Work Text:
Armin Arlert is a wise man.
Many have compared him to Erwin Smith, a man who was known to live with integrity and died fighting for his people.
He was a wise man, but the former scouts knew better. Erwin was not always truthful and real.
Armin knew better; some of the former scouts knew Erwin was not as perfect and controlled as he seemed.
He also had regrets, choices that he knew he should've picked, chances he knew he could've took.
With all the missteps he committed which costed multiple lives of his people, Armin knew that those haunted Erwin until his death.
The same goes for Levi Ackerman, an untouchable force that was always seen as perfect and yet held countless of his comrades dead bodies.
Now, Levi is given a chance to live the simple life he always wanted.
An honest and truthful life with no blood stains to wash off anymore
Armin, on the other hand, couldn't let go of this facade.
He will always be Armin Arlert, the wise man who succeeded Erwin Smith
A man whose principles were straight and untainted
A man who saved the world from a devil named Eren Yeager.
He will always be known as that
He will bear it all, for Eren, for Mikasa, and for---
"Ankle Awmyn!!!!"
"Uncle Awmin"
His best friends' children's sake.
Armin smiled as he saw two kids running towards him, with big smiles and green eyes happier than ever.
Those eyes, eyes that once belonged to the brother he grew up with.
"Noah, Libby, how are you guys?"
The girl, as hyper as she is, screams "WI OKEY!" (we're okay!) and begins to signal for him to pick her up. With those big green eyes and wide grin, he can't help but remember Eren.
"I brought books for you and your brother."
"Wu did?"
"Yes."
Noah also smiles at him. He's the older sibling by just a bit, and yet he's quite calmer than his sister.
The way he looks at Armin, as if he's listening to him and soaking in every piece of information he says, even something petty, makes Armin think he's a good listener like his mom, Mikasa.
They were really his best friends' children.
"Armin."
He saw a woman just behind the kids, smiling at him while holding a basket full of clothes and fabric.
He smiled at her as he carried Libby and held Noah with his right hand.
Mikasa enters the house, and Armin follows. The kids scrambled as Armin gives them a bag full of books and some educational toys. Libby was screaming and running through the living room while her brother, Noah, follows her, trying to somewhat calm his sister's excitement.
He sits at his usual place at the cabin, a small space in the kitchen, where he usually reads his book when the two children are running around the living room. This was his second home, next to his apartment building. He was a frequent visitor to this place, and he wanted to, because Mikasa lives almost alone with the kids, except for a few distant neighbors, so he needs to accompany her, even if it's just once a month.
Especially because no one knew about the children but him.
"How are you, Armin? how's the wedding planning?"
"It's been hell. I've never imagined that wedding planning could be as difficult as making battle strategies."
Mikasa chuckled as she gave him hot chocolate.
"How's Annie? Bet she's restless."
"She's been fine. I told her I was visiting you for a while and she asked me to give you an invitation"
Mikasa's smiled
Armin knew for himself that she cannot go and attend his wedding
It's obvious why
"Does she still not know about... my kids?"
Armin smiled at her while sipping his chocolate.
"No, as long as you want to keep this a secret just between you and me, I will try to hold it as much as I can."
Mikasa smiles faintly as she stirs the spoon in her cup. Armin sees she's nervous.
"I-I think I should begin to introduce them." Her lips trembled.
"To our friends, to Levi, to everyone we trust and close to. I-I want them to l-live a normal life with other k-kids, but--"
Mikasa cannot let those words out.
Armin swallowed before continuing Mikasa's sentence.
"Our friends, I believe, will be glad to know about Noah and Liberty, but the public will definitely see them as threats, and some of the Yeagerists are still in hiding, they will definitely want them to their side"
Mikasa trembled just by thinking about that
Mikasa looked at her children, seeing that they were playing in the living room and too occupied with Armin's presents, she spoke
"The day when I confessed to Eren, I asked him to run away with me, and he agreed but when we were boarding the train, I-I hesitated"
"I didn't want to leave you, and everyone behind. Eren and I after that, returned and things happened between him and I, b-before he left...on his own"
"When you decided to end him, did you already feel the growing life inside you?" Armin finally asked the question
The question he desperately wanted an answer, but couldn't muster the courage to ask whenever he visited Mikasa.
"Y-yes, that was also a part of the reason why I ended things the way I did, to not only let Eren rest, but also give our children the chance to live" she confessed
A single tear escaped Mikasa's eyes which she hurriedly wiped off
"I just wished he knew, I wished I told him about them"
Armin smiled hesitantly, he wanted to say, he has to say it.
Eren knew
Armin kept it to Mikasa, as a promise to Eren during their conversation in the paths.
To care for Mikasa and his children, to guide her and help her with everything she needs.
But he just...he just can't say it to Mikasa.
"Maybe if he knew, things could've been better"-Mikasa trembled as she said this to Armin
Armin took a sip of the chocolate, not because he wanted to drink, but to avoid eye contact with her.
The chocolate tastes sweet, Armin thought, it was sweet with a slight bitterness to it.
After almost a minute of silence, Armin spoke again
"I heard Jean sends you letters, does he know?"
The suddenly change of the topic surprised Mikasa
"Yes, he does sends me letters, but I honestly don't know if he knew"
With Jean's sharpness, Armin knew that he knew all about Eren and Mikasa's children, he saw him bought a green kiddie teddy bear and a kid's cap, and Armin told him it was for the kids in the orphanage. Jean looked at him ridiculously.
A poor excuse when they already had sent lots of gifts in orphanages days ago.
Now, thinking about that, he's quite sure that Jean knows about the existence of her and Eren's children and yet--
he doesn't want to say it
"He's really friendly to you"
Armin looked at her, determined to hear her answer
Mikasa let out a deep sigh
"And I don't have any intention of exceeding our relationship beyond a friendship"
Armin nods
This will be difficult
"I don't think I can love someone as much as I loved Eren. It will be unfair if I give someone a chance when I know there was no chance in the first place" Mikasa continued."
"I will live my life for my children, for my friends, and for Eren. I just hoped, even if it was too late, I hoped he knew that I will live for him as long as this body of mine can."
Eren loves you too, so much, very much. You were carved in his heart
Armin wanted to say that
Eren died loving Mikasa, and Armin knew that Eren will choose to die again, and again, and again
Repeatedly, continuously, he would die
In order for Mikasa to live
But he can't say that
What Armin can only do is to offer a sincere smile
"And I will be right beside you, Mikasa. Whatever the future holds, I will always be there, as a friend, and as your brother."
He held Mikasa's hand, and Mikasa also held his
"Thank you for everything, Armin."
Mikasa Ackerman killed Eren Yeager
The father of her children
The man she loved and will always love
That was the truth
And yet, Armin will let the world think he has done it
Guess he's no different from Erwin Smith,
A man hailed for his integrity, who died with his own secrets and regrets
He will do the same
He will be buried with those secrets and regrets, and he will continue to bear them.
Until the end, where everyone finally rests, and then he can rise and run with them freely towards the tree.