Work Text:
You glanced down at the page in your hands and scanned through the numbers. Same shit, different day. You were so engrossed in what you were doing that you hadn’t noticed the smaller of the skeleton brothers pop up next to you.
“hey.”
You swallowed your scream and dropped the packet. It hit the ground and you stammered out an immediate apology, not aware that it wasn’t a customer.
“Sans!” You choked out, feeling your cheeks flush. “What are you doing here?”
“sorry. didn’t mean to drop in like that.” He grinned and bent down to retrieve your stack. You were grateful when he handed it to you, not wanting to bend down in these tight fucking pants. You knew you should’ve worn the bigger size today.
“You scared the hell out of me. I’m still not used to it, you know. And it’s not fair that I can’t do the same.” You glanced around from the corner of your eye, not wanting to get into trouble for lazing around. “So what’s up? You off work?”
“yeah. thought i would see how my favorite human’s doing.” He winked. “what’re your plans for lunch?”
“I brought something in. Just some leftovers from home. Why?”
“lemme take ya out. i got paid today and i’m feelin’ generous.”
“If you really want to, sure. There are some places to eat in the mall, I only get half an hour, so it’s not like we can go too far.”
“that’s where you’re wrong. i got just the place in mind and the shortcut.” He stared up at you. “so? what time you gonna be ready?”
You drew your phone from your bra and didn’t even think twice about how attentively he was gazing at you. “Hmm, I could go now. I’ll clock out and then we can leave. I mean, if you’re ready.”
“starvin’. i’ll wait for you outside.”
You headed toward the computer to punch out, thankful no one was around to stop you and put more work on your plate. You grabbed your jacket from the breakroom, wondering if you were going to have to be outside long. Probably not. Sans had a way of getting you in places without people batting an eye. Still, it didn’t hurt to be prepared, and it was fucking freezing outside.
You stuffed your nametag inside your pocket and stepped out into the frigid winter air, seeing him leaning against the wall near an ashtray. He looked a bit tense until he sensed you coming up.
“hey there, long time no see.”
“Yeah, a whole thirty seconds. Must be an eternity for you.” You smiled at him. “So? Where to?”
“got this new place i wanna check out. i think you’ll like it.”
He offered a hand out and you took it without thinking. It was always warm. Smooth. Enough to send a jolt up your arm, a sensation you only ever felt once in your life. And he didn’t even have to use the buzzer trick this time.
You never understood the way you traveled. It was so quick that there was never any time to register you were even moving through space and time. There was no real in-between, nothing like a hallway between two doors. It just was. You moved until things shifted around you and came into view. Or sometimes it was just so instantaneous that you could blink and miss it. Whatever the case, it was never a frightening experience, if a bit disorienting because you weren’t expecting it.
You stood in front of a small shop hidden in a back alley. Dumpster divers nearby and graffiti lining the walls. Definitely not a place you would frequent on your own, let alone notice in a big city like this. Sans didn’t seem perturbed, though, and you knew that if he was at ease, you should be, too.
“Uh, you sure this is a restaurant? Looks more like the kind of place we’d see people disappear to and wind up in someone’s meat pies.”
He snickered. “trust me, will ya?”
You squeezed his hand for emphasis. “I do.”
You entered and the sweet aroma caught you off guard. The interior of the place wasn’t exactly a five star restaurant, but you recognized the spooky décor almost immediately. This was the same kind of feel that you got underground, in the damp corridors between Hotland and the Core.
“Ahuhuhu! Morning, dearies! Welcome to the grand opening of my café!” Muffet made her way to you with menus in two of her hands. “I’m glad you could make it, Sans. I do hope you’re going to pay this time and avoid another incident!” She cackled.
“heh. yeah…about that…” He glanced at you. “i mean, you’ve got the bakery in the back, but i guess i could spare some dough.”
You laughed at that one, and he seemed to light up. Muffet wasn’t as amused, though she still humored him.
“Come this way, I have just the seat for you two! Ahuhuhu!”
She gave you a really wonderful view, considering that the windows leading outside were all of brick and mortar. There were a few paintings adorning the space around you, all of them lovingly crafted by ridiculously talented fingers. It was of the Underground, and it gave you a serious sense of nostalgia. On the table was a vase full of colorful sugar flowers, complimentary for the celebration of her opening.
You glanced around the empty bakery and swallowed. “So…if this is the grand opening, where is everyone?”
Right on cue, the doors opened and monsters came pouring in. You shot Sans a suspicious look and he only looked more than amused at your expression.
