remember Sam? What if some of the reason he reacts the way he does is because he remembers how we treated him?”

Sam sighed, throwing out the pile.

“It’s entirely possible.”

And for some reason, that hurt worse than Sam denying him and telling him he was overeating.

It hurt because it was all true and horrible and completely his fault. 

For as much a pain in the ass John could be, he wasn’t always like that. 

He was nothing but kind to both Sam and Bucky when they first met. Offering olive branch after olive branch, only to be trampled on and spat at.

And then lose his dearest friend.

No wonder he acted like an asshole, Bucky would too if he were in his shoes.

“It’s my fault.”

“Buck, don’t do that-”

“No, Sam, it is my fault this time. With him at least. Bob, I had no control over that situation; he was born into a hellscape of his father's creation. I can pick up the pieces and try to fix them, but it wasn’t me who created the pieces. Ava lost her parents and became a toy to SHEILD. I can understand her, I can empathize, so I let her have some leeway on what she wants to eat or do because I want her to have agency over her body. Lena was born to be a soldier, so I let her be a child in all the ways she wants to and Alexei was created into some propaganda bullshit. I saw that happen to Steve, so I know how to stop it from happening again, but John-”

Bucky felt his heart pounding as the hot tears he’d held back before threatened to spill again, 

“John was a monster of my own making. Yeah I know the military fucked him up but so did I. I was so hurt by Steve that I took it out on him and just kept fucking going. I didn’t even stop when Lemar got killed. I just was so blinded by how much it hurt to see someone who looked like Steve and acted like Steve and had the goodness of Steve and I fucking turned him into a monster.”

He was crying now, tears of guilt and regret spilling down his face as he scrubbed hard to remove the tears. 

“I am horrible. Because that poor fucking kid just wanted someone to help him and I kicked him off a ledge and let him fall without even batting an eye. I’m no better than the rest of society, the military, fuck his own family. He’s not a letdown, he was let down by everyone around him.”

God, that felt good to get off his chest.

He was breathing hard as Sam held him by the shoulders, his hands steady as he waited for Bucky to collect himself. 

“You ok?”

Bucky shook his head, feeling the tears continue to spill as he let out a half-choked sob, 

“I- I’m sure Steve would be disappointed in me,”

Because Steve never gave up on anyone. Not even Bucky. He held out when he was a suicidal killing maniac, then helped him get back to a semi-normal state, and then…

Gave up on him. He left him and he went back to Peggy and he gave up on him and left him in this fucking hellscape alone and scared and hurting.

“You weren’t alone, Buck. you have me.”

He didn’t realize he said that all out loud. 

But God. 

It felt good to say out loud, too.

Sam pulled him in, rubbing his back with one hand and holding his head to his neck with the other as he let Bucky fall apart in him, holding onto Sam for dear life.

It was ironic how, not even fifteen minutes ago, he was on the other side of the mental breakdown.

“He left you, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for that. But I’m glad he didn’t give up on you. Or anyone else. And yeah, he may be a little disappointed but it isn’t like Steve didn’t do shit that was fucked up too.”

He ruffled the back of Bucky’s hair as he shifted his stance, pulling back so he could look Bucky dead in the eye, 

“He was human, fallible, and full of his own mistakes. Just like you and I and John and everyone else. It is what we decide to do with those mistakes. I’m no better than you, I knew what I was doing with John, and I continued to egg him on. I realized way too late how bad off he was. But now? We have a chance to make it right. Not just with John, but with all of them. To give them something they had never experienced. A home.”

Home.

That was what it had become over time. A home.

Bucky let go of a shaky laugh, rubbing his eyes, 

“I hate being emotional,”

Sam snorted, not yet letting go of Bucky’s shoulders, 

“Yeah, well, welcome to the club. Also, take some notes from John, he is emotional without a single care. God, that kid cries about almost everything. I love him, but everything is a tear-jerker.”

Bucky laughed, feeling the tightness in his chest come undone for the first time since he heard the glass shatter.

*

Dinner wasn’t burgers after all.

Sam made Bucky go get the kids and watch a movie while he made dinner. he wanted to make something from his childhood, comfort food.

He made jambalaya, half the spice with orange juice. (he made buttered noodles for Ava, and she housed them.) It was a hit. He promised to make more comfort food, and also made a mental note to get their comfort meals written down so he could make them when they wanted them.

John sat as close to Bucky as possible, resting his head on Bucky’s arm halfway through dinner as the others talked and laughed about the story Sam was spinning from when he was growing up, (omitting some of the details a child should not hear) 

Bucky took a drink from his orange juice, looking down at the little blonde who was humming the same song he’d hummed to him a few hours ago, clearly comfortable in the former Winter Soldier's shadow.

To him, he wasn’t a killer or some horrible person. He wasn’t a superhero or a congressman, or a war hero. 

To the little boy beside him, he was just-

“Daddy?”

Bucky blinked, humming in response to the name, 

“I think the bears would have been mad at Goldilocks for breaking the table. I’m glad you aren’t a bear. But if you were a bear, I don’t think you’d be mad at me. I wouldn’t be scared of you either.”

Bucky huffed a soft laugh before leaning down to kiss the crown of gold hair.

“I’m glad you aren’t scared of me too Zlatovlaska.”

Chapter Text

Nightime routines were simple enough.

Bucky and Sam swapped off on who did the dishes and who corralled for bed depending on who cooked that night. 

Alexei did everything for himself, he just needed to be reminded 900 times to do it before he did, so they worked the other kids in around his several reminders. 

