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Bodhi sighed, taking his frustration out on the punching bag in front of him, pummelling the canvas like it had personally insulted him. It hadn’t, of course, but Bodhi knew he wouldn’t get away with pummelling Catriona in the face, so he’d resorted to the punching bag that Xaden kept in his makeshift office. Did he want to be someplace that reminded him of his cousin? Not particularly. Not when his cousin was the whole reason Catriona had been a bitch. But he didn’t truly have any other option. There were squads training in the sparring gym, and Bodhi really didn’t want to have to face anyone right now.
“Hey, Bodhs,” came the cheery voice of Garrick, distracting Bodhi just enough that he almost missed the punching bag swinging back towards his face.
“Give a guy some warning,” Bodhi complained, stopping the punching bag with a gentle palm, unlike the fists he’d just been swinging at it a moment earlier. Garrick chuckled,
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Bodhi scowled, and Garrick seemed to realize he truly wasn’t in the mood for dumb jokes. “Wait, man—I’m sorry. Something happen?”
Bodhi huffed, unsure if he wanted to voice the reason for his mood out loud. What if Garrick laughed and told him to get over it? He’d mean well, but last time he’d done that, it had just further enabled Bodhi’s self-destructive thoughts. But Garrick seemed to truly want to know, so Bodhi sighed.
“Just something Cat said.”
“What did she say?” Garrick frowned. “I can sic Violet on her if need be. I’ll use my ever-so-convincing puppy dog eyes on her and I’m sure she'll do it.”
“It’s fine,” Bodhi laughed, but the noise came out strangled, and Garrick moved even closer, holding his arms out tentatively to offer an embrace. But Bodhi knew that Xaden would never accept such an obvious display of affection, even from his best friend, and despite the fact that Bodhi hated when people compared the two of them, Catriona’s stupid remark had gotten to him. He knew she was going through shit, mainly having to move across the continent, but that didn’t give her the right to be an asshole!
“Is this a party I wasn’t invited to?” came the bemused voice of Xaden himself from the doorway. Bodhi whirled in the direction of the door, Garrick’s head following the noise, too.
“I was just using the punching bag,” Bodhi offered up weakly. That was all he’d planned to say, but—
“Cat said something to him and he won’t tell me what,” Garrick informed Xaden before Bodhi could stop him.
“Garrick!” Bodhi hissed, “What the hell, man?” Garrick just shrugged, looking pleased with himself. Bodhi wanted to wipe that smirk right off his face and onto the floor, but Xaden was clearing his throat demandingly.
“Bodhi, what did she say? Is it something I can kill her for?”
“No, Xaden, no murder,” Bodhi grimaced. “That isn’t funny.”
“Wasn’t joking,” Xaden shrugged. “Now, what did she say?” Bodhi shifted under his gaze for a few moments before sighing.
“She asked me…asked me what it was like to be your little shadow. Never enough on my own, but never enough to surpass you, either.” Bodhi cringed at the words, even though he was simply repeating them. Damn Cat for picking up on his deepest insecurities so easily.
“Sounds execution-worthy to me,” Xaden grinned.
“Xaden, stop!” Bodhi snapped. “I’m not in the fucking mood! Enough people die all the time around here without you and your bloodthirsty libido.” His cousin looked shocked for a millisecond before slipping the calm, cool, collected mask back on.
“Sorry, dude. I’ll stop.”
“Thanks,” Bodhi muttered. “I just…need some time, okay? Don’t expect to see me at dinner tonight.” He pushed past Xaden and Garrick, heading toward his rooms first but pivoting at the last minute toward the courtyard that led to the flight field.
Cuir? he sent over the bond with his dragon.
Already waiting, soft one. Usually his dragon’s pet name for him didn't bother Bodhi. In fact, it had always been a reminder to himself that he could still be a good person, despite the things he'd done for this rebellion, as long as he stayed soft inside. But right then, it felt like a taunt. Bodhi didn't say anything, though. Cuir was a dragon. She wouldn’t listen to him even if he had the most concise argument possible as to why she shouldn’t call him that. She chose her name for him, and it was stuck now.
Cuir’s soothing, velvety, chocolate voice always reminded Bodhi of his mom’s, or at least, what he could remember of it. His mom’s was more cinnamon instead of chocolate, but the timbre was the same, and she was soft with him, too. Cuir didn't seem to mind the comparisons when Bodhi made them—I’m proud to be worthy of such thoughts—so he continued to let the comparisons grow. Cuir knew what it was like to lose a parent young, though for her it was several centuries ago. She became something like a surrogate mother to Bodhi.
When he reached the flight field, Bodhi raced to her side, not even making it onto her back before collapsing into her side, burying his face in her warm, smooth scales. She didn't comment, simply wrapping her tail around them and settling onto the ground so she could hold him tightly against her body while he cried. Because despite the fact that he always swore he wouldn't, he did. Every. Fucking. Time. Maybe because Bodhi didn't let himself cry around anyone else, so when he's around Cuir to decompress it all comes out, but either way, she got to see him in all his heartbroken glory.
I don’t mind, soft one. Even if it saddens me that the world is cruel to you. Bodhi sniffed out a thanks before nuzzling back into her side. Cuir truly was his best friend, in a way that he wasn't sure even his cousin had with Sgaeyl. Sure, they were powerful and all that shit, but Bodhi had gained a mother. Sgaeyl reports that she does not plan to take on the role of mother with anyone, whether rider or dragon. Cuir interjected. Bodhi chuckled a tiny bit that she even asked, to which she snorted indignantly, as if the thought was hers to begin with.
“I know it’s not a competition, Cuir, but…it’s kind of nice to know that this is one thing I have that’s special,” Bodhi finally whispered. Cuir ruffled Bodhi’s hair with her snout before replying,
And that’s okay, soft one. You are allowed to cherish this unique bond. I certainly do. Bodhi pressed a kiss to the scale closest to his face to show his gratitude for her reassurance. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Bodhi started to feel better. Things weren’t okay, necessarily, but they were better. Before he could get up, Cuir gave him one more piece of advice. I know this feels intimidating, but maybe you should talk to your cousin about how you’re feeling. After all, he might feel some of the same ways as you. And you can combat this issue together.
“I hate it when you’re right,” Bodhi sighed, but the cajoling tone of his voice showed his true feelings about her statement. “Alright, I’ll bring it up next time I see him.” Cuir chuffed as if to show her approval before nosing the young man’s unruly hair one last time. “And yes, I will get a haircut soon,” Bodhi added with a laugh. Cuir nodded in acknowledgement before beginning to back up, the sign that she was going to take off. Bodhi grinned as he watched her launch into the sky, watching her go with a spark of pride in his chest.
With a new kind of hope in his heart, Bodhi headed back into Riorson House.