Archive of Our Own

The morning was pretty early. The sun had only started rising, but some carriages were already passing through the streets. People were waking up little by little, with nature accompanying them by letting the birds sing their morning melodies. In one of the early morning carriages was Maomao, bumping on her way to the La residence. She had a day off today and had sent a notice to her house two days prior that she was coming today. Yet, when the carriage finally stopped and she stepped outside, no one was waiting for her, not even a servant. Which was extremely weird. She didn't send a notice to her father or her mother specifically, because she didn't want to disturb them so early in the morning, but she knew that her brother woke as early as her, if not earlier sometimes, so that was why she chose to send a notice to him. Lahan would never ignore her notice like that, even if he wouldn't come himself, he would at least send someone, not even someone, but Sanfan, he knows that she cherishes her ex-lady-in-waiting. So how can this be?

Before, whenever Lakai would send a notice to him that she was coming home, he would always run outside and greet her, squeezing her in a hug the moment they stepped inside. He started hugging her a lot more ever since her kidnapping by the Shi clan. Whenever she was at home, he would come at least once a day to give her a hug. If they were somewhere outside for the day and won't see each other after parting ways, then he would try to lure her away from people's gaze and hug her there. Did it annoy Maomao? At first, yes, because she felt like it was unnecessary, but when they started seeing each other less and less, she also learnt to appreciate these little moments. If he couldn't greet her himself for some reason, he would send Sanfan, already changed to match whatever Maomao was going to wear, so she would know that today she had a lady-in-waiting. So, how can it be that there was no one to greet her?

Whatever, she was tired. Hopefully, the bath in her room was hot enough for her, and the clothes were already prepared and waiting for her in her room. But when she finally reached her room, there was nothing. The bath was pretty warm, but not hot enough, no clothes on her bed or in the bathroom. In her small wardrobe, however, were two coats and two hanfus: one more of a dark orange colour, while the other was a vibrant pink, both were gifts from Lady Gyokuyou. So there was nothing else left for her to do, except to take one of the two hanfus that were there and take a bath in slightly warm water.

Maomao was now all clean and changed. She did her hair as she usually would, since it looked pretty good with the outfit and because she wasn't planning on going out anyway. She stepped outside of her room and slowly started walking towards her brother's room. Better to confront him in his room, than just sit around and wait till he realises his mistake. But something felt off… No matter how early she came, the house still felt a little bit too much quiet. Like someone died or was about to. She was probably just imagining things, it was still pretty early. She came as soon as she could ask for a carriage, since she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall asleep. It still bothered her a lot, though. No matter how quiet it can be in the morning, today was something weirder than usual… She can figure it out later, for now, it's best to just reach her brother's room and ask him if she would still be interested.

The walk through the house was truly unlike any other before. Even when she used to sneak out from her room at night, the corridors didn't feel so… empty?... Like something was missing, some important thing that brought life to the household. She couldn't get her mind on it, though. No matter how smart Lady La was, there were things that even she didn't know and needed to ask others. Besides, she wasn't home a lot, she was coming from time to time, but even En’en and Yao were spending more time there now than she was. And this is her house, the one she was raised in! They should be in her granduncle's annex, but when she finally thought of going to see them – it was too late, the door to her brother's room was right in front of her. Of course, she can ignore it and just go to the annex, but… It would be bad for her coworkers to know that she willingly came home, better to stay here and just walk in, with a light knock on the door.

«Hanhan? Are you asleep?»

No answer came. Windows were shut, not a sound could be heard in the room. For a moment, Lakai thought that she couldn't even hear herself breathing. She slowly approached the bed where her brother was sleeping. Everything seemed fine at first, but her eyes didn't move to his face, instead, they moved to his pillow. There were no glasses. He always left his glasses on the right side of his pillow because it was easier to grab from there. When he wakes up, the first thing he does is put on his glasses, then and only then can he do everything else. He would always sleep on his back, because it would be easier then to sleep in glasses, as he had this habit back when he was a child, because he would read in the bed before falling asleep, and to not crush his precious glasses, he started sleeping only on his back, not even moving in the sleep. He even had a special piece of cloth of the highest quality for his glasses, with which he would clean them and on which they would lie near his pillow while he was sleeping. So, how can it be that it was not there?

Young lady came closer to the bed, touching the space where the glasses would usually be. There was truly nothing. Not even a hint on where they can be. Was this a joke? Who would dare to move his glasses? He wouldn't leave his glasses somewhere else himself, especially if he was sleeping in his bed. She did see him leaving his precious glasses in other places before going to sleep before, but it was because he wasn't sleeping in the bed or wasn't sleeping alone. 