Ava and Bob were the easiest to get ready for bed. by the end of the night, Bob was tired, cranky, and ready for sleep so he looked forward to his bath and snuggles after getting dressed. Ava just liked her pajamas so she was always eager to get in them. John was next easiest, but he was at the age where he wanted to do it for himself, but still asked a million questions on how to do whatever the task was at hand, or caved and then asked for help with his shirt after he couldn’t get it on. Lena was the hardest; she never ever stopped moving. It was a cardio workout to just get her into the tub.

By the time Alexei was finishing up getting ready for bed Bucky was putting the younger four down. 

Kisses on the cheek or head, a book read or a story from the past told, and then tucked in was usually what did the trick.

Alexei would go to his room to read comics after he got ready for bed, giving both Sam and Bucky a hug and letting them press a kiss to his head before he went.

By 8:30, everyone was in their rooms, and Sam and Bucky watched TV (he had so much to catch up on) and shared a beer.

He loved his nights.

Except tonight was different

Sam was back in Washington, working through something (a mission his Avengers had done in his absence), and he had Congress starting again tomorrow. Which meant they’d have to shift their life again.

He was considering stepping down from Congress at this point.

But still, he was on his own tonight, so dinner was frozen lasagna, and it was on paper plates.

He tossed the few things they did use into the dishwasher before filtering through the kids to get them ready for bed. 

Baby proofing the tower was… getting there. There were so many things he never realized were just not kid-friendly.

And each and every one of those things had almost ended up like the table at some point or another.

“Alright, bed.”

Bucky said, scooping Bob up as he rubbed his stubbly cheek against the boy’s face, getting the desired laugh from him as he carried him to his bedroom

They’d fashioned the bedrooms as best they could for the kids. There were toys in there now, amongst other things, and for each room a different kind of nightlight. 

Lena had a lava lamp, Ava had this little duck lying on its side, Bob had a constellation projector, John had a similar projector, and Alexei had a wall light.

It helped them fall asleep more easily. Somehow, Bucky hadn’t had any nightmares yet.

He was waiting for that to start. 

He put Bob to bed, giving him some snuggle time as he read to him Goodnight Moon for the thousandth time before kissing his cheek, telling him he loved him, and tucking him in, making sure he had his big cow stuffy.

He snatched Ava up mid race with Yelena to put her to bed, same routine of snuggle and book (her choice was always something by Arnold Lobel ) before he kissed her cheek and tucked her in, telling her how much he loved her.

Yelena and John were in the midst of a nuh uh/ uh huh fight when he scooped her up, the girl spitting her tongue out at her brother as he did the same in retaliation, Bucky shaking his head as he walked away to chuck her in bed, the girl going from sour to laughing in seconds. She was such a happy little girl. He hopes she stays that way forever. He’ll do everything to keep it that way. She enjoyed a story from his past each night, laughing like a little maniac when he told her about Steve’s recklessness as a kid. She's awarded a kiss on both the forehead and cheek before he tucks her in, pulling her ear gently as he walks out. 

John is last, he was currently doing a try at a handstand (with a broken forearm still mind you, this reckless little shit-) with his butt hiked in the air as he tried to position himself, completely unaware of Bucky behind him till the man snatched him up, getting a shrill scream in response before it switched to peals of laughter. He put him in bed before grabbing a book (where the wild things are tonight) letting John read it to him (this kid is fucking smart as hell-) then tucking him in with a kiss on his nose, reminding him how much he loves him before ruffling his golden hair and walking out. 

Alexei sits with him in the living room for a bit, they watch an episode of Jeopardy before he shoos the boy to bed, tucking him in and kissing him before he goes to bed himself.

It’s going to be a grueling ass day tomorrow, and if he doesn’t get some sleep he’s going to regret it.

*

He hears it in the dead of night.

He’s up like a fucking shot, bolting out of his room and down the hall to Bob’s room in a spilt second, scooping up the little boy as he screamed in fear,

“it’s ok, Daddy’s got you, you’re ok,”

He hushed gently, cradling him to his chest as he walked out of Bob’s room, down the hall to his room, kissing his head every few steps.

He eventually calmed down, still holding onto Bucky like he’d disappear as Bucky eased into his bed, pulling the covers over them. 

“Go back to sleep zajchik, Daddy’s here to protect you.”

It took some different songs and his gentle stroking on his back to get the boy to succumb to sleep again, and Bucky watched him sleep, not able to stop himself from mentally kicking himself. 

He jinxed the night for Bob by thinking that, didn’t he?

Well, he hoped it stopped here.

*

Should have known better.

He heard a shout of fear, then the sound of feet thundering down the hall, his door swinging open, and then, after several other feet thundering, he felt Ava launch herself into his bed, crying as she wrapped herself around him. Bob had mercifully stayed asleep.

“Oh kótik, bad dream?”

She nodded into his stomach as she held on a little tighter. He sighed, before reaching down to pull her up so she was resting with her face near his chest, he pressed a kiss to her head, rubbing her back. 

“What was it?”

“Um, I was all alone in a small box and I felt like I was shaking and in hurted.”

Her voice was shaky as she started to cry again. Bucky bit back the sigh that wanted to tear out of him as he kissed her head again, 

“You’ll never be all alone, kótik. I or Dad will always be there.”

She nodded into him, letting go of her own shaky sigh as she settled. It took about fifteen minutes of constant touch to get her to fall back asleep,

*

He was going to have to shoot himself for thinking.

The sound of a door banging open woke him up. he looked over at Ava and Bob, who were now fast asleep in each other's embrace.