“I’m guessing we got here just in time, then. You sure are good at that.” You sipped at the cider and he put a hand on his cheek, gazing at you. “So…um…this is really nice, Sans. Thanks for taking me out. This totally beats sitting by myself in the breakroom and eating something I shoved in my lunchbox.”
His smile faltered just a bit. “alone, huh?”
“Well…yeah. It’s kind of hard to make friends when you’re as awkward as I am.” You coughed. “I mean, we’ve known each other for a while, and the Underground was small enough where we crossed paths. But work here is different, everyone’s out for themselves. I feel like they don’t really see me as part of the team. Which is fine, because I know I’m not cut out for something like this seriously, and a lot of the people there are weird in the first place, but…”
You realized you were rambling. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to unload that all on you. Especially since…how are things going for you? You should be the one giving me the rundown.”
“heh, no sweat. work’s fine. keep to myself too, y’know. keep the garage in working order. people don’t tend to care much about the guy under their car when he’s got a face full of grease. the guys can be rough, but i’m really funny, so i’m winning them over easy.”
“I’m glad. I want this to work out. I want you to be happy. And even if this isn’t what you want to do forever, it’s totally a start. And you’re going to rock at it.”
“nice of you to say. you’re too good to me.”
“Says the guy who took me out for the first time in like, ever.” You glanced up when one of the spiders dropped down from the ceiling, startling you. They dropped off your appetizers, which you eyed longingly.
“go for it, you gotta be starving.”
“Ugh, yeah. Ticketing shit for hours really gives me an appetite. I gotta say, for a random outing with you, this place really takes the cake.” You bit into the meal and your eyes lit up, savoring the familiar spark of magic along your tongue. Oh man, you hadn’t even thought about it! You hadn’t had a decent monster meal in forever, and it was still as delicious as before.
You hadn’t noticed Sans was laughing until you swallowed. “W-what? Do I have something on my face?” You reached up to wipe it away.
“heh. no. just you. muffet’s bakery…takes the cake.”
“UGH.” You nearly threw your napkin at him. “I wasn’t even trying that time!”
“that’s what makes it so hilarious.”
“Oh! I was gonna text you earlier, but since we’re here, I can tell you in person.” You thumbed your drink, letting your nails graze the sweating glass. “There’s this museum in town, and this week they’re doing a space exhibit. They’ve got all sorts of stuff that they bring in from around the country, and it’s all sorts of tech and monuments from our space exploration program. I was thinking that we could check it out. It shouldn’t be too crowded in the morning, and I’m off a couple days this week, so…” You trailed off, scrutinizing him for a reaction. “Do you…want to go?”
He looked so down for it. “yeah. sounds like it’ll really be outta this world. just you and me?”
“I mean, that was the plan. I didn’t really think any of the others would be as interested, but if you want, we could totally invite them. I know for a fact that Papyrus is going to be busy with Toriel, so I just thought you’d want to keep your mind off things and keep yourself entertained while he’s away?”
Sans finally took a long drink. “heh. if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you wanted some alone time with me. can’t say i blame ya.”
“Um, yeah. I like hanging out with you. A lot. And it’s been awhile since we did anything by ourselves.” You pushed the remainder of the appetizer toward him. “C’mon, you’ve gotta be hungry. I know staring at me all day isn’t putting anything in your stomach.”
You turned to the side while Muffet came to check up on you personally. When you glanced back over at him, the food was already gone. Damn it! He always managed to do it when you weren’t looking. You shifted your attention back to the spider monster.
“Good to see you finally taking the plunge, dearies. I’m glad I could be the one to host your very first public outing!” She poured you another glass. “Here’s the house special to celebrate! I’ll make sure to put it on your bill.”
She set down a plate of various monster goodies. You were eager to try them all, but baffled at her choice of arrangement. Everything was put together in a vibrant heart. You thought it was weird, but tried not to let Sans know that you were thinking about it too hard. You couldn’t help but glance up and you were sure your face was that of horror, because he was already laughing. No. He was fucking with you. This was a monster place. SOULs meant a lot to them, so maybe it was just a running theme. You didn’t bother confirming that by peering at other people’s plates.
“Gosh, this is really good. I’ve missed monster food a lot.” You dug in. “I mean it, Sans, this was a super good call on your part.”
“what can i say? inspired by the right things, anything’s possible.” He winked and you both went to work. You found it impolite to stare this time around, focusing on your own meal.