One of these times, she remembers pretty well, all three of them were still pretty young and could be scared pretty easily. And that was what happened. They couldn't leave the house all day because it had been raining all day long, so kids just tried to play inside together. But closer to the night, rain turned into a pretty loud thunder, making even adults shiver when they heard it. At that moment, Junjie and Lahan shared a room together, because of Lahan's and Lakai's recent argument, their rooms were a complete mess and needed some renovations. So the girl was sleeping with her parents, while Lahan slept with his brother. The reason for their such a violent argument? He said that medicine is useless, and she went and destroyed his room while he was on a stroll and left a note with “Ask your stupid numbers to repair this”. So Lahan then went and destroyed her room, not leaving any letters, because he was caught red-handed. Both of them were dragged to their grandfather, who could only sigh and, as a punishment, make them spend all their studying time together, so that they won't go and do their own thing. And the thunder made both Lahan and Lakai too scared to be alone. Lahan had Junjie, but Lakai was alone, because almost every adult whom she trusted left for the banquet that they were forced to attend. The kids weren't welcome there, as it was going to be a pretty long one, so three children of the La clan were left behind. First, Lakai tried to deal with the thunder alone, but then she decided to come to her brothers’ room to sleep with them. Lahan had a small bed where he was sleeping, but Maomao asked him very nicely to sleep in the same bed as her and Junjie. So he left his glasses on his bed, and with the help of his sister, made it to the bigger bed, where all three of them slept tightly, even if still frightened.

The warm memory caused her to smile slightly. Junjie still had a long way to come from the Western Capital, so she wouldn't see him for a while, but her other brother was right in front of her. She did become closer with the eldest out of them all, thanks to the year spent together, but ultimately the closest to her in the family was Lahan, no matter how much both of them denied it. Junjie was in second place. She started to get carried away. The glasses were missing, and it was her duty to find them before the fox woke up and tore everyone apart.

Maomao looked on the bed and around it, searching every single place where they could be, but there was nothing. Then she looked at the table and searched around it. That can't be right. Maybe someone else had come into his room and had stolen them. She walked out of the room and closed the door shut behind her, taking a really deep breath.

«Where are Lahan's glasses?!» Could be heard in the house, if not the whole residence. Almost instantly, to her yelling came two servants, each bowing as they tried to say something, but the cat was too focused on just getting an answer, instead of the whole explanation.

«Lady Lakai, please, don't shout..»

«Lady Lakai, let us explain everything..»

«Don’t “Lady Lakai” me! I asked you a question, and I can repeat it again, if you didn't hear it properly: Where the hell are Lahan's glasses?! Where could my brother's glasses go when he cherishes them so much?! If you are not going to answer – just leave!»

As she again yelled at two poor servants, the door into the young master's room was slammed loudly. She was really mad. Yet, her brother didn't show any signs of waking up at all, what a moron. She should've woken him up more often as they were younger, perhaps then he wouldn't still be stuck in his bed. Whatever, better for everyone in the house. He would go even more violent than she already did, as she just opened his wardrobe and started searching through it, trying to find those precious of his. Maybe she wasn't thinking straight. If she just opens the window, she will start thinking and seeing more clearly. She wasn't able to do it, though, as someone walked into the room, stopping her from anything she planned to do with just her look.

«My Lady, please, don't scream. We do have guests in the annex, it wouldn't be good if they woke up, right? What is it about Master Lahan’s glasses?»

Sanfan slowly entered the room. She was wearing a black man’s attire, probably not expecting to see Maomao, as her gaze was filled with shock. Her voice, however, didn't show any shock in it, just calmness, but not just any calmness, as it is, it felt more like her not caring at all, being rather cold and annoyed with everything. Now that was not the attitude you should show to someone you served, especially when they were angry. Sanfan knew all of that, but she couldn't really control that, she just lost her master, who could blame her? Well, apparently, her mistress pretty much could.

«You have been serving him for quite some time, yet you don't know what his glasses are for?! He can't see without them! His glasses are always next to his pillow when he goes to sleep, so how can it be that they are not there?! Did someone decide to play a little stupid prank on their master?! Or does someone want to live life on the streets, where they were found?! You might say, “Oh, but he can't see without them, so what would he do?”. It's not him who you should fear, but me. Yes, he indeed can't see without his stupid glasses, but I can be his glasses instead of them if needed, and will make sure that whoever played this stupid prank will be punished! So I will ask this again only once. Where are his glasses?»

Ah. She didn't know what happened. It struck Sanfan at that moment. Her mistress didn't know what happened to the young master. She did make sure to send a message to her earlier, so her lady would prepare herself mentally, but… Considering that she was changed in one of the hanfus that were in her room and she didn't have such a strong smell of herbs, but instead a pleasant aroma of dandelions, something the young master chose for her, perhaps she didn't get the message… If that's the case, then what was Sanfan to do? Does she just break it like that? Or does she make someone else tell her? If she does it herself, then she needs to do it as delicately as possible, she can't hurt her lady too much. Even though it will be hurtful no matter how they present it. Sanfan did know that they were close, and now it was playing against her. What was she to do?...

Thankfully, while she was thinking under her mistress’s raging gaze, a servant came and quietly whispered in her ear, to make sure that no one else could hear it: “The Moon Prince arrived to pay respect to the dead young master himself. Madam and Master Lakan are down, but it would be best if we could get the young lady out.”. Now that was a problem. Just one problem after another. How was she supposed to get her lady out when she's about to kill someone? It took a servant a long time to take a deep breath, but she was never able to say another word.

«Whatever. If you can't tell me anything, I will find my father and ask him for people myself. At least he won't just ignore me or my questions.»

Sanfan was going to hold her lady back. She can't go out, not like that. It was her job to make sure that her lady knows and how she feels, to help her process everything. If she goes out just like this, she will find out everything in the worst possible way. She had to stop her lady, but how? She reached for her hand and tried to hold onto it, but Maomao only threw her an angry look and walked right past her. This is bad. This is really bad. What was she supposed to do? 