Not them, that’s right, he’d already taken care of them. So it was-

His door was also shoved open hard as Yelena tore into the room, sobbing, scrambling onto the bed beside him in hysterics as he sat up and held her on his lap, hushing her as he rocked her, kissing her head and wiping her tears.

“It hurt so bad, they- they hurt me, I’m scared, I am scared Daddy, they are gonna find me-”

“No no no sólnyshka, never ever. They will never ever get to you. I will protect you,”

He felt his blood boiling as she continued to cry, her little frame shaking in fear, and just the overall power of her sobs.

It took her ten minutes to settle down, and his hand on her at all times to even fall asleep,

*

He thinks he should get a lobotomy for even beginning to think this wouldn’t happen eventually.

Like seriously why did he even dare to think that.

He didn’t hear John running down the hall, by that time he was pretty asleep, Ava’s foot all but on his head and Lena’s butt cramed into his side. 

He felt like someone was watching him and he woke hismelf up from the little bit of sleep he had to find John standing at the door, gripping it and trying to cry as soft as possible (and failing, his soft whining cries were loud enough for Bucky to feel like he was going to throw up) when Bucky sat up and frowned, 

“Varóbushik is that you?”

John nodded, but didn’t move from the door, his crying going from tight, soft whining to blubbering now. 

“Oh Bud, come here,”

He shook his head hard, holding onto the door like it would protect him, 

“Johnny what-”

“I’m scared,”

He whisper cried his sobs getting louder. 

Bucky wasted no time getting up to go over and pick him up, hushing him as he hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek, gently rocking him as he tried to calm him down, 

“What happened varóbushik, nightmare?”

He nodded burying his face into Bucky’s neck, 

“It’s ok, it can’t hurt you anymore I’m here-”

“He- he was so scary because he was hitting a guy over and over and over with Captain America’s shield and I was scared because he was gonna hit me next,”

He wailed, holding on so tight to Bucky that his little nails dug into his skin. Bucky felt his throat close up as he swallowed hard, pressing a kiss to John’s temple.

“No one is going to hurt you baby, you’re safe.”

“An I tried to call you but you weren’t listening you were ignoring me.”

Bucky let go of a shaky sigh, continuing to rub John’s back in soothing circles as he paced the room with him, stopping by the window to look out, 

“I will never ignore you. That was just a very bad dream, you are so safe here.”

It took a while to get John to fully settle, but eventually he cried himself out and fell asleep on Bucky’s chest.

The man slowly slid back into bed with his boy, resting him so he was sleeping inward to Bucky, his head still on his chest as he curled up. Lena stirred at the feeling of the bed shifting but only nestled deeper into the blankets to sleep.

“Five minutes. That’s all I want. Five minutes”

He said to himself more so than anyone else.

*

He got seven.

Alexei came into the room and tapped his shoulder, waiting till he turned his head to peer at the boy, 

“You ok Lex?”

He shook his head no, pulling at the hem of his shirt, 

“I had a bad dream.”

Bucky wanted to scream.

“About what Buddy?”

He whispered to him, feeling John’s stuttering sigh as he nestled a little deeper into Bucky’s hold. Alexei shrugged, looking spooked but not crying, 

“Think it was about me? I was in this place I’ve never seen before. It was cold and scary and I kept um, getting hit…”

Bucky patted the bed with his free hand, 

“Join the club buddy, we’re having a sleepover.”

Alexei gave him a weak smile, before clambering into bed, his back up against John’s before he scooped Lena into his arms, the girl instantly curling into him as he did.

“Love you buddy,”

Bucky said with a yawn as Alexei yawned back, 

“Love you too Papa.”

*

Sam came home around 4am, tired as hell but the situation sorted as best it could.

Bucky had to leave at 7, he’d be gone most of the day, and then home for dinner. It’s his first time back at Congress, he’s not sure how long he’ll stay

Bucky meant today, but Sam wonders long term if he will last more than a month. 

He must have been in bed, which was odd, Bucky was usually waiting for him on nights like tonight.

He went to get a shower, needing desperately to clean off the sweat and tired feeling in his bones before he crawled into bed himself.

The shower was great, but nothing could replace the way he’d feel getting into bed today. But first he needed to make sure everyone was accounted for. 

He stared in Bucky’s room. And then realized he didn’t need to go further.

Every member of the family was passed out on the bed, in various states of sleep, each one looking peaceful.

He smiled, before pulling out his phone to snap a pic, send it to Sarah and Joaquin, then go over to Bucky, tapping his shoulder, the congressman looking at him with confusion before relief. 

“Slumber party?”

Sam joked, and Bucky huffed a laugh, 

“Nah, I’m warding off their old demons who came knocking for them.”

Sam swore under his breath, nodding in their direction, 

“Nightmares start?”

Bucky hummed in agreement, before flopping his head down, 

“You have two options Wilson, go to your room and sleep, or take the other side of the bed and snuggle Bob and Ava for me.”

Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he rounded the bed, carefully scooching the two down before climbing into bed, pulling them both close to him as he sighed, feeling the weight of the day leave him as the weight of both Bob and Ava’s little bodies nestled into him.

“Good choice,”

Bucky muttered, his voice muffled by John’s unruly hair in his face.

Sam chuckled again, feeling Ava nuzzle her face into his chest as she yawned, clearly aware he was the one holding her close.

He hummed in agreement as he watched his family sleep. 

This all could have ended very differently. He almost just set Bucky up and told him he’d help whenever he could. He almost didn’t stay to see this journey out to the end. 

He almost missed out on moments like this…

Bucky was right. This was a good choice.

