Chapter Text
Nico di Angelo is broken.
He has to be.
Yeah, everyone sees him as a villain already -- despite being only a teenager and having no control over his parentage -- but this is different.
His mother always told him that one day he’d find a nice girl to bring home.
Nico didn’t see the appeal in that. He saw the campers at both Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter in couples, one male and one female, showing romantic affection, and he just didn’t understand how. Sure, those girls were pretty, and they seemed nice enough, but Nico just couldn’t see himself kissing one like that.
Growing up in Italy in the 1940’s, he saw a lot of violence. He once watched his neighbor get dragged out of his house, followed by another man. He never saw his neighbor again. His mother told him it was because he was spending time with the man, the way one would with a woman, and that was wrong. Nico didn’t understand how that could be so wrong, or why it mattered, but he believed his mother and trusted her when she said that he could never turn out like that.
Nico tried not to look at men that way, but there was one particular guy that made Nico’s heart flutter, made him feel all nervous when he looked at Nico with those stunning, watercolour blue eyes, made him want to perish when he laughed in Nico’s presence. He was gorgeous, he was kind, he was outgoing, he was everything Nico wasn’t, and he loved it. He wanted to count every freckle, to run his hands through his sun-bright hai-
No.
No, he can’t think like that. That’s how guys should be thinking about girls. Will Solace is not a girl.
But Gods of Olympus, he was so perfect.
And so if Nico “accidentally” got a few scratches during daily activities and -- oh no, how horrible… definitely… -- had to go see Will in the infirmary, well, that was between him and the heavens.
Listen, girls kiss other girls, and nobody bats an eye, but the moment Nico wants to kiss Will, the camp- the camp calls him gay?!
Unfair.
Nico didn’t see how a guy like Will Solace could ever like him back. He was probably normal, probably disgusted by the idea of ever loving a boy. He’d probably hate Nico if he told him about his feelings.
He was finally finding his place at camp, and he didn’t want to ruin that. He finally belonged somewhere, he was finally part of a (makeshift, found) family, and he couldn’t risk it. No matter how much he was head over heels in love with Will, he couldn’t tell him. He’d just have to get over him, convince himself that Will wasn’t his type, like he’d done with Percy.