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Riff Raff quietly pushed the glass door open and walked into the next jewelry store. Vibrancy Fashion was its name and it was the millionth store that Riff had visited this week.
Alright, it was only the 17th total in the time that he'd spent looking, but it still felt like the millionth.
How he'd managed all of this without it going crazy on the news, he had no idea. Thankfully, it seemed that his plan of "wear a hood and let your long hair fall out of the front some to abstruct things" was going quite well! Also, the jewelers knew how to keep their mouths shut. He'd taken the time to write a very nice review to each store and tip them through the roof, even if they hadn't had what he was looking for.
Still, the employees saw his face every time they came up to ask if he needed any help and he needed to make the most frantic and begging shush motion with his finger every time. He made his way to a room in the further portion of the store. The sign that pointed to engagement rings led here. He started looking in earnest.
Diamond, diamond, diamond, diamond, oh look! Prehnite! Most certainly the one colored ring here and it was still one color! Don't be bitchy, Riff, he reminded himself. These options objectively sell better and these people are objectively way more likely to buy these ones. Still though, he couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh of frustration.
He remembered what Cordelia had said when he'd asked her if she wanted to choose her ring herself. "If it's important to you, I vill, but I'd much ratzher it be your choice, I trust you and zhe surprise is more fun zhat way!" And by time if he wasn't thankful for that decision now! No doubt she would've insisted on settling for something more standard, and he was not going to have that! By standard he didn't mean "unfit for a Queen Consort" he more so meant "at least relatively simple design". It wasn't right for her. It didn't fit her personality. It had to have more colors than that!
He looked around for about another two minutes before a worker approached him and then the dance began. He started discreetly bringing his finger to his lips.
"Hi, zhere! Can I help you vitzh anytzhing-" and then in a hushed tone, "past, present, and future! It's-!"
"Shhhhhhhh" he whispered as desperately as he could. She had long brown hair and eyes and was standing as if she didn't know where to look. She had a name tag- Wylla.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to her. "I just can't have anyone knowing I'm here." He'd clearly been looking at the engagement rings. She'd get the picture.
"I understand! I do! I'm... just a bit in shock right now! your highness I'm so sorry-" She quickly sought to correct herself.
"Riff Raff, please. This isn't a professional setting on my part," he requested. "And you had a reaction, not a response. It's perfectly normal and you have nothing to apologize for in the slightest. Please try to believe that," he assured her as casually as he could. It was times like that when he didn't really know if he was the right person to be talking. His comforting words were primarily coming from his memories of being a scared little boy in servitude, though he did have some knowledge of psychology.
"Tzhank you, y.... Riff Raff. Tzhank you." She looked around nervously, before speaking again. "Um..." she nervously started, "It's 1:17AM on a veeknight, and you're zhe only person in zhe shop- let alone back here, vitzh no vindows. I don't zhink ve need to vhisper-"
"Oh thank time," he said in his normal voice, pulling his hood down and taking his maroon jacket off. "You would not believe just how much I've been sweating in that thing." He wished that he had a brush to run through his hair. His head had lots of light yellow strands with a dark root that had decided to frizz up underneath his hood. He'd always believed that night shift employees held all the world's secrets and this was the proof that he needed.
He sighed and put his jacket on the table for the time being. "Hi," he laughed out. "I'd like to... um... have you got anything that's multicolored?" He asked.
"He's just set up a whole section!" The employee responded. "Zhe boss, zhat is. I haven't looked at it yet- I vouldn't even begin to know vhat's in it. Zhey don't tell me zhose zhings for some reason."
"Perfect!" he said excitedly. "Can you show me?" She led him through the shop a bit until she stopped, appearing to be completely dumbfounded as to what she was looking at.
"I'm so sorry," she finally managed.
"What? What's wrong?" He asked, catching up. "If it's still coming soon then rest assured that that's fine by me! The world is wild and you needn't act like- what the...?"