Chapter Text

“I assume it’s just a conference, I can be back by tonight.”

Bucky said, swinging around the corner of the island to grab his briefcase. 

The kids were playing in the living room as Sam finished breakfast, the other man nodding in response to the congressman as he rattled off some last-minute things, very clearly avoiding the actual leaving part.

“Buck. I’ve got this under control. You go do your thing and I’ll do mine here with the kids,”

Bucky held his breath, thinking several things before he exhaled slowly, running his hand through his hair, 

“I know I just-”

“Don’t want to leave them? I can tell Buck. but you’re going to have to. Today or tomorrow or eventually. So get the worst out of the way,”

“Oh, I’d love to hear what your idea of the worst is, Dr. Wilson-”

“The first day leaving your kids is always the worst.”

The silence between them and the statement was enough of a response. Bucky groaned, running a hand through his hair again, 

“Ok, yeah. Right. I’m gonna go say bye and head out.”

Sam hummed in response before something in his mind shouted at him, 

“Hey, Buck!”

Bucky turned around, raising an eyebrow as Sam turned the heat off the eggs.

“They’re going to be emotional, Lena and Ava are probably going to ask you why a thousand times, Alexei is going to try and ask if you can wait till tomorrow, Bob is going to want you to hold him and John is going to cry as soon as he realizes you’re really leaving.”

“What the fu- why are you telling me that?”

“To prepare you.”

There was a beat of silence before Sam sighed, leaning against the counter with his arms folded. 

“Make it quick, tell them you love them and go. Ignore the reactions, I’ll handle it once you go.”

“I’ll do my best, hopefully they don’t react like that.”

*

Lena and Ava both asked him at least five times if he really had to go, Alexei tried to talk him into going tomorrow, Bob wanted to be held, and John instantly burst into tears when Bucky said he was leaving for the day.

How Sam had clocked it was beyond him, it was also infuriating and he felt sick to his stomach the entire time he was on the subway. 

Sam had texted him shortly after promising that everyone had calmed down, Ava and Lena were distracted by a show, Bob was more than happy to snuggle with him, Alexei had rationalized that Bucky would return since he always did, and John was keeping to himself but not crying anymore so a win was a win.

They better pass a hell of a bill today because he was not liking the idea of being away for no reason.

*

Sam sighed, putting the last of the morning dishes in their places. It’d been a slowish morning, he didn’t mind it honestly, he was all here for it. Bucky had texted him several times for updates on the kids. He got a picture of the girls playing at the table, Bob playing with blocks on the carpet with Alexei, and a picture of John sitting on the counter ignoring the camera. He looked like a little Steve in that one for sure, all pissy about not having Bucky. DAMN the resemblance was uncanny. Sam said as much to Bucky and got a finger emoji in return. 

Sam knows he saved all the pictures on his phone, however.

“You wanna talk yet, kiddo?”

John shook his head, still avoiding eye contact from his perch. Sam snorted, before walking over to the other end of the kitchen to get his coffee, watching as John watched him from the side of his eye before going back to sulking.

He took a swig before going back over, scooping the boy up, walking into the living room, and plopping him down on the couch, handing him the fairytale book he loved, 

“Here, read for a bit. If you feel like talking, I’ll be in the kitchen with the girls, ok?”

John took the book, nodding before opening it up to start reading. 

Space was sometimes the answer, and right now, that seemed to be the one John needed.

Sam was happy to provide that; he needed to feel comfortable to regulate his emotions (especially if Bucky wasn’t there), and this was a good start.

He walked into the kitchen, leaning against the wall before Ava noticed he was watching them, patting at the table with a big, toothy grin, 

“Oh! Dad, come, come, you can be the wizard.”

“The wizard?”

Sam couldn’t keep the chuckle out of his tone as she nodded excitedly, watching him come to sit at the table. There were several oddly shaped lumps of playdough in front of them. he assumed they were “people,” but with Lena and Ava, it was better to just not assume anything.

“Yeah! We are making these into people, you can be the wizard since you can make people from playdough.”

Lena nodded in agreement before shoving a lump of pink dough at him. 

“You can start with Allan, he’s pink and fat”

Both girls broke into giggles at that, and Sam just shook his head, accepting the task at hand.

*

Bucky felt like he was about to choke someone.

They had spent the past three hours discussing… he wasn’t even sure. All he knew was that this was such a massive waste of energy.

He could be doing so much with this day, for starters, he could be home. 

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and his chest tightened slightly as he pulled his phone out to check it discreetly, 

Hey, let’s chat when you have the chance today. I’ve got an offer.

He hadn’t expected the text to come from Everett of all people, but he did feel the panic ebb away once he realized no one was in trouble.

Sure. you in DC?

He expected it to take the other man a minute to respond, only to get a thumbs up instantly. Huh, odd.

They sent back and forth on where to go, and what time to meet, before Bucky flipped to Sam’s messages, looking at the pictures Sam had sent him throughout the morning. His chest ached at the feeling of being away from his kids for as long as he’d been.

He loved the pictures, before going back to “listening” to the rest of them talk, fighting over something that meant nothing to Bucky. 

How long was this going to take-

*

Nap time was a definite need by the time lunch had rolled around.

Even Alexei would benefit from a nap today. 

Sam felt it had something to do with the nightmares that were starting to come back around. 

After pinching the bridge of his nose for the umpteenth time at the sound of Ava and Lena fighting, Bob and John crying, and Alexei grumbling, he decided to call a quits and send everyone for a nap.

