Archive of Our Own

The Yuehua trainee dorm was full of ghosts.

Under the cover of nightfall, when the city noise was dampened by a blanket of darkness, apparitions that shouldn’t be there shifted in the shadows, the sound of voices long since lost echoed from empty hallways, forever haunting the space they had once occupied.

But it seemed that Brian was the only one who ever saw them.

At 11:14, when Brian shuffled home from a draining day of practice, he could see flickers of Hao in the corner of his vision, the older boy sipping a cup of warm tea in the kitchen, his hands curled tightly around the ceramic to try to bring back warmth to his chilled fingertips.

At 12:07, Brian squinted at himself in the dirty bathroom mirror while he was brushing his teeth, and he swore he could see the shadow of Yujin’s lanky form creeping up behind him to steal some of his facewash, but when we blinked, the younger boy was gone.

At 1:27, as Brian tried to settle into bed staring up at the ceiling and desperately trying to fall asleep, if he strained his ears hard enough, he could make out the sounds of Gyuvin slipping from his own bed and climbing into Ricky’s, the older boy whining quietly at the intrusion before quickly falling silent, but when Brian glanced over at the beds that used to be Ricky and Gyuvin’s, he was met with the truth, two mattresses, stripped bare, patiently awaiting the next bright-eyed trainee hopeful who would claim it as his own, no knowledge of the original boys who had laid on that very same lumpy mattress.

The Yuehua trainee dorms were full of ghosts. Shadows of the boys Brian had once known, boys who had moved on to bigger and better places, leaving Brian all alone with nothing but his memories.

At first, after Boys Planet ended, he had only lost a few of his friends, Hao and Ricky and Gyuvin and Yujin, and he was far too excited that the boys he had trained so long and hard with had made it into ZEROBASEONE’s final line up that he didn’t even feel the pain of missing them all that much at first.

But those four were only the first.

The rest of the Yuehua trainees that didn’t make it through the finals, or who weren’t chosen to go on the show in the first place, were hit with an ultimatum. Yuehua wasn’t planning on debuting a new boy group any time soon. So, the trainees had two options: stick around for a couple of years and wait until Yuehua decided to launch a new group and hope they get chosen or dissolve their contracts and try their luck elsewhere.

And so, with the writing on the wall, the few remaining people Brian had come to cherish began to scatter to the winds.

The first to fall were Seungeon and Yunseo, the pair getting scouted for a new boy group made entirely out of former Boys Planet contestants. The two packing their bags and clearing out of the dorms the month previous.

Sometimes, when the shower was running, he could still hear Seungeon’s belting vocals echoing through the thin walls, and despite the fact that Yunseo had been gone for weeks, he still kept finding the younger boy’s beanies and socks randomly scattered throughout the dorm: in his pillowcase after he did laundry, underneath the bathroom sink, and once, a stray sock in the silverwear drawer when he went to go pull out a pair of chopsticks.

It was hard, watching the people he had slowly started to consider his family here in Korea all drift apart, barely even having the time for a phone call or a quick text while they were being slammed with debut preparations.

And yet while his friends were enjoying every success that came their way, here Brian still was, sitting stagnant, like absolutely nothing had changed since he had first come to Korea over a year before.

It was all starting to get to him, the hopelessness of it all, the pain of watching his friends move on to bigger and better things while he was still here, at the same company, in the same bed, in the same place, stuck motionless while everyone raced on ahead.

At 2:43, after he had long since given up on sleep, Brian slunk silently into the living room, not wanting to disturb the other trainees rest with his tossing and turning, and he could see the beat-up TV they had in the living room flickering with some old 90s anime that Brian didn’t recognize, and the corners of his mouth twitched up in amusement.

“Ollie, you shouldn’t stay up this late to watch-” Brian teased as he rounded the couch, his voice cutting out as he realized that there was no one there.

Because Ollie was gone too.

He had left just a few days before, heading back to China to try his hand at a new survival show to create an up-and-coming C-Pop group.

He hadn’t even told Brian he had accepted the offer until just a few days before he was scheduled to leave.

Ironically enough, Brian had received the exact same offer, but he had ended up turning it down, not wanting to abandon his hope of one day making his big break into the K-Pop scene, but if he had known that Ollie was going… maybe… maybe his decision would have been different.

Brian blinked, and the hazy memory of Ollie curled up on the ratty couch in a too big sweatshirt, his nose buried in his Switch, evaporated, an acute sense of loneliness stabbing painfully at his heart as Brian slumped onto the couch which was far too large and empty for just him and hid his face in his hands.

All-encompassing silence surrounded him, the hushed emptiness of the dorms almost too much to bear.

Technically the dorms were far from empty, because there were still over a dozen other trainees crammed into the small building of dorms, but it wasn’t the same.

Yeah, Yichen was nice and always took time to help Brian polish up his choreo, but while the older boy was well versed in both Mandarin and Korean, Brian missed being able come back to the dorms at the end of a long day when his brain was nothing but mush and the sound of 8-counts on repeat and not have to try to translate his muddled thoughts into another language. But with Ricky, and Gyuvin and Ollie gone, Brian didn’t have anyone left to talk to in English. He didn’t think he had spoken his mother tongue in days, not since the last time he had talked on the phone with his mom, and the thought stung.

