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Riff Raff inhaled and exhaled fast and deep as his heart pounded like a drum. More so a drum that was about to break because it was being hit so hard. He was pacing around the room and rubbing his back like a madman. "It's ok, Riff Raff! It's ok, Riff Raff! Everything's going to be just fine!" He assured himself as he felt his whole body tingling.
Magenta, on the other hand, simply sat on his bed with a sly, amused smile on her face. She sat with her legs folded to one side, propped up by a hand. Was it to her left or right? Time, he couldn't tell.
"Zhis vould be a good time to remember zhat you talked vitzh her about zhis. You have her permission. You know her answer, brotzher!"
"She could still change her mind!"
"She von't. She's been in an excited glow ever since." Magenta smiled. "You even got a ring size out of her! You know she knows vhat zhat means! She vants to marry you!"
"Still," Riff strained, internally begging his body to settle. "Oh, what if I fuck this all up? What if I accidentally make it about me? I could say all the wrong things!"
"Zhat's vhat I'm here for!" Magenta purred. "I von't let you do zhat. And even if you forget everytzhing and speak merely of zhe tax benefits and how much of a catch you are, she'll still say yes!"
"I hope so," Riff sighed and turned to look in the mirror. He'd been practicing in makeup and dressed in the clothes he planned to wear. The only things that would be different were the location and the ring. He wouldn't be proposing in his own timedamned bedroom and the ring was currently hiding in a little box that was in a little bag in the back of the storage room of the candy store that his government owned that was connected right to the castle. (He'd needed to show that he was kinder than the Furters and it turns out that the chefs had gotten bored with normal meals and could use a raise.) He'd asked her if she wanted to pick the ring herself, and she'd said that she wanted a surprise and that she trusted him. That was probably for the best, considering the fact that she was surprisingly difficult to shop for in that domain. With his schedule, it took him a whole month to track the right one down.
He had no idea where he'd propose. It had to be somewhere private, but home just was... not special enough.
He shook it all aside as he looked at his outfit in the mirror. A rich, shiny emerald green suit jacket and pants, with sage accenting the jacket. He had dark red lipstick with dusty purple earrings. His choker was a green so bright that it was almost yellow. His spike heels were a minty shade. Fuck, it really was his color, he thought as he checked on his dark green eyeshadow. His fingerless fishnet gloves brushed the hair out of his face, and in that moment he felt truly handsome.
"The night before, will you help me paint my nails this color?" He asked his sister. "I don't want to ruin one hand while working on the other."
"Of course I vill." She crawled forward on the bed, "But only if you get back to practicing!" She purred with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Alright," Riff Raff sighed, shaking the jitters out of his bones. He grabbed a ring pop and turned towards his sister. They'd decided that using them would help release the anxiety. They'd practice until Riff Raff knew what he was doing, and then they'd eat ring pops until the jitters wore off. It was a perfect solution.
"Cordelia!" Riff Raff sharply turned towards his sister. "When I was young... I... I always thought that I simply... that I'd never... that I could never find true joy... and... and I always thought that I'd be a freak who- AM I MAKING THIS ABOUT ME TOO MUCH??!" His voice all but vomited out.
"KEEP GOING!!" Magenta shouted back at him, "ZHAT VAS HEADED IN ZHE RIGHT DIRECTION!!"
"Right, right, sorry!" Riff breathed out as he straightened himself back up and exhaled. "I always thought that I'd be a freak who everyone backed away from, but then my life got flipped upside down and before I knew it I was king of the planet.... but a part of me still felt like a freak."
Magenta grinned. He could almost see her bouncing.
"But then you came along and I... I saw some kind of light. I wasn't sure how it could've happened! It couldn't have been possible but... somehow I'd fallen in love."
Magenta eagerly leaned forward. Good lord known as time he was getting this right.
"How could anyone not fall for you? You're creative, artistic, your mind! Time, it's like you see everything inside of anything! You're vibrant. You don't wait for other people to give you the go-ahead you just do. And... and you do it all with kindness and love, the best smile, the best eyes, the best beauty-" he felt himself begin to cry. "And you stayed. Never for a moment did you leave- you stayed. You held me through everything... and I want to stay, too. I want to hold you and keep you warm and never- never-... never let you go- DO I KNEEL ON THAT LINE I THINK THAT THAT LINE IS A GOOD SPOT THATS THE GETTING TO THE POINT LINE ISNT IT?" Riff said in one continuous flow.