After they were all in their rooms, he decided to take a few on Bucky’s bed, waking up about 15 minutes later to find the kids had migrated in there to sleep beside him. 

They were all cute in their sleep. They were always cute, just softer in their sleep.

It was the smell of coffee that got Sam’s attention first.

Had he started a pot?

He knew he didn’t. His stomach flipped with anxiety as he slowly stood, walking to the door cautiously before locking the kids in the room on his way to the hall, reaching for a concealed gun in the small pocket by the door of Bucky’s room (it paid to have that many areas for weapons to hide in an Avengers tower,) stopping when he heard familiar humming in the kitchen. 

“The hell,”

He muttered to himself before storming into said room, finding exactly who he’d thought he would there.

Clint was drinking straight out of the pot, scrolling on his phone as he leaned against the kitchen island as if he belonged there.

“Clint?”

The man in question looked up, before nodding to him, taking another swig of the coffee, before offering the pot to him. 

“Want some?”

“After you drank out of the pot like an animal? I’ll pass, thanks.”

Clint shrugged, before saying something about orange juice that he didn’t catch, finishing the pot off with ease before putting it to the side to get washed.

“What the hell are you doing here-”

"well, I used to live here.... kinda sorta, it was a long time ago though."

Sam sputtered, not totally expecting that to have been Clint's answer as the man gave him a half grin,

“Relax. I'm helping you out. Well, you and Bucky.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, not saying anything before Clint stood there, looking at him with a deadpan expression. 

“With the kids?”

“How the hell do you know about that-”

“Saw you guys at the park, dug around and put the rest together.”

Sam hummed with a nod, forgetting how smart Clint actually was sometimes.

“How can you help?”

That caused him to snort in amusement before walking past Sam, patting his shoulder, 

“Dad of three, I think I know a thing or two about raising kids. I’mma hit the pot quick, then we can chat,”

Sam stood there in shock before turning his head to the direction the former avenger had stalked off to, 

“Didn’t you already hit the pot-”

Chapter Text

Bucky walked out of Congress, trying to narrowly avoid having to answer too many cameras in his face (this was one of the more irritating parts of his new role), trying to get to the destination he and Everett had decided on.

Everett was, contrary to the public eye, one of Bucky’s closer friends. They had a simple understanding of each other, a mutual love of Wakanda and its people, and currently, after the news had broken about his new role as an Avenger, a very similar chip on their shoulder about Val.

Bucky was thankful enough to say that his chip was vastly different from her ex-husband's, but a chip nonetheless,

And while they were good friend, and they called to talk regularly, (hence Bob being able to pull his number up so easily) it was rare Everett was in the states. 

Something about a former mission that went askew and how Val had tried to have him put in federal prison, Shuri was not letting him out of her sight now.

So Bucky was more than shocked to see him standing by himself (the Dora nowhere to be seen) by one of the trees, on his phone, texting someone and clearly not paying attention to his surroundings.

This was the former decorated CIA agent and informant mind you, just standing outside of Capitol hill like he didn’t have a fucking target on is head and back for doing just that.

“Eve!”

The man about jumped out of his skin at Bucky calling his name, hissing when Bucky grabbed him by the arm and dragged him forcibly away from the public eye. 

“What the hell Buck-”

“You are going to get yourself killed you dumbfuck. Where are the Dora?”

“I don’t need a babysitter you asshole,”

“Yeah, says the same dumbass who was standing in plain sight,”

Everett grumbled but let Bucky pull him along, clearly no match for the taller, stronger man, 

“Nice seeing you again, too, White Wolf. Such a warm welcome back to the states,”

Bucky couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him as he continued to pull the shorter man along, looking like he was holding him hostage. He had an idea as to where they could go to talk, 

“Ok well, what did you need to talk to me about?”

“Wait till we’re out of earshot,”

“Oh now you’re a CIA again. Cute.”

*

“Alright, Clint, you’ve got like 30 minutes. What’s going on?”

Clint stretched, popping his joints a little before hoisting himself up to sit on the countertop, looking around the room,

“Shit. they changed almost everything in here…. Tony would have pissed himself.”

Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned against the countertop, 

“Well, Val did most of that. The team… honestly don’t know what they did and didn’t change, well now they’re making a ton of messes but that’s kids.”

Clint hummed with a half smile, giving a little nod in agreement, 

“Parenthood, one of the most rewarding shitshows a person gets to be part of.”

“Yeah, well. Not sure that’s something I’m cut out for.”

Clint furrowed his brow, looking a cross between offended and irritated that Sam said that. 

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just. You don’t see them as your kids? Because they definitely see you as their Dad.”

That shut Sam up. 

“I just. We don’t know how long this is gonna last, so I don’t want to-”

“Fall in love with being a Dad and then lose it all if somehow they find a way to reverse it? Bud, you’ve got to be looking for a way to reverse it for someone to do that. You guys haven’t been. So I wouldn’t worry about that.”

“Anything else you want to get off your chest, Barton?”

“Yeah, actually, Val is already on your case.”

He felt his blood run cold as Clint re-adjusted the ties on his sneakers. It was unnerving how calm he was acting, 

“What?”

Clint looked up at him before going back to tying his shoes, 

“You think I was just hanging out in Times Square for funsies? I heard through the grapevine that Countessa had a hit. Everyone leans in when she has something out.”

“I thought you didn’t do the Ronin shit anymore,”

“No no I don’t, but I keep my ear to the ground. Never know when it’s gonna be one of you guys on the block, so I try to make sure I can avoid it from happening.”

Sam felt uncomfortable, 

“So Have I been?
“You? Oh hell yeah, I took the operative out twice, John actually took one out a while back too.”