Jeong Yunseo was nice too, reminded him a bit of Ollie with his infectious energy, but the teen still held a hopeful sort of air about him, not yet crushed by years in a cutthroat industry, or the horrors of having your most vulnerable moments aired on live TV for an audience of millions, and sometimes, when Brian was having a bad day, he just wanted to be around other people who understood. He wanted Ji Yunseo, the boy who was cut in the same round as him, he wanted Seungeon, who made it to the finals but didn’t quite make the final cut, losing out on the main vocalist position to Taerae, who the audience took a shine to just a little bit more.

But no, all Brian had left were ghosts.

Ever present, always lurking ghosts crowding in on him from all sides.

He could feel the weight of their presence. Hao’s acerbic durian scent, Ricky’s far too sharp eyes, Gyuvin’s puppy-like enthusiasm, Yujin’s wheezing snores, Seungeon’s booming voice, Yunseo’s comforting warmth, and Ollie’s huffed laughter. They all remained here with him, trapped in an endless cycle day in and day out, never able to escape.

Or maybe it was just Brian who couldn’t escape.

He needed to get out of here.

Out of this oppressive dorm. Out of this stifling environment. Out of this never-ending loop of memories and habits and ingrained behaviors.

He just needed out out OUT!

💜🧜🏼‍♂️💜

At 3:32, Brian found himself at the banks of the Han River, having splurged on taxi fare and had the driver take him to the first place he could think of that was far, far away from the cloying atmosphere of the dorms.

He had been here once in early fall, a few months before Boys Planet even began, with Gyuvin and Yujin and Ollie, the four of them running around the park and splashing water at each other until they were so soaked they had to wait, shivering and shaking, for nearly an hour as they dried in the sun so they could take the subway home, but Brian remembered the experience fondly, a twinkling bright spot amidst the pressure of day-in-day-out practices with no end in sight.

At night, while the river was still beautiful, lit up in brilliant colors by the city lights, there was also something cold and lonely about the way it rippled like a dark snake through the heart of the city, something isolated and other about its presence.

But for some reason, Brian found the strangeness of the river comforting. Because to him, the dark, sluggishly moving water seemed like a perfect reflection of Brian’s own inner turmoil.

Silently, Brian slipped off his shoes and socks and trudged down to the river’s edge, rolling up the bottoms of his ragged sweatpants so that he could dip his feet in the water, which even in the middle of a balmy August evening was still bracingly cold in a way that immediately reminded him of home, and Brian couldn’t help the quiet sob that bubbled up in his chest at the sudden rush of homesickness that washed over him.

Because after a year in Korea with little to show for it, Brian missed Canada.

He missed the mountains and the cold weather, because even the coldest days in Seoul were nowhere near the frigid temperatures of a Canadian winter.

He missed his mom and his siblings and all his friends.

He missed homecooked meals and warm hugs and talking in a language he actually understood.

He missed home.

Unbidden, a tear slipped down his cheek, and then another, and another, until Brian couldn’t stop the flood of tears that began streaming down his cheeks, all the pent-up emotions he had been burying for weeks, months even, hitting him all at once, no longer able to be held back.

Was all this even worth it?

Giving up everything he had ever known to chase a wild dream halfway across the world where he knew nothing and no one.

How long would he be stuck trying and trying and trying? Constantly being told he wasn’t good enough, continuously being knocked down again and again, like every step forward was also two steps back, until Brian was stuck running in place on a treadmill of his own making.

Maybe he should finally call it quits. He was tired, so incredibly, painfully tired, and it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. The dream he had been chasing only getting further out of reach with each passing day.

Maybe he should just go back to the company and pack his bags, call his mom and beg to come home, tell her that he couldn’t handle the pressure, and in the morning he would go to the company and end his contract and take the first flight back to Vancouver he could find.

Maybe it would be better that way. To give up before he sunk too many years of his life into a fruitless endeavor, to slink home with his tail between his legs.

A failure.

“Well, what’s is a pretty boy like yourself doing out here crying all alone?” A voice shattered through the painful wheezing of his sobs, startling Brian so thoroughly that his tears abruptly stopped at the sound, his eyes searching around wildly for the source of the noise.

There, almost directly in front of him, halfway submerged in the dark, inky water was quite possibly the most beautiful boy Brian had ever seen.

His hair was a shade of honey blond that Brian didn’t often see in Korea outside of idols or models, and it complimented his tanned skin wonderfully, his lips were full and pouty, and his cute apple cheeks were tinted with the barest hint of pink from the sun, his face small and evenly proportioned, so dewy that it was practically glowing in the city lights flickering behind him.

Unable to help himself, Brian found his eyes sliding down, following the path of droplet of water trailing down the other boy’s clavicle, and Brian had the sudden and inexplicable desire to lick it off.

So caught off guard by the handsome stranger’s presence, Brian hadn’t even realized he had been staring until the other boy started to move, the blond blinking at him slowly before cocking his head to the side in confusion, his perfectly sculpted dark brows furrowing the longer he looked at him.

“あなたは韓国語を話さないのですか”

The stranger tried to speak again in a different language and Brian thought it was maybe Japanese, but he understood even less of what he tried to say than when he had initially spoken in Korean.

The blond’s lips twisted downward, his teeth sinking into his cherry blossom pink lower lip and Brian couldn’t help but notice that his teeth were oddly pointed, his attention immediately drawn to the movement.

Then, a third time, the stranger spoke, his voice accented but his words clear, “How about English? Does English work?”

