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In all honesty, Phu has spent a lot of time – maybe too much time – fantasizing about kissing Cir.
He’s had a crush on Cir since he was in 10th grade, and now he’s a university sophomore. That’s a long time to be crushing on someone, and that means that he’s had a long time to think about what it would be like if he ever got to kiss Cir.
Well, now they’re dating, so now he knows. Intimately.
And it’s a lot better than he ever imagined.
Cir is a great kisser. Not that Phu has a lot of experience to compare him to, but even without experience, he can tell that Cir is amazing. His lips are soft and nimble, and he knows just how to move them, how to tilt his head or how to tilt Phu’s head, and how much pressure to use. He knows when to lick along Phu’s lips and when to slip in a little tongue, which he knows how to use in ways that make Phu feel like he’s in heaven.
Phu hopes he makes Cir feel just as good. But to be honest, Phu doesn’t really think much as soon as Cir pulls him in close and presses their lips together. Thoughts tend to just fly out of his head at that point.
Sitting here now, on Cir’s couch, halfway in Cir’s lap, slowly making out, with one of Cir’s hands stroking up and down his back under his shirt, most thoughts have left Phu’s brain. Instead, he’s just enjoying the moment and how good everything feels. He presses a little closer, taking the initiative to deepen the kiss a little.
And then Phu’s glasses knock into Cir’s face, effectively breaking the moment. Cir jerks backwards a little, startled, and Phu’s hands fly up to hold Cir’s face.
“I’m so sorry!” he says hurriedly. “I didn’t mean to!”
“It’s fine,” Cir says. “We’ll just take them off.”
He reaches up to do just that. Carefully, he pulls Phu’s glasses off and put them down on the coffee table next to them. Thankfully, they’re close enough that Phu can still see Cir just as clearly, but if he were to look around, he wouldn’t be able to see very much.
Cir strokes the bridge of Phu’s nose. “You know, you look pretty fucking good without them. Have you ever considered getting contact lenses?”
“Do you not like them?” Phu asks, feeling old anxiety creeping up his spine. It’s something he feels less often than he used to, but it’s a feeling that still lingers. Even if he and Cir have been together for a while now, his confidence hasn’t magically skyrocketed. He’s still not sure what Cir likes about him, so he’s still sometimes nervous about doing something Cir won’t like and losing him.
Cir laughs a little. “Don’t worry, I like them. You’re cute with your glasses on.” Some of the tension leaves Phu’s shoulders again. “But they get in the way, and you do look really fucking good without them, too.”
Phu has never considered contact lenses before. He’s always been fine with his glasses, and he generally thinks they seem easier. But it is true that the glasses get in the way sometimes. This isn’t the first time they’ve accidentally hit Cir in the face when they’ve been making out. And if Cir thinks he looks better without them, maybe Phu really should consider contact lenses.
“Do you… do you think I’d look better with contact lenses?” he asks.
Cir sighs in that way he does when he thinks Phu is being silly: kind of exasperated, but fond.
“I think you look good with and without your glasses. And I also think you should make the decision yourself,” he says. Then he pulls Phu a little closer and traces a finger over Phu’s eyes. “But I also think it’s a lot easier to do this kind of stuff if you’re not wearing them, and it might be nice if you could still see when we’re fucking.”
Phu can’t help but blush furiously at Cir’ words. He’s still getting used to Cir’s language, sure, but more than that, he’s still getting used to Cir talking about the active sex life he has with Phu.
Cir seems to find his blushing cute, if his smile is anything to go by.
“But do you have a preference?” Phu asks, in an attempt to distract Cir from his tomato of a face.
“Hmmm,” Cir hums thoughtfully. “I think you’re cute with your glasses, and hot without them. So… I guess it’s up to you and what you want to be.”
Ideally, Phu would like to be both. He’s not sure that’s possible, especially not for him, but he wants it to be.