“Wait, wait wait, backtrack.”

“No, this conversation can be shelved for another day. What’s important right now is you and your five ‘not’ kids are in trouble. So is Bucky.”

The silence echoed for a moment, and whatever lightness Clint had had a minute ago was gone, 

“Now you know I will protect you and Buck. once a friend always family. That’s how I run, and I don’t know your kids well, but I do know Lena, and I am indebted to her. I know Alexei well enough to also need to protect him too. I know John and Ava from hearing the shit Val made them do, and I have no fucking clue who Bob is but I do know this; those are kids, and I’ll be damned if I let them get hurt over something that they can’t even fight.”

He hopped off the countertop, and suddenly, Sam was acutely aware he wasn’t looking at Hawkeye; he wasn’t looking at a former SHIELD master agent or one of the world's mightiest Avengers. He wasn’t looking at Ronin. 

He was looking at Clint Barton, a man who was driven to five years of horrific killing, all because he lost his kids and wife to a fight they couldn’t win.

“What are we going to do?”

*

“So…. do you like Congress?”

“I hate it.”

Everett chuckled, stirring his coffee as the two walked in the park. Bucky insisted he wear a baseball hat, Everett said it was dumb as shit but he’d do it if it made Bucky feel better.

“Gonna run for another term?”

“Eve, I don’t think I’m gonna make it past this term. Why in the ever-loving fuck would I run again,”

“Gotcha… noooo congress.”

He took a sip, before cringing, but took another right after it, 

“Wakanda really does have better everything.”

“Yeah. I miss it.”

“Now that we’re talking about Wakanda-”

“Well, you’ve only been beating around the bush for the past fifteen minutes.”

“Do you want to come back?”

Bucky stopped walking, and Everett a pace in front of him so he could turn around and face him, 

“What?”

“Do you want to come back to Wakanda. Don’t see how that’s hard to understand-”

“I can’t. I’ve got… responsibilities here.”

Everett raised an eyebrow in question, his face speaking volumes.

“I mean past congress.”

“Yeah, I know you’re implying the Avengers, which. Speaking of, how come they’ve all been radio silent recently? Nothing to punch and shoot?”

“No. thank God for that.”

Everett hummed, taking another sip of his coffee. Looking out at the other people in the park. It was a nice July afternoon, as nice as it could be with the heat in DC.

“We are trying to rebuild, and they want a liaison from America, but one we can trust.”

“Why can’t it be you?”

“America doesn't trust me dumbass.”

“Oh.”

They stood in silence again, and Bucky shifted his footing as he took a sip of his own coffee.

“What about the others?”

“Are you guys a package deal? Didn’t realize you moved that way, Buck, but to each their own,”

“Ross,”

“What! I’m just asking,”

Buck kicked his shin playfully, half smiling at the way Everett chuckled at the assault, before he felt something tug in his chest. 

He knew that Wakanda and Everett were more than trustworthy. But sharing this could be detrimental to his family,”

“Remember the kid you heard on the phone? The one I said I was babysitting?”

“Ok, odd left field to take, but yes? What about them? Is that another gig you’re into now? Geeze, Buck, pick a lane and stick in it.”

“No, no, it's um. I wasn’t babysitting.”

Ross looked at him again, every thought he had was readable on his face without him saying a word, 

“I didn’t kidnap anyone, Jesus do you think so little of me-”

“Well, you’re not giving me a lot to work with, Buck. What am I supposed to assume?”

Before he could say anything, he felt his phone buzz, Sam’s name coming up on the caller ID. 

Bucky felt his chest tighten as he answered the call.

“Are they ok?”

It was the first thing out of his mouth, and clearly, that confused Ross even more.

“ When can you get home?”

That was all Sam said in response. 

“I can leave now, what is going on? Is everyone ok? Did someone get hurt?”

“ Jesus Sam, way to scare the shit out of him. Give me the phone- Bucky, this is Clint. I’ve got some shit to shoot with you, can you dip from the rest of your little congressional tea party?”

If Bucky wasn’t stressed before, he sure as hell was now.

“We’ll be there in a few hours.”

“ Who’s we?”

Bucky hung up as Sam asked, looking to Ross, who wasn’t even bothering to hide his interest in the phone call. Nosey bitch.

“Well. you’re about to find a whole lot out in a short span of time.”

*

Clint watched Sam pace, on the phone with someone who he was asking if he could get there soon, and something else, before he got the text he’d been waiting for, 

I’m in your walls  >:)

He huffed a laugh, before getting up and going over to the window, taking a picture of the girl standing below on her phone with her dog at her side. 

Use Yelena’s information and get your ass in here. We’ve got some stuff to take care of.

THAT’S MY LOCATION

He had no idea what that meant, but he just sent a laugh and went back to the couch, only to stop, feeling the presence of a child watching him, he turned, looking in the hall, and almost shit himself at the sight of a tiny kid peaking around the corner.

“Hey, kid, you up from nap?”

She blinked, but nodded, clearly not sure if she should trust him or not. So Clint squatted and put his hand out, 

“I’m not gonna hurt you, peanut. My name’s Clint, what’s your name?”

“Ava,”

She whispered, still not fully coming out, however, she was more interested now. He was about to try again to encourage her out when another kid came tumbling out, clearly about to say something as he was rubbing his eye, but he stopped, looked Clint dead in the eye, and snatched Ava up and out of the way, panic clear in his expression. 

“DAD?”

Sam whipped around, looking at the kids in the hall and then at Clint before sighing, 

“I’ll call you back, Joaquin, kids are up.”

