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Suho is aware he is staring, but he can’t really help it with the way Sieun is looking up at him. His eyes are big and dark like an ocean at night, and Suho wouldn’t mind drowning in them. He already feels like he can’t breathe anyway. It’s a herculean feat to drag his eyes away and to the pencil case he accidentally knocked onto the floor trying not to get hit with a baseball bat. “Ah, did I do that?”
“Why would you fight in the classroom?” God, he is fucked. Sieun turns back in his seat and Suho is left to his devices, invisible again to the cutest boy in the whole universe and smiling like an idiot on top of that.
He doubts Sieun knows his name, or even that he existed before those guys picked a fight with him. Suho on the other hand is very aware of Sieun’s existence.
Whenever he’s not sleeping in class he’s throwing glances at Sieun. He notices a few things about him, like the way Sieun taps his pen against the page whenever he’s thinking over a particularly hard question. Or that his headphones are never turned on when he’s wearing them at school. Sieun is so… interesting is one word. Suho feels slightly feral every time he learns something new about him.
He dimly registers how bad it’s gotten when he follows him home. The second the door falls closed behind Sieun, Suho thunks his head against his bike’s handlebar. He’s being creepy, he knows it, but for some godforsaken reason he can’t stop. He feels bad. He wishes he could just talk to Sieun like a normal person. Maybe say hi to him, maybe ask him for advice studying, crowd him against the classroom door and kiss him senseless the next time he turns on the lights when Suho is sleeping like the inconsiderate jerk that he is.
No, he stops bashing his head against his bike to catch up with his thoughts again, that is not something a normal person does to their classmate out of nowhere.
It doesn’t get better and Suho is back in front of Sieun’s building the next day, trying to hype himself up to go up to the door. It would be a lot easier to protect him from bullies if they were at least friendly. The paper bag crumples in his grip and he breathes consciously, letting the rage wash over and off him. He needed to be cool and suave. It’s complete coincidence he’s knocking on Sieun’s door. Just a delivery guy accidentally going into the wrong building. It happens. Nothing weird there.
The door opens and Suho has to work to not let his breathing go off the rails. It should be illegal to have eyes that big and watery. His throat is so unbelievably dry.
He thinks he’s talking but all he can really focus on is the way expressions flicker through Sieun’s eyes. It’s amazing how expressive he is without moving a single muscle in his face.
He asks for water and then he’s walking past Sieun and sitting down in the entrance without having made any executive decisions. The apartment smells like Sieun and isn’t that a creepy thing to know. Why did he know that!?
Sieun almost throws that chair at him and Suho’s brain broadcasts I love him in bright, flashing neon letters to every corner of his consciousness. The thought is so loud he’s sure it can be heard outside of his mind, that every person in this room can hear him screaming it on the top of his lungs.
Something has to be seriously wrong with him, because even when he watched Sieun beat up Yeongbin and his friends all his thoughts were along that same line of thinking.
It physically pains him to hit Sieun, but he can’t let the situation spiral further out of control. He doesn’t know what made him snap, but Sieun already won this fight and going further would just make things worse for him. Suho can’t let that happen.
He hopes Sieun can forgive him.
At this point Suho is so consumed by his feelings he’s helpless against his body throwing up finger hearts at Sieun and his mouth saying that they surely were married in their past life. Even if he wanted to he can’t stop.
He’s thrilled Sieun still talks to him. Answers him where he’s going. He even says he’s sorry and all Suho can do is scream on the inside at the way he said it, hesitating as if he was unsure Suho would forgive him. It’s way too cute and before he can chicken out he makes sure they have a reason to talk again. Sieun is the type to take stuff like “If you’re sorry then treat me to a meal” seriously even if it’s said as a throwaway line.
The next morning Sieun doesn’t turn on the lights and Suho wants to kiss him some more when he wakes up and realises it.
He still gets woken up by Sieun later in the day and offering to pay for cafeteria food as an apology is such a Sieun move that Suho is rendered moderately speechless and even more endeared.
Sieun asks him after his sleeping habits and Suho pretends he doesn’t know why Sieun wears headphones all the time. He’s talking like such a brat that Suho can’t swallow down the “You know you’re really weird.”
He just about thinks he fucked it up when Sieun shoots back with “You’re one to talk.”
Now Suho is desperately trying to figure out if Sieun would kill him if he kissed him across the table in the middle of the cafeteria. In any case he can’t stop smiling like a fool, his heart doing double the speed it’s normally going.
The new kid taps him awake because of course that loser Yeongbin can’t take his loss and Suho tries to play it casual. The guy says he’ll pay him as if Suho wasn’t already mentally apologizing to his boss for being late and on his way to Sieun.
He doesn’t know how they manage to find him, but one second he’s on his bike with Beomseok and the next he’s sprinting down an alleyway, flying past a girl smoking leaned on the wall, and knees Yeongbin in the face.
It’s a struggle and being clearly outnumbered is not giving Suho much confidence for the outcome, but Sieun is still getting hit and so Suho tunes out his own hurting bruises accumulating on his back, sides and everywhere else. He’s trying to stay level headed, see the attacks as they are coming and somehow – somehow – get to Sieun again because Yeongbin has a fucking bottle in his hand and Sieun is lying on the floor.
Beomseok crashes into the party and Suho is genuinely so surprised he stops.
They walk away with minimal damages and Suho wants to cry and hug and kiss Sieun. He wants to hit Sieun over the head too. He’s so smart but also so dumb at the same time, because why the fuck did he just go with them? This kid has zero self preservation instincts and it’s driving Suho mad. One of these days he’ll have to teach him how to fight or even just run away.
They go to Suho’s part time job, because he’s late and Sieun and Beomseok owe him.