Unfortunately, her thinking was too long, as her lady was now banging on the doors to the biggest bedroom in the house – her parents’ room. Servant quickly came from behind, trying to comfort and calm the young mistress down with words.

«My lady, please. Lady Fengxian and Master Lakan are outside with a guest, perhaps we can wait for them to return, instead of making a scene?»

«Excuse me? My brother has lost his glasses, and you want for me to go and just accept this?! You should know better than anyone why I care so much, Sanfan. I don't care what dad is busy with. Let the Emperor himself come to us, I would still come to him and demand help. So you can either tell me where he is, or I will find myself.»

She was serious. The look on her face scared Sanfan to death. She had seen her mistress mad before, but that mad?... This was truly horrifying, the feeling of her mistress's eyes on her slowly started to bite into her skin ruthlessly, leaving marks behind that will never fade. She backed against the wall, trying to escape it, even hiding her eyes with the sleeves of her attire, but nothing helped. Even if she couldn't see her lady, she could feel her overwhelming presence, pressuring her into doing whatever it was needed. Sanfan almost forgot whose daughter she was. She rarely used this glance and this expression, but when she did, it was driving people to the edge of going mad. She didn't do it just for fun, she was sure that Sanfan knew way more at the moment than she did, and that was like a threat to her right now. How can a servant know more than her mistress? That's just absurd! And yet, it was true. It was the reason why, no matter how much she tried to get any advantage there, she dug her own grave even further. Her mistress wasn't going to back down, which is exactly why the servant just gave in.

«Master Lakan should be outside meeting a guest. Unfortunately, I, myself, don't know who he is meeting, but you can ask him directly when you see him. Should I prepare another outfit and a bath for you?»

Only then did the atmosphere shift. It became a bit less sophisticated as Maomao just turned and walked away with fast, aggressive, and heavy steps. As the steps quieted, Sanfan allowed herself to drop to the floor. She slowly started taking deep breaths, patting herself on the chest. This was definitely the scariest meeting with her lady she had ever had. Her gaze could still be felt crawling under her skin, getting to every single blood cell, getting to every single thought of her mind. There was nothing but that gaze, nothing left except for that sophistication. No one ever tried to choke her, even when she was running away from her marriage. But if someone ever tried, at least it wouldn't be as scary as her lady. She has to pull herself together and push through. She will have to calm her lady down once she finds out, it is her duty, after all. Since the young master is gone, she has only one person to serve to and she will do it as best as she can. 

Steps loudly echoed through the corridors of the house. Her heart was pounding in her chest like crazy, she was short of breath from constant screaming. Whenever a servant passed her, she would grab them by the collar and ask, “Where are Lahan's glasses? If you don't know where they are, then point me to the person who you think might know.”. Each time the servant would just shake their head and point towards the main entrance, which only angered their young, and as it turns out, short-tempered mistress. Was she ever that mad? Even when before she had to deal with stuff that made her angry, she never left people that she passed, gasping and clinging to the walls for dear life. And it was just over a pair of glasses! It wasn't “just a pair of glasses” to her, it was an important part of her brother, without which he couldn't survive, with which he couldn't trust anyone but her. How can she not “overreact” over them being missing? Since everyone was talking about going and asking her father, perhaps that's what she should do.

«You shouldn't have come yourself, Moon Prince. Sending someone as an imperial family representative would've been enough. I'm sure you have a lot of things to attend to.» 

A couple stood in front of the prince. A woman and a man, both dressed in all black, mourning someone. He never met the woman up close, only heard about her from the man and once saw her from afar, but when he looked at her, he got immediately reminded of a certain Apothecary… The only differences were the height and the eye colour. Anyone could tell that that cat of his and that woman were mother and daughter, exact copies of each other. Seems the only things a girl got from her father were her eye colour and the extreme love for the stuff that interests her. He couldn't laugh at it, though, he wasn't here to laugh or fool around. He came here to pay respect.

«No, I should have. We never became friends, but we did work pretty much together on some problems, so it's only appropriate that I came myself. I am truly sorry for your loss. He was a great person.»

Jinshi slightly bowed to the couple. Man didn't pay him any mind, being in his own thoughts, while the woman tried to at least make him slightly bow. Her eyes still looked wet, and her hands were shaking a bit. Perhaps she was crying right before they stepped outside. Unfortunately, the prince couldn't study a married couple more, as his attention was stolen by a loudly opened door and a certain girl, who was walking very fast to the man.

«Uh… Grand Commander Kan… You may want to move aside..»

His warning was too late, unfortunately, as the lady reached him faster, her hands turning him around to face her and grabbing him by the collar, so that his face would be as close to her as it could be.

«Where are his glasses?! Take off your stupid monocle and give Lahan his glasses back! You know that he can't see anything without them! And yet you took them away! I know, he's not your biological son, but taking his glasses away is a little too much, even for you!»