He hung up before going over to the hall, picking up Ava, and taking the boy’s not-casted hand, leading him into the living room.

“Johnny, this is Clint. He’s a friend of mine, don’t worry. Clint, this is John and Ava.”

“No shit.”

“Dude. Kids present?”

“Oh shit right. Sorry, don’t say that word, it’s bad.”

John giggled but stayed hidden behind Sam’s leg, and Ava nestled into Sam’s arms with her own giggle. He would not have   clocked these two anxious kids to be the mercenaries Val had sent on several total wipeouts.

“The others are Lena and Alexei, you know them and Bob-”

“DAD I LOST MY TOOTH-”

Yelena came running into the room with her tooth, only to startle at the sight of Clint, something flashing in her eyes before she screamed and ran to hide behind John, crying.

It made Clint want to kill himself. 

“I had a feeling she, um, may be scared of me.”

He muttered, standing up as Sam put Ava down and picked up the crying girl instead, hushing her. 

“Oh, honeybun, that’s my friend Clint. He’s good, don’t worry.”

“He- he looks like the bad guy in my scary dream,”

Sam saw the way Clint tensed and the way his eyes got teary, but the man hid it well to the naked eye, 

“He’s not a bad guy, pumpkin, I promise. He’s good, he actually came to help us, isn’t that nice?”

“Do you know Daddy?”

John asked, obviously curious enough to come out from behind Sam now, 

“Um, Bucky? Yeah, I know him. He’s great.”

“Does Daddy like you?”

Oddly pointed question- 

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

John nodded before tugging on Sam’s pants, making grabby hands for Yelena. Sam raised an eyebrow, but let the little girl down, and John (in all his little stature) half picked her up and whispered something to her. She shook her head and said something back to him. He frowned, kissed her nose, and then said something else. And with that, Yelena turned around and looked at Clint, 

“You won’t hurt us?”

It really took everything in Clint not to start crying, 

“No kiddo, I’m trying to protect you right now. I promise.”

“See? Daddy wouldn’t like someone bad. Only good guys. Only heroes.”

Clint watched as John led Yelena away to the living room before coming back and snatching Ava, pulling her along and saying something about a game to play.

That kid…

“Did he have younger siblings growing up?”

Sam blinked, rubbing the back of his neck, 

“Who, John? Not sure. I… I actually don’t know a lot about him. He’s a good kid, very protective. Very emotional. But a great kid.”

Clint hummed, watching the three of them play in the living room as a warmth hit him, hearing Sam mention he was going to get Bob and see if Alexei was up.

*

Kate waited on the elevator, Lucky sitting beside her calmly, wondering what on earth Clint could need that he would show up at her apartment unannounced, redbull in hand for her and his already half gone before he told her they needed to move out fast. Giving her the coordination before dipping. 

He was odd, but he was like a father to her. She loved him.

She hadn’t expected the old Avengers Tower,

And she was definitely not accepting to walk in and find Sam Wilson with a chubby toddler on his hip, talking to Clint, the older man sitting on the edge of the couch, listening.

“Who’s this!?!?”

Kate about tripped over Lucky on her way over to play with the baby, instantly feeling like she was going to explode when he started giggling and smiling at her, 

“Oh, Kate. thanks for finally getting up here. That’s Bob, over there are the rest of the A-squad. Orient yourself with them quickly because we’re gonna roll out as soon as Bucky and whoever get here.”

Kate blinked at Clint before looking back at the baby, then at Sam, and then slowly peaking around Clint’s shoulder to find a group of kids.

And one of which looked eerily similar to Yelena.

Her mind moved faster than she’d expected as she looked back to her mentor, pointing in the direction of the kids, 

“Yep.”

He said, looking 10x more tired than he had when she saw him this morning.

“And they’re?”

“Little? Yep.”

“Huh…. did not expect that.”

“Welcome to the club, go talk to the kids.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,”

She scooped Bob out of Sam’s arms, leaving the new Cap stunned by how easily Bob went to her before practically skipping over to the kids, sitting on the floor beside the older on. 

“So what are we playing?”

Clearly, little blonde had not heard her; he jumped like a cat at her arrival, looking at her in complete shock. Oh, that had to be Walker. Dang, he was a cutie. 

There was a little girl beside him, darker than the rest of them, who also looked up, slightly offended by her arrival, but nowhere near as skittish. That had to be Ava.

Older boy reached for Bob, the little guy going over to him with ease, this must be Alexei, and she felt little hands on her lap, looking down, she found a chubby-faced faced sweet girl with unruly blonde curls, a mixture of excitement and confusion in her features 

“Lena! Hello, remember me?”

She shook her head but looked positively delighted that Kate knew her. 

“It’s Kate!”

She scooped Yelena up, giving the little girl a hug, before spinning her around and plopping her on her lap. 

“Alright, show me how this works, what’s the game?”

“Um, well, it’s Hungry Hungry Hippos. Do you play that?”

John asked, tipping his head to the side like Lucky did whenever he was confused by something she did. Oh, this kid was a cutie, 

“It’s been forever since I have. Show me the ropes Johnny.”

He giggled, but went about explaining it to her, and Ava cut in every now and again to explain ‘our rules’ vs the ones John was explaining, something about running around after you win. 

Lucky had come over and plopped down next to Alexei, the teen giggling softly before he played with the dog's ears, petting him gently. Bob was also completely taken. 

The others loved Lucky too, but were excited to loop her in on the game.

Kate picked up some things being said between Clint and Sam, pieced the rest together while she entertained the younger Avengers, her mind spiraling.

