Chapter Text
SIDE A — Instruments and Roles:
+ Satoru (28)
- Leader and main guitarist.
- Signature Outfit: Burned, torn, bloodied, and blackened navy blue jumpsuit + similarly damaged white lab coat + black tactical boots + blindfold/polarized shades—all designed to evoke a zombie apocalypse.
- Most popular member with by far the craziest fans and it’s not even close.
- Disproportionately large, obsessive, dedicated, and militant solo fanbases in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Argentina, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand.
- Honorary white boy.
- Wants to add lyrical miracle rap verses to 90% of their songs, which he intends to rap himself, but is thankfully thwarted (most of the time) by Suguru and Naoya threatening to castrate him for it without fail each time.
- “““Astrophysicist and Rock Legend”””
- Rich bitch ultra-gifted kid.
- Fluent (enough) in 12+ languages.
- Published & pedigreed at way too young.
- Pure Math undergrad, Computer Science masters.
- Actual PhD in Astrophysics.
- Built his own custom Linux distro once because he was annoyed at all the proprietary tooling his university made him use. (People still use it nowadays and it’s kinda become the standard.)
- Saw his super duper prestigious research+teaching position as a “dead end job.”
- String Theory HATER, casually threatens the lives and livelihoods of any string theorists he comes across—and they KNOW he could destroy them because he HAS the clout.
- Frustrated dream of starting a rock band back when he was an undergrad. (He was too young and people didn’t like him for his neurodivergent swag and also being a fucking asshole.)
- Quit his job and decided to start the band after all after an enlightening chat with his favorite stripper in Shinjuku.
+ Suguru (28)
- Vocalist/frontman/main lyricist.
- Signature Outfit: Kukai cosplay based on his favorite prints and statues, different every time and heavily accessorized to be as offensive as possible.
- Sometimes second guitarist (when he feels like it).
- True-blooded Japanese underground roots.
- ALLEGEDLY grew up in a Buddhist monastery, but got kicked out after he (ALSO ALLEGEDLY) tried to poison a corrupt monk. For legal reasons, this is a joke.
- TONS of connections in the music world.
- Considered basically a saint by anyone in Japanese showbiz.
- So many weird former jobs and accumulated IOUs (which he takes full advantage of calling in for the sake of EV).
- Satoru’s friend and shameless boycrush from uni; Suguru’s underground Japanoise band at the time was one of his biggest inspirations.
- By the time Satoru approached him to start EV, Suguru was working as a procurer for rental music equipment and temporary talent at a subsidiary of a subsidiary of an idol agency.
- If Satoru never approached him to start EV, Suguru would’ve probably escalated to corporate espionage, arson, and eventually eco-terrorism within the next 2-5 years (true).
- Nowadays, he’s shifted his attention to trying to get Satoru and Naoya disinherited or disowned by gleefully feeding the gay rumor mill and being the absolute worst tease to EV’s fans + the media.
+ Naoya (28)
- Drummer.
- Signature Outfit: Eye-catching combos of Taisho era chic + uniforms from various martial arts; androgynous; high society x military.
- Jazz background.
- While Satoru CLAIMS he’s the main composer for most of EV’s discography, anyone who has actually met them before knows that no song ever passes through even the toilet paper scribble stage without Naoya’s express permission + approval.
- Also directs and often personally films all of EV’s music videos. (Satoru edits.)
- Classically trained pianist (brutally trained since he was 2 years old).
- Highly proficient in music theory.
- Wagner & Tchaikovsky stan + apologist forever.
- Pseudo-perfect pitch.
- Considered a “failed prodigy” due to his interest in the more “unrefined” musical pursuits like composition, jazz, and drums.
- By this point, he’s long given up on playing the piano seriously.
- If pretty much anyone except Satoru asks him to touch any instrument even vaguely shaped like a piano, he’d probably kill them. (And any Japanese person knows you CANNOT outlast Zen’in lawyers at court.)
- Cinephile. (HUGE snob: calls himself eclectic, thinks digital + streaming was a mistake and nothing can compare to “the real thing”)
- Favorite directors: Andrei Tarkovsky, Quentin Tarantino, Sofia Coppola, Park Chan Wook, Akira Kurosawa, Hayao Miyazaki, Satoshi Kon
- Favorite actors: Daniel Craig, Tony Leung, Anna Kendrick, LaKeith Stanfield, Aamir Khan
- Satoru’s childhood friend; both come from super old rich families who trace their ancestry back to the Heian era.
- The story of Naoya and Satoru’s first meeting changes every time someone asks: “We were both forced to sit through the same Mozart concerts as fetuses and developed telepathy as a result.” / “He ruined my 2nd birthday party.” / “We saw our parents cheating with each other at a New Year’s Party in Sapporo.” / “We’ve been nemeses since the first day of kindergarten.”
