Work Text:
Deep down, we are all just bones looking to be loved.
Osamu, dazai, bandage waster, whatever you want to call him, was aware of that.
He knew, in the very end, he will be below the ground. A bag of bones, a bag of bones that never got that love.
Thats why the pain didn’t hurt as much. He numbly stared at the ceiling as the blood dripping on his arms sluggishly slowed down, starting to scab and clot. He flinched at the thought— the feeling, too, though he wouldn’t admit it— and sighed softly, quietly. Delicately.
No, he shook his head. ‘Delicate’ didn’t suit a brute like him. A monster, ugly, demon like him. It suited a beautiful woman— one he surely would love to die with— or the gentle features his apprentice, Atsushi, sported. Hell— it suited anything and everything mother nature had to offer— besides him.
He was disgusting, gross, and oh so very sinful. His blood reeked of sin, his skin told stories of attempted redemption, yet, he could never redeem himself in the end. He knew it. Because what did a demon like him, do to deserve redemption?
A dry, humourless chuckle escaped his chapped lips— he seriously needed to find some chapstick— as he looked down from the ceiling. It was 6:30am, as the illuminated screen on his phone told him. He begrudgingly got up, the sting on his thighs and arms made him wince, as he turned the lights on and began his journey to the bathroom.
An hour, dissociative shower, replaced bandages, possibly one suicide attempt vis drowning, later— and dazai didn’t feel an ounce better than he did before. His back hurt, his wrists hurt, and Jesus did his legs hurt. That didn’t deter him from his next mission of the day— getting to work.
He had business. And first on his list? Annoying kunikida. That made any relapse better. It always did ʰᵉ’ᵈ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵃᵈᵐⁱᵗ ᶜʰⁱᵇⁱ ʷᵠˢ ʷᵃʸ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ after-all. A smile found its way onto his face in spite of himself. He had a day ahead of him, but maybe, just maybe, it wouldnt be so bad.
After-all, if no one in the world loved his bones, maybe, they could love his soul.