How did this happen? Is this why they have been MIA since that mission at the beginning of the summer? She’d been worried they had died. 

That’s why, after fifteen unanswered texts from Lena, she’s about to break down the door to the WatchTower

Clint came before she did that, kudos to him.

For now, she’d just enjoy the girl's weight in her lap as she watched the three preschool kids argue and play with the game, near crashouts avoided by her delegating. (dang these kids were little ticking time bombs just like their adult counterparts for REAL) 

*

By the time they’d gotten back to the WatchTower, Bucky had fully filled Everett in, heard an earful of how he should have come to Wakanda earlier because Shuri was sure to have something to fix this, and then also called Sam twice, only to get quick answers from him. 

Val knew Clint was there because he found out she’d put a hunt out, and Kate was there too.

Great

Perfect

More people.

“So it sounds like laying low is what’s going to be your best shot.”

Everett said as they walked over to the entrance of the tower, Bucky felt like his heart was pounding. 

“Yeah, yeah, probably.”

“Got somewhere to go?”

He could crash at Sarah’s, he knows she’s going to offer that. But the last thing he wants is a shootout at her home if some fucking assassin shows up for the kids.

Bucky had an old place in Brooklyn, he’s not sure it’s still around. And Sam has a place with Joaquin, but he isn’t sure he wants the kids near DC. If he rented a place, Val would track his card, if Sam does, he risks getting targeted-

“Nope.”

They got into the elevator, and just before Everett opened his mouth to say something, his beads rattled, 

“Shit.”

Both Wakanda whites said, knowing exactly who was reaching out to Everett. There was no use ignoring the Queen of Wakanda. She’d just call again. 

So he bit back a sigh and answered her call, 

“I can explain-”

“ START TALKING, WHITE BOY. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

“I was fine to go alone!”

“ NO YOU ARE NOT. I SAID THE DORA GO WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.”

“Shuri-”

“Wisdom is chasing, but you are somehow faster, which is shocking at your old age-”

“ Alright, I’m done.”

“Hi Shuri,”

“ White Wolf! How kind of you to pick up the stray runaway,”

“I am literally here to talk to him about being a liaison. You asked me to do that.”

“I also asked you to take two Dora.”

“I’m never hearing the end of this.”

“ Prudent of you to understand this, Barnes. What is your answer to my proposal?”

The elevator went off at the same time she asked, and before he could answer, all the kids turned and saw him from their spots at the table and lost. Their. Shit. 

“ Are those children screaming?”

Yelena, Ava, and Bob threw all cares to the wind and scrambled from their spots a the table, racing to jump him, getting spaghetti sauce on his dress pants. he couldn’t care less as he scooped them up and gave them all a hug, pressing soft kisses to their heads, 

“Bob, Girls, dinner, come on, let Daddy go change.”

Sam’s voice rang out, and the kids did scramble to the table, Bucky looked  up at the group that was sitting there, doing a headcount; Kate was sitting with Yelena now on her lap again, eating her food while talking to Alexei, who waved brightly to him with a big grin, Kate threw a salute his way. Sam had Ava on his lap, letting the girl eat her spaghetti while he mouthed are you ok to Bucky, who nodded, before he threw a look behind Bucky, presumably to Everett. 

“We’ll talk after.”

Sam nodded before going back to eating. Clint also threw a salute to Bucky, Bob back on his perch on his lap eating. 

That left.

John was purposely looking down at the grain of the table, completely ignoring Bucky’s existence, his usually soft blue eyes hard and teary.

It was very clear he wanted nothing to do with Bucky. And for some reason, that hurt more than anything could. He looked at Sam, who shrugged in response, 

“Did great after nap, this is all new. As soon as you walked in,”

Huh. So it was him, 

Bucky nodded before turning back to Everett, who’d finally gotten Shuri to hang up as he sighed, running a hand down his face, 

“I’m gonna go change. Bathroom’s on the right end,”

Everett nodded before walking off in that direction, pulling his phone out to send a message.

He really never stopped working on something.

Bucky looked at the table again, at John to see if there was any change, and found none, and went off to his room, feeling slightly like a kicked dog.

*

Bucky got back for dinner a few minutes later. Everett and Clint were catching up, talking softly to each other, Sam was scrolling on his phone, and the kids were all talking over each other with the exception of John who wasn’t even pretending to eat now, just sitting in his chair with his knees drawn up and his arms hugging them close.

He’d give him space, the kid will talk when he’s ready.

He sat by Sam, letting a deep sigh escape him, 

“I have nowhere safe to take them.”

“Sarah-”

“It isn't not an option. If something happens, it won’t be good.”

“My place?”

“In DC? Yeah, let's just camp out where there are tons of eyes.”

“Ok, well, didn’t you have a place in Brooklyn?”

“Definitely got cleaned out and sold.”

There was a bit of silence for another minute before he looked at the two ex-agents, and then back at Bucky, 

“What did Ross need?”

“Oh, it wasn’t a need. Shuri’s looking for a liaison; she wanted me. I have too much on my plate.”

“Ok, but Wakanda is a safe haven.”

Bucky looked at Sam, frowning slightly, 

“I’m not going to use the people who’ve given me so much.”

“Not using Buck. I’m saying let's go, tell them we’re trying to find a refugee and that you want to talk about her offer. Do you want to talk about her offer?”

“I have other obligations,”

“Do we really want to have that conversation right now?”

Bucky huffed, looking at the kids before looking back at Sam.

“Lets get them to bed, and leave early in the morning. 3am. No one will be looking.”