And he doesn’t know what the right answer is here. He’s not sure he really cares himself all that much whether he gets contact lenses or stick with his glasses. But he wants to look good for Cir. He wants to do the right thing in his relationship. Now that he actually has Cir, he doesn’t ever want to lose him. Maybe getting contacts is a way to make sure he doesn’t?
Cir pulls Phu back out of his head by poking him in the cheek.
“Don’t think too hard, baby,” Cir coos. “Consider it if you want, forget it if you don’t.”
“Right,” Phu mumbles. He’ll definitely be considering this.
“But not right now,” Cir says, as if he can read Phu’s mind. “For now, I don’t want you thinking about anything but me.”
That sounds like a very good plan. Phu can definitely get on board with that.
Cir gets a firm grip on the back of Phu’s head and pulls him back in for more kisses. Once his tongue is back in Phu’s mouth, where it was before the glasses got in the way, the world melts away again and Phu pretty much forgets everything they were talking about.
At least for the moment.
The idea of getting contact lenses doesn’t go away forever. Even just later that same day, Phu thinks about it. For several days, he takes a few moments here and there to look at himself in a mirror and wonder if he should take Cir’s advice and get contacts.
His friends are mostly unhelpful. Jin says he should do whatever he wants himself, Tee and Nalin flipflop back and forth over whether he looks cuter with or without glasses, and Achi says he looks better but because he hates agreeing with Cir, he tells Phu to keep his glasses and never get contacts. Nalin hits him over the head for that, and Phu almost wants to as well, because it’s the most useless advice he could get.
In the end, it’s a rainy day that makes the decision for him.
He’s hasn’t thought much about how inconvenient glasses can be in the rain since he got them, but now that Cir has him thinking about contact lenses, he’s very aware of the inconvenience.
So, as Cir helps him dry his hair, Phu makes his decision. And he also decides not to tell Cir just yet.
He wants it to be a surprise. Cir will be excited about it. Or at least, that’s what Phu hopes. He’d seemed pretty enthusiastic about Phu not wearing his glasses when he brought up contact lenses, and he keeps calling Phu hot when he takes them off so they can kiss. Phu switching to contacts must be a good surprise.
“Oi,” Cir mumbles, “what are you thinking about?”
Phu blinks. “Did I zone out? Did you say something? Sorry, Phi.”
“It’s fine,” Cir says, gruff but reassuring. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Okay,” Phu breathes out a sigh of relief. He’s still new to dating, and new to figuring out all of Cir’s nuances (no matter what Wim says about Phu knowing and understanding Cir better than anyone else), but he’s pretty sure not paying attention isn’t a good thing. The last thing he wants is to ignore Cir, even if it’s unintentional.
“What do you wanna do for dinner?” Cir asks, and from there, the rest of the evening and night flows the way it usually does.
But it the back of his mind, Phu makes a mental note to go see an optometrist as soon as possible.
Phu is practically vibrating as he arrives at university. He’s not sure if he’s vibrating more from nerves or excitement, but it’s definitely a mix of the two. It’s his first day with contact lenses. He hasn’t shown anyone or told anyone about it, opso he’s excited to see everyone’s reactions to his new look. Especially Cir’s reaction.
But that’s also why he’s nervous, because what if Cir reacts badly?
It seems unlikely. It was Cir’s idea originally, so it would be weird if he’s unhappy about it.
Still. Phu can’t help but be nervous.
No one seems to be laughing at him or pointing at him as he walks to class, though, so that’s a good sign that he at least doesn’t look stupid.
Though he has to wonder if he was just invisible to everyone else when he sits down in class and all his friends stare at him.
“What?” he asks.
“Why is your face naked?” Achi asks.
“Does it look bad?” Phu asks, self-conscious. Maybe he did make a mistake.
“No, no, it doesn’t look bad at all!” Tee quickly assures him. “I’m guessing you got contact?”
“Yeah!” Phu perks up a little again. “P’Cir suggested it. And it’s a lot more practical.” He hunches in on himself. “But… do I look weird? Or ugly?”
“No, you look good,” Jin says. “P’Cir’s gonna love it.”
“Definitely,” Tee agrees.