She was shaking the man really hard. She was a daughter of a military official after all, so expecting her not to have at least some strength would be weird, but… Her father wasn't exactly strong himself, unless he was really angry. Looks like she inherited this feature of his as well. But this can turn violent pretty soon if no one manages to calm her down. Why was she asking about his glasses, though? She didn't know? There would be no way she wouldn't. He did take Chue with him, instead of another bodyguard, exactly for the reason to comfort her all the best way he could, knowing that they were close, but could that be that she didn't even know about her brother's condition?... Why wouldn't anyone tell her? Or maybe they just didn't have enough time for that…

«Lakai… My sweet little girl… Can you stop shaking me, please?» Lakan’s hand reached for his daughter's cheek and lightly cupped it, in hopes of calming her down. And to everyone's surprise, it actually did. She stopped shaking him, instead, she just raised an eyebrow in confusion mixed with anger. How can he be so calm? How can he not care? He, indeed, was heartless to everything other than her and her mother. Just as she took a deep breath to start screaming again, a gentle hand patted her on the shoulder. Her mother was standing next to her, looking down on her with wet eyes. Why was she crying? How long has she been crying? Was it because of her father? What was the reason? Her grip tightened on her father's collar, which resulted in the hand from her shoulder disappeare and appear again on her hands.

«Kaikai, dearest, please, let go of your father. Lahan doesn't need glasses anymore… Don't you know what happened?»

«Stop just saying “Lakai” and “Don't you know what happened?”! I know my damn name and I have no idea what you are talking about! You can just say it, instead of being so gentle! And what do you mean by “he doesn't need his glasses anymore”?! Of course, he needs them! If he wakes up and doesn't find his glasses next to his pillow, this house will be gone for good! Just what is wrong with everyone today?!»

So she really didn't know… What were they to do then?... He had seen Maomao mad before, but this was on a whole other level… Last time he had seen her mad, she just slapped the maid across the face, but this… She didn't even need to throw her hands, her stare, and her words alone could kill the whole country, yet her father and her mother were untouched. Perhaps that's because she's their blood, so they are immune to this, but he could feel himself being short of breath. And he was standing pretty far from the family… He threw a glance back at his companions for today: Basen and Chue. Chue had a sharp tongue and mind, she probably already grasped that Maomao is unaware of the reason for their visit. She couldn't help herself, but commented on that fact.

«That’s so weird. Miss Maomao is pretty close with the young Sir Lahan, yet she doesn't know that he's de- » She didn't get to finish her sentence, as Basen placed his arm over her mouth. Usually, he wouldn't dare to do something like that to his sister-in-law, he was scared to break her even more, as she was pretty small and after the Western Capital kind of broken, if you can say it like that. But closing her mouth was more important right now. He gave her a snack to completely silence her. After receiving a nod from the prince, he stepped aside from his sister-in-law, giving her more room. 

Maomao didn’t hear Chue's comment, thankfully. She was too busy terrorising her father with her glare, completely ignoring her mother, who was trying to calm her down. Jinshi walked closer to them and took a deep breath. 

«Perhaps I can explain to the young lady what happened? Is there a room to spare, where we can talk?»

He tried to make his voice sound as sweet as it was when he was eunuch Jinshi. It was hard to do, as he was worried a lot himself. His cat was on the edge of doing something really bad, and he couldn't even help her, he was pretty useless himself, which made him give her a sad smile as she turned her head to him. Her expression immediately changed from the one of a mad person to a confused one. Maomao was staring at him, questioning with just her look. She didn't say anything as he carefully took her hands from the Grand Commander’s collar, then hid her palms in her sleeves, giving her a slight smile.

«Maomao, where can we talk? I can tell you everything I know.»

The lady didn't say anything. She was quiet, just staring at his black belt. She slowly lowered her hands, still hiding them in her sleeves. She was slowly getting back to herself. She never meant to scream at anyone, especially with the Moon Prince and his attendants present. That was not a good sight. He had seen her like this before, but this was definitely new even for him. She needed to calm down, her demanding an answer from everyone won't do anyone any good. She exhaled sharply and looked up to the man with the beauty of a celestial nymph, nodded to him, and walked right past him to the main entrance of the building.

«My room… Let's go to my room…»

Lakai didn't look back as she slowly walked. She didn't need to, she knew he was following her without any questions, like he always does. Her steps still felt heavy, but this time only to herself. They were actually quiet and light, while for her, it felt harder with each one. What was wrong with her? She was sure now that something was wrong, she didn't pay any attention to it before, but everyone was either wearing black or at least having black elements in their outfits. Not quite unusual, but if everyone was doing it, which was the case, then something was definitely wrong. As if someone died and they were mourning… But that just simply can't be the truth, right? Her brother would never leave her so suddenly like that, he would never just die so out of the blue. That is not like at all, he would never, especially as he was the heir of their clan. 

She couldn't move. Her whole body felt extremely heavy. Was it what Master Jinshi was going to tell her? That her brother is dead? No, that just simply couldn't be the truth, he would never die like that. Even if he would, why wouldn't anyone tell her right that second? Why would they wait? Why would they let her wear that damn flashy outfit, while everyone is mourning? To show how much she hates him? But she doesn't hate him. He's her brother, she can't hate him, no matter how much they argue, she still cares about him, she was still worried about him. Her hands were trying to steady her on the door, but it opened instead, almost making her fall, if she hadn't been caught by someone else's hand.

«Maomao! Are you alright? What's wrong? You should sit down, let's go inside.»