Riff Raff didn't know what he had expected, but the advertisement, "if you shine the light on these diamonds just right, they'll sparkle rainbow! Just like the rainbow that you feel inside of your chest when you look at them!" had most certainly not been it.
"Is this your boss's doing?" Riff Raff finally asked the woman, his now also completely dumbfounded expression not changing.
"Yes," the woman finally admitted, pained.
"I'm sorry for you," Riff said, finally turning back to face her. "Is your company running into financial trouble?"
"Not really, it's just the boss being the boss," she admitted.
"If I give you a massive tip, will you be able to split it between yourself and the other workers without giving this boss of yours any funds to create more of these unfortunate ideas?"
"Yes, I can do tzhat."
"Fantastic," Riff groaned. He placed the money into the girl's hand, thanked her very much for her service, and left. It'd be a very solid amount for each worker and it would not be invested in more bullshit ideas.
Riff fastened his jacket up and made his way out of the shop. He let out a whine, buried his face in his hands, and said "fucking time I love you," at the wind in an exasperated manner, speaking in theory to Cordelia wherever she was. He looked up at the world and wrung his hands while trying to think.
What could he do? Regular jewelers were absolutely not working and he was starting to get a bit frightened. He started to puzzle through different ideas in his mind.
First idea: find some way to design one yourself and get it commissioned- unworkable. In the alternate universe in which she'd brought up the discussion first and therefore committed to being the one to propose, she'd have had a very easy time doing that, but alas, he had been the one to commit to proposing.
And he didn't regret it! Not at all! He wanted to be the one to ask. He loved her and wanted to tell her all the lovely things- Get your mind thinking again, Snowfall! A voice in his head rang out. It was nobody's in specific, he just needed to get focused again.
Second idea: Take out an ad or have some online post somewhere about where a fitting ring could be found- also unworkable! He'd get busted immediately and it would make the news throughout Transylvania, let alone how big it would be on Transsexual's news! It'd fuck up both the proposal and the wedding! He couldn't let that happen!
He exhaled and started pacing back and forth as he made frustrated stimming motions with his hands.
Why didn't anyone offer anything off the beat and path? He felt like he'd been caught in a trap where he needed something that wasn't so usual, but he had no idea where the unique rings could be hiding! They were so specific, it wasn't like he could just waltz into an alternative fashion store and-!
Then it finally hit him.
What if he could?
It wasn't impossible. There was an alternative fashion store that was pretty damn massive, and it was open all night!
He would be teleporting there immediately. He waited until he had the go ahead and then ran across the street to the nearest rest stop, went in, and found a teleporter right on the nearest wall. He punched in its coordinates.
Suddenly, he was in a rest stop right down the street from the store that he wanted to see. He exited the rest stop and speedwalked to the store as fast as he possibly could.
He made it through the automatic glass doors in the quickest manner possible and started speedwalking through the shop. Directions, directions, directions, he paid close attention to the signs overhead while he speedwalked like his life depended on it. Jewelry, jewelry, jewelry, I am in the jewelry section! Will it get any more specific than that? AHA! ENGAGEMENT RINGS! YES! YES! his mind was racing like its life depended on it. He started scanning the options. His heart was absolutely pounding. These were definitely better- none of them felt like they belonged on Cordelia's finger yet, but he could at least pin a personality down for each of them now and AH!
Time's bright future, he had found it. He'd found it! It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He finally came face to face with an employee. Lilliana, their nametag said.
"Hi! If I take off this hood here can you promise not to freak out and to use my first name and just generally treat me as normal as you possibly can?"
They probably thought he was about to rob the place. Perfect.
"Oh fuck," he sighed as he figured that out. "Don't worry I'm not going to rob you It's just me-!" he told the stranger as he took off his jacket. They seemed to stare at him for an eternity that lasted all of two seconds.