“I have to get used to it,” Achi says, then nods slowly, “but yeah, it looks good. You look good.”
Phu straightens up again, rejuvenated. His friends have always been honest with him. If he didn’t look good without his glasses, they’d tell him, he’s sure of it. It makes him excited again for Cir’s reaction.
He’s so excited, in fact, that he keeps zoning out in class, and before he knows it, Jin is poking him and saying it’s over.
“It’s already lunchtime?” he asks, a little baffled. Two hours passed in the blink of an eye (though, looking down at his notes, he can see that he did pay attention some of the time, thankfully).
“Yep,” Jin replies with a smirk. “Time to go show P’Cir your new look, too.”
Most of their classmates have already left, so it’s only Phu’s friends who see him almost falling over when he rushes to get up too quickly. Thankfully none of them make any comments, but Phu isn’t sure he’d care if they did. He’s too excited.
Once seated in the cafeteria, Phu doesn’t actually eat lunch. He can’t. He’s too busy looking around, trying to see when Cir arrives. He does see Nalin and Tee giving him weird looks, and Jin and Achi shaking their heads, but he pays it no mind.
Finally, after what feels like longer than usual, Cir arrives.
There’s a few scattered murmurs as he saunters in between the tables, headed for the one Phu and his friends are at, but Cir doesn’t react to any of it. He keeps his eyes firmly on his destination.
It’s easy to see when he spots that something is now missing from Phu’s face, because he stops in his tracks. For a moment he just stands there, kind of awkwardly, staring at Phu. Phu does his best to give him his usual beaming smile and even adds a little wave.
Maybe it’s the movement of his hands that finally snaps Cir out of it and makes him close the last of the distance.
“P’Cir,” Phu says as Cir sits down next to him, on the edge of the bench.
“You’re not wearing your glasses,” Cir says, in lieu of a greeting.
Phu shakes his head, a little giddy. “No, I’m not.”
“Did you get contact lenses?” Cir asks.
“Yes, I did,” Phu says, nodding excitedly. “I took your suggestion, Phi.”
“You didn’t have to do it for me. That’s not what I said,” Cir says immediately.
Phu quickly shakes his head again. “I didn’t do it just because you suggested it. It’s a lot easier in general.”
“Oh. Okay then,” Cir says. He doesn’t add anything, which is slightly worrying, but at least he can’t seem to look away. His eyes are still roaming over Phu’s face. Hopefully that’s a good thing.
“Do… do you like it?” Phu asks hesitantly.
Cir must hear the hesitancy, because he slings an arm over Phu’s shoulders and pulls him a little closer into his side. “Yeah, I do,” he says. Then he leans in a little closer and lowers his voice. “But you should already know that. I told you that you’re hot without your glasses.”
Phu flushes, pleased.
As much as he doesn’t want anyone to think he looks stupid, Cir’s opinion is really the only one that matters (and his own, says a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Jin).
Cir pinches his cheek, like he thinks Phu is cute, and smiles when Phu’s cheeks get even redder.
“P’Cir, is P’Wim not with you?” Jin asks, looking around.
“What?” It takes a moment for Cir to look away from Phu, and seemingly, it also takes a moment for him to even register the question. “Oh, Wim. He dragged Rome to the student council room. They’ll come down here when they finish whatever it was they needed to do.”
“Aren’t you the vice president of the student council?” Achi asks.
“Yeah, so?” Cir asks and raises a single eyebrow.
Achi’s spine straightens out a little. “No, nothing. Just wondering.”
Cir’s eyes linger on Achi for a moment, almost like he’s trying to intimidate him, before his gaze slides back to Phu. And there’s nothing intimidating about this particular gaze, honestly.
“Did you do something different with your hair, too?” Cir asks.
Phu reaches up to adjust his bangs with a nod. “Slightly. I figured I’d try something I normally can’t do, because of my glasses.” An all too familiar knot forms in his stomach. “Does it look bad?”
“Not at all. I like it,” Cir says.