At the sound of the familiar language that he hadn’t heard in days, Brian practically lit up from the inside out, a giddy smile stretching across his face, “Oh my gosh, you speak English?”

From his position in the water, the stranger shuffled closer, his expression brightening at the sound of Brian’s voice, his movements hypnotically fluid in the water, and Brian unable to tear his gaze away. He swore for a fraction of a second it almost seemed like the other boy’s eyes glowed a shade of liquid gold, but he ultimately attributed the strange color to a trick of the light and his emotional, sleep-deprived state.

“English isn’t my best. But I can speak it well enough. I moved around a lot as a kid.” The other boy shrugged, his smile adorably lopsided, his cheeks pulling up into a grin while the corner of his lips turned down.  “So, now that you understand me, what’s a pretty boy like you doing out here crying by himself so late at night?”

Brian couldn’t help but flush from the mortification of having been caught crying, knowing that he probably looked like an awful mess with messy hair and puffy eyes and dressed in an old pair of sweatpants and a sleep shirt with a stretched-out collar and a mysterious stain on the hem.

“I-uh-I-” Brian stammered, trying to come up with some sort of response that didn’t make him look like a complete and utter loser in front of this beautiful, mysterious stranger.

In his floundering to find something to take the attention off himself, Brian was stuck with a sudden realization and couldn’t help but blurt out his thought the instant it passed through his head.  

“Wait a minute, what are you doing out here so early in the morning? And why are you in the river? The water is freezing; you’re going to catch a cold.”

The stranger smiled sheepishly, bringing one hand up to rub at the back of his head, obviously uncomfortable, and Brian caught sight of a set of four identical lines curving in the space between each of the other boy’s ribs when he raised his arm, perfectly even dark slashes that marred the otherwise smooth expanse of tanned skin, and Brian couldn’t help but stare, curious and intrigued in equal measure.

“Ah, don’t worry about me, I don’t really feel the cold. I’ve come swimming here in much worse weather than this."

Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the fact that Brian was still a bit discombobulated from being interrupted mid-breakdown by someone who looked like he had stepped straight out of a magazine centerfold, but Brian couldn’t help but leap to his feet on shaky legs and stride deeper into the water, uncaring that the hems of his sweats were getting damp.

“Come on,” Brian urged, waving towards the other boy, who had backed further away as Brian slid into the water, his smile vanished, his eyes wide and fearful, gleaming brightly in the dim early morning light. “Get out of the water before you get sick.”

The stranger looked seconds away from bolting, those sharp teeth of his sinking into his bottom lip so tightly Brian was surprised he didn't start to bleed, and that thought was enough to make Brian hesitate, lowering his arm as he stalled in place.

What was he doing? Being so bold and aggressive with a complete stranger, who was obviously uncomfortable with his behavior, it was so incredibly unlike him. He couldn’t figure out what had come over him to behave so rashly.

“Ah, sorry, I shouldn’t hav-” Brian took a step back, fully ready to retreat back to the safety of the bank and give the stranger some space when his foot slipped on a particularly smooth section of rock and he felt his feet start to slide out from under him. Mentally he braced himself for the undoubtedly icy sensation of hitting the water, resigning himself to a long night of walking back to the dorms dripping wet, but surprisingly, instead of his back meeting the chilled surface of the Han, he collided with a solid warmth that gave slightly beneath his weight.

It was only when Brian felt an unexpected pressure against his waist and looked down to see two golden arms wrapped around his stomach did he realize what had happened.

The stranger had caught him.

“T-thank you.” Brian spluttered, still trying to wrap his head around how the blond had gone from frightened of him mere seconds before to suddenly cradling him in his arms. Because that was exactly what he was doing, the stranger making no move to release him, instead his grip only seemed to tighten as Brian wiggled awkwardly in place, trying to once again stand, but unable to find purchase on the slippery ground.

As he foundered, his foot brushed against something scaly and wet and notably alive.

Embarrassingly, Brian screamed.

“Ahhhh! What was that?!” Brian twisted in the stranger’s arms, scrabbling against his torso to try to get away from whatever fish was currently probably trying to make a meal out of his toes.

As he floundered, his foot once again brushed against something smooth and slimy that flinched when he touched it.

Brian jumped a little in surprise at the unexpected sensation, but upon feeling it a second time, he found himself not as startled as he had been the first time, and curiosity getting the best of him, Brian couldn’t help but glance down, wondering if he could spot the fish tormenting him in the shallow water, and couldn’t help the shocked gasp that spilled from his lips.

Because what he could see in the murky water wasn’t a fish at all, but a large sinuous mass shimmering with golds and browns and pinks and connecting directly the stranger still holding him to his chest.

Even though his brain still couldn’t quite believe it, the words spilled from his lips regardless, “You’re a… mermaid?”

The stranger behind him scoffed, brusquely setting him back on his feet before releasing him like Brian’s skin burned.

“We prefer 인어, but I guess in English, mermaid or mer is sufficient.”

Slowly, unsure if his quick movements would scare the mer away, Brian scrambled back to shore on shaky legs, plopping himself right back down on the river’s bank to turn back and get a closer look at the literal mythological creature sitting in front of him.

Thankfully, the mer hadn’t disappeared back into the dark waters of the Han, and now that he was in shallower water, Brian could see the other boy in all his ethereal glory.