A gentle voice brought her out of her thoughts. She steadied herself with his help and looked up to him, trying to find an answer in his face. She couldn't bring herself to ask him. What if it was the truth? Her brother indeed left her and hadn't even said a word. No, no. That couldn't be the truth, he would never do that. He would at least say goodbye. He would at least brag about how much he loves his numbers and how everyone should see beauty in them as well. He would never leave without saying a word, especially without saying a word to her. Weren't they close? She was sure they were close, no matter how she hated to admit it. But they were close, weren't they? He even took her lady-in-waiting as his own attendant when she asked him to, even though he didn't need more attendants. Her fingers gripped into the imperial hands that were still holding her and looked into the imperial purplish eyes. Her throat felt dry, she couldn't bring herself to ask that. What if the answer is really yes? What if… No, that's right, it might not be. Maybe he just found out about the resurrection drug and took it, unaware of how it works? That's right. That's what happened. She should just believe in this and ask confidently, hopefully, her voice won't be shaking as much as she was.

«Jin–. I mean, Moon Prince. What is with Lahan?» Her voice was shaking. It was shaking even more than she herself. Her grip was tight, if there weren't layers of clothing, her fingers would surely leave marks. Her eyes were searching for something anywhere else but his eyes, she couldn't bring herself to look in his eyes. He wouldn't lie to her, he had never lied to her before. Except for the fact of him not mentioning being actually a prince, not a eunuch. But aside from that, never. So he surely won't lie to her now… Still, she couldn't make herself hear him or see him. She needed to know, she needed to be sure. 

«Well… Yesterday, Lahan had surgery because of an accident that occurred earlier during his visit to the training grounds… Unfortunately… Maomao? Maomao, where are you going?»

She didn't even finish listening to him, she walked right past him. No. That could not be the truth. Possibly not. Her legs were moving on their own, leading her to her brother's room. There were no thoughts in her head, she couldn't hear or feel anything. The only sounds in her ears were her heart that was pounding at a rapid pace and her short breaths. She started to finally see again once she reached her brother's room.

Only now she paid more attention to Lahan, not what was around him. He looked cold, like those bodies that she had to dissect as part of her learning, his eyes were covered with a black cloth across his face, his arms were flat on his stomach. She stepped closer with small steps, not daring to look anywhere else. That cannot be the truth. There was no way. Today was supposed to be the day they would go outside and buy stuff. He was supposed to visit Chou-u and Sazen with her. And then in the evening, they were supposed to have a family dinner. How could he do this to her? How could he leave her like that, when they had already made plans? She couldn't feel the ground under her feet, the pounding in the chest became a little too painful, making her hold tight to it. Maybe there was a little hint of the pulse? Perhaps there could be, perhaps he really just took a resurrection drug, and he will wake up soon. Her hand slowly touched her brother's, desperately searching for the pulse. She didn't press too hard at first, hoping that it would be easy to find, but it wasn't. There wasn't any pulse, just the coldness of the body. Master Jinshi did say something about the surgery… Then, there would be no way that the resurrection drug was taken… Even if it was, it would be easy to discover… Her brother was really gone. Lahan was indeed dead.

Her eyes opened widely as she sat straight in the bed, breathing heavily, her hands holding on her chest and each other. She didn't see anything, it was too dark, the only sound she could hear was still her pounding heart and the words in her head, “Unfortunately, Lahan…”. She was trying to calm herself down by patting on her chest and by rocking back and forth. She was mumbling to herself all this time, her brother's name, switching between the shortened nickname and his full name. She slowly could feel and hear things around her as well, she finally managed to hear a worried voice right next to her.

«Maomao? Is everything alright? You just woke up in the middle of the night, are you fine?»

It was Jinshi. He was sitting now next to her with a look full of worry. He wasn't wearing anything black, just his usual white night garments, in which she had seen him multiple times before. She was in her night garments herself. So what happened? Were those just memories? Future? Or just a really bad dream? Her hands were still clinging to each other, she was trying desperately to feel her own warmth, but all there was only coldness from her vivid memory. Even as the prince took her hands, so she wouldn't accidentally scratch herself, she could feel pulseless, cold arms. Her eyes felt watery, head was hurting as well. She didn't answer his question, she didn't remember why she was there, she couldn't. All there was in her head is a memory of her deceased brother in bed and the pain that she felt from it. She got out of bed on her own, walking towards the door. She couldn't grasp the reality yet, couldn't understand what was happening, when she felt herself being in a warm embrace.

«Maomao! What's wrong with you? You woke up all shaking and have been just repeating “Lahan”, “Han” and “Hanhan” for quite some time. And now you are going somewhere. Do you need to use the bathroom? Is there anything I can do for you?»

She didn't say anything, she just couldn't. Her eyes found the eyes of the one, who was holding her tight from the back, with his warm hands. It felt nice, it was bringing her bit by bit out of the awful memories. His eyes were screaming with worry and confusion. That's right. She wasn't at the dormitory or at her house. She was in the Moon Prince’s palace. He had invited her for tea in the evening, and she had come, then they cuddled and fell asleep like that. So from where did she get this crazy dream?... Lakai was opening her mouth, but the words just couldn't come out. Her throat felt too dry from all the breathing with open mouth, because breathing through the nose felt like not enough. Finally, she took deep enough breath to manage just a couple of words.

«I want to go home..»

