Work Text:
It was a quiet day in April.
Jimmy was hanging out with his boyfriend of 5 years today. Since the end of high school, Gary and Jimmy have been together enjoying a semi-stable romantic relationship, leading for the both of them to an overall better mental state than the ones they had when they first started dating. Jimmy was now into the 1st year of a master's degree in public law and Gary had a repeat of his last physics bachelor's degree because of family issues that had him travel across the country and miss almost all of his classes for his first semester. During that hardship (and all the ones he had to endure in this relationship- which they were many) Jimmy had always supported him the best he could, always offering a listening ear and reassuring arms to comfort his lover in.
But, has much as Jimmy has learned to be patient and not solve everything with his fists and poisonous comebacks, this time Gary had crossed a line that was too far for Jimmy's benevolence.
Has they came back form the pizza place they ate to, in which Gary already had a sour mood and rudely spoke to staff there - making Jimmy embarrassed-, the conversation drifted onto Jimmy's mother. For the last few years, Jimmy's mother had settled down with that old dude she went on a cruise ship with back at Bullworth. At first, Jimmy was skeptical of the man but changed his mind over time, seeing how his mother became much happier with a more stable life and a surprisingly good husband. Even though his childhood had been a bit rough sometimes, she would always be there for him and they had a bond like no other between them, simple looks could make a whole conversation between the two.
So when Gary took it upon himself to judge her while knowing nothing about who she was, Jimmy had felt has though he was stabbed in the chest.
He wished for them to work, really. They had a life planned together, marriage, a family house in mind and a cozy lifestyle with careers all traced. Jimmy had even started to think about marriage expenses, what ring to propose Gary with, where to take him, what to wear... all of it crumbled down to that moment. Jimmy had some questionings about his feelings towards Gary has their relationship grew and more disillusions came over like trucks thrown to him: Gary being unsure of his love, his thoughts about cheating, having lonely sexy time to his ex's nudes, betrayal of feelings, crushing depression issues- you name it, Jimmy has taken it all and forgave Gary every time, all because of love and devotion to the man he loved like no other before.
"You know Jimmy, I don't think your mom is a good person" he said to Jimmy with disdain in his voice "Her way of telling me it's time for me to go back home, or when she doesn't want to make us dinner when I'm over is downright disrespectful" he continued "Her beating over the bush is vile, hypocritical and weak-minded". Jimmy stood there, dumbfounded about what he just heard coming from Gary's mouth. He sighed, upset, his frown forming between his eyebrows, knowing Gary had a peculiar way of interacting with people and understanding social cues such has your mother-in-law is not your servant and you're not entitled to anything in her own house, Jimmy tried to explain: "You know she's a little anti-social, she likes to have her own space in her own house and she has the right to get it. I don't know why you're straight up insulting her when really sometimes you go overboard. Heck even when I tell you it's too late and you have to go you extend the time and you don't listen to me. I can take your shit but don't blame my mother on this".
A pit forming in his chest, still hoping that Gary would just apologize and move on was a lost cause. He knew from experience that Gary was difficult to handle and scarcely lacked emotional and social intelligence. It was hopeless from the start but he clung onto it, but Gary didn't stutter and drifted off to other various topics with anger and blame in his voice has Jimmy tried to talk it out. He felt like an emotional punching ball to Gary, has the other man latched is hate of everyone, society and almost everything onto him, even blaming him for things he didn't do or didn't think. He tried searching for an escape in Gary's words but to no avail. And, has Jimmy felt emotionally trapped in this mindless conversation, he managed to end it diplomatically and finally get home from that nightmarish hangout.
Has he got to his parent's home, his mother was waiting for him, half asleep on the cough, the tv running on some random show at the oven's clock indicated '00:16'. It was too late for his mom to be up and she still waited because she worried. Gary knew this but still chose to hold Jimmy and babble about his ideologies and his view on life and shit. It was tiring. What as our relationship come to? Do I want this in a relationship? Do I deserve to be treated like this? he thought has his eyes started to water and throat got heavier. His mom, waking up slightly to welcome him immediately noticed something went wrong. Unlike Gary's wish, Jimmy told his mother everything that went through that night; vented out his feelings and felt the hopelessness sink in, the emptied cavity in his chest that his relationship dug deeper and deeper. His mother sympathetically offered comfort but no advice, has she told Jimmy that his relationship and love life are his choices only and if he had to break up with Gary it would be his decision only. Jimmy understood that stance, given his mother's examples throughout his childhood.
In about a week of endless thinking and asking friends for advice, Jimmy's brain and heart finally settled on an agreement. For his better good, he would have to break up with Gary.
So that's what he did. He did not want to see Gary or even talk to him on the phone, has he knew that Gary's manipulation could lead in Jimmy forgiving him yet again for something that deserved a breakup. He texted him, detached, explaining what was going on, what lead to that decision and his goodbyes. Gary answered with numerous texts and call attempts, going from gaslighting to elaborate excuses, genuine feeling dumps, and begging for him to come back.
Gary finally gave up and accepted that their 5 year relationship was over, all due to his lack of love, intelligence and devotion towards Jimmy.
Mixed feelings where now occupying Jimmy's mind, but the strongest was emptiness. It was not sad emptiness, the sadness had long been gone but it was rather a still feeling of getting things done, like a random task without any satisfaction. A slight relief left his shoulder has he announced the news to his family and friends but, he dedicated so much that he felt like an empty shell without the emotionally ambiguous relationship that was a great part of his life. But now was not the time for that. Finals where approaching and it at least got Gary of his mind a little but still-
It was another quiet day in April.