Impossibly, the stranger was even more beautiful than before, the strong, lean lines of his stomach tapering delicately into a taupe tail striped with darker bands of brown, the faintest sheen of pink visible when his tail caught the light. Just below his hips, sat a pair of translucent fins that looked perfect for cutting through the water, and Brian desperately wished he could jump back into the river and run his fingers across the ridged edges, wondering if they were soft or sharp to the touch.

The weird marks on the stranger’s chest suddenly made a lot more sense, because they weren’t scars or tattoos like he had initially thought, they were gills. And now that he was looking closer at the other boy, Brian could see the faint flecks of pink scattered across the mer’s face like freckles, tiny scales reflecting in the light that Brian hadn’t been able to see from far away, and peeking out from beneath his fluffy blond strands, he could see a strange shape that was definitely not a typical ear.

“You’re beautiful.” Brian breathed, his breath catching in his throat as he took in the frankly awe-inspiring form in front of him. He was halfway tempted to pinch himself on the arm, not entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming, because this couldn’t actually be real, right? He must have accidentally brained himself slipping in the shower again as was currently unconscious in the hospital, or maybe he had been murdered on his taxi ride over, and this was the afterlife… yeah maybe that was it.

During Brian’s internal panic, the mer just stared at him silently, his irises flaring gold as he lowered himself further into the water, until all but his eyes and the very top of his head were submerged.

After several long seconds of unabashed ogling, Brian finally managed to gather his wits about himself and tear his gaze away, his mouth, which he hadn’t even realized had been hanging open, snapped shut with an audible click, and Brian’s face felt hot enough to cook an egg from the embarrassment.

“Why did you…” Brian asked, awkwardly breaking the silence, staring down at his bare feet because looking up at the breathtaking mythical being in front of him felt like a bit too much.

“Why did I catch you?” The mer asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah, and why did you reveal yourself at all?” Brian glanced up, suddenly annoyed, because seriously, what had the other boy been thinking, exposing himself just because Brian was being a bit mopey, “You’re not supposed to even exist, what if I had been a bad person and tried to take a picture or capture you or something?”

The mer’s lips twitched, amusement dancing in his golden eyes, “You think you with your little stick arms, could capture me? You can barely even stand up by yourself, I think I could fight you off easily enough if it came down to it. And as for why I revealed myself…”

The mer paused, his eyes flicking up to meet Brian’s, an unexpected warmth present in those molten depths, “You just looked like you needed a friend right now, that’s all.”

Whatever argument Brian might have been about to make about how the mer was being so incredibly reckless and stupid and just asking to get caught died in his throat, because really, what was he supposed to say to that?

Had he really been so pathetic that a supernatural creature risked getting exposed just so he could comfort him?

The mer, seeming to sense Brian’s sudden dip in mood, swam closer until he had halfway beached himself on the bank, his long, graceful tail splayed out behind him on the surface of the water, reflecting the light in beautiful shades of tan and gold and pink.

“So long as you don’t take a picture, I think I’ll be safe with you.” The mer smiled then, his beautifully shaped mouth curling upwards as he rested his arms on the shore, leaning his chin on his forearms to look up at Brian, his gaze open and honest, and the last of Brian’s stalwart resolve positively melted at the sight.

“Yeah, yeah, okay maybe I won’t try to kidnap you or anything.” Brian huffed, the barest hint of a smile gracing his lips as he reached out and prodded the mer’s arm with the tip of his toe playfully. “No promises I won’t take a picture though.”

Brian pulled his phone out of his pocket, swiping open the camera and pointing it towards the mer currently half-in-half-out of the water cheekily, the flash illuminating area around them brightly, thinning the blond’s pupils into narrow slits not unlike a cat’s.

What he hadn’t expected, however, was the sharp hiss that spilled from the mer’s mouth in response, the blond rearing back in alarm at the bright light before abruptly surging forward faster than Brian could even react and plucking the phone from between his slack fingers and immediately turning and tossing it into the Han River without missing a beat.

“My phone…” Brian cried out mournfully as he watched his phone sink beneath the dark water, nothing left except the faint ripples left from the impact, and within seconds even those faded away into nothingness.

“No phones.” The mer growled deep in his throat, and it was only then that Brian realized that the strange creature curled tense and angry on the bank beside him was much more dangerous than he initially thought.

Because now that he was looking, he could see the mer for the predator he really was.

Despite the relatively normal appearance of his upper half, the mer’s distinctly inhuman features, mainly his pointed teeth and razor-sharp claws designed for ripping and tearing into prey, could likely just as easily cut Brian’s skin to ribbons like it was no thicker than paper. Underneath his tanned skin, Brian could see the well-defined musculature of his arms and back, along with the thick swell of his tail twitching agitatedly back and forth in the water, which Brian figured the mer could also use as a useful weapon should the need arise.

The mer in front of him could probably kill him just as easily as breathing, and Brian hadn’t even realized the potential danger he had inadvertently put himself in, too distracted by the mer’s pretty face and sparkling eyes to notice the warning signs lurking underneath.

“S-sorry. No pictures.” Brian simpered, raising his hands in the air and trying to discreetly edge away from the irritated predator currently tensed half a meter in front of him, hoping if he moved slow enough that maybe the mer wouldn’t lash out violently.   

He desperately hoped the mer couldn’t smell fear.