It was pretty quiet, she wasn't sure if she could even hear herself. She needs to go to the La residence, she needs to check herself whether her brother is alive or not. She won't be able to fall asleep otherwise. Her breathing finally reached a steady rhythm and she could stop breathing through her mouth. She walked away from him and fixed her garments. At the moment Maomao didn't know how she looked and had no way of knowing. But if her guesses from the look at the man in front of her were right, she wouldn't look too good. 

«I don't think going to the dormitory at this hour is a good idea… They probably will question you and it is the middle of the night…»

«I don't mean the dormitory, I mean the La residence. My home, my house. Can we go there or not? If you can't ask for carriage, I can go by foot or maybe I can ride a horse, if you will agree to come with me, as I was never taught how to ride it»

«I will ask for a carriage… Wait here for me, alright? Would you like to take a bath or change while we wait for it?»

«No. Just make sure it arrives quickly. I don't care how it looks, it can scream “Imperial family”. But it needs to be fast.»

«Noted. But tell me… Why do you suddenly need to go there?...»

«I will tell you on our way there. Please, can we go as soon as possible?»

«Yes. Stay here, I will come back in a second.»

His warm palm cupped her check for a second, then leaving her alone in the room. Maomao slowly walked towards the bed and sat down, trying to gather her thoughts in order. This was just a bad dream, she just had a nightmare about her brother being dead, for some stupid reason. She's in Jinshi's room, in his palace, it was the middle of the night. She woke herself and most likely woke him up as well. Now, he was out there asking for a carriage on her first demand, just like that, without another look or question. How thoughtful of him. She wouldn't ask extra questions then as well, for example, why was Miss Chue here, in his room, in that hour and why was she helping her putting an overrobe on. She just simply didn't notice her coming. 

Chue was leading her lady by the hand through the dark corridors. Her hand felt nice and warm, and helped Maomao to stay there, not going back to that memory. Usually she didn't get dreams at all, or even if there were some, she would forget instantly after waking up. So what was wrong now? Why did she remember everything that happened in the dream? Why was it still so well remembered in her mind? Did she do something wrong? Was it some sort of a prophecy? No, such things don't exist, prophecy is just something stupid, made up by religious people. The only prophecies she could believe in were the ones from nature, like how locusts grow and change and how it can lead to the swarm. 

She snapped out of her thoughts once again when someone's palm gently cupped her face. In front of her sat Moon Prince with eyes full of worry. He, unlike her, changed into something more appropriate, while the only thing she had on, besides her night garments, was her dark green overrobe. He didn't rush her or anything, just tried to give her comfort, to let her warm herself in his embrace if needed. She, however, rejected his comfort, carefully moving his hand away from her cheek. He didn't say anything against it and just made a sad face for a second.

«So… Do you mind telling me now? About why are we suddenly going to the residence of the La clan in the middle of the night?»

Maomao took a deep breath. That's right. That was their deal: he gets a carriage, and there she shares the reason for her distress. Maybe his hand would really feel nice right now. She couldn't escape the chest-breaking feeling, but maybe at least she could escape the sense and imagery of the cold body. As her fingers wrapped his arm, not too hard to not leave the marks of her grip, she took a few quick, sharp breaths and quietly spoke, which made Jinshi lean down to hear her better.

«I had a nightmare, a really bad one. I really don't want to remember all the details, so if you let me, I will just make the long story short: in that dream, Lahan went through some type of surgery and… And he… He…»

Her voice was already shaking, but by the end she couldn't hear herself. Even as she was holding the warm, loving arm, while the other was caressing her back, she could still see the image that her brain made very well. The breaking feeling in the chest started to appear slowly again, making it difficult for her to breathe, tears were slowly framing her face, making sure to leave wet traces behind them, even as someone was wiping them for her. She tried to get the final word out of her mouth, but she didn't as the carriage stopped. His hands didn’t go anywhere, however. While one was caressing her back to comfort her, the other was still in her tight grip. He threw a glance outside to check where they were, then returned a caring gaze to her. His voice was sweet like honey in her ears, kicking other unpleasant thoughts out of her head, which let her calm down a bit.

«Seems we have arrived. I did ask to take the shortest route and to go as fast as we could, just like you asked. Should I go with you? I can leave only Chue with you and leave myself, if you wish. Just say a word.»

Did she want him with her? She couldn’t know, she had to just get out of that carriage and go check on her brother, but… Did she need Jinshi with her? It should be obvious that she should just thank him and send him back to get some more sleep. That’s what was probably best as well, her father would surely lay his hands on the prince if he found out about what sort of feelings they share, he wouldn’t care even for a second that it was the Moon Prince. But she didn’t want him gone, she wanted him by her side, just to know that he was near. Even if she won’t be able to hear, feel, or see others, just him trying to help her if needed was enough.

«I should tell you to go home, it would be the most appropriate thing for someone of your status… Besides, you probably have a lot of work tomorrow, so it would, indeed, be best to drop me off and return home to take some sleep, but… If you could stay, that would be really nice…»

She didn’t want to hear his answer, she didn’t need to hear his answer. She quickly stood up and got out of the carriage. At the corner of her eye, she saw one of the two guards questioning Basen and Chue, who must’ve come with them by Jinshi’s order. The other guard gave her a quick nod as she ran past him to the house. She didn’t pay much mind to where she was going, the corridors were dark, as the light of the moon didn’t reach the windows here. When she finally reached the room where her brother should be, she opened it without a note of hesitation, only to be met with emptiness. The room was dark, true, she couldn’t see much, but the moonlight lit the room enough to let her know that who she was looking for wasn’t there.