"I want- desperately- you have no idea how desperately- to be married! To be a married, married king!" Riff finally blurted out. His palms were sweating and his heart was racing. "This is the eighteenth store that I've been to. I hadn't seen a single ring that I could imagine giving to my woman until I came here and-"
"Oh please tell me tzhat it's Cordelia Fenling you two are so cute from vhat I've s-!"
"Yes of course It's Cordelia Fenling! Who else do you think I'd- I am so sorry that was not very kingly of me I'm just very very overwhelmed," he finally admitted whilst falling to the ground crying. "Please tell me that you have this in a size five," he choked out. "It's the only ring I've seen that I've felt should be hers."
The employee smiled at that. "Tzhat does make sense. She's marrying into royalty, after all."
"You don't understand! It's not that" Riff Raff said. "I'm marrying into the commercial interior design industry! And her specific type!"
"Tzhat also makes sense I suppose!" The employee replied. "So vhich vone-?"
"Please!" Riff Raff cried. "Please tell me that you have it in a size five! I know, I know! It's not your fault! Not your fault at all! If you don't have it I can soldier on I swear but please, this is the ring I want so desperately!" he said, pointing at the one he wanted.
"Vell, ve-"
"PLEASE!" He wept, before adding, "I'm so sorry this is not your fault-"
"Ve actually-"
"It's really alright I promise you I'm no worse off than I was before-"
"Hey! Ve have it in a size five, you know?" The employee finally was able to get out over him before backing off. "I'm sorry that wasn't very gentle I know you're just scared-"
"IT'S A MIRACLE!" Riff cried out, jumping to his feet and hugging the employee. Both of them kept periodically laughing as the employee rang up the ring for him. He was so happy. He tipped the employee and that store harder than he'd ever tipped anyone before. He'd never been so thrilled in his life- he finally had everything he needed to propose to the love of his life! He thanked the employee profusely and apologized for his miniature breakdown during the purchasing process. Thankfully, the employee found the whole situation hilarious and promised not to tell anybody anything about it unless Riff Raff brought it up publicly first himself. He felt so unspeakably grateful!
After he walked outside of the shop, he paused for a moment, feeling a lovely windy chill hit his face. He held the ring box close to his chest and felt his whole body swell with heat. His heart was beating with pure love. "I love you, Cori" he whispered into the wind as the swelling grew stronger. "My love, my Cordelia... Oh, my love!" He finally walked back to the rest stop and teleported home, more relieved than he'd felt in a long while.
***
"So," Riff Raff said the next day, standing in front of Magenta and holding the open ring box in front of her. The space between them was small enough that they couldn't really look in each other's eyes, but he knew that she could tell that he had a massively proud smirk on his face. "Do you still think I should've given up ten shops ago?" he challenged with a playful smile on his face and raised eyebrows.
Magenta was fully speechless with shock. He had won this one. She took a few steps away, her hand on her forehead and her mouth open. "How did you find zhat?" she finally asked.
"I just went to an alternative fashion store!" Riff laughed out. "I cried in front of the employee who rang me up but I did it!"
"I'm sure you did, you dork!" she laughed back. "You really vere right, I guess!"
"Hello! I'm home!" An unmistakable voice called into the family's part of the castle.
Fuck!
"Hide it!" Magenta frantically whispered. "Now!"
"You say that like you have to tell me!" Riff whispered back with equal force whilst rummaging through his closet. He found a coat of his in the back that had inside pockets and he quickly undid the zipper, unzipped the inside pocket, zipped up the inside pocket, and then zipped the coat back up.
Magenta was sighing at him. "Well it's not bad for having this one room as an option and I'll find a better spot later!" he whispered at her.
Magenta only laughed. He found himself loving that he amused her and laughed as well.
Cordelia came in, her face covered in paint. She looked confused for a second, before smiling and asking, "Did zhe story about zhe paint bucket splashing everyvhere make zhe news yet?" which caused all three of them to burst into laughter.
It had in fact made the news, but the three of them were so happily wrapped up in their own lives for once that they hadn't even noticed, and that was more than enough to make them perfectly happy!