+ Kento (27)
- Bassist.
- Signature Outfit: 1950s-1980s corpo goth suits, sometimes (rarely) letting his band mates add a splash of corpo fashion from the 1990s-2010s such as a tie or cuff links.
- Former salary man (Marketing Department middle manager at a greeting card company) with zero musical background.
- Prog Rock enjoyer since the womb (i.e. raised by grandma who’s also a lifelong prog rock enjoyer).
- His favorite acts are The Moody Blues and The Alan Parsons Project.
- Carlos Santana stan.
- Love/hate relationship with the Pink Floyd fandom (in the privacy of his own mind).
- Suguru saw him longingly staring at a display on his rental shop once and decided to recruit him by tricking him into stealing that exact bass guitar he wanted (Fender Mustang).
- It worked spectacularly: Satoru absolutely adores him while Naoya genuinely respects him (but would never admit it for obvious reasons).
- Ever since joining EV, his main hobby nowadays is reading seinen manga (sci-fi and fantasy).
- No tolerance for his band mates’ bickering: he will leave the room and just be at peace until the assholes have figured their bullshit out.
- At least once a day says he’ll quit EV soon and become a fisherman in Alaska. The other three have no idea if he’s serious or not.
- Loved and treasured for his principled nature and also of course as the youngest member of the band.
- Satoru, Suguru, and Naoya ultimately have a not-so-secret project to find true love for Kento—but they’re really, really bad at it.
- Has absolutely no intention of ever letting his band mates know that all their efforts to find him the perfect girl are in vain because he’s gay and asexual.
SIDE B — Main Discography:
+ Conceptual EP (inspired by classic rock operas) that got them signed: Blast Off [2014]
- 0 Anti-Arthuriana
- 1 Tokugawa Shotgun Bride
- 2 Show Me the Moneyed
- 3 Trans-Siberian Slot Machines
- 4 One-Winged Heian Angel
- 5 Lady Heresy
Shoko apparently pushed pretty hard to get them signed, but she later denies this and says she was just pestered by Satoru and Suguru as a favor to their friendship during their university days. Utahime was absolutely opposed, determined to block the contract signing by using her immense clout at Prism, and only came around upon having a casual conversation with Kento over beer and meat (the dinner of course being arranged in Machiavellian manner by Suguru). Mei Mei, upon hearing the album, threatened to quit her position as CFO until she was appointed as their manager.
+ Debut Album under Prism Entertainment, Inc.: Limitless (later dubbed “The Black Album”) [2015]
- 0 Freeze!
- 1 Nonstandard (lead single)
- 2 Uzumaki
- 3 Divine
- 4 Approach Infinity
- 5 Dislocation
- 6 Engine of a Film
- 7 In My Domain
- 8 Critical Hit
- 9 Touchless
Sales and profits from the subsequent tour apparently allowed Mei Mei to hold lavish wedding ceremonies for herself, Shoko, and Utahime in the USA (spring), UK (summer), France (fall), and Germany (winter). It also allowed Utahime to execute a major purge of a lot of corporate oldheads at Prism, which she had reportedly been planning for years.
+ Sophomore Album under Prism Entertainment, Inc.: Limitless (“The Blue Album”) [2016]
- 0 Honored
- 1 24 frames-per-second
- 2 Fatal Attraction
- 3 Blinded
- 4 Extras
- 5 Taste of a Heart
- 6 Infinite Void
- 7 Animate
- 8 Reverse Punishment
- 9 Lapse (lead single; one of their most iconic songs, especially Satoru’s lines right before the legendary guitar solo: “I’m tired of control / Time for a lapse”)
Sales and profits from the subsequent tour almost ruined Prism Japan as their South Korean parent company tried to tighten the noose in exchange for a bigger cut and more oversight + control over the music of EV. However, Satoru and Mei Mei pulled through thanks to some well-timed American and British business deals they had prepared in order to bypass Prism Korea.
+ Third Album under Prism Entertainment, Inc.: Limitless (“The Red Album”) [2017]
- 0 Maximum
- 1 In a Flash
- 2 Reversal
- 3 Hidden
- 4 Premature Death (lead single)
- 5 [C/S]ell
- 6 Love Lock
- 7 Subsonic
- 8 Bypass
- 9 Immortality
Not as commercially successful as the first two albums, but it didn’t need to be, if we’re being honest. The time and energy demand of touring at this point was a much bigger consideration than new output. Shoko and Utahime, before the release, were already quite sternly insisting that EV needed to slow down or else they would burn out—and spectacularly at that. However, it fell on deaf ears, as Mei Mei recklessly enabled the band to pursue further profit and fame. The one undeniably good thing that came out of this album, though, was widespread critical acclaim in the USA.