Like a popped balloon, at the sound of the tension in his voice, the mer immediately deflated, his snarl dropping and his muscles unclenching all at once, instead replaced with an abashed expression, “Ah, sorry, sorry, force of habit. I really didn’t mean to trash your phone.” The mer glanced behind him at the dark water where his phone had long since sunk out of view. “I can go get it back for you if you want.”

Brian gaped, still reeling from the whiplash between the mer looking like he was seconds away from clawing his face off to this suddenly awkward, bumbling boy who if Brian hadn’t known any better, he could’ve mistaken for just another fresh-faced trainee at his company, and he found himself responding reflexively.

“Ah, no, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m sure it’s already too waterlogged to be anything better than a glorified paperweight.” Brian brushed off the mer’s concern, still feeling slightly on edge from the mer’s aggressiveness earlier, but quickly finding himself relaxing as the mer fretted in front of him like a stressed-out teenager, and Brian was reminded of the time Gyuvin accidentally used up all of Ricky’s expensive shampoo and the other boy had nearly worked himself up to the point of tears because he was worried that Ricky would be upset at him.

Absently, he wondered just how old the mer was… or if mers even aged the same way humans did, because if Brian had to guess, he’d assume the blond was actually a couple years younger than Brian himself based on the almost childish way he was acting.

After several seconds of the mer silently panicking in front of him, guilt etched into every line on his face, out of nowhere the mer’s expression brightened, a look of relief crossing his features, his lips curling up like he had just gotten the most brilliant idea.

“At least let me pay you back for a new one!”

“Wait, you don’t have to… it’s fine.” Brian sputtered, waving his hands frantically in front of his face as the mer started to shift on the bank, “How would you even pay for it anyways? I wouldn’t imagine that mers have any need for human money.”

The mer ignored him, continuing to wriggle awkwardly on the shoreline, his inelegant shimmying completely at odds with the quick, sure movements he had made just minutes before when he had tugged Brian’s phone from his hands in the blink of an eye, and as Brian watched, the mer tugged the bulk of his tail up out of the water and onto the shore, where is shone dimly in the far off streetlights, before reaching down and running his hand along its sinuous length, making a quiet noise of delight when he apparently found what he was looking for and abruptly wrapped his clawed fingers around one of the brownish-pink scales and tugged firmly, the scale popping off easily in his hand.

“Here!” The mer exclaimed, making a grabby-handed motion in his direction and Brian, not knowing what else to do, extended his palm, the blond gently placing the sharp scale into his hand before carefully closing Brian’s fingers down over the top and patting his hand once before pulling away.

“It’s not money, but I know for a fact that they’ll fetch a pretty decent price at a pawn shop or online. That should be enough to cover a new phone I think.”

Carefully, Brian opened his hand, glancing down at the scale nestled in his palm, roughly the size of his thumbnail and speckled with tiny flecks of what looked to be gold that shimmered in the light, nearly just as beautiful as the mer himself.

“Didn’t that hurt?” Brian couldn’t help but ask, curious, as he glanced up at the mer, who was currently in the process of slipping his tail back into the water, the blond letting out a quiet sigh and a pleased wriggle once his tail was once again fully submerged.

“No, not at all, we shed our scales all the time to grow new ones, I just had to find one that was loose enough to pull out and it was easy as that.” The blond waved a hand in front of his face like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just torn out a piece of his body – even if it had been about to fall out – to give to Brian as payment for his destroyed phone.

Brian was beginning to seriously rethink whether or not he was actually dreaming, or maybe he had accidentally taken some hallucinogenic drugs because what in the world was going on?  

“Okay, well enough about me.” The blond interrupted before Brian could try to pinch himself again, “So, why exactly were you out here crying all by yourself in the middle of the night? It’s not exactly safe out here… there can be some real weirdos.” The mer waggled his eyebrows playfully, and Brian couldn’t help but giggle because really, if anyone was a weirdo, it was the two of them.  

And just like that, the tense knot that had been wound tightly in his chest for days, weeks, months, since the moment his name wasn’t called to move on to the next round during Boys Planet eliminations, uncoiled, and Brian felt like he could finally breathe again, finally at peace for the first time in recent memory, all because of a mysterious stranger who showed Brian a kind smile when he needed it.

So, like a river overflowing its banks, Brian spilled out the secrets he had held close to his chest, the things he had never told anyone before, his worries, doubts, fears, everything.

The car accident that left him bedbound for half a year that, in his infinite boredom, helped him discover K-Pop.

The vocal lessons, the dance practices, the dozens and dozens of audition tapes with no response.

Dropping out of college. Twice. To pursue a dream that hardly anyone actually believed he could achieve.

Moving to Korea without knowing the language on a whim after getting Yuehua’s acceptance letter.

Training for months with absolutely nothing to show for it until he got told that Boys Planet was his last chance to debut.

The horrors of being stuck on a survival show with 98 other guys for months, only to be eliminated before the audience could even begin to remember his name.

He told him about Hao and Ricky and Gyuvin and Yujin, he talked about Seungeon and Yunseo and Ollie. He talked until his tongue grew tired and his voice turned hoarse from speaking and the sky began to lighten with the first hints of morning, streaks of orange and pink beginning to stretch across the horizon.

And still, all the while, the mer listened. Quiet, but attentive, occasionally humming or nodding to show he was still paying attention, but ultimately, just letting Brian vent out all his anger and frustration and hurt that had been building inside of him, festering and rotting.