Her heart dropped. The same feeling from the dream started slowly corrupting her once again. He wasn’t there. Lahan would never sleep somewhere else unless it was absolutely necessary, she knew that. Maybe he had to stay back in the palace tonight because of the amount of work, which could always be a possibility. But Lakai couldn’t think straight at the moment. Her brother was gone, she didn’t know where he was, what he was doing, was he even alive at this point. Breathing became hard again, her hands were trying to seek balance in the door frame while her legs were betraying her, not letting her stand, and making her fall down to her knees. She stared blankly into the room when someone whispered near her ear. «Master Lahan is in your study, My Lady.»

Maomao immediately stood up and started running to her study. It was on the first floor, the closest room to the side exit, which led to the garden. A few years ago, her father made it for her, so she could work on her medicine at home as well, instead of always running to the pleasure district. It even had a bathroom and a bed in it, specifically so she could stay there instead of her actual room, if she wanted to. Later, she and Lahan started to use this room to sneak to the garden, because the side exit was closing for the night from them specifically, and at the main entrance, they would easily get caught. So her room with windows right in the garden was the perfect escape route. When she finally reached that room from her memories, in a swift move, she opened the door and ran to the bed, which was right under the window. There he was, Lahan, lying in the bed on his back flat. This time, unlike in her dream, his glasses were indeed on the right side of his bed and there was nothing on his eyes.  A sigh of relief left her instantly, as she grabbed her brother by the shoulders and started shaking him.

«Lahan! Lahan! Kan Lahan! Wake up! Han! Wake up!»

She wanted to scream, she tried to make it sound like a scream, but it was, in fact, just her usual voice. Her throat was sore and she couldn't make much noise out of it. Her arms were shaking him on their own, not planning to stop, until her brother finally opened his eyes in shock. When she finally met his brown confused eyes, her hands stopped shaking him, a quick relieved breath left her mouth, eyes slowly becoming wet, and tears framed her face, as she just fell flat on her, obviously, alive brother, hugging him tightly.

«Good morning to you too, dear sister..» Lahan gave the girl on top of him a confused look, before slightly moving, to sit himself up. Maomao followed him, hiding her crying face on his shoulder, still hugging him tightly and sitting herself on the edge of the bed. He took his glasses from the bed and them on, fixing on his nose and looking around the room. Near the door were standing two people. One person he knew very well, Sanfan, his and his sister’s shared attendant, no matter how weirdly it sounds, the other he knew not so well, but could tell anywhere, who was the owner of such perfect beauty – the Moon Prince himself came to the La residence at night. How could've that happened? He can ask about it later. For now, he tried to help his sister get in bed next to him, so she wouldn't sit half on the floor, even if she was still clinging to him.

«Sanfan, bring some water and tea to drink for us and our honourable guest. And prepare a room for the Moon Prince as well.»

«If it's alright, could you prepare two rooms? I have a female attendant with me as well, she would also need a room. Thank you.»

Jinshi gave his usual smile to the servant, but there was no reaction from him, aside from a polite bow. Well that was weird. He was used to anyone melting at this smile. Was this because that was the La household? There was a saying that everyone, who serves to the La clan is extraordinary. Seems like it's the truth. 

In the middle of rhe room were a couch and a chair, which was taken by the Moon Prince and placed closer to the bed, but not too close. He gave a slight bow before sitting down.

«I apologise for not being able to greet you properly, as I'm being held down.»

«It’s quite alright, I understand. Better seeing her like this than as if she saw something really scary.»

«Is there a thunder tonight?»

By the start of their dialogue, Lakai was already asleep, positioned herself on her brother's shoulder. Even as she was asleep, the quiet sobs could be heard from her. Her whole body was shaking from cold or constant sobbing, the cause wasn't very clear, even as a blanket was wrapped around her. One of Lahan's wrapped around his sister, slowly caressing her head, trying to calm her down.

«Do you mind me asking the reason for your visit at such hour?» 

«No, of course. We definitely owe you an explanation, after all it's the middle of the night. Maomao woke up all scared and asked to go home, so that's what we did. She asked me to stay, but, if you want me to leave, I will do just that.»

«There is no need for that. Thank you for completing her request without any questions.»

Thankfully, Lahan didn't question him for the reason why they were together in the first place. Not just that, but after all they were sleeping together, so it's even more suspicious. It ached to see her in such state. He always wanted to project her, but couldn't even help her at this very moment. It was really weird to see her so scared and crying. She wasn't scared even as she was kidnapped. Three times. Two of them under his watch. She wasn't scared even as she had to do the first ever surgery herself, if he believed the words of those, who were near in that moment. But the dream with her brother in it made her not only crying, but also being scared for life. As he was licking his dried lips, the same servant walked in and left a teapot with cups and just as quietly was going to leave, but Jinshi caught her on that and again offered a smile as a gratitude. This time, however, he received a frown and rolled eyes, as the servant quickly walked out.

«This is the second person who reacts like this to my smile. Is he related to my dear cat somehow?»