He throws himself into waiting tables, cleaning this and that, hauling drink crates. Anything to stop himself doing something stupid any time Sieun looks up at him through his lashes, eyes unbelievably wide and trusting . Sieun looks like he is trying to figure out why Suho came for him. Suho would like to tell him but he also wants to keep being able to talk with him, and not chase him out of his life before they even had a chance to properly become friends.
They eat and again his body makes decisions before his mind has the chance to catch up. He stuffs the meat and salad into Sieun’s mouth, and he blanks at the feeling of Sieun’s lips under his fingertips. He just about doesn’t rip his hand away like he’s been burned. So far everything could be written off as the actions of an overly touchy friend.
Sieun just looks at him. Suho can’t look away. There are gears turning in his eyes, Suho can tell because he spends an inordinate amount of time staring at them every day. His neck is sweating profusely as he’s waiting for something, anything. Realization. Judgement. Death.
There’s a decision in Sieun’s eyes. And then he does that thing with his tongue, getting the salad remains still hanging past his mouth. Suho’s eyes drop to his lips and it’s so obvious that he is sure Sieun knows now, that his cover is blown to bits, because Sieun is still looking at him .
Suho swallows hard, his throat as dry as a desert. He can’t look away. For gods sake, Beomseok is there, watching them. Sieun is going to think he’s weird if he keeps staring at his lips.
Beomseok leaves first and Sieun drives Suho mad by staying behind and helping until he finishes his shift. They don’t talk about the sudden tension in the air between them. Don’t acknowledge the way a glance turns into staring each other in the eyes for prolonged periods of time more often than doesn’t. Suho shelves the particularly breath stealing down flicker of Sieun’s gaze for a moment when having a breakdown doesn’t impede his work.
He realizes he’s not getting that moment any time soon, when Sieun asks for a ride home after work finishes. It’s on his way he reasons.
Apparently, Sieun has made it his mission to crash them, because he puts his arms around Suho’s waist and squeezes. Instead of just holding on loosely but tight enough to not fall off. And he squeezes every time they stop at a red light. Puts his chin on Suho’s shoulder in a way that the helmet doesn’t bother him. Breathes the directions to his apartment into his ear as if Suho doesn’t know the route by heart already.
They make it somehow. Suho has no recollection of how, but they stand in front of the building, Sieun looking up at him through his lashes. It’s his waiting for something look and Suho wants to do something stupidly impulsive but he just stands there, frozen like an idiot, and pats Sieun on the helmet once before taking it off of him.
“Cute.” Sieun’s eyes get impossibly bigger and shinier but Suho has already chickened out and just puts on the helmet and gets on his bike. He waves. “See you tomorrow.”
A few streets away he want to hit himself over the head for being such a coward and almost wakes the whole neighbourhood in his haste to turn around and get back to Sieun.
He doesn’t know what he expects. Maybe Sieun still standing on the curb, waiting for him to come back. Maybe Sieun running after him and them meeting halfway. Parking the bike and only seeing the empty street his courage takes a hit. He hits himself over the head and takes the stairs up two at a time.
The door mocks his hope but he’s been foolish enough all day so what is one more thing on that list.
He knocks. “Delivery!”
Something heavy clatters to the ground inside but before Suho even has time to think about worrying for Sieun the door is thrown open and his brain screeches to a halt, immediately getting lost in Sieun’s eyes.
“Suho.”
He’s breathless and Suho thinks it’s the most beautiful he has ever sounded.
“Sieun-ah.”
They’re moving at the same time. Suho takes a step forward, towards Sieun. Always towards Sieun.
Sieun’s hands reach out and fist into the collar of his windbreaker, pulling him over the door step, into the apartment.
They’re so close now Suho breathes in every puff of air Sieun breathes out. From this close all he can see is the vast universe in Sieun’s eyes. He’s drowning. Floating. “Don’t leave.” Oh.
Oh.
“Never.” Suho manages through the heart beating in his throat. “Can’t.” He swallows. “Won’t.”
His hands are on Sieun’s cheek and around his waist, it’s so easy to just pull him in. Suho long lost the fight against himself and his feelings, so he doesn’t even attempt this one.
He sees Sieun close his eyes just before his own fall shut and then they’re kissing.
It’s clumsy, both of them clearly overeager and underskilled. Sieun’s hands release their death grip on his jacket and end up in his hair, fingers buried and tugging at the strands. Suho groans into his mouth and presses closer to Sieun, crowding him against the wall. His fingers digging into Sieun’s waist a stark contrast to the gentle hand cradling his face, thumb drawing circles under Sieun’s eye.
They part lifetimes later, and only because they need to breathe. Even though Suho would be utterly happy to die kissing Sieun he’d much rather live and spend the rest of their lives doing it again and again.
Sieun stares up at him through his lashes with perfectly cherry red and kiss-bitten lips, and Suho’s heart misses multiple beats in a row. He let’s his forehead thunk against the wall next to Sieun. This brings his face right into Sieun’s hair and yup, still kind of weird that Suho knows exactly what his shampoo smells like.
He huffs, exasperated. “How are you like this?” He’s so close to Sieun, their chests pressed together as Suho basically crushes him into the wall, that he feels the bodily shiver that travels through Sieun like a shock wave.
He hears him swallow. “Like you’re one to talk.” His voice is quivering and raw, and Suho can’t help but tighten his arms wound around Sieun, quietly giggling at the absurdity of Sieun hitting him with that sentence twice.
He breathes in shampoo and the lingering scent of cooking meat. “I’m in love with you.” He says into Sieun’s shoulder.
The arms resting around his shoulders tighten momentarily, before all the tension leaves Sieun’s body in one fell swoop and he simply melts into Suho like ice cream on a hot day. “Me too.”