But now that Brian had gotten it all out into the open. He felt lighter, like a burdensome weight he hadn’t known he had been carrying, finally relinquished him from its shackles.

He felt… free.

“You shouldn’t give up.” The mer whispered, reaching over to pat Brian’s knee softly, and Brian swore he could feel the phantom heat even through his sweats, radiating outward from the place the blond’s palm rested on his leg.

“I know that we don’t exactly have the same experiences.” The mer’s face made a complicated expression, his features puckering momentarily before his distress smoothed away like it had never even been there in the first place, “But I promise, even if there’s been setbacks, you’ve worked too hard to give up now. It’s obvious you still love it. You still love being here. And if you leave now, you’re only going to regret it later.”

Brian’s could feel his mouth working up and down, but no words would come out, utterly speechless, but it seemed the mer wasn’t done speaking yet, his voice easily filling the space between them.

“Trust me, things are all going to work out for you.” The blond smiled, toothy and wide, with lips that turned down cutely in the corners, “I’ve got an innate feeling about this kind of thing. Consider it an special fishy sense.”

For some reason, despite the fact that this mer – this stranger – hardly even knew him, Brian couldn’t help but feel soothed by these words, like something in his soul was eased at knowing that at least someone thought that Brian still had a chance.

Unexpectedly, Brian felt something warm and damp brush against his cheek, and Brian’s eyes, which he hadn’t even realized he had closed, fluttered open, surprised to find the mer’s gentle palm pressed against his cheek, his fingers curled outward so his claws wouldn’t scratch Brian’s skin as his thumb delicately wiped away a tear that Brian hadn’t even noticed had started to fall.

“You’re amazing. And any company here would be stupid not to want you. You just need to find the place, and the people, where you belong.”

“Y-you’re just saying that.” Brian hiccupped, his voice tight, even as he leaned into the other boy’s palm, reveling in the heat and comfort it provided, and thankfully, the mer did not pull away.

“I never say something I don’t mean. You’re going to be big one day. I know it.” The mer sighed, almost wistfully, like he was holding some sort of secret knowledge that Brian could only begin to guess at.

Brian soaked up the mer’s praise and honeyed voice like a sponge, trying to commit his words to heart, hoping that in the light of day, the stranger’s words would still ring true.

The mer let out a quiet sigh, his hand retreating from Brian’s cheek and leaving him feeling oddly bereft without it, “Look… I have to go. It’s nearly morning and I don’t exactly want to be seen like this.”

And just like that… the bubble popped.

“Oh. Oh yeah, that’s probably smart.” Brian shook off the haziness that clung to him, dragging himself back to reality. Because this was real life, and even though he met a person who could’ve been plucked straight out of a fairy tale did not mean that Brian’s circumstances had changed in the slightest.

He needed to get up, take a taxi back to the Yuehua dorms, and get his mess of a life figured out.

Before he stood, he couldn’t help but chance one last look at the mer, who looked even more ethereally beautiful in the early morning light, the sun just beginning to peek over the tops of the trees and buildings making his flaxen hair glow like spun gold, and making his tanned skin glisten like he was covered with diamonds instead of droplets of water.

Even with his sullen, pinched expression, his frame dripping with moroseness, like he was just as reluctant to leave as Brian himself, the mer was still absolutely breathtaking.

Brian couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch the mer on the shoulder, wanting to ensure that he was real, that he hadn’t just made up the past few hours, startling the other boy slightly with the unexpected touch.

“Thank you.” Brian whispered when the mer’s golden eyes locked onto his, “For listening to a stranger that needed it.”

The mer’s frown twisted up into a wobbly sort of smile, his eyes swimming with emotions Brian couldn’t even hope to name, “I’d hardly call us strangers anymore, after the night we’ve had.”

Feeling particularly bold, and not exactly wanting to let things end like this, Brian couldn’t help but blurt out the thought that had lingered on the edge of his mind since the mer had first spoken of his need to leave before he was spotted, his voice tinged with the barest traces of hope.   

“Do you think, we could meet again… like this?”

The way that the mer’s expression dropped at his words spoke volumes, and Brian's stomach sunk at the sight of the blond’s curled shoulders and downtrodden expression, knowing intuitively exactly what the mer was going to say before he even said it.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. We probably shouldn’t meet up again.” The mer sighed wistfully, looking somewhat forlorn, and Brian couldn’t help the way his face fell at the blond’s words, disappointment radiating off of him in waves.

“Oh, don’t look so sad.” The mer tittered, perking up somewhat from the somberness just moments before, a small, secretive smile stretching across his pretty, pink lips. “Just because we can’t meet now doesn’t mean that we can’t meet again in the future. I promise that we’ll cross paths again, probably when you least expect it.”

Then, before he could even think of something to say in response, the mer darted forward, leaning into Brian’s space and pressing a featherlight kiss to his cheek, his lips plush and soft as they fluttered against his skin, but Brian was barely able to register the sensation before the mer pulled away, the heat of his mouth lingering against Brian's cheekbone like a ghostly kiss.  

“Goodbye Brian, it was lovely finally getting to meet you.”

