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“I know I’m a hypocrite for saying this, but when was the last time you slept?”
Rook sighed, looking up at Lucanis. “I’m fine. This is nothing.”
Compared to what the people of Minrathous must’ve felt, at least.
Since her decision, she’s witnessed the effects of it. How heavy they were. She knew there would be consequences for the choices she’ll make along the way. But it doesn’t get easier. It will never be easier — and that was for the best. Once it stopped weighing her soul down, it would’ve been a sign she stopped being the right person for these decisions.
Neve assured her that she understood her decision; but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was tired. Long hours handling the aftermath of the attack drained her spirit.
With so many injured, she thought it would be the right thing to lend a hand. A spirit healer like her was highly valuable. Quite necessary in these times. This was the least she could do.
Even if it didn’t rinse away the sin she’s committed, she felt restless.
But just as she was about to head to the next infirmary, Lucanis blocked her. His lips pulled into a tight line.
“You’re wearing yourself out. Take a break just once,” he told her, “You’ll drop dead if you keep pushing yourself like this.”
“I said I’m fine!” She snapped. Her eyelids felt heavier — but she kept fighting the drowsiness. “You don’t have to coddle me, Lucanis.”
Before he could respond, her vision went dark. Her body dropped. The last thing she heard was Lucanis’ shout.
“Rook!”
Rook woke up to a bleak grey sky. She sat up.
Shit. She must’ve passed out. Maybe Solas could will her awake? Ah, but he said he can’t control her outside of this place. Though, she wasn’t sure if he was being honest — given that he’s the god of lies (depending upon the story).
“Rook.” Solas’ voice interrupted her.
She turned to see him, standing there — looking more displeased than usual. Amethyst eyes pierced into her.
“Care to explain your dark circles and bloodshot eyes?”
Double shit.
She panicked. “Well, it’s so bleak in here. Perhaps my appearance simply reflects the atmosphere.”
“I’ve met you in this place many times now. ” He scoffed. “Always radiant like the moon and never once have I seen you so worn out to the point of physical signage. Try again.”
“Careful, Solas. You’re awfully close to flirting,” she teased, in hopes of diverting his attention.
His glare hardened. “The state of your being is vital if you want a sliver of a chance against the gods, Rook. Stop dodging the question.”
Rook’s lips pulled into a tight line. She couldn’t retort against that!
Solas studied her carefully. He stepped closer. “You haven’t been sleeping, have you?”
“I was just healing people affected by the attack in Minrathous.”
“And you just happened to work yourself to the point of deathly exhaustion?” He raised a brow.
Haliya frowned. Her body tense. “I’m the one who made the decision, so I must take responsibility for it.”
For the briefest moment, a glimmer of understanding sparked within his eyes. Solas shook his head.
“You’re no use to the people of Minrathous, or your team, like this,” he said, “Finding the archdemons should be your first priority. Think of it as destroying something that could threaten Minrathous again.”
“I know, I know. But it’s been difficult sleeping ever since seeing… all of that.”
Rook sighed, sitting at the edge of the platform. She looked at the ravine that separated them.
“I figured, I might as well use the time to fix what I caused.”
After all, why must they alone bear the weight of her decision? A little bit of exhaustion was nothing compared to the pain they must’ve felt. All the lives taken.
Solas stared at her. He stepped closer, kneeling down to meet her at eye level. “Harding has a garden, doesn’t she? Perhaps you can ask for some lavender.”
“Lavender?”
He nodded. “It’s a good remedy for insomnia. Drinking it with warm milk may ease your restlessness.”
She took a mental note of it. “Alright, thanks.”
Solas wasn’t so bad when they weren’t at each other’s throats. If only circumstances were different. Maybe in another life, they’d be friends.
A grin pulled at her lips. Something just dawned on her.
“If anything, having the opportunity to annoy you would be great motivation for me to sleep.”
Having to see him whenever she slept was a nuisance at first. She wanted normal dreams, not him! But after the first few nights, she had grown used to it. When she had nothing new to report, she’d bombard him with stupid questions. Mostly about his baldness. She had such long hair so she often wondered what it was like to be bald like him. It was always so funny.
Solas gave her an unamused look. But a spark of respect burned within his eyes.
“At least your spirit hasn’t broken. Good.”