“Oh man, I have to tell you about this game I’m replaying. You’re totally gonna love it. So, okay, it’s set in space, and you’re a commander aboard a ship…” You went into great detail explaining the basic plot, stars practically in your eyes when you described how it would be a perfect fit for him. He only worked part time right now, so he had a lot of free time, and you thought you could at least cheer him up with a favorite pastime of yours.
“sounds pretty cool. we should play it sometime.”
“Yeah, dude! I’ve got all of them. The first one is kinda slow though, I usually have to walk people through it. But I mean, it’s mostly because I wanna see your reaction. And who you romance.”
“romance?”
“Oh man, yes!!! In every game there’s two or more characters you can start a relationship with. And honestly, I feel like it really shows what kind of person you are depending on who you choose. And I love trying to predict it. Once you meet all the characters I can tell you who I romanced!”
“you really like dating sims, huh.”
“Um, yeah, I guess.” You blushed. “I know it’s totally lame. I dunno, it’s fun. Lots of people I have a choice to be with. It’s…nice, I guess.” You faltered. “I mean, I’m really not…I don’t…I um…I’m not really attractive by human standards. People aren’t interested in me. So I can play games where everyone is and it’s nice. Because I can control it, you know? I get to decide who and set the pace. I don’t really…I’m not comfortable with stuff that most humans are, like touching…so…it’s good to be at a safe distance where I can be intimate. Even if it’s just coding and programming.”
You realized what you’d said and felt so fucking awkward. “I-I mean. God. That sounds really pathetic, doesn’t it? I think I want to be in a relationship. But I don’t know anybody that would be patient enough.”
His smile looked strained again. “geez, pal. you know i ain’t gonna judge ya. and for what it’s worth, it’s not weird at all. you deserve it all.”
“Um, thanks. I guess I kind of bogged down our lunch, huh?” You laughed weakly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin this with my problems. So….you totally don’t have to romance anybody. In the games. I always just think it’s fun.”
“i’ll give it a shot. my standards are pretty high, though.”
“Really? No way. I’m totally gonna figure out what your type is, Sansy.”
“what about yours? you’ve gotta know.”
“That’s half the fun. We’ll play the game and I’ll guess who you romanced, then you can guess mine.”
“and what if i win?”
“I’ll pay off part of your tab for Grillby’s.”
“nuh uh. i get to choose.”
“Okay, then. What do you want?”
“lemme think about it. on the off chance you do? never gonna happen, but we might as well cover our bases here.”
You hummed in response, finishing the last pieces of what was on your plate. “You buy me dinner. I like the places you take me and I sure as hell can’t afford to eat out as often as I’d like.”
“deal.” He stretched his hand out to you for a shake, and you eyed it warily.
“You better not shock me, Sans.”
“c’mon, pal. ain’t that cruel.”
As soon as you slapped your palm there, the longest, loudest, squealing fart resounded in the café. You nearly threw the pitcher of tea at him while he laughed so hard you could see tears beading up in his eyesockets.
With lunch over and your thirty minutes up, you and Sans headed back to your workplace. You hesitated outside the building, really not looking forward to the end of your shift. Especially when it was nice to have the company of someone you cared about. You didn’t even realize you’d been holding his hand still, not until his phalanges wrapped around you for a gentle squeeze. You blinked away your thoughts and shot him a weak smile.
“thanks for hangin’ out with me. had a good time, a few bad laughs. and i got to see you in your work uniform.”
“Don’t be weird.” You smirked. “It’s just a nice blouse and slacks. Yours is totally cooler. I love catching you in your jumpsuit.”
“i’ll keep that in mind. welp. gotta go get my place ready for our video game night. and i’ve got another interview comin’ up. shouldn’t be too hard to ace, but y’never know.”
“You’re gonna do great, Sans. I know you will. Thanks again for lunch, it was really awesome. I’m glad Muffet finally got her café, and I can’t wait to go again. Er, maybe when the two of us are just a little bit richer, though.” You still couldn’t believe that her surprise for the grand opening was that all of her dishes were going to be twice as expensive. Gosh.
“no sweat, bud. let’s make it a date.” He seemed to be taking on that mischievous tone again. Ugh. He was the worst at teasing you. “see ya.”
“Bye.” You watched him walk away from the doors and waited until he was out of sight to heave a sigh.
Fuck. You should’ve done something, anything. Tried to go in for a hug? A kiss? It seemed like such a longshot, and it definitely would’ve creeped him out. He was just being nice. As usual.
Don’t read into it, you told yourself, pushing your way back inside. He was a monster. He had plenty of choices Underground. You’d known him for years and he’d never expressed a sliver of interest.
It wasn’t right to expect anything from him, not when it was clear he had so many other things on his mind.