“Yeah,” Tee interjects with a smile, “you look cute. And so pretty!”
“Thank you,” Phu says bashfully. He’s not sure what to do in this situation. He’s been called cute plenty of times before, but he’s never gotten this many compliments on his looks all at once.
“You probably won’t be able to hide much anymore,” Achi says.
“I don’t hide,” Phu protests, both confused and astutely ignoring that he used to hide from Cir all the time.
Cir must think about that too, because he snorts out a laugh. Phu looks away, so that Cir won’t be able to see him, and he won’t be able to see Cir.
“No, I mean, people are probably gonna notice you more,” Achi clarifies.
“True,” Tee comments.
“No way. No one’s gonna notice me,” Phu says.
“I don’t know,” Jin muses with a smirk. “I think people might already be looking more.”
Phu looks around the cafeteria. He might spot a few people looking at their table, but there’s no way to say who they’re looking at. With Achi, Tee, and Cir all at the table, it’s more likely that people are looking at one of them. He says as much to the group, to which Jin just shakes his head a little.
“You’re underestimating how cute and pretty you are,” Achi says. Cir glares at him, and Achi shrinks back a little.
“You’re exaggerating,” Phu insists.
“I’m not sure,” Tee mumbles.
Clearly, none of them can be reasoned with, so Phu decides to stop trying.
“Whatever. Let’s just eat,” he says firmly and picks up with fork and spoon again. He looks up at Cir. “P’Cir, shouldn’t you get some food?”
“Yeah,” Cir hums. He ruffles Phu’s hair a little, then gets up. “I’ll be right back.”
Once he’s out of earshot, Achi leans over the table and whispers, “I’m telling you, people are gonna be noticing you more. P’Cir’s probably gonna get even more possessive than he already is. Mark my words.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Phu says. Removing his glasses and changing his hair a little is not gonna make a huge difference.
When Cir sits back down with his food, he puts his arm back around Phu’s shoulders and uses the grip to pull Phu in close, so he’s tucked flush against Cir’s side. Phu can’t help but grin, even though it probably makes him look dopey. If he was a cat, he’d be purring.
He keeps his eyes on his food, which means he doesn’t notice Cir glaring at people around the cafeteria.
“Hi.”
Phu jumps a little at Cir’s voice suddenly coming from behind him. It’s immediately followed by Cir’s lips on Phu’s cheek in a kiss so firm, Phu tilts a little to the side.
“Hi,” Phu says, brushing his fingers over his cheek, as Cir sits down next to him. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have class?”
Cir having class right now is, after all, why Phu is sitting in the library. He’s been waiting for Cir so they can go eat lunch together with the rest of their friends.
“The professor’s sick,” Cir explains. Then he holds out something to Phu. “Here.”
Phu blinks at the object Cir is holding out to him, a little confused. “What’s this?” he asks.
“Lenseless glasses,” Cir replies. He huffs out a dry laugh. “They’re Rome’s. He uses them when he wants to look smart. Not that they ever help.”
Phu laughs a little too, because that’s such a Rome thing, but he’s still confused.
“But I have glasses. Real glasses,” he says. He doesn’t understand why Cir is handing him fake glasses.
“But you’re wearing contacts, right?” Cir asks, raising his eyebrows.
Still confused, Phu just says, “Yes?”
“So you don’t need real glasses,” Cir says, as if that clears up anything.
“But why do I need to put on fake glasses?” Phu asks. Cir looks away. Phu thinks he might see a bit of pink on his cheeks, but the idea is so absurd he almost doesn’t believe his eyes. Cir never blushes. “P’Cir?”
Cir looks back at him, and his cheeks look even more pink now, even though he also looks very determined.
“I think you should wear glasses again,” he says simply.
Phu’s heart speeds up in panic.
“Why?” he asks. Had Cir lied to him yesterday? It hadn’t seemed like it, and Cir isn’t the type to lie, anyway, but maybe he just hadn’t known how to let Phu know the truth gently. He’s been trying to be less direct since they started dating. “I thought you liked how I look without them? Do you not? I’ll go home and take out my contacts right now –”
“Stop.” Cir puts a hand on Phu’s arm, stopping him from getting up.