Lahan took a sip out of his cup, giving a questioning look to the prince. His cat? He did know in what kind of relationships his sister and the prince were, but calling her his in front of her brother is a little bit too much, no? Whatever. He can play just tell on him later to his sister, and she will surely know what to do. 

«Well, she actually was an attendant of my sister's. Sanfan was and still is Kaikai’s lady-in-waiting, we just share her. When Kai is home, Sanfan is attending her, when she's out, then Sanfan is working for me. Quite easy.»

«I see how it is.» Jinshi just chuckled at the answer. Truly what a cunning family. He almost forgot that the La’s were called “The foxes of the East”. Lahan didn't say anything weird, but his gaze made him feel a shiver down his spine. No matter how much he disliked the La's, they were still someone, who will be wherever Maomao is, as she's part of the clan, after all. On the other hand, it's pretty good that she has someone who will always be by her side no matter what, even if she will commit a treason. Maybe she would even be able to get away with it with her father's help. He needed good relations with them, if he wanted to marry Maomao that he knew for sure.

«Lakai is scared of the thunder, which is pretty funny, considering that she seems to be found of the rain. She might act not it, but the thunder can be the reason of her not sleeping untill morning. Even if she acts like everything's fine, it's still best to wrap her in the blanket, offer her some herbal tea with rice crackers and cuddle her up. She might fall asleep like that, but it's best not to leave her till the thunder is over.»

Both cups were empty long time ago. Jinshi was carefully studying the room with his eyes before Lahan said anything. The fox’s voice was the one of a consideration for his younger sister. He didn't say anything to this, just nodded. But… Why would Lahan tell him something like that? Did he know about what sort of relationship he and Maomao were? If he does, then what is it will be out of him? Will he try to harm him? But instead of any other words, he just heard a chuckle, which made his nervous face relax a little.

«Don’t worry, I won't tell anyone what sort of relationship you share with my little sister. She told me once, because she needed to share with someone, but couldn't. Besides, isn't it weird that out of all people she came with you, Moon Prince? In the middle of the night? I will just hope that you didn't do anything weird before that. Consider that little fact about her, as some sort of gratitude for bringing her as soon as she demanded.»

None of them said anything for a few seconds again, as Jinshi was just staring at the fox in disbelief. Maomao told him herself? Moreover, she wanted to share about them? He did hear from her before, that she's actually pretty close with her family, she just prefers to hide it, but to the point of telling such a huge secret… Especially considering how protective her father can be… She must really trust Lahan a lot. But why was he here and not in his room? His dear cat did run to, what seemed to be his room first and then went there, after a servant told her to. Perhaps, he should just ask, instead of playing a guessing game.

«Of course… If you mind me asking, why are you sleeping here and not in your room? Maomao did run to your room, as I suspect, first, and then here, so what's the reason of changing places?»

«That’s quite easy to answer! I wouldn't actually answer if it was someone else, but since you are at least half-decent for my sister, and she seems to cheerish you, I will. You see, yesterday I had visited the training grounds to check some documents that were not yet delivered, when suddenly someone run into me and we both fell. Fortunately, I only twisted my ankle, so my Granduncle told me to stay in bed for a while, without much movement. So I thought of moving to this room for some time, because I can enjoy the garden from here as well. And because this room let's me move, if I need to, easier, as I don't have to go down or up the stairs.»

«I see… I'm sorry to hear about your injury. But what do you mean by me being only half-decent?» 

He shouldn't have asked this, but this comment wouldn't leave his head if he didn't. He has already known that he's not good enough for Maomao, that she deserves better than him, but hearing it from someone else… He knew that the La's would be really picky with their daughter's husband, she was their precious princess after all, but… Doubt even the prince, who so far did everything he could for her? He was going to somehow made it possible, so the women can become doctors as well, just because Maomao takes a great pride in her medical knowledge and abilities. And that's what he gets? Half-decent?

«Well. You are probably good enough in her opinion, but not in ours, which I am sorry about. She doesn't want much from her man. You know what she said, when she was 15? Probably not, so I will quote it for you, word for word, “I don't want to marry, but if I truly have to and there is no way of escape, then this man should be rich enough to buy me all the medicine I want without any objections. Then he will be a good husband to me.”. Of course, you are perfect for her, as you fit both criterias. You are half-decent for us, only because if she marries you now, then she won't be able to practice what she likes anymore. And you need to improve your relations with our honourable Father, otherwise, you won't be able to marry her.»

This time, Lahan made sure not to use his mocking voice. No matter how much he liked teasing his sister with it, at the moment she was asleep, and it was the prince he was talking to. He already probably insulted him with his statements, but what could he do, except to shrug his shoulders. If he had to give the Moon Prince a rating on a scale from 0 to 10, he would give him even more than maximum in everything else, except for the category of “Being good enough for Lakai”. There he would get only 3 out of 10, as no matter how good and how perfect he was, he would never be enough for the family. He can just accept it and try to impress Maomao instead, or cry and beg the family to let him have her. He would actually love to see him begging in front of everyone for his sister's hand in marriage. Maybe then he would be considered divided enough.

For now, two men just stared in the garden through the open window, not sharing a glare or a word, while they shared worry slept tightly on her brother, no longer shaking nor sobbing.