+ Fourth Album under Prism Entertainment, Inc.: Limitless (“The Purple Album”) [2018]
- 0 Hollowed Out (lead single)
- 1 God’s Favorite Child
- 2 Plasma Decay
- 3 Gotta Kill Ya
- 4 Piety Game
- 5 Moon Palace
- 6 Idle Tempt
- 7 Life with a View
- 8 Perfect Paralysis
- 9 ...But the World Is So Good to Me
Divisive. The Japanese public and core fanbase don’t like it, but the English-speaking audience (mainly from North America) adores it. A commercial failure in Japan, but overall successful in the West. A lot of fans complain that there are too many English lyrics and that EV has supposedly forgotten its roots.
SIDE C — Notable Side Projects:
+ Original Soundtrack for the fall 2016 romcom anime “Can a Tokyo Vampire Heartthrob Make a Kyoto Lady’s Cold Heart Race? - 2nd Season” which is an adaptation of a hit light novel of the same name, published in 2006-2012.
- Suguru was the mastermind, who worked out the logistics and paperwork and other things of that nature, but it was pretty much a duo project by Satoru and Naoya only.
- Legend has it that Suguru simply locked his two band mates in a resort in Okinawa from which they were absolutely forbidden to leave and, 28 days later, the soundtrack was made.
- Meanwhile, Suguru very publicly and blissfully took Kento on vacation to the Philippines.
+ Composition, instrumentation, production, engineering, and mixing for the 2017 grunge album “Dark Knight Dances” which is the first solo project of the frontman for critically-acclaimed British experimental 5-piece Rocket Science Elective, Gwaine.
- Apparently, Satoru is really good friends with the band’s guitarist and all but kidnapped Suguru one night, flew the two of them to London on a private jet he himself piloted, and rocked up to Gwaine’s private residence with a promise to “Do [his] voice justice, unlike that aristocrat” [likely referring to the band’s leader, Arthur].
- The album was recorded in two weeks.
- Suguru is very critical of his own work on the album, but Naoya has been quoted telling the Japanese press that any critic who doesn’t have it on their best of the 2010s decade-end lists would be “an obvious fraud.”
- Satoru’s thoughts on the matter? No comment.
- Mei Mei reportedly got $20 million richer during this whole debacle. This is not financial advice.
+ Everything but the vocals on the chart-topping 2018 singles “Enigmatic” and “Luna-lunatic” as sung by Itadori Yuuji, which would subsequently propel the idol to worldwide fame.
- Specifically: East, South, and Southeast Asia had these songs in heavy rotation since the release day as certified club bangers.
- Close collaboration between all members of EV, but Suguru gleefully told South Korean tabloids that he, Satoru, and Naoya “hardly did anything” and that most of the effort on the band’s part was “our dear Kento taking initiative for once.”
- These two songs were considered to be borderline revolutionary in Japan due to being a high-budget and very hyped collaboration between Prism Entertainment, Inc’s biggest act of this decade (and it’s not even close) and the crown jewel of its bitter rival Kamo conglomerate’s Pierce label.
- Nobara was quoted in a radio interview in reaction to the two songs, “There’s no way that this is ever gonna end well.”
- Megumi was quoted in a guest appearance on a hit Japanese modern literature podcast, “He knows what he’s doing, but still… as an old friend, I can’t help but worry, y’know?”
+ Instrumentation, engineering, and mixing for the cancelled (but would have been scheduled for release in spring 2019) Vocaloid hip hop and synthpop fusion album “Ex Minima” by Mirabella Haruno-P, pseudonymous producer and composer once affiliated with several independent Touhou music circles in the south.
- Satoru was apparently devastated that the project didn’t end up working out.
- Suguru knew the thing was doomed from the beginning, but also knew Satoru was already too attached and wanted to see it through to completion, so he remained involved.
- Naoya wanted nothing to do with any of this, with rumors saying he had a deep personal dislike of the mysterious Mirabella Haruno-P due to being familiar with her through the classical music world, and was only further embittered because of how emotionally attached Satoru got (and subsequently, nearly beyond consoling after everything fell through).
- Kento kept his distance (wisely) the entire time.
SIDE D — Relationships, Controversies, and Scandals
Suguru is very well aware that Satoru has been holding onto some sort of feelings for him since their university days, but he wanted absolutely nothing to do with all his bullshit and the associated baggage of Satoru’s life, job, and family for the longest time. However, when Satoru approached him after having quit his job, uncaring of any scandals or backlash—Suguru was moved. Still, he was reticent to start anything with Satoru because 1) they had huge plans for EV and 2) Satoru is a motherfucking fiend and yeah, maybe an 18-21 years old Suguru would’ve been able to keep up with that, but a Suguru in his mid/late 20s most definitely can’t.