“But you said –”
“I think you look really good without your glasses,” Cir says firmly. “That’s not the problem. The problem is that other people think you look good without your glasses.”
Phu blinks at him again. “What?”
Cir takes a deep breath. “Yesterday, everyone was staring at you.”
“No they weren’t,” Phu protests, almost automatically.
“Yes, they were,” Cir says.
“How do you know? If you saw people looking in my direction when we were together, they were probably staring at you,” Phu counters.
“It wasn’t just when we were together. I know what I saw. People were staring at you. And I don’t want anyone staring at you but me,” Cir says firmly.
“Wait,” Phu says slowly, “are you… are you jealous? Or possessive of me?”
Cir huffs and looks away for a moment. “I’ve always been possessive of what’s mine. Obviously that’s gonna include my boyfriend.”
Warmth slowly starts spreading in Phu’s belly. Achi was right. Cir is possessive of him. Of Phu! Even though he really doesn’t need to be.
“P’Cir, you know it doesn’t matter if people stare at me, right?” he asks. “I’m always staring at you, anyway. You’re the only one I want.”
“I know. Still doesn’t mean I like to see it when others look at you like that,” Cir says. He holds out the fake glasses again. “So will you wear these? For me?”
Smiling, Phu takes the lenseless glasses and puts them on. “There. Better?”
“Mmh,” Cir hums in approval and pinches Phu’s nose. “Though I don’t know why people haven’t been staring at you before. You’re cute like this, too.”
Phu flushes red. Maybe one day, he’ll stop blushing when Cir compliments him but today is not that day.
But something that has changed is how he deals with it. A few months ago, he’d have stuttered and fiddled and tried to cover his blushing in vain. Now, he leans in and presses a firm kiss to Cir’s cheek. The frames of the glasses are pressed between them, but without any actual glass in them, it doesn’t really matter.
Cir rubs at his cheek where the glasses pressed in. “I guess that’s still gonna be an issue, though.”
“Should I take them off again?” Phu asks, already reaching up for the frames, but Cir’s hands grab his own to stop him.
“No, leave them on,” he says. “At least for now.” He leans in closer and lowers his voice. “Tonight, I’ll find a way to make sure everyone knows you’re taken. Then it won’t matter if they look at you.”
This time, Phu flushes bright red, because he knows what that means.
“P’Cir!” he mumbles, a little scandalized, and looks around to see if anyone might have overheard them. Thankfully, the only other people he can see are at a table in the opposite end of the room.
Cir chuckles a little. “Are you shy?” he asks teasingly.
“Who wouldn’t be,” Phu mumbles.
“You’re fucking cute when you’re shy,” Cir says, pinching Phu’s cheek. Phu thinks his face may have turned into a tomato at this point. “Now that everyone’s noticed you, they’ll be noticing that too. I definitely need to make sure everyone knows that you’re off limits. I’ll definitely have to take your glasses off for that.”
“P’Cir,” Phu huffs and gives Cir a little shove. Cir barely moves with it, because he’s built like a brick house.
Cir smirks, amused, then sighs dramatically.
“But I guess I’ll have to get used to people looking at you,” he says. “Shouldn’t be too hard. I got used to people looking at me.”
“I’m telling you, no one is looking at me,” Phu insists.
“And I’m telling you that you’re wrong,” Cir says, just as insistent.
Phu shakes his head. Clearly, he won’t get anywhere in this argument. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It feels pretty nice, to have Cir be so possessive of him. He’s never felt that before. Just like he’s never felt this pretty either, but the way Cir keeps looking at him and touching him and talking about him, makes Phu feel like he just might look something more than plain. That’s a pretty nice feeling, too.
Switching out his glasses for contact lenses is definitely worth all that. Even if it is making Cir act kind of silly. That’s a pretty rare sight, so really, it’s just a bonus of this whole thing.