And with one last upside-down smile in his direction, and a rather large splash, the mer was gone. Nothing but a flash of pink and tan flashing beneath the surface of the water so quickly Brian nearly missed it as proof he had even been there at all.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there staring out at the Han as the sky continued to lighten, orange and pinks fading into pale blue as the city began to wake up around him, joggers going on their morning runs, early morning commuters rushing off to work, the sound of cars honking in traffic, but still there Brian sat, hoping to catch another glimpse of the mer who had so thoroughly tilted his world off its axis, but no matter how long he waited, the mer didn’t reappear.

Brian raised his hand up to his cheek, still feeling the phantom brush of the mer’s lips against his skin, and when he moved, a small object tumbled out of his palm and down onto his lap.

A scale, small and shiny and perfect. Just like the mer who gifted it to him.

Feeling incensed, and recalling the parting words the mer had left him with, Brian couldn’t help but scramble to his feet, the barest hints of an idea starting to scratch at his frontal lobe as he raced back towards the dorms as fast as his feet would allow, diving into the first taxi he spotted and tossing his money at the driver, urging him to go as quickly as possible before Brian lost the courage building in his chest.

The whole drive back to the dorms, Brian clutched tightly to the mer’s scale, hoping that it would give him strength.

When he got back to the dorms, he didn’t even bother trying to explain to the other trainees why he had been out all night, he had just begged the first boy that he came across, some scrawny 16 year old whose name he couldn't remember, to let him borrow his phone, and with shaking fingers, Brian dialed the familiar number that he had been forced to memorize months before.

After a few long tense seconds, the person on the other end of the line picked up.

“Hello? Who is this?” A tired voice drawled, raspy and deep with sleep, and Brian was struck with the realization that he was calling at the ungodly hour of 6AM and nearly hung up the phone right there out of sheer mortification, but before he could, he felt the sharp almost painful sensation of the scale still clenched in his fist digging into the meat of his palm, which unexpectedly served to ground him, giving him the courage to continue.

Brian cleared his throat awkwardly, “Kamden-hyung, it’s me Brian… Do you remember after Boys Planet when you wanted me to consider leaving Yuehua and signing with your company?”

Somewhere halfway across Seoul, Kamden hummed in agreement, which Brian took as a good sign to continue.

“Well… I was just wondering if that offer was still on the table?”  

💜🧜🏼‍♂️💜

Exactly 56 days, 12 minutes and 47 seconds after that fateful call with Kamden, Brian found himself walking through the front doors of the FNC Entertainment building in the early days of October, officially a new FNC trainee, two bouncing balls of energy vibrating excitedly beside him.

“We should show him the cafeteria first!” Mackiah exclaimed, grabbing onto Brian’s arm and tugging him in the direction of one of the hallways branching off the main lobby before another equally strong hand grabbed onto his other arm and halted him in place.

“No, we should show him the dance practice rooms, I’m sure he’s excited to meet the rest of the trainees in the debut lineup!” Kyrell argued, his cherubic face stretched into a wide grin.

“So then, where would you like to go first?” Mackiah and Kyrell spoke in nearly perfect unison, staring up at him with unblinking eyes, and if Brian hadn’t known better, he would’ve thought these two had known each other for years and not just a few scant weeks given how scarily in sync the pair seemed to be.

Brian just shrugged, unable to resist the pairs infectious exuberance, “I’ve got all day, show me everything.”

And by the way Kyrell and Mackiah’s chubby cheeks stretched under the force of their smiles, Brian knew he had said the right answer.

💜🧜🏼‍♂️💜

Nearly two hours later, Brian and his entourage finally made it up to the FNC practice room which had been designated for the new, soon-to-debut boy group that Brian was actually about to be a part of.

He hadn’t met any of the other members, besides Kamden, of course, and Mackiah and Kyrell, who he had accidentally stumbled across at the dorms the day before. All he knew was that the group was planned to be 7 members total, but the last three members of the lineup were a complete mystery to him, so Brian was of course beyond curious to finally meet the people who were about to become his new groupmates. The people he would be spending practically 24/7 with for the next who knew how many years.

He hoped they liked him. 

Brian’s stomach felt queasy from both excitement and nerves. He hadn’t felt such a strange fluttering sensation in his chest since he had stepped up in front of the cameras to perform Kick It with the rest of his Yuehua trainees with absolutely no idea what was to be in store in the months to come.  

Almost as if sensing Brian’s trepidation, Kyrell paused in front of the door, his hand hovering over the handle as he glanced back at Brian, searching the other boy’s face like he was looking for something in particular.

“Are you ready to meet the other members?” Mackiah asked, patting him gently on the shoulder, his large palm a soothing balm against Brian’s the anxious buzzing beneath skin.

Unfortunately, Brian didn’t even get the chance to answer as the door swung open of its own accord, nearly bowling Kyrell over as a teenager with dark, shaggy hair bounded through the door, his eyes sparking with excitement as his attention zeroed in on Brian hovering awkwardly in the hallway behind Mackiah and Kyrell.

“What are you guys doing out here chatting away? We’ve been waiting ages for you to bring the new member by!” The stranger spoke in rapid-fire Korean, almost too fast for Brian to decipher, and it took several seconds for his brain to mentally translate the other boy’s words.

Once he finally processed what the other boy was saying, Brian bowed politely to the younger boy, “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Brian Ho. Please take good care of me.”

If the teen had been excited before, he was downright ecstatic now as he bounded past Kyrell and Mackiah and stuck his hand out gleefully in Brian’s direction and began speaking in somewhat stilted, but easily understandable English.

