Chapter Text
The bright sun rose, shedding a warm blanket of light on the hills and fields of the suburbs, but it didnt feel the same. Once, I would’ve been able to sin in the light, enamored by the beautiful colors painted across the clouds. Now all I see is the gold. “The Gold can’t stay,” I whispered to myself, “nothing gold can stay.”
A few weeks ago I had been sitting on this hill with someone else. Someone that was gone now, I remembered. I had to force myself to push the sharp, painful feelings back down. Right now I have to stay cool. Stay tuff on the outside, so I can cry on the inside.
“Hey Pony, you almost ready?” Soda’s voice made me jump. I turned to see him standing behind me and I almost didn’t recognise him. He was dressed in a nice black tux, and a white button up shirt. It was odd to see him dressed in something other than his jeans and work uniform, but the event was strictly black tie.
“Yeah,” I responded, sounding more sad than I'd meant to. Soda’s deep brown eyes studied me, and I knew I couldn’t hide from him the way that I could hide from Darry. Soda understood me. Lately, however, I wasn’t even sure if I could understand myself. I felt heavy with emotions that I couldn't quite understand, drowning in the intense pain of losing friends. I had known Dally and Johnny for almost my entire life, and I had just watched them die. I thought back to the night in the park. The day that started it all . If I hadn’t run that night, maybe they would still be here.
I could feel that I was losing myself to my thoughts, and Soda must've seen it on my face. He reached out to hold my shoulder.
“Hey,” he said gently, “you don't have to do this,”
“I know,” I said quietly, “I want to.” I was trying to convince myself, then I thought about Dally and Johnny. “They would've wanted me to.” Soda gave me one more look and then he sighed and dropped his hand back down to his side.
“Ok then, come on now, they could use some help setting up.
*.✧⋆✿ꔫ✩ꔫ✿⋆✧.*
I stepped into the light tent covering the hill where a church once stood. I stayed there for a while taking in the scenery. Sure it wasn't much, a small white sailcloth tent that Cherry’s parents used to rent out for weddings and other events. Flowers dotted across the floor, soon to be lined up on the tables that were to cover the room. At the end of the tent was a humble podium with two simple caskets on either side of it.
Soda waved me over from across the room where he was working on setting up some of the folding tables with Two-Bit and Steve. The work was solemn and slow, as they struggled with their raw emotions. They all tried to make jokes, and to laugh, but it had been awhile since they had really laughed at anything but the cruelty of the world. Even that was not real laughter, a thin veil hiding the rage and insanity that they felt. Nothing but a coping mechanism.
Two-Bit and Steve looked uncomfortable in their formal wear, still adjusting to their limited mobility. They glanced occasionally at their elbows or shoulders when they reached for something just outside of their mobility range, but held back their curses and exclamations. I was sure though that if they had the choice, they would be wearing the exact same thing. It was for them.
Then I saw Darry. Darry looked like he might just have been born for that suit. He adjusted his wrist cuffs professionally and grabbed the next table from the haphazard stack. The black cloth made him look expensive and his blue eyes almost seemed haunting, matching his melancholy expression. He worked silently with the rest of the group, ignoring their attempts at humor. He had known Johnny and Dally for longer than any of us, I realized.
I stood there for a while longer, observing their out of character work and the near silence of the group as they set up the last of the tables. I saw the flowers laying on the ground, almost crushed by their thoughtless work. I sighed, walking over to the flowers, carefully placing them on each of the tables.