And then… Satoru introduced Suguru to Naoya. Suddenly, there was this person who not only read Satoru like a children’s book but was also able to tame Satoru’s stubbornness with nothing but a death glare or crossed arms. Naoya never bent to Satoru’s whims, whether it be about music or romance or sex or even brushing his teeth, but also clearly cared quite a lot (though he actively hid and denied it). Naoya’s animosity towards high society and seemingly effortless navigation of the music and business worlds also stood out to Suguru (working class and indie all his life).
Thus, Suguru pivoted: no longer intimidated by Satoru’s desire or his and Naoya’s generational wealth, Suguru appointed himself as their guy in showbiz. His intelligence, eloquence, and unparalleled sixth sense in reading people finally had the proper stage on which to shine. Suguru embraced public relations, marketing, advertising, and business deals like he was born for it: playing ball with anyone from the most conservative old investors to the most salacious tabloid journalists, pulling the triggers Satoru and Naoya can’t in front of their respective families, and seducing anyone he thought useful to EV with his looks and voice alone.
With Suguru taking charge and using EV’s music and work in general as a vehicle, Satoru and Naoya gradually come to see one another in a new way, too, and it just kind of snowballs from there. Still, the three have some extremely high highs and extremely low lows—as all high-intensity people do, especially when put together.
Meanwhile, Kento knows what’s going on, has known from the beginning, and categorically wants nothing to do with any of this. The other three are determined to get him laid, though, and eventually Suguru (cruel genius that he is) is able to latch onto Kento’s pure-hearted admiration for Yuuji.
At first, Kento was perfectly content simply admiring the nation’s sweetheart from afar… but then Satoru goes and starts crushing on him. Suguru jokingly enables it because he’s evil like that, but he quickly regrets it and becomes subject to Naoya’s endless ‘I told you so’s when Satoru gets the bright idea to treat his new crush like a full-on conquest: having a scandalous and mortally dangerous fling with Japanese showbiz’ current darling right under the Demon King’s nose.
This whole affair basically forces Kento into a state of disillusionment about Yuuji. He had been completely taken in by Yuuji’s idol persona, and was utterly unprepared to find out just how freaky he is behind closed doors. During the in-between moments, Kento surreptitiously starts to befriend Yuuji and comes away from it thinking that Yuuji is a total sweetheart, and that Satoru and Sukuna are both wrong about him. Whereas, Yuuji thinks Kento is very sweet and openly adores him, but he also does not appreciate being babied and treated like a charity case.
Eventually, Yuuji opens up somewhat about his super fucked up family and underworld connections—which Suguru helps Kento put into context. After formally ending things with Satoru, Yuuji also issues an ultimatum/request to all four members of EV: his #1 life’s wish is to see his older brother Sukuna retired and married as a civilian, and if they can make that happen, Yuuji can finally be at peace, too, and step away from the criminal underworld.
Kento—who, at this point, is pretty much ride-or-die for Yuuji as a friend and has developed rather serious feelings for him—declares in no uncertain terms that if his band mates don’t help with this matter, he’s walking away (for real this time). Suguru, Satoru, and Naoya have no choice but to agree.
So then, the question remains: just how in the fuck can they ever turn the Demon King into somebody’s husband?
Well! Turns out, Yuuji has the perfect(?) candidate to replace himself as the (bad) apple of Sukuna’s eye: one of his two high school best friends slash fellow trainees from his old agency—Megumi. According to Yuuji, the two briefly connected when Yuuji and Megumi were third years in high school. Their agency sent them to Chicago for a summer to improve their dancing and rapping, and it just so happened that Sukuna was at the peak of his criminal career over there at that time—managing the Kamo group’s real estate holdings in America and moonlighting as a bartender and gun runner.
However, it’s been six years since then, and nowadays the two refuse to even mention each other’s names. Megumi has sworn off any and all relationships with men and has singularly dedicated himself to his career, with Nobara being super fucking protective of him as a matter of lesbian pride. Whereas, Sukuna is still beating back countless bribes and threats and assassination attempts for abdicating his spot as heir to the entire Kamo group, being considered as a traitor and/or disappointment by many.
So… now what?
To Suguru’s surprise, Satoru bumps Naoya’s shoulder at that point in their impromptu band meeting slash negotiation and asks him, “Fushiguro Megumi, huh… Hey, isn’t he your nephew? Er… once removed?” And, when everyone else’s eyes turn expectantly toward him, their drummer who had been silent for the entire exchange closes his eyes in nothing short of pure agony and inhales a deeply pained breath.
Suguru and Yuuji look at each other.