“It is nice to meet you. My name is Kim Seungmo. I am 17 years old.”

The smile that blossomed on Brian’s face as he clasped his hand around Seungmo’s was completely genuine, his heart already warmed by Seungmo’s effort and genuine enthusiasm, certain that the two of them would probably become fast friends, the younger boy's energy infectious. 

“I hope we get along.” Brian responded in English before switching to Korean, “I don’t mind if you’d prefer talking in Korean, since I need to practice more. You might just have to talk slow sometimes.”

Seungmo beamed, tightening his grip on Brian’s hand as he turned and started tugging him towards the door, Brian following along obediently behind him, a no doubt stupid grin plastered across his face.

“Come on, let’s go meet the others! Don’t let Siyun fool you, he’s been dying to meet you, and Jiho-hyung has been oddly excited about getting to see our brand-new seventh member.”

The next several minutes were a whirlwind as Seungmo bodily dragged him into the practice room where Kamden and a shorter, unfamiliar boy in a black beanie were practicing choreo in front of the large floor-to-ceiling mirror, the pair halting mid-dance the second Brian and Co. burst into the room.

“Kamden-hyung, look your friend is here! You never told me he was so tall! And Siyun-ah, aren’t you excited we got another vocalist!”

“Hey! I’m a vocalist too you know!” Kyrell cried out, headbutting Seungmo in the shoulder before grabbing the younger boy into a headlock, Mackiah joining in on the chaos to shout, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” as the pair wrestled with each other playfully.

Brian glanced up at Kamden curiously, a silent question in his eyes, and he could tell by the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up as he glanced over at the squabbling boys that this was a fairly common occurrence, so he decided to just let rambunctious trio be for now.

He couldn’t help but be reminded of Gyuvin and Yujin teasing and jabbing at each other, of Yunseo and Ricky bickering in the dorms. Of Ollie staying up too late playing video games and getting scolded by Hao.

It seemed, no matter where he went, the people in his life were always the same.

Yeah, Brian thought he was going to like it here.

So quiet that Brian almost didn’t even notice his approach, the shorter boy in a dark zip-up jacket ambled up to Brian’s side, his expression closed off, but his eyes were warm.

“Sorry about them. They can take some getting used to. I’m Yoon Siyun by the way. It’s nice to finally meet our newest member.” Siyun shot Brian a small, quiet smile, before turning his attention back towards the full-on WWE wrestling match now happening in the middle of the practice room.

“It’s nice to meet you Siyun-ssi. Are you a vocalist? I’d love to get to practice more with you in the future.”

Siyun’s sharp eyes widened, his mouth twitching, a break in his expressionless mask, “Yeah, actually I’m-”

“Okay, now what the hell is actually going on here? Our new member is supposed to be coming by any minute now and is this the kind of first impression we want to leave when he arrives?”

At the sound of the unexpectedly loud shout coming echoing out from the doorway behind him, Brian froze.

Because he recognized that voice.

Slowly, he turned towards the sound, because surely it couldn’t be… no way.

But when he turned to face the door, Brian saw a face that he could never forget in a thousand lifetimes.

Tanned skin, full and pouty lips, and cute apple cheeks tinted pink. A small and evenly proportioned face that shone with the vitality of youth.

His hair was black now instead of blond, and the constellations of pale, pink freckles were missing from his cheekbones, and he was now very obviously sporting legs instead of a massive tail, but Brian would recognize him anywhere.

Because there, standing in front of him with a far too knowing smirk on that pretty mouth of his, was the very same mer who had found him crying on the banks of the Han River just a few months before.

“You.” Brian breathed, his hand instinctively coming up to clutch at the scale strung onto a necklace hidden beneath his shirt that he hadn’t taken off since the day the mer had given it to him, and the jagged edges of the scale biting into his palm proved that this was indeed real, and he was not in fact hallucinating.

The other members watched the exchange curiously, and completely unaware that Brian and this stranger had met before, just smiled gleefully as they watched the pair with bated breath. Mackiah, apparently intent on taking advantage of Brian’s distraction, managed to extract himself from the dog pile on the floor to sneak up behind him for the sole purpose of bodily pushing Brian in the direction of the newest face in the room, sending him stumbling forward with all the grace of a baby deer.

Luckily, before he could faceplant in front of all these new faces, a pair of warm hands, familiar hands, latched onto his biceps, keeping him upright, and Brian found himself in an almost identical position to the one he had encountered back on a dark summer night on the banks of the Han a few months before. His eyes automatically trailing upward to look into the gentle, smiling face of his savior yet again, his eyes, now a dark and natural looking brown, full of warmth and good humor.

“Choi Jiho,” The mer – now somehow human - said. That wonderfully endearing upside-down grin of his stretching across his face as he leaned in to whisper in Brian’s ear, his breath sending goosebumps down his spine. And Brian was infinitely thankful thankful that Jiho was still partially holding him up, because the sound of his melodious voice made Brian’s knees go embarrassingly weak.  

“Brian Ho.” Brian managed to croak out, still reeling from the entirely unforeseen reunion, although Jiho looked completely unsurprised to see Brian here, his eyes glinting mischievously like he had finally reveal the punchline of a months-long joke, and he guessed, in a way, Jiho technically had.  

“Nice to see you again Brian-hyung, I told you that we’d meet again when you least expect it.”