"Yes, YES, brotzher!!!" Magenta cheered. "Go back and do it like zhat!!!"
"Right... right!" He exhaled and stood up straight.
His whole body was jittering. He shook it out. He could do this. He was practicing for the most wonderful thing- and he could do it. He knew he could. He just knew it.
"Cordelia," he started with a shaky breath. "I want to hold you and keep you warm- AAAAAA-" He was halfway down when he felt the heel twist under him. "BIG BANG'S ALL-CREATING ORGASM- WHAT THE FU-AAAACK?!-" He was toppling into a mess as the sour green apple ring pop went absolutely flying. It crashed straight into the wall, shattered, and one of the biggest pieces ricocheted straight into Magenta's mouth.
Riff Raff felt like he was going to vomit. The part of his body that had had the most critical impact was his stomach and he was heaving as he stiffly looked up at his sister who was happily sucking on a fragment of a ring pop and laughing so hard that she was crying. How she managed to keep it in her mouth and not choke given the circumstances, he had absolutely no idea. He was grateful, though. At least there was that.
He straighted up and looked at his feet. His heels were thankfully undamaged. He kicked them off and felt the greatest relief in the world as his feet felt the release. "Passage of time," he cursed as he threw them straight into his closet.
He turned his gaze back up to Magenta as she finished her fragment. She swallowed it with a pop and simply said,
"I do."
That had him laughing. He was already on the ground but that just solidified it. His stomach still cramped a bit when he laughed, but he just couldn't bring himself to care.
"You vanna try zhe rest on zhe ground? Knowing you, you have a full tzhird left in zhere."
"No I-" he wheezed- "I think I'm good. I think I'm happy to wing it from that part on. More than, even."
His feet really did hurt, but now he just felt the release of the heel being off. He loved wearing them, but the release always felt good. Similarly, he just felt.... content. It was like the fall had snapped a sense of comfort into him. A sense of assurance- just a sense that it was all going to be alright.
"Did you break anytzhing?" Magenta asked, still smiling.
"No, I... I don't think so at least," he said, with an ounce of tiredness and exhaustion in his voice.
"Here brotzher, let me check." She got up and kicked him in the ankle.
"OW!" he wheezed. "What the fuck was that?"
"It isn't broken!" She affirmed. "You vouldn't feel it if it vas!"
"That's not how that works! That's not how any of that works!" He couldn't help it and started laughing again. She helped him to his feet and let him lean on her as he kept laughing.
"Hello! I'm home!" A voice called from across their part of the house as he heard a door close.
FUCK. They'd lost track of time. Magenta all but ripped his coat off his shoulders as he started unfastening all of his jewelry. Choker and earrings- off. Magenta helped to all but throw him into his pajamas without getting makeup stains on them and then he bolted his way to the sink in the built-in bathroom and started washing off his makeup. He was drying his face by the time Cordelia walked into the room.
Holy fuck, she was everything that the world had to offer. In that moment he suddenly felt so much love for everyone in his life. How perfect his life was because of them! Cordelia and her creativity, Magenta and her sass, mama and her wit, Grandpa Scotty and his kindness. The way that Auncle Perci just couldn't go five seconds without making a move towards everyone that they met. The adorable, charming awkwardness of Brad and Janet and the never-ending rock and roll that was Columbia. He'd never thought this could happen to him, but it did. It so did. He was swelling and he thought he might be about to burst.
Cordelia noticed that something was up, her raven hair was shining as she took the half of it that was up down.
"Vhat is it, starlight?" She asked, puzzled.
"Zhis dumbass tripped, fell, saw his life flash before his eyes, and is suddenly feeling incredibly grateful."
Time, she'd saved it. That was fucking brilliant.
Cordelia smiled the sweetest smile at him. Came close, and gave him a little pet kiss and held him for a second before saying,
"I'm gonna go see if zhere are any cinnamon rolls left in zhe kitchen. Do eitzher of you vant vone if zhere are?"
They both immediately accepted and she walked off. The cinnamon rolls made him think of the candy store which made him think of the engagement ring in the back of its shelves. He flopped back onto his bed and sighed. He rolled over to look at his sister. The way he was looking at her, she almost seemed upside down. He smiled at that, a little playful smile that just felt right. He waited until he was certain that Cordelia was out of earshot before saying, with a playful smile,
"Magenta?"
"Yes?"
"I'm getting married."